Brett Ratner »

For some reason, everyone wants to remake The Boys from Brazil -- Variety reported this morning that the rights to the film were sold at an auction in which New Line ultimately outbid Universal. And, get this: The presence of Brett Ratner on New Line's side was the thing that actually sealed the deal (well, that and the million-plus dollars the studio had on the table). Yes, that's right, rights-owners Granada Films actually thought Ratner's influence would make the remake good. Clearly they've not seen much of his work.

The original was released in 1978 and starred Gregory Peck (the obvious choice) as Josef Mengele, hatching an evil plan involving (spoiler coming, but since it's apparently ON THE BACK OF THE DVD BOX, the secret isn't very well-kept) cloning Hitler and killing a bunch of old men. He's foiled by Laurence Olivier, a Nazi-hunter who, because it's what happens in movies, figures out Mengele's plan and arrives just in time to kick his evil, Nazi ass. Oh, and James Mason, Uta Hagen, Bruno Ganz and Steve Guttenberg are all in it, too. Granted, the movie is generally considered sort of a campy mess, but why mess with that sort of bizarre casting magic? Well, if you're New Line, you mess with it because you're all fired up about modernizing (of course) the story, and making the movie in a world full of knowledge about cloning. Hooray.

The remake will be written by Richard Potter and Matthew Stravitz, and it's hoped production will begin as soon as Ratner finishes Rush Hour 3.

I'll have to check the files on this, but I'm pretty sure that any sort of collaboration between Brett Ratner and Roman Polanski is a sign of the apocalypse. So, if Ratner can be trusted (ahem), it's time to start preparing for plagues of locusts and whatnot -- he told CHUD last week that not only has he written a part for Polanski in Rush Hour 3 (!?), but that the two are mates, and share a "mutual respect." Ok, I'm not sure which one of those statements caused it, but I just threw up a little in my mouth. Granted, Polanski's always been, well, a bit unusual. But the guy made Chinatown, for the love of God -- how can he respect Ratner? And why on earth would he want to be in a Rush Hour movie? Personally, I suspect Ratner has developed an elaborate charade in which he's pretending to be Steven Soderbergh in his relationship with Polanski, and the poor man thinks he's appearing in Ocean's Thirteen. It's the only possible explanation that I can come up with.

Here's the best part (if you ignore the bit about how Polanski is -- gag -- "a fan") of the Ratner interview, because it reveals so much about his fragile ego: "[Polanski] treats me as an equal, he loves my movies, he's a fan. If I was directing Harry Knowles from Aint It Cool News I wouldn't feel very comfortable – he would be looking at me sideways the whole time. But Polanski gives me respect and admiration and love, so I'm fearless." Do you think Knowles shows up in Ratner's nightmares?

[via Moviehole]

How is it that Brett Ratner's X-Men: The Last Stand -- which drops to below the 400-screen radar this week, playing on 332 screens with a gross nearing $233 million -- outgrossed the first two films? The movie is a vastly inferior sequel to Bryan Singer's excellent X2: X-Men United (2002), slammed together by a man who could be, in fact, the very definition of "hack director." He has made nothing but intellectual, artistic offenses with his films (Rush Hours 1-2, The Family Man, the truly dreadful Red Dragon and the should've-gone-straight-to-video After the Sunset), and yet has reaped millions and millions for Hollywood, with more zeroes at the end of his checks than the top half-dozen most talented filmmakers put together.

I'll do the math: Bryan Singer's first X-Men (2000) clocked in at about $157 million, and his second, even better film stopped at about $215 million. According to Lee's Movie Info, the average movie ticket price in 2000 was $5.39, and in 2002 it was $5.80. This year it's an estimated $6.56. That's 29 million tickets sold for the first movie, about 37 million for the second, and about 35.5 million for the third one. Yes, we can assume that lots of people saw the first couple on DVD -- but you have to account for a certain amount of word-of-mouth; wouldn't people tell their friends about how badly X-Men 3 sucked?

In Hollywood, people win so many awards they apparently have trouble juggling them all. Producer Lauren Shuler Donner (X-Men franchise; She's the Man) was honored at the Women in Film Crystal and Lucy Awards on Tuesday night, and she accidentally dropped her made-of-crystal Crystal Award on the ground and broke it.

The two other winners of the Crystal Award were an overwhelmed Jennifer Lopez and songwriter Dianne Warren (Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"). Maria Bello received "The MaxMara Award" for the "Face of the Future" and Geena Davis was given The Lucy Award, which is named for Lucille Ball. After accepting her award, Davis made a speech about the gender imbalance still going on in movies and television, saying it isn't getting better.

I think it has gotten a little better, hasn't it? Okay, so there being more female superhero roles isn't a great breakthrough, especially when they're in movies like Catwoman and Aeon Flux. I get it.

Well, those of you who thought The Da Vinci Code was going to suck some life out of X-Men: The Last Stand, forcing its opening numbers to drop below those of X2, were sadly mistaken. Talk about one helluva stand, the third (and final?) installment in the X-Men series has reportedly taken in $44.5 million on Friday alone. Someone get me Brett Ratner -- I want to give him a great, big kiss. Muah!

With those kinds of numbers, X-Men: The Last Stand officially took in more money than any film on its first Friday, like, ever. While it fell roughly $10 million shy of beating the current one-day record holder, Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith, pic did manage to knock Friday's reigning champion, Spider-Man, out of its top spot. And what about Da Vinci? Well, Dan Brown was no match for Wolverine, scraping together barely $10 million. Take that Christ haters!  Will X-Men: The Last Stand defeat Spider-Man's three-day record of $114 million? Will Da Vinci fight back? Will I find the time to get my lazy ass off the couch to see either of these films? Martha will be back later in the weekend to give us the final numbers. Man, talk about a cliffhanger.

Since the events of the last X-Men film, a degree of progress has been made in the stand-off between mutants and humans: the U.S. government now boasts a full-fledged Department of Mutant Affairs, headed by an un-threatening mutant spokesman with Sno-Cone-blue body fur that puffs out of the sleeves of a cheap suit and the sotto voce intonations of Dr. Frasier Crane. In other words, we have the X-Men to thank for a new bloated, do-nothing government bureaucracy. If you've seen the first two X-Men films, you already know that this show of good will on the part of homo sapiens will go unacknowledged by the series' resident malcontent, Magneto (Ian McKellen) who serves as a kind of Malcolm X-Man for discontented mutants, eschewing any cooperation with the majority in favor of muscle-flexing and, if need be, armed resistance. At around the 45-minute mark in each film, you can count on Magneto to suddenly don a curious-looking rugby helmet and begin using his powers of magnetic attraction to lift automobiles and their bewildered occupants off the ground. This is how he signals that the discussions are over. In this latest outing, Magneto is accompanied, as always, by his trophy mutant Mystique, a beguiling shape-shifter with jaundiced eyes who has the power to double any other person, and usually chooses Rebecca Romijn as a go-to body.

With Hollywood milking more and more money out of comic-book adaptations -- with X-Men: The Last Stand the most recent cash-grab to come down the pike -- any non-comics fan may very well be left scratching their head: What's all the fuss about? Why should they care about spandex-clad uber-humans with bizarre abilities? Well, when superhero cinema works, it's because those characters aren't just power fantasies for kids and adolescents; it's because they're great ways to explore archetypes, allegories and cultural signifiers.  If you're wondering why you should care about the X-Men -- or any of superhero cinema's successes and failures -- here's a handy cheat sheet to guide you through the symbolism and secret meanings of seven superhero cinema sagas past, present and (in one case) future.

Hugh Jackman is certainly the face of the current X-Men movie franchise -- I don't think there's any real question about it. Patrick Stewart may be his closest challenger, but hey, whose claws have been on all the movie posters for the past six months? Not only is the Wolverine character among the most popular in the Marvelverse (sometimes it seems like he's in every title at once), Hugh Jackman is a fan favorite. Mr. Jackman's importance to Marvel on film may be larger than any of us suspected, however, as recent comments by Jackman himself makes is seem as though he has almost complete control over choosing the director for his upcoming spin-off film Wolverine.

Jackman is quoted over at Filmstalker as saying the script is currently in its third (and hopefully final) draft rewrite, and once that's finished they'll go director hunting. According to Jackman, Brett Ratner's name is certainly in the mix, but several other high-powered directors are also interested, and he wants to make sure he gives it to someone who can do something new and exciting with it and not treat it simply as X-Men 4 in disguise. Jackman said "I'm not going to make a decision until I have the script right, but I'll definitely look at Brett." Definitely sounds as though Hugh's got himself a pretty sweet gig -- you know you're doing well for yourself when you get to name your own director.

Odds and ends from Friday:

• Even though summer is right around the corner, it's never too early to talk Christmas films. Kristin Davis, Alia Shawkat and twins Sabrina and Kelly Aldridge have signed on to co-star in the family comedy, Deck the Halls (previously known as All Lit Up). Pic, which also stars Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito will tell of two neighbors who go to war over the excessive decorating of one's house for Christmas. As always, somewhere along the way, everyone discovers the true meaning behind December's electric bill.

• New Line has thrown Dax Shepard into the starring role of their corporate comedy, The Retreat, with Tom Brady set to direct. Story will center on a Chicago Cub's hotdog vendor who lands a corporate job and climbs to the top by utilizing his knowledge of selling franks. Yeah, I don't get it either. Anyway, after learning on a company retreat that he's being targeted by a disgruntled employee, Dax must do something about it ... or risk everything!

• When asked recently who his dream cast would be for Rush Hour 3, director Brett Ratner threw out the name of basketball player Yao Ming as someone he's extremely interested in. Why Yao? Well, Ratner wants to re-create the fight scene from the Bruce Lee film in which he fights Kareem Abdul-Jabbar ... but he wants to do it in reverse. Yeah, I don't get it either. Also on the Rush Hour dream team are Aishwarya Rai, Gong Li and Tony Jaa. Unless he throws Brad Pitt into the starting lineup, I can't see this group making it to the playoffs.

Nobody seems to know the state of affairs regarding the X-Men film franchise. While it seems unlikely for a studio to can such a money-maker (presuming the third film performs as well as the first two), but a trilogy is a pretty standard film count and The Last Stand does sound pretty final. Director Brett Ratner and some studio execs have been insisting it is indeed the final film, while others, including writers and Patrick Stewart himself are suggesting otherwise. During a recent appearance on Jimmy Kimmel's show, Famke Janssen (the actress who portrays X-Man Jean Grey) offered a statement which actually manages to provide rumor fodder for both camps at the same time. When asked about further films, she said "They call it The Last Stand and I think they have every intention of this being the last X-Men movie," she said. "But then, you never know."

So if you want to believe this is the final film, her statement fits right in with what you want to hear. However, if you are pulling for the franchise to continue, you can cling to the last bit of her comment. Basically, she admitted the possibility is still open, but unlikely. Or something like that ... At any rate, Janssen is interested in returning, if the opportunity should come up. In response to a question about her interest in continuing the role, she laughed and said, "Yeah, I guess at some point, Jean Grey can go in a wheelchair like Professor X ..."