OK, I gotta keep this short because I'm crazy busy with SXSW madness, but you won't believe this. A few days ago we published a review of an indie noir film called The Perfect Sleep, and it seems that none other than GARY OLDMAN has taken exception with this review. Seriously, check this video ...

Technically, the news here is that the charges against W. stars Josh Brolin and Jeffrey Wright -- who were arrested last July at a Shreveport, La., bar for interfering with the arrest of another crew member -- are being dropped. A Shreveport City Court spokesperson told E! News that Brolin, Wright, and five others arrested at the same time are on what's called "district attorney's probation," meaning that as long as they stay out of trouble between now and their next court date, in March, all the charges against them will officially be dropped at that time.

Accounts of what happened at the bar that night vary wildly, but apparently the film's cast and crew were celebrating the end of shooting, things got rowdy, the cops were called, and a W. crew member, Eric Felland, got arrested. Wright and Brolin tried to talk the cops out of it, and they got arrested, too. A round of arrests for everyone! On the house!

But that's not all. In the process, Brolin was pepper-sprayed and Wright was Tasered. Now video footage of this has shown up, hosted at the sleazy-but-occasionally-useful TMZ.com. (We can't embed it, but you can watch it here.) In the video, you can see a post-spraying Brolin, now mellow and subdued, still trying to talk the cops into letting everyone go, and being handcuffed. Meanwhile, out in the street, Wright -- who appears to already be handcuffed -- is on the ground, being Tasered repeatedly for the duration of the video. What possible reason the police could have for Tasering a suspect who's already restrained and behaving calmly, I cannot imagine. No doubt "you weren't there, you don't know what happened" will be cited as justification for it.

When Josh Brolin takes a night off from playing a young George W. Bush to get arrested in a bar, the jokes practically write themselves. (Method acting, anyone?) That's what happened in the wee hours of Saturday morning in Shreveport, La., as Brolin, co-star Jeffrey Wright (who plays Colin Powell), and five crew members from Oliver Stone's biopic W. were arrested at the Stray Cat bar and taken down to the big house.

The Associated Press's account is sparse, so we turn to Shreveport's KSLA News 12 for more details (and thanks to Jeffrey Wells for the link). Seems it was closin' time at the ol' Stray Cat, and Brolin and his pals wouldn't leave, despite bein' asked twice, and they were bein' rowdy. So the bar staff called the police, who arrived just after 2 a.m., whereupon there was a bit of a scuffle, and a fellow named Eric Felland got arresting for remaining in the bar, public drunkenness, and resisting arrest. Brolin, Wright, and the other W.-affiliated folks reportedly interfered with the arrest, so they got arrested for that misdemeanor.

The Shreveport Times reports that Brolin posted a $334 bond and was free to go. Wright and the other four arrest-resisters had the same price on their heads. The guy who was being arrested in the first place, Felland, who is a lighting technician on the film, had a $752 bond. It's unclear from the early news reports how long it took everyone to get out of the clink, but one assumes they didn't have to fester in jail too long. I like what one of the commenters at Hollywood Elsewhere said, that it would have been great if James Cromwell, who plays George Bush Sr., had had to come bail everyone out.

Producer Gary Hamilton, mostly known for direct-to-video crap although he also produced the stellar Aussie horror film Wolf Creek, recently chatted with Page Six about his upcoming film Dare to Love Me, starring Lindsay Lohan, and apparently production on that film has been postponed at the zero hour before cameras were about to roll. "I'm not sure the movie is going to go immediately," he confessed to the gossip rag, while deflecting the obvious question about whether insuring star Lohan was the financial hurdle he couldn't get over. "There's no problem with Lindsay from our perspective," he said. "It's financing the film, which is a separate issue." I wouldn't necessarily take him at his word on that, since even at this stage of the game he couldn't afford to be perceived as slamming his star in the press and it makes too much sense to assume insurance companies balked at backing Lohan, who was spotted chugging champagne as recently as this past weekend.

On the other hand, one look at the movie's bio will make you think that no one would finance this thing if it had Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie attached. The seemingly ill-conceived period piece follows "tango legend Carlos Gardel" who falls in love with a prostitute and gets shot in the lung, but still "seduces crowds with his enchanting voice, bringing Tango music as a liberating voice to Europe." It's being directed by Alfonso Arau, the guy who hit us over the noggin with A Walk in the Clouds back in 1995, and was only recently released from director's jail for that crime. Stay tuned to Cinematical for the latest twists and turns in Lohan's career rollercoaster ride.

If you're going to be in Miami from January 5th to 8th, you might want to stop by the Art Miami Fair at the Miami Beach Convention Center and behold a new painting of the Virgin Mary -- actually, make that the Virgin Angelina. Artist Kate Kretz is presenting a new oil and acrylic painting on linen entitled "Blessed Art Thou." It presents Angelina Jolie and her three children as the Virgin Mary and offspring, hovering in heavenly repose over a typical American Wal-Mart with flags draped from the rafters and plus-sized shoppers obliviously gazing at the merchandise. A sickly green hue fills the air over the shoppers, one of whom seems to be staring in the general direction of a copy of Us Weekly, which is wedged in the magazine rack next to a "For Dummies" book. A frothy cloud cover forms a dividing line between the serene celebrity heaven above and the hell below.

In conjunction with the unveiling, Kretz has been keeping a blog on her website, detailing the step-by-step creation of the painting. The blog seems to be in the same "too much information" spirit as the painting itself, giving us an excess of detail about her artistic process. Here's a sampling: "hair and sash are not the only dark values, so the grouping is more unified against the clouds. I think the clouds have lost some impact, as the blue dress is stronger than the blue of the clouds...."

Mel Gibson wants you to know something: he's sick and tired of being called to account for his behavior. The Bird on a Wire star, turned director of flagellation epics like Braveheart and The Passion of the Christ, has given an interview to USA Today in which he opens up about his recent troubles and claims that his critics have not been treating him fairly. "I've apologized, done the right thing, now get the hell over it," he says. He also feels the public flogging he's undergone in the past six months -- which must be enjoyable to him on some level, right? -- has been "out of proportion." Gibson has been out promoting his latest opus, Apocalypto, but until now has chosen to only give interviews to television outlets and movie websites that would shamefully avoid quizzing him about that night in July when he was pulled off the Pacific Coast Highway and launched into a slobbering, drunken tirade against Jews.

Gibson also seems to feel that criticism of Apocalypto, which has done well at the box office and been rewarded with a Golden Globe nomination, is an attack on him personally. "To make it personal against me, that's a low blow," he opines, although its not clear which critic he's referring to. Having not seen Apocalypto yet, I can't comment one way or another on whether the criticism is fair, but it seems like the most prudent thing Gibson could do at this point is just pipe down. Unless he wants to offer a long-overdue apology for Lethal Weapon 4.

At long last, Angelina Jolie gave birth to a little girl this Saturday.  As Martha reported earlier, the baby's name is Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.  According to People magazine, Shiloh is a biblical name.  According to me, it is my favorite Neil Diamond song (yes, minus the "h" for all you ND sticklers).  This religious streak is getting a bit old.  The well of biblical names is bound to dry up sooner or later and then what will we be left with?  Magdalene Hilton?  Judas Simpson?  Lucifer Spears-Federline?  Seriously though, if they had to go biblical, they could have at least drummed up some publicity for Brad's new flick and called the baby, Babel.

Following the hot Hollywood trend to have simultaneous celebrity births, Gwen Stefani also became a new mother this weekend with the arrival of Kingston James McGregor Rossdale (or as I like to call him, the future Mr. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt).  Kingston is the first child for Gwen and her husband Gavin Rossdale and hopefully not the last.  At 36, Gwen better get cracking if she wants to finish off the Caribbean Collection - Santo Domingo and Port au Prince aren't going to birth themselves.

There is no denying the fact that Chad Lowe has single-handedly refuted the old adage Boys Don't Cry.  We've all seen him gleefully weeping throughout his wife's acceptance speeches, but this time around, the tears will not be of joy.  On Friday, Chad and Hilary Swank announced that they are ending their marriage of almost nine years.  I admire Lowe for being man enough (minus the water works) to play the role of Mr. Hilary Swank with such class and dignity.  I know he had a lot of life experience playing second fiddle to Mr. Rob Lowe, but all the same, they seemed to have given it their best shot.  Luckily the pair have no children, so now all they have to worry about is screwing up a couple of cats and some parrots. 

Ahem. So for those of you who have been on pins and needles waiting for the big announcement, here it is: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had the baby with the world's fullest lips last night in Namibia, all of Hollywood's favorite birthing-ville. (Hey, if the government is willing to stop the press at the airport on your say-so, there's something to be said for the place as a hide-away, even for the highest-maintenance of preggers celebs.)

The details:

• Name: Bacon Cheesecake Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt
• Gender: Girl
• Birth City: Walvis Bay
• Looks: Reddish and squinty at the moment, but indications are she'll be jailbait by the time she hits 14.
• Price tag for first picture of the kid: Several freaking million (And if you weren't already worrying about the direction our society is going, it's officiall time to start.)

Actor Brad Renfro (AKA the kid from The Client) has had sort of a tough week. On Monday he was before a judge for sentencing after pleading guilty to attempted possession of heroin, a charge stemming from his arrest in a December sting operation. Because California has a law that allows non-violent drug offenders to enter treatment rather than the state pen, the judge, in addition to handing down three years of probation and the warning of up to 18 months in jail for a subsequent drug arrest, ordered Refro into a "drug diversion" program.

It turns out, however, that any "Woo hoo! No prison!" celebration following that court appearance was a mite hasty, because when Renfro pleaded no contest yesterday to a November drunk driving charge, he was sentenced to 10 days in prison, another five years probation, and 18 months in (yet another) counseling program. Doh! To his credit, the actor turned himself in on the spot, and began serving the sentence immediately.

Ah, child stars. They're like little, human car wrecks.

Although the above blurry picture can hardly act as any definitive proof of the sighting, I promise you, dear Cinematical readers, that the blur in question snapped by the lens of my cellphone is in fact none other than Justin Timberlake. While we were enjoying the last moments of a delectable meal at Adolf's in Park City last night, Timberlake shot off to the restroom right in front of our table. I pulled my Razor out of my pocket and acted like I was trying to dial a number waiting for him to shoot by our table again, returning to his own, as fast as fast can be.

Timberlake was in town in support of his movie Alpha Dog, and girlfriend Cameron Diaz was also dining with him, although when they left the restaurant he was walking swiftly several people ahead of her, as she smiled with her head turned down as if she knew some joke or realized we were bloggers staring at them preparing this paltry post.