Cinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.comCinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.com/media/feedlogo.gifCinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.comen-usCopyright 2009 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Cinematical Seven: Ways to Leave Your Employerhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/03/cinematical-seven-ways-to-leave-your-employer/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/03/cinematical-seven-ways-to-leave-your-employer/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/03/cinematical-seven-ways-to-leave-your-employer/#commentsFiled under:

Office Space

The film Up in the Air opens in theaters on Friday, and a large part of the film is about people leaving their jobs, usually involuntarily. George Clooney's character makes a living from laying off people, and the reactions of the dismissed employees in the film are often amazing. I must say, I was laid off from a day job a few months ago (and miraculously found a better one a month later, so no need for sympathy), and after seeing Up in the Air, I wished it had been Clooney's character that did the deed. He really does have a knack.

Hollywood has given us so many examples of ways people are laid off, fired, and quit ... or do something spectacularly insane that they know will end their employment one way or another. There must be 50 ways to leave your employer, especially if Paul Simon is involved, but we have space for seven. I know I've left out some excellent scenes -- my original list had 14 films on it -- so don't hesitate to let us know which ones I forgot or was crazy not to include. Warning: There may be a few spoilers below.

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]]>Broadcast NewsBroadcastNewsCinematicalclerks 2clerks IIClerks2ClerksIifilmhis girl fridayHisGirlFridaylayoffsLost in AmericaLostInAmericamovienetworkoffice spaceOfficeSpaceThe ApartmentThe IncrediblesTheApartmentTheIncrediblesJette KernionThu, 03 Dec 2009 22:15:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Seven Actors Who Should've Played Scrooge By Nowhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/01/cinematical-seven-seven-actors-who-shouldve-played-scrooge-by/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/01/cinematical-seven-seven-actors-who-shouldve-played-scrooge-by/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/12/01/cinematical-seven-seven-actors-who-shouldve-played-scrooge-by/#commentsFiled under: ,


For many kids this Holiday season, their first exposure to Ebenezer Scrooge will be Jim Carrey's kinetic, flailing mo-cap performance in Robert Zemeckis' A Christmas Carol. Carrey has always done the "living cartoon" thing well, but I prefer my Scrooge more Alastair Sim and less Ace Ventura. In fact, Sim's 1951 portrayal of the character stands as the definitive Scrooge performance to me. Sim is believable at every turn in A Christmas Carol, and he gives Dickens' oft-repeated dialogue a vitality that set the bar for everyone that proceeded him.

There have been a handful of great Scrooges over the years -- Albert Finney, George C. Scott, Patrick Stewart, even Bill Murray -- but there are some actors who seem born for the role.

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]]>A Christmas CarolAChristmasCarolcharles dickensCharlesDickensChristmaschristmas carolChristmasCarolCinematicalscroogeJohn GholsonTue, 01 Dec 2009 22:46:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Movies with Nameless Main Charactershttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/28/cinematical-seven-movies-with-nameless-main-characters/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/28/cinematical-seven-movies-with-nameless-main-characters/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/28/cinematical-seven-movies-with-nameless-main-characters/#commentsFiled under:



Making a movie about a character whose name you never reveal sounds backwards and bizarre. How are we supposed to identify with the protagonist if we don't even know what to call him? But many films go that route, including this week's movie adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which doesn't name the man or the boy who occupy almost every frame of it. That's in keeping with McCarthy's novel, which is spare and bleak and doesn't use much punctuation, either. (The apocalypse wiped out most of the world's apostrophes.) Here are seven other movies whose central characters' names are kept hidden from us.

Fight Club. Currently celebrating its 10th anniversary, this modern classic follows novelist Chuck Palahniuk's lead by not naming the narrator, played by Edward Norton and identified simply as "The Narrator" in the credits. (Some viewers have thought the character is named Jack due to the Narrator's use of expressions like "I am Jack's cold sweat" and "I am Jack's raging bile duct," but he'd previously established that these are metaphors adapted from an old educational pamphlet he read where "Jack" was the generic name given.) The Narrator is intended to represent 20th-century men in general: repressed, emasculated, and timid. Of course, if you've seen the movie, you know we might actually wind up learning his name after all....

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]]>antichristbad lieutenantBadLieutenantblindnessfight clubFightClubsergio leoneSergioLeonethe roadTheRoadyeszombielandEric D. SniderSat, 28 Nov 2009 21:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: The Orson Welles Primerhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/24/cinematical-seven-the-orson-welles-primer/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/24/cinematical-seven-the-orson-welles-primer/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/24/cinematical-seven-the-orson-welles-primer/#commentsFiled under: , ,



This week Richard Linklater's Me and Orson Welles is finally making its way to the big screen. It's not a big buzzed-about film, but it is, indeed, one worthy of your time. The movie offers a peek at Efron's possible future (which the abysmal 17 Again completely failed to do), a delightful look into creating art in the '30s, and it recreates the nuances of theater on the big screen. And hey, it's a Linklater film, which seems to be painfully rare these days.

But none of those reasons are why I urge you to see it. It all rests on the shoulders of actor Christian McKay, who plays Orson Welles. I missed the film at TIFF, and spent the next year listening to raves over McKay's performance before I finally got the chance to make it to a screening. Even with the rave reviews and raised expectations, it was quite easy to get mesmerized by McKay, who not only bears an uncanny resemblance to the iconic actor and filmmaker, but also adeptly embodies the man's larger-than-life ways.

To get the full experience, you must be familiar with Welles, and if you're not, well, good lord, now's the time to change that. What follows are some of Welles' essential work, as well as glimpses into the man's real life so you can see just how good McKay's performance is.

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]]>Christian McKayChristianMckayCinematicalCitizen KaneCitizenKaneMe and Orson WellesMeAndOrsonWellesOrson WellesOrsonWellesThe Third ManThe Tragedy of OthelloTheThirdManTheTragedyOfOthelloTouch of EvilTouchOfEvilMonika BartyzelTue, 24 Nov 2009 22:16:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Movies That Start Fightshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/19/cinematical-seven-movies-that-start-fights/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/19/cinematical-seven-movies-that-start-fights/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/19/cinematical-seven-movies-that-start-fights/#commentsFiled under: , , , ,



I've been meaning to purchase and wear this t-shirt since I learned of its existence a couple of months ago, but I figured I'd better let the Twilight: New Moon hysteria die down first. It would appear, after all, that openly declaring one's hostility toward the Twilight franchise on one's person, even with a statement as unquestionably correct as "Vampires Don't Sparkle," is just asking for trouble. You do not want to mess with a gaggle of rabid Robert Pattinson fans.

I do not hate the Twilight franchise, actually, though I would like to suggest that the Twilighteers may live to regret sinking so much time and emotion into something so utterly banal. But I seem to be one of the few who occupy the middle ground. Twilight might be the most divisive love-it-or-hate-it phenomenon of the last few years. Not everyone adores Harry Potter, but most people have at least a grudging respect for it; Twilight has as many haters as fawning admirers.

You gotta admit that if you can use a movie to start an argument, it's at least good for something. Here are seven other movies that seem to disproportionately divide the moviegoing population into adoring fans and angry detractors.

1. Titanic - To get the obvious out of the way. It's amazing to me how often people make offhand derisive mentions of Titanic, as if its awfulness were well-established and self-evident. As with Twilight, of course, the surprisingly widespread disdain of this movie is a backlash against its army of obsessive partisans (and from a similar demographic to boot) -- the folks who showed up on local news shows in 1997 bragging about having seen it 16 times in the theater, etc. The fact that Titanic is a fantastic film -- and not really (or at least not only) for the reasons many of its fans think -- tends to get lost in the shuffle, sadly.

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]]>dogvilleevent horizonEventHorizonnatural born killersNaturalBornKillersthe blair witch projectthe matrix reloadedTheBlairWitchProjectTheMatrixReloadedtitanictransformerstransformers: revenge of tefallenTransformers:RevengeOfTefallentwilight: new moonTwilight:NewMoonEugene NovikovThu, 19 Nov 2009 22:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Sci-Fi Series That Need Movie Rebootshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/17/cinematical-seven-sci-fi-series-that-need-movie-reboots/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/17/cinematical-seven-sci-fi-series-that-need-movie-reboots/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/17/cinematical-seven-sci-fi-series-that-need-movie-reboots/#commentsFiled under:



I haven't been a fan of Hollywood's "Let's Remake Everything That Was Ever Popular!" plan, but I was pleasantly surprised by the reboots and reincarnations of Doctor Who, Battlestar Galactica, and even J.J. Abrams' new Star Trek movie, which is out on Blu-ray and DVD today. I'd argue that maybe science fiction is immune to the remake syndrome, but then you have Michael Bay's two awful Transformers movies. So that sort of shoots my theory in the foot.

Whatever the case, it's been great to have so much quality science fiction to choose from lately. There's also a hell of a lot out there that deserves a second look. Forgotten series from the 60s and 70s that have classic storytelling, great characters, and a lot of elements that make up truly good sci-fi: robots, spaceships, and time travel. So while you're enjoying that slick new Trek Blu-ray (even the menus are amazing!) and waiting for James Cameron's Avatar to hit screens, here are some classic science fiction properties that need some new life.

Space: 1999

This was my first introduction to Martin Landau, and even now whenever I see him in something I keep expecting him to don a white tunic and take command of things. Landau co-starred in this with his then wife (and recent Mission: Impossible co-star) Barbara Bain. The series was set in the "far future" of 1999 via 1975, and revolves around the Moon getting knocked loose from orbit around the Earth. When it goes bye-bye, it takes with it the 311 inhabitants of Moonbase Alpha. So the Moon, in effect, becomes their U.S.S. Enterprise, and they have adventures around the galaxy. Highlights included the Eagle, a spaceship that looked like it was made out of scaffolding. My best friend had a model of this when we were kids, and it was highly coveted. There have been some attempts to revive it, even as a movie, but nothing has happened. Yet.

Click here for the disco-tastic opening credit sequence for Space: 1999, then head beyond the break for more sci-fi reboots we'd like to see..

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]]>Blu-rayDVDEarth 2Earth2sci fisci-fiScience FictionScienceFictionSciFiSpace: 1999Space:1999Star TrekStarTrekThe Six Million Dollar ManTheSixMillionDollarManTime TunnelTimeTunnelUFOVoyagerKevin KellyTue, 17 Nov 2009 22:20:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Silliest Disaster Scenarioshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,



We both know that I could probably fill all seven slots of this list with just scenes from Roland Emmerich's disaster-tastic 2012, but in the interests of letting everyone else get a chance to see it, let's stick with films that have already come and gone. Some of these titles qualify because of the uniquely ridiculous nature of their disasters, while others count for what ridiculous plots unfold amidst otherwise ordinarily perilous acts of nature.

There will be a couple of spoilers to go along with our picks, but since most of these have been out for a couple of years, it's not like it's the end of the world...

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]]>2012christian slaterChristianSlatercinematical sevenCinematicalSevendisaster moviedisaster moviesDisasterMovieDisasterMoviesfirestormhard rainHardRainhilary swankHilarySwankhowie longHowieLongjake gyllenhaalJakeGyllenhaalknowingm night shyamalanmark wahlbergMarkWahlbergMNightShyamalanmorgan freemanMorganFreemannicolas cageNicolasCageroland emmerichRolandEmmerichsnakes on a planeSnakesOnAPlanethe corethe day after tomorrowthe happeningTheCoreTheDayAfterTomorrowTheHappeningwilliam forsytheWilliamForsytheWilliam GossThu, 12 Nov 2009 22:15:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Classic Hollywood Battles of The Sexeshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/10/cinematical-seven-classic-hollywood-battles-of-the-sexes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/10/cinematical-seven-classic-hollywood-battles-of-the-sexes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/10/cinematical-seven-classic-hollywood-battles-of-the-sexes/#commentsFiled under: , , ,



The battle of the sexes is alive and well in Hollywood, and whether it is the subject of a rom-com or an indie flick, audiences love to watch a good ol' fashioned throw down. But what makes a 'battle of the sexes' comedy a tricky proposition is that someone has to lose. So how do you make your audience (who is for the most part, female) accept the idea that a strong and feisty gal has learned the error of her ways and has 'surrendered to love''? Granted, it was a heck of a lot easier when they were making these movies in the '30s and '40s and marriage was the inevitable 'happy ending' for most gals.

Today, The Ugly Truth has been released on DVD and just like a million films to go before it, the story centers on a man and a woman who 'meet cute', fight a lot, and then fall in love -- and just like every other film, the whole thing hinges on the happy couple. When you're covering well trod ground like a battle of the sexes comedy, the charm and likability of your leads are your bread and butter -- and on a personal note, I just don't think Truth pulled it off, and I never got that charge from watching Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler engage in a little 'verbal foreplay'.

So at risk of sounding like somebody's grandmother, I decided that when it comes to the battle of the sexes comedy, nobody did it better than classic Hollywood, and it didn't matter whether it was during the hay day of screwball comedies or gritty films noir. That's why this Cinematical Seven is dedicated to those classic Hollywood couples that could battle with the best of them, but unlike Heigl and Butler, their chemistry became the stuff of movie legend.

After the jump; seven classic couples that are all-time champs when it comes to the battle of the sexes....

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]]>barbara stanwyckBarbaraStanwyckCary GrantCaryGrantcinematical sevenCinematicalSevenElizabeth TaylorElizabethTaylorKatherine HepburnKatherineHepburnMyrna LoyMyrnaLoyRosalind RussellRosalindRussellscrewballSpencer TracySpencerTracyJessica BarnesTue, 10 Nov 2009 22:03:00 ESTCinematical Seven: "WTF?" Dance Scenes in Non-Musicalshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/05/cinematical-seven-wtf-dance-scenes-in-non-musicals/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/05/cinematical-seven-wtf-dance-scenes-in-non-musicals/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/05/cinematical-seven-wtf-dance-scenes-in-non-musicals/#commentsFiled under: ,


I think it's safe to tell you, without spoiling the movie, that The Men Who Stare at Goats includes a couple of scenes with Jeff Bridges and George Clooney dancing around. The scenes are amusing and a little strange -- why are soldiers dancing? But they did fit consistently with the film as a whole. However, I was reminded of moments in movies that aren't musicals, but suddenly shift to some crazy kind of dance or musical number. I love these moments, and in fact I wish the dance scenes in The Men Who Stare at Goats were a little less toned-down and a little more "WTF?"

Okay, I'm kind of BS'ing you here. The Men Who Stare at Goats is a flimsy excuse. I really just wanted to write about surreal dance numbers in otherwise straightforward movies, because that can be so much fun. Last year's Adam Sandler vehicle Bedtime Stories was an annoying dud ... except for one glorious, shining moment where Guy Pearce launched into a song-and-dance number. Sometimes these dance moments are the best part of a movie, sometimes they spoil the mood and sometimes they're just one more weird aspect of an altogether bizarre film. Here are seven of my favorites.

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]]>Cinematicalclerks 2clerks IIClerks2ClerksIidancefilmmoviepulp fictionPulpFictionRisky BusinessRiskyBusinessRomy and Micheles High School ReunionRomyAndMichelesHighSchoolReunionsouthland talesSouthlandTalestank girlTankGirlthe big lebowskiTheBigLebowskiTropic ThunderTropicThunderJette KernionThu, 05 Nov 2009 22:32:00 ESTCinematical Seven: '80s Military Recruitment Movieshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

'Private Benjamin'

We live in a time when war movies based on toys (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) are better received by the public than those that have a basis in truth (The Hurt Locker). G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, out on DVD and Blu-ray today, dances around its origins as military action figures by positioning its heroes as an elite unit, more like well-armed spies than anything resembling common soldiers. The aim appears to be similar, though: provide heroic figures that inspire others to follow in their footsteps.

Back in the 80s, movies that could be mistaken for recruitment propaganda became surprisingly common. The film industry, which had firmly resisted anything related directly to the Vietnam War while it was being waged, became schizophrenic in the 80s, releasing anti-war and pro-war flicks side by side into theaters. Here are seven key films, listed chronologically, that helped shape the public's perception of the military during that decade.

Private Benjamin (1980)
Nancy Meyers began here, co-writing and co-producing the tale of Judy Benjamin (Goldie Hawn), a bride who wears black after her husband (Albert Brooks) dies on their wedding night. A spoiled woman-child, Judy enlists in the armed forces; basic training toughens her up as she realizes she can deal with the rigors of military life. As a budding feminist, she still had miles to go to learn that she didn't need a man or the military to be all she could be; as a poster child for plucky women in the armed forces, Private Benjamin was a positive-reinforcement milestone.

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]]>80s movies80sMoviesan officer and a gentlemanAnOfficerAndAGentlemanheartbreak ridgeHeartbreakRidgemilitary recruitment moviesMilitaryRecruitmentMoviesprivate benjaminPrivateBenjaminrambo first blood iiRamboFirstBloodIired dawnRedDawnstripestop gunTopGunPeter MartinTue, 03 Nov 2009 22:02:00 ESTCinematical Sevens: Villains That Should Have Been Used Morehttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/cinematical-sevens-villains-that-should-have-been-used-more/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/cinematical-sevens-villains-that-should-have-been-used-more/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/cinematical-sevens-villains-that-should-have-been-used-more/#commentsFiled under:



Let's face it, your the hero of your movie is only as good as your villain is bad. If you've got an amazing, swashbuckling, ass-kicking hero who faces off against someone wimpy, it just feels like you had an amazing appetizer and a lackluster main course. We want villains that we love to hate, not villains that we hate to love, and once we find them, we don't want to let go of them so easily. Just look at how much Darth Vader has dominated the world of villainy. He was in four of the six Star Wars movies, and is still pretty much the poster-boy for awesome villains.

But what about the villains who could have joined him? There's a whole slew of sub-villains who weren't given enough screen time, or were killed off too easily. Villains who deserve to roam the hallowed halls of the bad guys and girls club. We dedicate this Cinematical Seven to those who could have been great, but are instead relegated to the ranks of the Almost Perfect Villains Club.

Darth Maul

Speaking of Star Wars, Did this guy get a bad rap or what? He a Dark Lord of the Sith for pete's sake, yet he hardly talks, zips around on a scooter, and gets killed at the end of the only movie he appears in. He does kill Obi Wan's mentor, sure, but why not keep him around for later? He looked scary and cool at the same time, and wielded very cool double-ended saber. Plus, Ray Park did a kickass job playing him and making those fight scenes look amazing. Unfortunately, one chop to the midsection and he was never heard from again. Darth Vader went on to become a legend, but Darth Maul only became "that guy with the red face and the horns," and no one is rushing to make a movie about his origins. The Star Wars saga actually has a plethora of great villains we would like to see more of: Jabba the Hutt, Grand Moff Tarkin, Boba Fett, IG-88, and more.

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]]>BambiCinematical SevenCinematicalSevenRaiders of the Lost ArkRaidersOfTheLostArkStar WarsStarWarsThe Bride of FrankensteinThe Fifth ElementThe Wizard of OzTheBrideOfFrankensteinTheFifthElementTheWizardOfOzvillains09Kevin KellyThu, 29 Oct 2009 22:03:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Good Actors in Bad Horrorhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Jon Voight in 'Anaconda'

I'm sure Peter Sarsgaard didn't intend to make a horror movie that would provoke gales of unintentional laughter. Yet in a key, emotionally-wrought scene near the end of Orphan -- out on DVD today and, perversely enough, worth a rental -- that's exactly what happens; by that point, the film's determination to take itself way too seriously has worn down the viewer, and its lunatic premise collapses upon itself. Sarsgaard bravely goes down with the ship, as does Vera Farmiga, two talented actors that were better than their material.

How do good actors end up in bad movies? The same way some of us end up in jobs we hate: (1) It sounded better than it turned out; (2) Gotta pay the bills. Sometimes they liven up the movie (The Devil's Advocate wouldn't be nearly as much fun without Al Pacino's self-parodying scenery-chewing) and sometimes they look befuddled that they ended up in such a turkey (Robert Downey, Jr. in Gothika, Zooey Deschanel in The Happening). We salute those who gave it their best shot, and ask the rest: what were you thinking?

1. Jon Voight in Anaconda
Intentionally cheesy or merely undone by cheap CGI? This tale of a film crew seeking to document a mysterious tribe of Amazonian natives is a rather tepid and poorly-executed horror adventure until Voight lends it a jolt of electricity as a jungle guide with an accent that's never been heard before. While decent actors like Eric Stoltz and Owen Wilson look like they're ready to cash their paychecks and go home, the Academy Award-winning Voight nearly saves the picture with his larger-than-life theatrics. That's entertainment!

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]]>anacondabad horror moviesBadHorrorMoviesdreamcatcherexorcist ii the hereticExorcistIiTheHereticgodsendgood actors in bad moviesGoodActorsInBadMoviesthe swarmthe thing with two headsthe wicker manTheSwarmTheThingWithTwoHeadsTheWickerManPeter MartinTue, 27 Oct 2009 23:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Best Villain-Hero Romanceshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,


We love it when our heroes fall for the suspicious types: the wolves in sheep's clothing, the dangerous femme fatales. It happens often in film noir and a heckuva lot in comics, and provides some of the best last-act twists and turns as our hearts palpitate along with those of our protagonists... up until the bitter end. Can't that evil love interest turn out to have a heart of gold, so we can all have a happily ever after? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time, no.

What is it about these doomed romances that we love so much? Perhaps it's the futility of it all; you can't have your cake and eat it when you're a superhero or a (wo)man on a mission to right wrongs, even if you'd rather be kissing that beguiling bad guy than fighting them, arresting them, or foiling their evil plans. Turning down a chance at love is the ultimate sacrifice for a hero or heroine to make -- it proves their commitment to the side of good. Hence, loving a villain makes a hero even more heroic. How tragic!

In what will surely spur controversy, I've whittled my favorite villain-hero romances down to the seven best pairings in cinema. No, Phantom of the Opera didn't make it. That would have been too easy. Instead, find odd couples, would-be perfect pairs, star-crossed lovers, and yes, the world's most legendary bromance after the jump.

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]]>Basic InstinctBasicInstinctBatmanBatman ReturnsBatmanReturnsbromanceCatwomanD.E.B.S.heroesindiana jones and the last crusadeKill BillKillBillmaltese falconMalteseFalconPoint BreakPointBreakromanceVillain-Hero RomanceVillain-heroRomancevillainsvillains09Jen YamatoMon, 26 Oct 2009 22:25:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Biopics Worthy of Their Subjecthttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/#commentsFiled under: , ,



As the film prepares to take flight tomorrow, reviews are starting to pour in for Hilary Swank's Amelia. It's quite the mixed bag, from Roger Ebert's praise to Keith Uhlich's description of the film as a "colorfully hollow biopic about America's beloved aviatrix." Should more chime in with Ebert's positivity, the film could get decent buzz, but as it stands while writing this on Thursday afternoon, out of 13 reviews, it's got a paltry 23% fresh rating.

The negative sentiments aren't really a surprise. The early pictures of the film weren't exactly promising, and the trailer induced skeptical responses. But rather than rant about dreams of Amelia Earhart getting one of those biopics that mesmerizes from the get-go, I'm going to try and stay positive. Not every biopic has to struggle to find footing. In fact, some manage to capture the magic of their subject and make for a damn fine film.

Catch seven of my favorites after the jump, and since such a small number can't begin to cover them all, please weigh in with your own in the comments.

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]]>AgorabiopicsBoys Dont CryBoysDontCryCinematicalHenry and JuneHenryAndJuneImmortal BelovedImmortalBelovedLawrence of ArabiaLawrenceOfArabiaRaging BullRagingBullThe Elephant ManTheElephantManMonika BartyzelThu, 22 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Great Horror Themeshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/cinematical-seven-great-horror-themes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/cinematical-seven-great-horror-themes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/cinematical-seven-great-horror-themes/#commentsFiled under: , ,


This month is all about villains on Cinematical, and thankfully, October seems flush with folks who fit the bill: horror movies, often released in anticipation (if not exploitation) of Halloween, usually offer at least one person, creature or entity that qualifies as an adversary to be fled from or feared. But the sad truth is that not a whole lot of them have particularly great theme music, which brings us to this week's Cinematical Seven.

To be fair, these folks don't often have the luxury of choosing said music themselves, so if they get a crappy rock song or some kind of dumbass lullabye, it's not their fault. But after revisiting a number of classic horror series and the movie monsters they immortalized, we've put together what we think is a pretty good collection of themes that folks can and will still find scary. (And while some of this music may or may not be specifically associated with the individual character or creature, the guideline to which we held ourselves was the association of the music with that particular monster.)

Suffice it to say there are a number of other great horror movie themes, and we're just scratching the surface with a list of seven, but check our list of some of the most famous, memorable, and yeah, terrifying, with or without some dude in a mask bearing down on the bathroom door where you've found temporary safe haven.

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]]>bernard herrmannBernardHerrmannfriday the 13thFridayThe13thhalloweenjawsjerry goldsmithJerryGoldsmithjohn carpenterjohn williamsJohnCarpenterJohnWilliamskrzysztof komedaKrzysztofKomedamia farrowMiaFarrowmike oldfieldMikeOldfieldpoltergeistpsychoroman polanskiRomanPolanskirosemarys babyRosemarysBabythe exorcistTheExorcistTodd GilchristTue, 20 Oct 2009 22:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: The Smartest Unlawful Citizenshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/#commentsFiled under: , ,


This Friday is all about wild things at the multiplex. Some are furry and lovable, and explore the emotions of childhood. Others are law abiding citizens, blowing up Philadelphia and showing off their follow-me-lines for no plotworthy reason. I decided to honor the latter with my Cinematical Seven, because Law Abiding Citizen marks Gerard Butler's big producing debut, and any film that requires he abandon trousers is worthy of celebration.

Law Abiding Citizen centers on Clyde Shelton, who loses his family in a grisly slaying and decides to exact his own justice in true Charles Bronson style. But whereas Bronson just needed to speak softly and carry a big gun, Shelton decides to exact his revenge from behind bars. So, in honor of his crazy-eyed and pantless plotting, I've decided to list seven inmates who could have inspired Clyde Shelton's reign of terror. These lawful and unlawful citizens all manage to hatch impressive plans while locked up in the slammer. Some of them are just sick of prison food and trying to get out, while others have more sinister goals in mind. Regardless of their guilt or innocence, we often find ourselves rooting for them to dodge their stripes, and thwart the system.

Head below the jump for the seven!


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]]>cinematical 7cinematical sevenCinematical7CinematicalSevencool hand lukeCoolHandLukeCopycatEscape From AlcatrazEscapeFromAlcatrazGerard ButlerGerardButlerLaw Abiding CitizenLawAbidingCitizenThe Count of Monte Cristothe shawshank redemptionThe Silence of the LambsTheCountOfMonteCristoTheShawshankRedemptionTheSilenceOfTheLambsx2: x-men unitedX2:X-menUnitedElisabeth RappeThu, 15 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Bai Ling's Favorite Bai Ling Love Sceneshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


Chinese-American actress Bai Ling had her breakout role in 1997's Red Corner, a courtroom drama in which she defended Richard Gere from a corrupt government trial - romancing him, naturally, along the way. But since then, Ling has played a streak of bad girls and scantily-clad seductresses that put her equally-sensual public persona front and center, in films ranging from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow to this year's Crank: High Voltage. Even in her latest film, the independent drama A Beautiful Life, Ling plays a stripper - albeit one with a heart of gold.

Some might argue that her career choices lean toward female objectification, and they wouldn't be wrong. But there's something wholly empowered about the way Bai Ling tackles her film roles. Sure, she's played her fair share of strippers, prostitutes, and femme fatales, but does it matter if she totally owns and embraces those characters more given in to their carnal impulses?

After the jump, Bai Ling names her favorite Bai Ling love scenes of all time.

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]]>Bai LingJen YamatoWed, 14 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Directorial Double Whammieshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/13/cinematical-seven-directorial-double-whammies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/13/cinematical-seven-directorial-double-whammies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/13/cinematical-seven-directorial-double-whammies/#commentsFiled under:



Reading about movies, you hear stories of some films shot in five days and other films shot over three years. Some of the poverty-row directors and B-movie makers cranked out as many movies as they could during a calendar year, while filmmakers like Charlie Chaplin and Stanley Kubrick waited years between projects (making each release a new "event"). Most filmmakers, I think, given the chance would probably release one film per year, keeping their toes in without burning out. But sometimes, whether it's a trick of the calendar, or some peculiar rhythms of timing, some of the greatest directors manage to release two films per year. And even less often, both of these films turn out great. The following is my not-exactly-extensive, but enthusiastic celebration of the one-two punch or the director's double-whammy.

1. Jacques Tourneur: I Walked with a Zombie and The Leopard Man (1943)
The world has frankly been a better place to live since Warner Home Video released the five-disc, nine-film DVD "Val Lewton Horror Collection" box set in 2005. I have often promised myself that, if ever en route to a desert island, it would be the first thing I'd grab (provided that said island came with its own entertainment system). Four directors worked on those nine great horror films (counting poor Gunther von Fritsch, a footnote in film history for being too slow, getting fired from The Curse of the Cat People, and thus launching Robert Wise's career). But Jacques Tourneur -- son of silent era filmmaker Maurice Tourneur -- is undoubtedly the most talented of the group. He started the cycle with the extraordinary Cat People in 1942, and followed it with this one-two punch in April and May of the following year. Sure, they're cheap, quickly-made B-movies, but few films have ever been made -- in any genre, for any price -- with so much textured atmosphere and such a resounding sense of dreamy dread.

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]]>clint eastwoodClintEastwoodDavid CronenbergDavidCronenbergdon siegelDonSiegeljacques tourneurJacquesTourneurjohn fordJohnFordorson wellesOrsonWellespreston sturgesPrestonSturgesJeffrey M. AndersonTue, 13 Oct 2009 22:15:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Therapists and Their Nutty Patientshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/08/cinematical-seven-therapists-and-their-nutty-patients/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/08/cinematical-seven-therapists-and-their-nutty-patients/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/08/cinematical-seven-therapists-and-their-nutty-patients/#commentsFiled under: , ,




An IMDB search for "therapy" as a plot device in movies will turn up hundreds of titles -- the Woody Allen catalog alone would take weeks to wade through. For some reason, psychological counseling is a well that screenwriters never tire of dipping into, with wildly mixed results. This week's addition to the oeuvre is the Jon Favreau penned Couples Retreat, in which he, Vince Vaughn and their wives take part in a week's vacation that involves time on the couch ... because nothing's funnier than watching bitter, middle-aged people kvetch about how much sex they're not having anymore.

The arguable quality of Couple's Retreat aside, therapy is, when done well, a potentially fascinating hook on which to hang a plot. From asylum-based films like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Girl, Interrupted to stories about the unhinged like What About Bob? and Don Juan DeMarco, there's a daunting list of movies that take on the releationship between patient and shrink. The following are merely a drop in that vast bucket.

Agnes of God (1985)
Jane Fonda is the court-appointed psychiatrist sent to a convent to investigate the case of a young novitiate (Meg Tilly, seen above) who appears to have murdered a newborn baby. Based on the successful stage play, Agnes of God is either, depending on who you ask, a provocative look at the battle between faith and reason, or a turgid melodrama that coasts on its sensational premise. Either way, the performances -- which include Anne Bancroft as the Mother Superior, who believes Agnes to be "touched by God" -- are powerful.

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]]>AgnesOfGodDressedToKillmumfordthebroodthepresidentsanalystthesevenpercentsolutionThreeFacesOfEveDawn TaylorThu, 08 Oct 2009 22:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Cinema's Most Villainous Familieshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/06/cinematical-seven-cinemas-most-villainous-families/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/06/cinematical-seven-cinemas-most-villainous-families/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/06/cinematical-seven-cinemas-most-villainous-families/#commentsFiled under: , , ,



Scientists and psychologists have long debated the nature vs. nurture theory. Are we the way we are because of our genes, our IQ, our parents, the toxins in our tap water? Certainly, some diseases like cancer, diabetes, alcoholism, and depression can be passed on genetically, but it's up for grabs how much environment plays into fully developing something that was lurking in one's gene pool.

But really, all that BS doesn't matter in the end when it comes to these families who share an interest in human flesh, chainsaws, torture, rape, and occasionally each other, if you know what I mean. All that matters is getting the hell away from them as fast as you can.

It's really hard to say which of these disgusting groups of related and/or inbred freaks is the worst, so this is in no particular order. Enjoy!

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]]>frontiershouse of 1000 corpsesHouseOf1000Corpsessheitanthe broodThe Hills Have Eyesthe texas chainsaw massacreTheBroodTheHillsHaveEyesTheTexasChainsawMassacrevillains09Jenni MillerTue, 06 Oct 2009 22:03:00 EST