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While the past week may have been a little slow for celebrity news and gossip, it was a fabulous week for bizarre photos. This should be good news for those who follow the world of crazy celebrity fashion and expected a lull between the Golden Globes and the Academy Awards. Admittedly, the SAG awards definitely helped. Jeffrey Sebelia provided us with a rundown of the SAG fashion trends, but mere words cannot do justice to some of these outfits.

The following roundup of last week's movie-celebrity gossip items includes some truly hair-raising photos ... and at least one that you don't want to view from the office, so be careful.

This week's celebrity news highlights include one car accident and a number of fashion accidents. Is there some phase of the lunar cycle that causes the rich and famous to dress in even more bizarre ways than usual? Is it some sort of astrological incident: when Saturn is retrograde, "upskirt" incidents increase? Perhaps some sort of scientific study could be commissioned, with special examination of Hollywood awards ceremonies. In the meantime, here's the roundup on movie-related gossip from the past week.

• Nicole Kidman was involved in a car crash Wednesday evening during the filming of the movie The Invasion, in which she'll star with Jeremy Northam and Daniel Craig. Kidman was taken to a hospital but no serious injuries have been reported.
  
• I refuse to believe that these rumors about George Clooney dating Pamela Anderson. In fact, I will now pretend I never even heard anything about this.

It's certainly a big week for celebrity relationship news -- break-ups, new loves, marriage, babies -- fortunately not all from the same person. (Well, we are talking about Hollywood; it could all have been the same person, or at least two people.) Let's just jump right in and see who's been doing what, and with whom:

• Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake announced their break-up this week. Meanwhile, Diaz was spotted at a Courteney Cox look-alike contest the People's Choice Awards in a truly dreadful dress. Break-ups can do terrible things to your dress sense.
• Hilary Swank is apparently over her break-up with Chad Lowe last year. The actress announced to In Style magazine that she is currently seeing someone new -- John Campisi, her agent.
  

I don't want to talk about Britney Spears this week. Personally, I've read more than enough news about her, and she barely qualifies as a film-related personality, anyway. I don't want to deal with Anna Nicole Smith either, at least until her daughter's paternity test comes back ... and even then, I'm on overload. And Rosie O'Donnell? I'm trying to ignore that whole thing with Donald Trump, which doesn't even make sense.

Unfortunately, it's a slow gossip week without the above-named celebrities. I realized at some point that if I am reporting items on Mary-Kate Olsen's boots and Charlton Heston's neighbors, it is definitely not a red-letter gossip week. I couldn't even find any George Clooney or Johnny Depp photo opportunities. However, at least I know I'll entertain the Jessica Alba fans with the last news item on the following list.

Haven't you always wondered if celebrities have more fun at Christmas or other holidays? Does George Clooney have to exclaim with delight when a great-aunt gives him a package of gray socks? Can you imagine Johnny Depp's kids giving him a garish necktie that requires all his powers of acting to look delighted about? Does Britney Spears' mom demand that she go back into the bedroom and not come out again until she's dressed like a proper young lady?

I have to admit that normally I don't wonder about any of these things, because usually at Christmastime I have a number of other things occupying my mind, whether it's worrying about what to give my own grandmother, or looking forward to seeing all the nieces and nephews. Still, I realize there's a certain amount of amusement you can derive from imagining celebrity holiday celebrations. This year, celebrity holiday news includes pregnancy news, divorce, injury, a fire and a little charity. Sounds like a normal holiday to me.

It's that festive holiday time of year, and somehow this makes it difficult for me to focus on the usual types of gossip tidbits as much as I normally might. And you know I am not all that focused to begin with. I stare at a photo of Mel Gibson with food on his shirt, and wonder, "Why should I care about this?" as my mind wanders off to thoughts about whether I need to buy more gift wrap. Besides, I am sometimes a messy eater too, so I can't really pick on Mr. Gibson. And I can't think of anything the least bit cutting to say about director Gus Van Sant being arrested on a DUI charge; I just feel a bit sad. Meanwhile, the gossip world rolls on, at all times of the year, so this week's roundup includes marriage, birth, paternity tests, birthday gifts, and celebrity tattoos.

• It's been a big news week for Britney Spears. Not only did she get a hand tattoo, but was also voted World's Worst Celebrity Dog Owner in an online poll. At least it looks like Santa has brought me my special Christmas present of not ever having to see certain bits of Spears again.
  
• In case you're interested, Defamer provides us with a glimpse of Jake Gyllenhaal's birthday gifts. Or were they gifts for Hanukkah? It's so hard to tell with socks.

It's a slow news week for film-related celebrities. The big gossip item this week was about Nicole Richie's DUI arrest, and I can't count her as a movie actress -- she doesn't even have a House of Wax credit to her name. No one is divorcing, or adopting children from other countries (although Angelina Jolie is thinking about it again), or forgetting to climb into a limo properly while neglecting to wear underpants.

However, I feel lucky because I have been able to indulge my most guilty pleasure when collecting celebrity news: scary photos. For some reason, it seems to be a week when movie stars aren't looking their best. Perhaps it's all that holiday shopping and stress. The bulk of this week's gossip roundup therefore consists of some of the oddest photos I've seen recently. Enjoy!

• Anna Nicole Smith is back in America, after swearing she never wanted to leave the Bahamas. That ought to improve the amount of potential celeb news in upcoming weeks. She appeared in a San Franscisco court this week as part of legal proceedings regarding her late husband's estate.

After all that fuss about Britney Spears and her undergarment choices (or lack thereof) last week, plus the Danny DeVito thing and the Michael Richards thing and whatever other celebrity news I've managed to banish from my head, I feel as though I have a gossip hangover. My eyes glaze over when I read about Andy Dick getting offensive in his stand-up comedy routine and I cannot possibly be persuaded to care. Snoop Dogg's arraignment delayed? Yawn. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes throwing a big reception? Oh, lord, I need some aspirin, Alka-Seltzer, dry toast ...

I suspect I'm not the only one who feels that way right now; the celebrity news sites appear to be a bit thin on news this week, grabbing at straws about George Clooney, who always provides an opportunity for a charming photo and who never flashes anything inappropriate to the general public. Perhaps everyone needs a break from a little too much celebrity exposure. Or maybe we're all trying to get through the holiday season and can't raise much interest in movie stars on the town, filing for divorce, or desperately seeking attention. I can hand you this week's dish, but bear in mind that I'm writing it with a cold compress on my slightly green face, wondering what the best cure would be for a gossip hangover.

Usually on Cinematical, when we talk about "exhibition" we are referring to the business of theaters showing movies. We are not referring to celebrities showing ... things we might prefer not to see. However, the recurring story that is buzzing all over the universe of celebrity gossip has to do with Britney Spears continually going out on the town in short skirts and nothing underneath, and then doing what is becoming known as an "upskirt," which simply means she forgot all those lessons from older female relatives about sitting in a ladylike and modest fashion. I have seen more photos this week with significant bits covered by stars or other graphics, and I prefer not to click on the photos to view what is being hidden. (Gawker simply posts the undoctored photos after the jump, which is something I found out the hard way.) Perhaps she's allergic to certain fabrics?

Rosie O'Donnell actually bought the actress/singer a pair of underwear (which look similar to the pair sported by Jamie Kennedy) and wants to teach Spears "how to wear underwear again." However, I feel that the best and most genteel solution might be intensive etiquette lessons with a strong focus on entering and exiting vehicles properly, even while under the influence of alcohol or Paris Hilton. And -- I can't believe I just wrote two paragraphs about a celebrity's lack of panties. I need to take a shower before I tackle the rest of last week's news highlights. Excuse me for a moment ...