Throughout My Life in Ruins, a couple of characters are frequently reminded that they are not as funny as they think they are. Unfortunately, this also applies to the movie itself. It wants to be a bubbly and occasionally zany comedy with a touch of romance surrounded by gorgeous Greek scenery ... but it often feels flat and forced, and even the landscapes seemed blah. It's being touted as a follow-up to My Big Fat Greek Wedding, with the same lead actress (Nia Vardalos), but it doesn't have the pleasing blend of comedy and family sentiment that made its predecessor a success.

The movie is about a five-day tour of legendary ruins in Greece (thus the title). Georgia (Vardalos), a former history instructor whose stopgap job as a tour guide has extended for years. She hates her job, fusses because she's being assigned "second-class" tourists, and finds fault with everything in Greece that isn't at least 2,000 years old. Various Greeks -- her boss, her bus driver -- tell her that she has lost her kefi, a Greek word meaning joie de vivre or mojo or the ability to not annoy the audience. She just needs to relax and get laid and stop worrying her pretty head about things.

Last year, when I interviewed Kimberly Peirce for Stop-Loss, I asked why a relationship played up between Ryan Phillippe's character and Abbie Cornish's in the trailer seemed absent from the final film, not to mention a confrontation between Phillippe and the senator he's driven cross-country to reach coming to a close over the phone and not in person. She explained that about as soon as they had to start editing the film itself, they had to turn over the footage to the promotional department for them to work with simultaneously, and that things don't always match up as a result.

Now, every once in a while, usually in regard to Apatow's oft-tested and whittled-down comedies, absent jokes and alternate takes come as a little surprise. But the year-old teaser for Terminator Salvation capped itself by showing Christian Bale facing off against a robot hiding underwater -- a scene that should appear early on in the film, but doesn't. In Disney/Pixar's Up, our geriatric hero doesn't blow a raspberry as he departs with his house (perhaps for the best), and in 500 Days of Summer, Joseph Gordon-Levitt does not in fact board a bus filled with Zooey Deschanels (certainly for the worst).

What's the most striking occasion you can think of where a scene regularly flaunted in the trailers or TV spots was nowhere to be seen in theaters, and was clearly part of a scene and not a one-off teaser like Pixar themselves so often indulges in?

Roller derby diehards and grrl-power folks will be pleased to know that Drew Barrymore's directorial debut Whip It! has finally gotten a distributor and a release date: Fox Searchlight will be unleashing it in wide release on October 9th, 2009. Drew Barrymore is also an executive producer; her production company Flower Films is behind the release.

Based on the novel Derby Girl by Shauna Cross, Whip It! is the story of a small-town Texas gal named Bliss Cavendar (Ellen Page) who channels her inner bad-ass with help from a roller derby league in nearby Austin. Cross is also a derby girl from Texas; her not-to-be-messed-with nom de rink is Maggie Mayhem.

Whip It! also stars Drew Barrymore as Smashley Simpson, Juliette Lewis as Dinah Might, Kristen Wiig as Malice in Wonderland, real-life stunt woman Zoe Bell as Bloody Holly, Eve as Rosa Sparks, and many more as derby grrls throwing elbows and jeers on eight wheels. Marcia Gay Harden plays Bliss's prim 'n' proper mom.

Although some people are hard on Ellen Page and her deadpan Juno vibe, I think she will be great as Bliss and frankly, I've missed seeing her face onscreen. I have to admit to skipping Smart People, and I've yet to catch The Tracey Fragments or An American Crime on DVD. (If you've seen either, please chime in! I'm curious about An American Crime, especially given the brutal nature of the story.)

So much girl power! Can audiences handle it? Judging by the screaming hordes of fans I've seen at any roller derby race I've been to, the answer is hell yes.

I'm sure that if Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac Shakur were still alive today, they would have loved to brag over which one got their life story on the big screen first. Tupac wins if you count the doc in 2003, though Notorious made Biggie the first to receive a biopic -- so I'm not sure who wins, exactly. Nevertheless, Tupac's family wants a biopic now and The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed that Shakur's mother, Afeni Shakur, and her production company, Amaru Entertainment, are suing Morgan's Creek Entertainment over their deal for a biopic of the murdered rapper, leaving the hip-hop flick in legal limbo.

There have been rumblings regarding a film for almost a year now, and with the success of the B.I.G. flick, Notorious, it would seem to be the perfect time for Shakur. But Morgan's Creek's deal first started going south when they filed a lawsuit "claiming that Amaru, which controls the Tupac estate, backed out of a done deal to sell life rights for a biopic about the slain rapper-actor." Now Amaru is countersuing, and according to their complaint, "Morgan Creek allegedly was one of several suitors for the project, including Paramount, Fox Searchlight, Kennedy/Marshall and Brett Ratner's Rat Entertainment. The cross-complaint says key details of a deal, including an executive producer credit and backend participation for Afeni Shakur, were not worked out with Morgan's Creek and that she hadn't even seen the proposed contract."

Up until yesterday I was having trouble keeping track of all the movies that were contenders for the worst of 2009, and I couldn't decide which one topped the list. Now my head is clear of such decisions. I've seen Miss March. In the film, high school boy Eugene (Zach Cregger) practices abstinence but reluctantly agrees to sleep with his girlfriend Cindi (Raquel Alessi) on prom night. Before he can seal the deal he falls down some stairs and goes into a coma. When he wakes up four years later, Cindi is the new Playboy Centerfold. So he and his idiot best friend Tucker (Trevor Moore) take a road trip to the Playboy Mansion to find her.

How they're friends is one of the movie's greatest mysteries, aside from, you know, the one about how it ever got made. These two morons react to everything with bug eyes and jaws agape, sometimes comically screaming and sometimes not. Cregger is a self-righteous, hypocrite prig, and Moore does a barrel-scraping Jim Carrey impersonation that comes much closer to Jim Varney; he even makes those old "Strip-O-Rama" comedians look elegant and refined. (These two cretins are the co-creators of a TV show called "The Whitest Kids U Know," which I am proud to say I have not seen.)

I can think of at least three movies in the coming two weeks that feature scenes that are strikingly out of tone with the film they're a respective part of and yet seemingly included as a means of getting people to tell their loved ones how ridiculous Bit X in Movie Y is. And so today's Cinematical Seven list will be an arbitrary, far from ultimate compilation of the most distractingly disgusting and supremely superfluous parts in recent movies. Sure, most of these are comedies, and yes, most of them seem to have been released from the year 2000 on, and as always, we welcome your comments below. Just make sure they're not too gross.

(Speaking of which, NSFW clips follow after the jump.)

What do you do when you need a pretty actress with limited facial expressions? Well, if Nicole Kidman is busy, I guess you call Keira Knightley (only kidding ... well, maybe not completely kidding). Believe me when I tell you I have nothing personal against the girl, but darn it if I can detect a facial movement in most of her performances other than the example provided to the right. But Knightley's 'reserved' approach to emotion might come in handy now that Variety has announced that the perpetually pouty Ms. Knightley will star as a clone alongside Carey Mulligan in Never Let Me Go, a romantic sci-fi thriller based on the acclaimed novel by Kazuo Ishiguro.

The story centers on three friends who grow up together in a posh boarding school; unfortunately for them, however, this charmed life is a short one and the three learn the disturbing truth that they have been bred for organ donation. Don't worry if this sounds an awful lot like the 2005 stinker, The Island, because unlike Bay's exploration of 'happy organs' and Xbox competitions, Ishiguro's story is much more concerned with existentialism and the meaning of humanity (not exactly Bay country).

Mark Romanek is on board to direct the adaptation, and Alex Garland (28 Days Later) is already at work on a script. Romanek made his name making music videos (even though he didn't make the cut for Monika's list) but has directed only one other feature film: the slightly underwhelming One Hour Photo. But the pressure is on, because unlike The Island, if this flick is a flop we won't be able to blame Michael Bay.

Current Academy Award nominee and perpetual comeback kid Mickey Rourke was humbled the other day by professional wrestler Chris Jericho, who both praised and knocked Rourke's (awesome) performance in The Wrestler before challenging Rourke to some sort of match, while on Larry King Live.

Coming three days after Rourke's claim at the SAG Awards ceremony that he'd be taking part in April's Wrestlemania match (and called out Jericho in particular, it seems), I'd say that it falls right in line -- except that Rourke only sits there and offers up gratitude while Jericho gets increasingly badgering in his confrontation, in a manner that seemed scripted more and more with each passing moment (did anyone else catch exactly why Jericho threw out the word "offended" after deeming his performance "immaculate"?).

It just goes to show you that maybe not all fights captured on video are necessarily worth clicking on. Maybe it's just for the attention. Maybe it's an argument best left to those individuals. Maybe you had good reason for watching that video -- maybe you even heartily agree with one side over the other -- or maybe you were just curious. Sometimes, though, these videos are best left unwatched... a rule that doesn't, however, apply to the movie at hand. (Seriously, see it if you can, folks.)

Note: Rourke's publicist has since come forward to say that he won't be participating in Wrestlemania, and instead will be "focusing entirely on his acting career." Um, what's the difference? [via Defamer]

Okay, while I'm totally interested in showing you a little more of the Sundance hit 500 Days of Summer, I have to admit that this post is dedicated to one person and one person only: Cinematical's Managing Editor, Mr. Scott Weinberg. Long story short: Throughout the festival, us dudes (and dudettes) would from time to time throw around our favorite lines from the films screening in Park City. My favorite line comes from the film World's Greatest Dad, and it's unfortunately a little too filthy to repeat here. However, Weinberg's favorite line ... well, let's just say that when this clip from 500 Days of Summer popped up over on Collider, I simply had to post it for him.

Here's the set up: Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character works with Zooey Deschanel's character, and they've just started to get to know each other a little better around the office. Weinberg's favorite line is spoken by Deschanel and it's the last thing you'll hear in this clip. Oh 500 Days of Summer ... how I cannot wait to watch you again in theaters on July 24th.

(Warning: This one goes up to eleven...)

1. Moon -- Most were admittedly intrigued by the prospect of Sam Rockwell alone and yet potentially not on a lunar station going into the fest, and this seemed to be the first film to live up to its promise as a modest yet straight-up sci-fi endeavor (that just happened to have a Kevin Spacey-voiced robot, and just tell me you wouldn't want one of those waking you up and telling you to pay it forward all the friggin' time).

2. 500 Days of Summer -- I'd liked the vague stuff I'd been hearing about this one going into the fest as well -- namely, "Zooey Deschanel, Zooey Deschanel, Zooey Deschanel" -- and I certainly liked the teaser trailer that made its way out just hours before the film's formal premiere. Does it look like Fox Searchlight's particular brand of indie hipster quirk that's just begging to get too popular for its own good by about Labor Day? Sure, but if it's as adorable as it seems, that's a chance I'm willing to take, Zooey.