Cinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.comCinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.com/media/feedlogo.gifCinematicalhttp://www.cinematical.comen-usCopyright 2009 Weblogs, Inc. The contents of this feed are available for non-commercial use only.Blogsmith http://www.blogsmith.com/Cinematical Seven: Silliest Disaster Scenarioshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/silliest-disaster-scenarios/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,



We both know that I could probably fill all seven slots of this list with just scenes from Roland Emmerich's disaster-tastic 2012, but in the interests of letting everyone else get a chance to see it, let's stick with films that have already come and gone. Some of these titles qualify because of the uniquely ridiculous nature of their disasters, while others count for what ridiculous plots unfold amidst otherwise ordinarily perilous acts of nature.

There will be a couple of spoilers to go along with our picks, but since most of these have been out for a couple of years, it's not like it's the end of the world...

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]]>2012christian slaterChristianSlatercinematical sevenCinematicalSevendisaster moviedisaster moviesDisasterMovieDisasterMoviesfirestormhard rainHardRainhilary swankHilarySwankhowie longHowieLongjake gyllenhaalJakeGyllenhaalknowingm night shyamalanmark wahlbergMarkWahlbergMNightShyamalanmorgan freemanMorganFreemannicolas cageNicolasCageroland emmerichRolandEmmerichsnakes on a planeSnakesOnAPlanethe corethe day after tomorrowthe happeningTheCoreTheDayAfterTomorrowTheHappeningwilliam forsytheWilliamForsytheWilliam GossThu, 12 Nov 2009 22:15:00 ESTFive Radio Flicks That Rocked the Big Screenhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/best-radio-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/best-radio-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/12/best-radio-movies/#commentsFiled under: , ,

I've always been drawn to radio on the big screen. It seems antithetical -- a sound format being so perfect for a medium full of sound and imagery. Video killed the radio star ... right? Nevertheless, radio leads to wonderfully aural expression that gives film that extra little something, whether that be the perfectly pitched voice of a radio DJ delighting in word play or the perfectly placed song that evokes any number of emotions. Word play and great music -- they've always been my weakness.

Therefore, naturally, I'm all sorts of excited for this week's cinematic slate, which not only includes disasters, tough women, and fantastic foxes, but also a little flick called Pirate Radio. This ensemble comedy has been a long time coming. In fact, it's been almost a year since we first got to see a trailer for the film that not only features a cast including Nick Frost and Bill Nighy, but also marks the return of Philip Seymour Hoffman to the retro radio seat. Oh yes, Lester Bangs is back, only this time he calls himself The Count.

To get you in the mood for true pirate radio living on a tried and true ship, check out five great on-screen radio moments after the jump. (Warning: Some are NSFW.)

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]]>Almost FamousAlmostFamousCinematicalfeaturedGood MorningGoodMorningPirate RadioPirateRadioPump Up the VolumePumpUpTheVolumeradio filmsRadioFilmsTalk RadioTalk to MeTalkRadioTalkToMeVietnamMonika BartyzelThu, 12 Nov 2009 17:15:00 ESTTop 10 Annoyingly Ambiguous Movie Endingshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/top-10-ambiguous-movie-endings/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/top-10-ambiguous-movie-endings/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/top-10-ambiguous-movie-endings/#commentsFiled under: ,

No Country for Old Men

Yesterday, we posted a very funny video from College Humor that resolved some classic ambiguous endings in film: The Graduate, Lost in Translation, and so forth. But it reminded me that sometimes these vague endings can be truly irritating and frustrating. I hate sitting through what is shaping up into a good movie experience, then the end negates the whole film, makes no sense, or just plain ends without warning or closure.

Sometimes these ambiguous endings are great: I felt the ending of The Wrestler was just right, and I also liked the way the recently released A Serious Man concluded. Sometimes these unresolved endings are meant to pave the way for a sequel, which is great if you happen to have the sequel there with you, but when it's a new movie, you just want to throttle the filmmakers. Here are 10 movies with endings that make me want to throw a popcorn box at the screen, or find the filmmakers and demand an explanation. It goes without saying that I'm about to spoil the endings of 10 films, so you've been warned.

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]]>CinematicalEndingendingsfilmmovieJette KernionWed, 11 Nov 2009 23:02:00 ESTQuick List: Five Favorite Ice-Bound Movie Momentshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/best-ice-bound-movie-moments/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/best-ice-bound-movie-moments/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/11/best-ice-bound-movie-moments/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


I typically end up missing out on most kid films during their theatrical runs (there just isn't enough time to catch all the G-Forces of the world), but I recently caught up with the money-making monster that is Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs from the comfort of my own couch. Between watching baby dinosaurs swallow other baby Ice Age critters and thinking about winter's approach, my mind soon drifted towards some of my favorite ice-set moments in film.

I don't know what it is, but having nice, frozen centerpieces in a flick always lure me in. Though I do have my limits, as you won't be finding any of the brain pain that is 10,000 BC on here. Note, these are in no order of importance.

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]]>Artificial IntelligenceArtificialIntelligenceEmpire Strikes BackEmpireStrikesBackfeaturedice set moviesIceSetMoviesStar Wars: episode vStarWars:EpisodeVSuperman ReturnsSupermanReturnsThe Day After TomorrowThe ThingTheDayAfterTomorrowTheThingPeter HallWed, 11 Nov 2009 12:02:00 ESTQuick List: Five Of The Scariest Stareshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/09/quick-list-five-of-the-scariest-stares/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/09/quick-list-five-of-the-scariest-stares/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/09/quick-list-five-of-the-scariest-stares/#commentsFiled under: ,


I had every intention of seeing The Men Who Stare At Goats this weekend, but time gets away when you're doing laundry and scrubbing dogs. So I turned to Netflix and decided to do a double feature of Aguirre: The Wrath of God and Cobra Verde. Yeah, I'm not sure why I do these things to myself either.

But the intense eyes of Werner Herzog's best fiend inspired a little list of the actors and actresses who inspire you to shift in your seat with just a single gaze. The list is long and extremely difficult to narrow down to just five, and is unfairly biased towards the menfolk. While a very honorable mention goes to Clint Eastwood's squint, in the interest of variety and equality I decided to honor five others that were equally as terrifying. I hope you dig deep into your fears, and offer up your own picks of a stare that might not be able to kill goats, but that you don't ever want staring into your soul ... or at least across your work desk. (It is Monday after all, and what would your employers do if they caught you having fun with us instead of filing those TPS Reports?)

Head below the jump for the quick list ....

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]]>Christopher WalkenChristopherWalkenclint eastwoodClintEastwoodfeaturedjack nicholsonJackNicholsonKlaus KinskiKlausKinskiRalph FiennesRalphFiennesscary staresScaryStaressigourney weaverSigourneyWeaverElisabeth RappeMon, 09 Nov 2009 12:03:00 ESTCinematical Seven: '80s Military Recruitment Movieshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/03/cinematical-seven-80s-military-recruitment-movies/#commentsFiled under: , , ,

'Private Benjamin'

We live in a time when war movies based on toys (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra) are better received by the public than those that have a basis in truth (The Hurt Locker). G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, out on DVD and Blu-ray today, dances around its origins as military action figures by positioning its heroes as an elite unit, more like well-armed spies than anything resembling common soldiers. The aim appears to be similar, though: provide heroic figures that inspire others to follow in their footsteps.

Back in the 80s, movies that could be mistaken for recruitment propaganda became surprisingly common. The film industry, which had firmly resisted anything related directly to the Vietnam War while it was being waged, became schizophrenic in the 80s, releasing anti-war and pro-war flicks side by side into theaters. Here are seven key films, listed chronologically, that helped shape the public's perception of the military during that decade.

Private Benjamin (1980)
Nancy Meyers began here, co-writing and co-producing the tale of Judy Benjamin (Goldie Hawn), a bride who wears black after her husband (Albert Brooks) dies on their wedding night. A spoiled woman-child, Judy enlists in the armed forces; basic training toughens her up as she realizes she can deal with the rigors of military life. As a budding feminist, she still had miles to go to learn that she didn't need a man or the military to be all she could be; as a poster child for plucky women in the armed forces, Private Benjamin was a positive-reinforcement milestone.

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]]>80s movies80sMoviesan officer and a gentlemanAnOfficerAndAGentlemanheartbreak ridgeHeartbreakRidgemilitary recruitment moviesMilitaryRecruitmentMoviesprivate benjaminPrivateBenjaminrambo first blood iiRamboFirstBloodIired dawnRedDawnstripestop gunTopGunPeter MartinTue, 03 Nov 2009 22:02:00 ESTTop 250 Movies as a Subway Maphttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/02/top-250-movies-as-a-subway-map/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/02/top-250-movies-as-a-subway-map/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/11/02/top-250-movies-as-a-subway-map/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Top 250 Movies as a Subway Map

Here's a different way of thinking about well-known movies: imagine each one is a stop on a subway line! Designed by David Honnorat and posted at Vodkaster, the cinematic subway map is based on the top 250 movies as voted by IMDb users on June 19 (which, I suppose, is why The Hangover made it). Honnorat created 16 different imaginary subway lines, including "Universally Acclaimed Masterpiece," "Political drama," "Drama about tolerance," "Dark and weird drama," and other, more traditional categories, and then placed each film on one of the lines. He asked: "How would you go from Alien to North by Northwest without crossing The Godfather: Part II? Which station have you not visited yet?"

The placement of movies on the map can be amusing (Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction side by side with Sergio Leone's Once Upon a Time in America on the gangster line) as well as bizarre yet strangely fitting (Se7en sitting at the intersection of Vertigo, Rashomon, Nosferatu, and Let the Right One In). Click through to see the big map and roll around a bit. Like all subway maps, it's confusing at first but starts to make more sense as you follow the lines from station to station. What's your favorite cinematic subway line?

[ via Geek Tyrant ]

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]]>let the right one inLetTheRightOneInmovie imagesMovieImagesnosferatuonce upon a time in americaOnceUponATimeInAmericapulp fictionPulpFictionrashomonse7enthe hangoverTheHangovertop movies as subway mapTopMoviesAsSubwayMapvertigoPeter MartinMon, 02 Nov 2009 16:45:00 ESTQuick List: 5 Movies That Scare The Bejesus Out of Mehttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/30/quick-list-5-movies-that-scare-the-bejesus-out-of-me/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/30/quick-list-5-movies-that-scare-the-bejesus-out-of-me/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/30/quick-list-5-movies-that-scare-the-bejesus-out-of-me/#commentsFiled under: , , ,



Well, it's just about 'All Hallows Eve' and if you're anything like me, then you have already depleted your candy supply and you've been watching as many horror movies as you can get your hands on. And as I've watched everything from The Wolf Man to 13 Ghosts I've been thinking how few movies actually scare me -- the rise of torture porn was nauseating, sure, but scary? Not really. Over at Den of Geek they've compiled a list of movies that scare them and it has inspired me to think about what flicks have given me the honest to goodness heebie-jeebies over the years.

Usually when I watch horror, it's with an eye for comedy and usually the lamer the film, the better. But occasionally there's a film that actually does what it's supposed to: scare the crap out of me. But as much as I tried to find a common denominator for what scares me on the big screen, I came up empty. In fact, there's never really any way to tell just what is going to hit the right buttons when it comes to horror, but I guess that's what makes it so much fun.

After the jump: 5 movies that guarantee me a 'bad night's sleep'...

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]]>Alexandre AjaAlexandreAjaDavid FincherDavidFincherListThe Hills Have Eyesthe shiningthe texas chainsaw massacreTheHillsHaveEyesTheShiningTheTexasChainsawMassacretobe hooperTobeHoopertwilight zone: the movieTwilightZone:TheMovieWes CravenWesCravenZodiacJessica BarnesFri, 30 Oct 2009 17:32:00 ESTAre These The Ten Greatest Villain Costumes in Sci-Fi Movie History?http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/are-these-the-ten-greatest-villain-costumes-in-sci-fi-movie-hist/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/are-these-the-ten-greatest-villain-costumes-in-sci-fi-movie-hist/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/29/are-these-the-ten-greatest-villain-costumes-in-sci-fi-movie-hist/#commentsFiled under: , ,



When I closed my eyes and pictured the greatest villain costumes in sci-fi movies, I was surprised how often hair -- and headpieces -- come into play. That makes sense for those of us who are not costume purists because we're thinking of the character as a whole, and in movies we're very often looking at close-ups of villains. We want to get up close and personal, to study the sneer, to examine the evil eyes, to absorb the dismissive scowl, to observe the raised eyebrows.

Isn't it the whole package that sells a character as a villain? The actor makes all the difference in the world, no matter if he's buried under a ton of makeup or becomes nearly unrecognizable, but the costume plays an important role. In honor of all those who will sally forth this weekend in costumes that are good, bad, and ugly, we salute the designers of the top ten (plus a couple of bonus selections) greatest villain costumes in sci-fi movies, and the actors who wear them.

The Emperor Ming (Flash Gordon)

It takes a truly evil villain to pull off this particular outfit. Arrayed in varying shades of deep red and gold, Ming (the always game Max von Sydow) threatens to steal the show when those eyebrows are raised. Somehow Ming looks both sartorially forward-thinking -- what is that raised cowl doing back there except to frame his bald head -- and ridiculously, gloriously silly.

Read the rest over at SciFi Squad

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]]>battlefield earthBattlefieldEarthduneflash gordonFlashGordongodzillalifeforcepredatorstar trek first contactstar warsStarTrekFirstContactStarWarssuperman iiSupermanIithe day the earth stood stillTheDayTheEarthStoodStilltronx-menPeter MartinThu, 29 Oct 2009 15:15:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Good Actors in Bad Horrorhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/27/cinematical-seven-good-actors-in-bad-horror/#commentsFiled under: , ,

Jon Voight in 'Anaconda'

I'm sure Peter Sarsgaard didn't intend to make a horror movie that would provoke gales of unintentional laughter. Yet in a key, emotionally-wrought scene near the end of Orphan -- out on DVD today and, perversely enough, worth a rental -- that's exactly what happens; by that point, the film's determination to take itself way too seriously has worn down the viewer, and its lunatic premise collapses upon itself. Sarsgaard bravely goes down with the ship, as does Vera Farmiga, two talented actors that were better than their material.

How do good actors end up in bad movies? The same way some of us end up in jobs we hate: (1) It sounded better than it turned out; (2) Gotta pay the bills. Sometimes they liven up the movie (The Devil's Advocate wouldn't be nearly as much fun without Al Pacino's self-parodying scenery-chewing) and sometimes they look befuddled that they ended up in such a turkey (Robert Downey, Jr. in Gothika, Zooey Deschanel in The Happening). We salute those who gave it their best shot, and ask the rest: what were you thinking?

1. Jon Voight in Anaconda
Intentionally cheesy or merely undone by cheap CGI? This tale of a film crew seeking to document a mysterious tribe of Amazonian natives is a rather tepid and poorly-executed horror adventure until Voight lends it a jolt of electricity as a jungle guide with an accent that's never been heard before. While decent actors like Eric Stoltz and Owen Wilson look like they're ready to cash their paychecks and go home, the Academy Award-winning Voight nearly saves the picture with his larger-than-life theatrics. That's entertainment!

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]]>anacondabad horror moviesBadHorrorMoviesdreamcatcherexorcist ii the hereticExorcistIiTheHereticgodsendgood actors in bad moviesGoodActorsInBadMoviesthe swarmthe thing with two headsthe wicker manTheSwarmTheThingWithTwoHeadsTheWickerManPeter MartinTue, 27 Oct 2009 23:02:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Best Villain-Hero Romanceshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/26/cinematical-seven-best-villain-hero-romances/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , ,


We love it when our heroes fall for the suspicious types: the wolves in sheep's clothing, the dangerous femme fatales. It happens often in film noir and a heckuva lot in comics, and provides some of the best last-act twists and turns as our hearts palpitate along with those of our protagonists... up until the bitter end. Can't that evil love interest turn out to have a heart of gold, so we can all have a happily ever after? Sometimes, yes. Most of the time, no.

What is it about these doomed romances that we love so much? Perhaps it's the futility of it all; you can't have your cake and eat it when you're a superhero or a (wo)man on a mission to right wrongs, even if you'd rather be kissing that beguiling bad guy than fighting them, arresting them, or foiling their evil plans. Turning down a chance at love is the ultimate sacrifice for a hero or heroine to make -- it proves their commitment to the side of good. Hence, loving a villain makes a hero even more heroic. How tragic!

In what will surely spur controversy, I've whittled my favorite villain-hero romances down to the seven best pairings in cinema. No, Phantom of the Opera didn't make it. That would have been too easy. Instead, find odd couples, would-be perfect pairs, star-crossed lovers, and yes, the world's most legendary bromance after the jump.

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]]>Basic InstinctBasicInstinctBatmanBatman ReturnsBatmanReturnsbromanceCatwomanD.E.B.S.heroesindiana jones and the last crusadeKill BillKillBillmaltese falconMalteseFalconPoint BreakPointBreakromanceVillain-Hero RomanceVillain-heroRomancevillainsvillains09Jen YamatoMon, 26 Oct 2009 22:25:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Biopics Worthy of Their Subjecthttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/22/cinematical-seven-biopics-worthy-of-their-subject/#commentsFiled under: , ,



As the film prepares to take flight tomorrow, reviews are starting to pour in for Hilary Swank's Amelia. It's quite the mixed bag, from Roger Ebert's praise to Keith Uhlich's description of the film as a "colorfully hollow biopic about America's beloved aviatrix." Should more chime in with Ebert's positivity, the film could get decent buzz, but as it stands while writing this on Thursday afternoon, out of 13 reviews, it's got a paltry 23% fresh rating.

The negative sentiments aren't really a surprise. The early pictures of the film weren't exactly promising, and the trailer induced skeptical responses. But rather than rant about dreams of Amelia Earhart getting one of those biopics that mesmerizes from the get-go, I'm going to try and stay positive. Not every biopic has to struggle to find footing. In fact, some manage to capture the magic of their subject and make for a damn fine film.

Catch seven of my favorites after the jump, and since such a small number can't begin to cover them all, please weigh in with your own in the comments.

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]]>AgorabiopicsBoys Dont CryBoysDontCryCinematicalHenry and JuneHenryAndJuneImmortal BelovedImmortalBelovedLawrence of ArabiaLawrenceOfArabiaRaging BullRagingBullThe Elephant ManTheElephantManMonika BartyzelThu, 22 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTThe Five Most Moronic Movie Familieshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/the-five-most-moronic-movie-families/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/the-five-most-moronic-movie-families/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/the-five-most-moronic-movie-families/#commentsFiled under: , ,


Unless you've mercifully been living under a rock, you know the story of Balloon Boy. The world was captivated (and hey, most of us were working while this unfolded, so why not watch a UFO float lazily across the Colorado* sky?) by the idea of a terrified six year old caught in a deadly version of Pixar's UP. But in the end, little Falcon Heene was hiding in a box with some sandwiches, every bit a victim of his family's overwhelming greed for fame and fortune as his homebound audience was.

Analysts and watchdogs are blaming that audience as much as they're blaming the news outlets and the Heenes. While I think it's important to keep the story in the public eye precisely to damn the reality show mindset, I think it's also neccessary to mock the story whenever possible. If there's one way to discourage other famewhores, it's reminding them that the public eye is a fickle and nasty mistress. Since Richard Heene obviously intended this stunt to mirror a movie, we thought we'd honor him by listing five of the dumbest families found on the big screen. If there's one thing that's more embarrassing than being outed and charged with a media hoax, it's realizing John Hughes did it before you. And better.

Go below the jump for the list ...

* Oh and Colorado? As one of your native daughters, I beg you to make the news for something that isn't tragic or embarrassing.

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]]>Arrested DevelopmentArrestedDevelopmentCousin EddieCousinEddieDumb familiestDumbFamiliestfeaturedharry potter and the sorcerers stoneHarryPotterAndTheSorcerersStoneHome AloneHomeAloneMatildamost moronic familiesMostMoronicFamiliesnational lampoons christmas vacationnational lampoons vacationNationalLampoonsChristmasVacationNationalLampoonsVacationThe DursleysThe WormwoodsTheDursleysTheWormwoodsvacationElisabeth RappeWed, 21 Oct 2009 17:18:00 ESTOur Five Favorite Hunk of Junk Spaceshipshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/our-five-favorite-hunk-of-junk-spaceships/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/our-five-favorite-hunk-of-junk-spaceships/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/21/our-five-favorite-hunk-of-junk-spaceships/#commentsFiled under: , ,

By: John Gholson

Their engines whine; their walls creak. These spaceships may look like antiques from the future, but many pack more punch under the hood than they let on. Never judge a book by its cover, and never judge a spaceship by its rust-holes and sputtering warp drive. What space-faring rattletraps make the cut in our top five list of "hunk of junk" spaceships?


5. EAGLE V from Spaceballs

The most impressive thing about the Eagle V is its amazingly pristine (and retro-hideous) 1973 Winnebago chassis. Piloted by Captain Lone Starr and his Mawg co-pilot, Barf, the Eagle V is a ship-for-hire last seen crash landing on the surface of MoonaVega. I would say it was last seen on the recent Spaceballs cartoon series, but that would imply that people actually watched it.

FEATURES: Interior shag carpeting, perfect for camping.

DRAWBACKS: Screen door, chemical toilet, small fuel tank.


4. THUNDER ROAD from The Explorers


The only ship on this list named after a Bruce Springsteen song, this is the vessel that carried Ethan Hawke, River Phoenix, and Jason Presson into outer space where they made first contact with a rubbery alien who could lip-sync to "Yakety Yak". Higher forms of intelligence, indeed. This bold trio built a craptacular capsule out of a rusty tilt-a-whirl, a garbage can, a busted TV, and Charles Foster Kane's sled, and somehow, not only managed to get it into space without imminent death, but impressed Dick Miller in the process. The vast loneliness of space caused so much psychological damage amongst the children that Phoenix OD'ed years later, Presson went off-the-grid, and Ethan Hawke married Uma Thurman.

FEATURES: Bubble-based technology provides the ship with its own oxygen supply.

DRAWBACKS: Bubble-based technology does not prevent the ship from sinking into the ocean at the end of the film.


Read the rest over at SciFi Squad

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]]>borgexplorersFireflymillennium falconMillenniumFalconSerenityspaceballsspaceshipsstar trekStar WarsStarTrekStarWarsCinematical staffWed, 21 Oct 2009 13:32:00 ESTFive Villains Who've Worn Out Their Welcomehttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/five-villains-whove-worn-out-their-welcome/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/five-villains-whove-worn-out-their-welcome/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/20/five-villains-whove-worn-out-their-welcome/#commentsFiled under: ,



A good villain is memorable, and impressive, and scary as hell. But bring back the same villain over and over, give him lousy dialogue and have him repeatedly defeated by worthless opponents, and that villain becomes nothing more than an ineffectual bully who doesn't know when to give up. He's like that big, hairy guy down the street who scared the crap out of you when you were a kid, but who now has a pot belly, three obnoxious kids, and a Trans Am on blocks in his front yard. It makes it hard to remember why you ever found him frightening in the first place -- you'd feel sorry for him, but you just don't care enough to bother. Like these five:

Dr. Evil
Remember how cool Dr. Evil was in the first Austin Powers movie? Very few villains have fallen as far or as fast as Mike Myers' homage to Bondian baddies. Sure, he was a little out of touch with the current global economy, and his relationship with his son, Scott, was a tad strained, but he had a super-cool secret lair inside a volcano island, and a spaceship, and a clone sidekick, and lasers. Despite his flaws, Dr. Evil had all the earmarks of a world-class villain.

But by Myers' third, tired outing, Dr. Evil (along with every other joke in Myers' playbook) was used up -- so much so, that Myers brought in yet another villain, Goldmember, and he played that guy, too. It takes a lot of talent to stretch yourself that thin and get away with it -- I mean, sure, Alec Guinness played eight characters in Kind Hearts and Coronets, but he's freakin' Obi-Wan Kenobi. The Force is considerably weaker in Myers, and maybe if he'd been happy playing a few less characters, he'd have been able to come up with a better script ... one that didn't require the once-impressive Dr. Evil to spell his name "D to the rizzo, E to the vizzo, I to the lizzo." Bleh.

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]]>ANightmareOnElmStreetDarthVaderdinosaursDr.EvilearthfeaturedFreddyKruegerMichaelMyersRoland EmmerichRolandEmmerichStarWarsvillainsvillains09Dawn TaylorTue, 20 Oct 2009 21:02:00 ESTFive Horror Movies You Can Show Your Kidshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/18/5-horror-movies-you-can-show-your-kids/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/18/5-horror-movies-you-can-show-your-kids/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/18/5-horror-movies-you-can-show-your-kids/#commentsFiled under: , , ,



As 'secular' holidays go, Halloween is easily my favorite. You can keep your Valentine's Day hearts and your St. Patrick Day benders, and give me a jack o' lantern any day of the week. It's a holiday that I never fail to celebrate with too much candy and as many horror movies as I can get my hands on, and even though I may not trick or treat anymore, I am highly observant when it comes to All Hallows' Eve. Maybe my love for the season is that it really is the perfect holiday for the movie lover, and I always remember gearing up for the big day as a kid by watching scary movies. I still keep that tradition alive as an adult, but like they say; it's all about the kids -- unfortunately for parents, most horror movies aren't.

There is plenty of horror for the grown-ups of the world, and we've got our choice from everything to high concept ghost stories to so-called torture porn, but it's a lot trickier when you start to look for something for something that is a little more family-friendly. So there has to be some middle-ground between G-rated fare like The Great Pumpkin and a Dario Argento splatter fest, right? Well, of course there is, so I thought I'd share five movies that you could show kids without worrying about dooming them to a lifetime on a therapist's couch:

After the jump; my recommendations for kid-friendly scares...

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]]>80sfamilyfeaturedfright nightFrightNighthallohorrokidspoltergeistSilver BulletSilverBulletthe monster squadTheMonsterSquadTrick r TreatTrickRTreatJessica BarnesSun, 18 Oct 2009 20:03:00 ESTCinematical Seven: The Smartest Unlawful Citizenshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/cinematical-seven-the-smartest-unlawful-citizens/#commentsFiled under: , ,


This Friday is all about wild things at the multiplex. Some are furry and lovable, and explore the emotions of childhood. Others are law abiding citizens, blowing up Philadelphia and showing off their follow-me-lines for no plotworthy reason. I decided to honor the latter with my Cinematical Seven, because Law Abiding Citizen marks Gerard Butler's big producing debut, and any film that requires he abandon trousers is worthy of celebration.

Law Abiding Citizen centers on Clyde Shelton, who loses his family in a grisly slaying and decides to exact his own justice in true Charles Bronson style. But whereas Bronson just needed to speak softly and carry a big gun, Shelton decides to exact his revenge from behind bars. So, in honor of his crazy-eyed and pantless plotting, I've decided to list seven inmates who could have inspired Clyde Shelton's reign of terror. These lawful and unlawful citizens all manage to hatch impressive plans while locked up in the slammer. Some of them are just sick of prison food and trying to get out, while others have more sinister goals in mind. Regardless of their guilt or innocence, we often find ourselves rooting for them to dodge their stripes, and thwart the system.

Head below the jump for the seven!


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]]>cinematical 7cinematical sevenCinematical7CinematicalSevencool hand lukeCoolHandLukeCopycatEscape From AlcatrazEscapeFromAlcatrazGerard ButlerGerardButlerLaw Abiding CitizenLawAbidingCitizenThe Count of Monte Cristothe shawshank redemptionThe Silence of the LambsTheCountOfMonteCristoTheShawshankRedemptionTheSilenceOfTheLambsx2: x-men unitedX2:X-menUnitedElisabeth RappeThu, 15 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTReal-Life Romances On The Big Screenhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/real-life-romances-on-the-big-screen/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/real-life-romances-on-the-big-screen/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/15/real-life-romances-on-the-big-screen/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , , , ,



It's not that strange for two people who work together to fall in love, but it does seem to happen an awful lot in Hollywood (although to be fair, most of us don't spend our days rolling around half-naked with our co-workers). So even though it might be easy to fall in love at work, it isn't as easy for a couple to stay in love once they're spending every waking moment together -- and the latest celebrity couple who will put my theory to the test is Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer (better known as Sookie and Vampire Bill) from HBO's True Blood. The two fell in love (and got engaged) while working on the vampire soap, and now they're heading back to work together in the thriller, Open House.

According to IMDB, the story will center on a couple whose marriage is on the rocks, and are trying to offload their palatial home during a weekend 'open house'. But, things start to get a little weird when it turns out one of the potential buyers never left. The film was written by Paquin's brother Andrew (who will be making his directorial debut), and the cast will include Tricia Helfer (BSG), Rachel Blanchard (Spread), and Brian Geraghty (The Hurt Locker) in unspecified roles while the True Blood stars will play the married couple.

Moyer and Paquin aren't the first real-life couple who like to work together, and over the years plenty of Hollywood power couples have tried and failed to translate that relationship onto the big screen. After the jump: some other famous real-life couples on the big screen...

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]]>anna paquinAnnaPaquinben affleckBenAffleckcouplesjennifer lopezJenniferLopezLauren BacallLaurenBacallNicole KidmanNicoleKidmanOpen HouseOpenHouseStephen MoyerStephenMoyerTom CruiseTomCruisetricia helferTriciaHelfertrue bloodTrueBloodJessica BarnesThu, 15 Oct 2009 17:32:00 ESTCinematical Seven: Bai Ling's Favorite Bai Ling Love Sceneshttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/cinematical-seven-bai-lings-favorite-bai-ling-love-scenes/#commentsFiled under: , , , , , ,


Chinese-American actress Bai Ling had her breakout role in 1997's Red Corner, a courtroom drama in which she defended Richard Gere from a corrupt government trial - romancing him, naturally, along the way. But since then, Ling has played a streak of bad girls and scantily-clad seductresses that put her equally-sensual public persona front and center, in films ranging from Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow to this year's Crank: High Voltage. Even in her latest film, the independent drama A Beautiful Life, Ling plays a stripper - albeit one with a heart of gold.

Some might argue that her career choices lean toward female objectification, and they wouldn't be wrong. But there's something wholly empowered about the way Bai Ling tackles her film roles. Sure, she's played her fair share of strippers, prostitutes, and femme fatales, but does it matter if she totally owns and embraces those characters more given in to their carnal impulses?

After the jump, Bai Ling names her favorite Bai Ling love scenes of all time.

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]]>Bai LingJen YamatoWed, 14 Oct 2009 22:32:00 ESTFive Folks Who Could Direct 'The Avengers' Instead of Jon Favreauhttp://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/five-folks-who-could-direct-the-avengers-instead-of-favrea/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/five-folks-who-could-direct-the-avengers-instead-of-favrea/http://www.cinematical.com/2009/10/14/five-folks-who-could-direct-the-avengers-instead-of-favrea/#commentsFiled under: , , ,


I know it's a huge bummer that Iron Man director Jon Favreau told MTV that he's not going to be directing The Avengers, Marvel's forthcoming superhero omnibus film that'll feature the likes of The Hulk, Nick Fury, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, and whoever else the now Disney-owned studio wants to create a new action figure for. Favreau would love to do it, and he'll executive produce, but logistically he is just not going to be available to direct. Obviously that's not going to stop Marvel from moving forward with the guaranteed moneymaker, so here are five humble suggestions for replacement.

Before we let the fanboy inside us explode at the possibilities, let's keep things a bit grounded. They've got to be directors who could tackle something in the fantasy-action realm and they have to be available; so even though I'd be game for them, busy A-listers like Christopher Nolan or J.J. Abrams just aren't practical.

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]]>Alex ProyasAlexProyasCaptain AmericaCaptainAmericaIron ManIronManJon FavreauJonFavreauMarvelMatthew VaughnMatthewVaughnNeill BlomkampNeillBlomkampPaul VerhoevenPaulVerhoevenPierre MorelPierreMorelThe AvengersTheAvengersThorPeter HallWed, 14 Oct 2009 14:02:00 EST