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Once upon a time, Sgt. Rock was in the hands of Guy Ritchie, and many an Easy Company fan was upset. But you'll undoubtedly wish that Ritchie and Joel Silver had made it to the finish line, because Sgt. Rock will not make it to the big screen in a form you'll recognize. According to The Hollywood Reporter, he has a new director in Francis Lawrence and a whole new space-time continuum. Joel Silver is still on board as producer, and he's bringing Akiva Goldsman on board to help. They've hired newcomer Chad St. John to pen the script.

As you may or may not know, Sgt. Rock is a WWII soldier. He's always fought in WWII. The poor guy has never even gotten to leave the European theater. (It was rumored in Swamp Thing that he was transferred to the Pacific, but never confirmed.) Any attempt at a movie adaptation has always gone forward with this central idea of keeping him in his element. But budget, politics, and popularity has always been an issue, and no one believes you can make The Dirty Dozen in this day and age unless you're Quentin Tarantino. So Warner Bros has decided to bypass the drama, and put Sgt. Rock in the future. CG is cheaper than Nazis, and a nondescript soldier of the future is less problematic than an American fighting a good fight. (While no war is a good war, I do think we can all agree that fighting Nazis was a good thing.)

Nothing else is known about this storyline, so I hate to jump to a knee-jerk conclusion as to who or what Sgt. Rock will face there, or whether he will be transported to the future from WWII. But I think this is an unfortunate thing to do to a character who resides in WWII for a very specific and honorable reason. The last thing he should become is a Universal Soldier or Terminator ripoff.

Se7en... I'll never forget the first time I watched it, nestled with friends into the old seats at Gettysburg's Majestic Theater, all of us enamored, shocked, chilled, and buzzed on the thrill of the film IMDb ranks as #27 out of the Top 250 Films. It's one of those movies that elicits glazed eyes of fandom at its mention. But could the magic be brought to life again?

The Hollywood Reporter's Heat Vision Blog reports that Se7en alums David Fincher, Andrew Kevin Walker, and Michael De Luca are re-teaming to make a new adaptation of Max Ehrlich's The Reincarnation of Peter Proud for Columbia Pictures. Fincher is, of course, attached to direct, and Walker will pen the script. (The book was originally adapted by Ehrlich himself for the film back in 1975.) The story focuses on a college prof who becomes plagued by recurring dreams and nightmares that he realizes are memories of a past life. With the help of his girlfriend, he tries to find the source of the visions and "discovers a woman and her grown-up daughter who are keys to his past life." The original story got in some hot water for a subplot rife with incest, but methinks that will be diluted or deleted this time around as everything gets updated.

With all of this in place, the only blocks left are the cast. It might seem like an easy pick, but I'd love to see Kevin Kline bite into this. Yes, he's the go-to guy for college professors, but he's also severely talented and severely under-utilized. A role like this could rip him out of the crap. But if the choice was yours, who would you like to see crack the past? Or are you just recoiling at word of another remake?

I hope you don't hate vampires, because they don't seem to be going anywhere. Now Amy Heckerling, the woman behind Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Clueless, is getting in on the bloodsucking. According to Screen Daily, Parlay Films has grabbed the international rights to an upcoming romantic comedy called Vamps, that Heckerling will write and direct.

"The film will be a modern-day tale of two young female vampires living the good life in New York until love enters the picture and each has to make a choice that will jeopardize their immortality." Krysten Ritter will star as one of the lead vamps, and they're still searching for the other bloodsucker. This marks a big jump from the actress, who has moved from bubbly side gigs on shows like Gilmore Girls and Veronica Mars to some cinematic supporting roles, a lead gig in the web series Woke Up Dead, and now her first starring film job.

Perhaps I'm being overly hopeful, but it's time for Heckerling to bring us her next comedy classic, and I'm hoping this is it. There was a 13-year span between Ridgemont and Clueless, and it's been 14 years since Cher found love with Josh, so could this be the next Heckerling extravaganza we won't want to heckle? Or, just another project in an oversaturated market?

Having dipped into the seductive waters of sexy courtesans, Stephen Frears is now looking towards the future, and the future's got lots of gambling. The trades are reporting that Frears is set to direct Lay the Favorite, a dramedy that will rejoin him with High Fidelity scribe D.V. De Vincentis. The project stems from an upcoming memoir by Beth Raymer called Lay the Favorite, Take the Dog, which will be published this Spring.

Now, why did I say trades and not pick one? That's because it's time to play Pick the Plot.

In one corner, we've got The Hollywood Reporter, who says that this is a world of "geeky gamblers" who "figure out how to work the sportsbook system in Las Vegas for their own profit. It centers on a woman in her early thirties who has made a series of bad choices but achieves a redemption of sorts when she meets and then becomes involved with the gamblers." De Vincentis says: "This is the version of 50-year-old math geeks from Queens in basketball shorts who have pet guinea pigs."

In the other corner, we've got Variety describing the story as a "young woman's journey into the world of sports gambling. She starts out as a cocktail waitress but gets caught up in gambling until falling in love," calling it a cross between High Fidelity and The Grifters.

So, geek fest with gambling and a little romance thrown in for good measure, or a romantic world where a cocktail waitress can gamble her way to money ... and love. Which do you choose?

Ashley Greene's cinematic path hasn't been gradual. It all started with a couple one-ep stints on a few shows, a gig on a quickly vaporized show called Desire, time as a McDonald's customer in King of California, an uncredited moment on Shark, and playing Kim #4 in Otis. Then everything changed. She put on the superstylish clothes, added a pixie hop to her step, and starting divining the future on the Twilight series. Now she's got a handful of movies under her belt, and is circling her next starring gig.

Risky Biz Blog reports that Greene is looking into the ghostly side of supernatural life. The actress is in talks to star in The Apparition, Dark Castle's latest supernatural horror that will, most likely, wrench her out of sparkles and overprotective families. Written and to be directed by Todd Lincoln, the story focuses on a couple in college who are haunted by a "supernatural presence" they let out during a college experiment.

Supposedly, this is inspired by true events. Methinks true events in the same world where Blair Witch flies free, unless it isn't incantations that unleashes ghosts, but rather beakers of creepy substances. Or, they mean college experiment as in guy and girl make a witchy circle on their dorm floor and start doing spells all willy nilly. Whatever the case, the film hits production in February of next year.

After a year of speculation (Will it be James Bond? Will it be Maximum City? Trainspotting 2?), Danny Boyle has finally settled on his next project. Variety reports that it will be 127 Hours, the tale of mountain climber Aron Ralston. Boyle has been loosely attached to the project since June when the LA Times reported that Boyle and Fox Searchlight had signed a long term, best friends forever deal. Boyle has already penned a treatment, and Simon Beaufoy is in talks to write the script.

In this age of flashmob media stories, you might have forgotten the tale of Ralston. Like your humble authoress and Balloon Boy, Ralston hails from Colorado. He became famous for a Utah climbing accident in 2003, when an 800 lb boulder shifted and crushed his hand. Ralston was forced to choose between life and limb, and in a stomach-turning story heard around the world, he amputated his own hand with a pocketknife. In the media frenzy that followed, Ralston was hailed as a hero and as an idiot, because he had chosen to go climbing alone and without notifying anyone. It was particularly intense locally, and I still remember the heroism debate Ralston sparked in my American Culture class. (It even inspired one student's final project!) Since those heady days of early fame, Ralston has enjoyed success with his autobiography, continues to climb, and is a motivational speaker.

The director is already on the casting hunt for the part of Ralston, which Variety declares will be "a plum job" because it will force an actor to work solo for most of the shoot. Below the jump, I've embedded a video of Ralston describing his amputation. Watch it to prepare for two hours of unflinching detail, and sound off on who you think should be lucky enough to act out a very painful 127 Hours.

Sony's thriller The Tourist just keeps sending its talent packing. Originally set to be a vehicle for Tom Cruise and Charlize Theron, it shifted gears last month and was re-cast with Angelina Jolie and Sam Worthington. But once again, The Tourist finds itself without travel arrangements for a male lead as Variety reports that Worthington is out due to "creative disagreements" and Johnny Depp is in.

Depp is still in talks to play the hapless American tourist, and with the way this film is going, one can't assume it's finalized. But if it is, it might just be the casting coup of 2010. A Depp-Jolie pair-up has been something dreamed about by a lot of producers and studios over the years. Once upon a time, rumor even had them attached to play Cathy and Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights. People want to see them having onscreen sex. It'd be the hottest thing since ... well, Brad Pitt and Jolie having sex onscreen. (And off. Hey, I'm just being honest. There was a reason everyone wanted to see their offspring.)

The Tourist is also on the hunt for a director. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck was circling the project, but departed alongside Worthington over those whispery creative differences. Reportedly, a lot of directors are interested, including Alfonso Cuaron. While shake-ups can be be a sign of a bad film, I'd like to think that a thriller that winds up with Jolie, Depp, and Cuaron came together exactly as it was meant to.

Once upon a time here on Cinematical (actually, it was a mere year ago), I pondered whether you could ever be too attractive to be believable. I reasoned that it was a bit silly to argue that Angelina Jolie was too pretty to be the mother of a kidnapped child, because good looks doesn't equal good luck. But I might have to change my thesis for Patrick Dempsey. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Dempsey is teaming up with Jon Lucas and Scott Moore (aka "The Hangover Team") for an untitled bank heist comedy.

Dempsey will play an ordinary man who wanders into his bank branch for a deposit or a withdrawal, and winds up being caught in a robbery. Actually, it's not just one robbery but two occurring at the same bank and at the same time. (If this bank isn't in Gotham City and this stick-up isn't being overseen by the Joker, I'm disappointed already.) But the real kicker is that he is secretly in love with his bank teller, and was just getting up the guts to ask her out when the robberies happened. Now, he's forced to protect her and hope she'll say yes to dinner and a movie if they make it out alive.

Now, I know good looking guys can be shy. But this is like slapping thick glasses on Amanda Seyfried and expecting us to buy that she's unattractive. If he's a regular customer to that teller window, chances are she counts the minutes until he shows up with another deposit, and works frantically to maintain her lipstick in between. She's been hinting every time that she's single and looking. So unless Dempsey's character has been living in a cave (and maybe there's more twists and turns that he has) which has caused him to be socially inept, there's no excusing such awkwardness.

Once you've made emotional mincemeat out of legions of adoring young girls, what's next? How do you transcend tweendom and seduce the seas of adult women (Twilight moms not included)? Bedding Nicole Kidman is a start. Screen Daily reports that Robert Pattinson and Kidman have signed on to star in an adaptation of Guy De Maupassant's Bel Ami. Adapted by Rachel Bennette, the film will be directed by Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod.

Published in 1885, Bel Ami is an erotic tale of journalist Georges Duroy and how he sleeps his way to the top of Parisian high society. After a few years of military service in Algeria, Duroy works as a clerk in Paris until he becomes a journalist, aided by Mme Forestier (presumably Kidman). She helps write his first articles, he works his way up to chief editor, and she uses her political connections to get him the information he needs, which also leads him to his own network of increasing power. Bit by bit, he sleeps with influential women, using his loins to work his way to the top.

If you've seen Little Ashes, this is just wiping away the Dali quirks and throwing Pattinson into a Parisian life roughly 25 years earlier -- which wasn't quite the visual and social jump then as it is now. And while I wonder why Kidman so often gets cast opposite young males (at least this one's of age!), it's not hard to imagine a retro world of Parisian enticement with Pattinson and Kidman at the center of it.

Production begins this February in London and Budapest.

While Morgan Freeman has dabbled in comedy in his long and illustrious career, I don't think he's ever really gotten a chance to really cut loose. He certainly hasn't gotten to play in the raunchy end of the pool, but it sounds as though he's taking the leap in Dirty Old Men. The Hollywood Reporter says that he's attached to star as an aging playboy in the tentatively titled project, and we'll either be laughing or horribly traumatized by his efforts.

Men was penned by Josh Cagan and Greg Coolidge, and is said to be similar in tone to The Wedding Crashers and The 40 Year Old Virgin. It centers on two aging playboys who have been each other's wingmen for over 40 years. One of them meets the love of his life, leaving the other (played by Freeman) to chase skirts on his own. Well, that just won't do. The lonely playboy does everything he can to break up the new couple. I will bet money there's at least one I-hid-the-Viagra scenario. No, I don't like to think about it.

Peter Segal is in talks to direct, and the hunt is on for the playboy-husband-to-be. Warner Bros is hoping Jack Nicholson will take the part and reteam with his Bucket List buddy. But if he turns it down, may I humbly suggest they look to Freeman's real life wingman, Clint Eastwood? If Viagra jokes must be made, let them be the two that make them.