As the authoress of The Geek Beat had professed a desire to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, the publishing company of Quirk Books of Philadelphia did thoughtfully send a copy with their compliments, and expressed their desire that I review it if it should please me to do so. I had the highest of hopes that the novel would be excellent sport, and make for a fine adaptation should an honorable gentleman or lady of fortune wish to option the work. Lud! I was to be disappointed in this regard, and should any of my readers wish to inform themselves as to my thoughts and feelings on the honorable Seth Grahame-Smith, they may do so here.

As Pride and Prejudice and Zombies proved to be a veritable success at its coming out, and as Regency satire is all the crack, Q has looked to repeat itself with Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. The publisher again showed great charity, and sent your humble authoress a copy in the hopes that I might find it agreeable to my tastes.

Lawks! Desist, dear authors and publishers! Stop these bacon-brained notions. I warrant that such ideas were conceived with much mirth, and I confess freely to entertaining such fancies in my spare hours after English class. But amusements that seem so very droll while bandied in idle chatter are too often spent by the time one realizes them fully, and such is the case with Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I confess, I could not even finish the novel, so weary was I of the joke. For your pleasure, I have embedded the book's "trailer" below the jump, for I am certain that if you are amused by it, you will not tire of the book's conceit.

I've decided to launch a new, semi-regular feature within The Geek Beat. As you can probably imagine, it's quite difficult to come up with a new geeky topic week after week, and news occasionally becomes scarce. Holiday weekends are especially rough for discussion topics, and a girl is forced to invent her own. So, I've decided to borrow a page from Guy Ritchie and Warner Bros, and launch something I'm calling "Adapt This!"

You see, there are characters within the universes of Marvel and DC that are just kind of ... off. You wonder what drugs people were on when they created them, and you subsequently wonder what someone might have to be on to option them for a movie. However, this is a day and age of geekdom when no holds are barred, when Lobo finds a teenage sidekick and Youngblood is considered a "Heck yeah, too cool!" property. So, I've decided to just comb through the comic archives, pick a character (nearly) at random, and present a case for adaptation. It's all tongue in cheek, though the wild west nature of optioning says you could see any one of these in a theater near you.

This week's selection: Granny Goodness!

As the dust begins to settle on the enormous, earth shattering deal between Marvel and Disney, we can take a deep and clear breath here on the Geek Beat, and summarize what we already know and what we can hope for. This is going to be an ongoing story, and more developments will probably break after this piece is published, but I figured I'd play it safe and easy this week, and just clarify what I could.

Naturally, our biggest fear is that Disney was going to be purging Marvel of all its down and dirty heroes onscreen and off. We made a lot of jokes about it, but the one thing stressed by Disney and Joe Quesada was that all such weeping and wailing was groundless. Comic Book Resources exhaustively detailed the big conference call where Disney executives stressed again and again that they were uninterested in messing up Marvel's business, and cited their arrangement with PIXAR as proof of their good intentions. They feel that Marvel Entertainment handles their characters intelligently, and knows how to work with them in other media. Disney was attracted to them for that very reason -- and that's not exactly the first time we've heard that since it's precisely why all kinds of talented people are racing to get involved with Marvel movies.

That was repeated again and again at the Iron Man 2 roundtable. No matter if they're actors, directors, writers, or producers, everyone loves hanging around the Marvel gurus, and only a madmen would tamper with that formula.

Days out from the debut of the Avatar trailer, and the buzz of Avatar Day, we're still talking about James Cameron's technological opus. I wanted to write something that was a little critical of the hype, but I feel as though anything I say will immediately be perceived as a result of my bad experience. So, I recruited William Goss to be the other, more positive half of an Avatar debate. As Goss wisely points out, it's far too early to judge what this film is going to do in December, and I know that the full marketing onslaught awaits. The moviegoing public still has no idea what's in store. Is that a good thing? A bad thing? Read on as we try to play soothsayer, and then join in with some predictions of your own.

Elisabeth: So, let's kick the tires and light the fires. You actually made it into Avatar Day footage, right?

Will: Twice.

Elisabeth: Wow! How full was it?

Will: First time, maybe half full. Second time, a little more than. Neither, though, was packed. A few more kids at the later one, to boot, who came with their parents.

Elisabeth: I know people will probably think that I'm just bitter because of my experience, but I honestly thought it was handled all wrong. When the first announced it at ComicCon, I really thought it would be an all day event at theaters, and it would literally draw in the curious. The way it was handled, it only catered to the same handful that already knew about it.

Will: Well, it was made available online. The geeks that knew wrote about it. How many people already planning to go into a movie would rather see something twenty minutes long and then have to wait for the next showing? All they could've done more to make it public would be, well, TV spots maybe.

So, last week I rated and ranked the geekier girls of the summer blockbuster season, and now it's time for the men to be sorted and judged. Last year, I didn't bother to rank them and just gave the prize to Harvey Dent and predicted that Wolverine would take it this year. Well, we all know that isn't going to happen. Sorry, Logan, it hurts me as much as it hurts you. Maybe you'll earn the prize in 2012 or whenever it is you go to Japan.

Actually, the boys of summer have proved to be a bit of a challenge. It's hard to believe, but I think the girls actually fared better in terms of variety and interest. When trying to sort out who is the better man, I really feel that all our muscle bound and star-powered heroes came out a little wanting. It didn't look that way going into the season -- there was Wolverine, John Connor, Captain Kirk, Duke and Snake Eyes. Surely one of them would take the Coolest Guy of Summer, right? Wrong.

Now, admittedly on that list I have only seen Star Trek (Terminator: Salvation has long since vanished from the multiplex, and funds keep me from G.I. Joe), but while all had their fans and were enjoyable films, not one character jumped out as a star player. Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto were certainly good (the latter especially), but I still feel they're a bit of a wait-and-see at this point. Another Trek film could dash their wow factor altogether. Sure, that seems unlikely, but think to the summer of 2008. Did you imagine that you'd walk out of your theater thinking Wolverine and John Connor were downright blah?

Whenever I'm casting about for an idea, I like to go back and see what I wrote about at the same time last year. 99% of the the time it results in absolutely nothing ("Oh wow, another Wolverine column!"), but every once and awhile it's something that I was setting up as a yearly event. So luckily, when I dug through the archives, I discovered The Girls of Summer 2008 and it's boyish companion. "Hooray! I did mean to continue this!"

So, 2009! I think we can all agree it was a pretty lackluster one for the blockbusters. The summer kicked off with a mutant whimper in X-Men Origins: Wolverine while it perked up with a Star Trek and UP, most of the things we were super excited about just didn't meet our expectations. I have to confess here that I honestly forgot to see Terminator: Salvation (actually, I was stood up for it), refused to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and the disasters of daily life have prevented me from seeing G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra. But, I feel safe on judging the latter when it comes to this kind of prize going purely on Twitter buzz, so let's just get right to it and discuss the girls of the season. Just to keep things relatively short, I'm sticking to the pulpy, genre-oriented flicks as opposed to the Julie and Julia or Public Enemies offerings, though they're worth noting as well.

Comic-Con is nearly two weeks past (I know, crazy!), but the trades and movie sites are still feeling the aftershock of Hall H buzz, and are still buried in piles of roundtable transcription. Now comes the time of the backlash, and if you follow Heidi MacDonald's excellent blog The Beat, you'll see the complaints and criticisms pour in from the press right down to the humble individuals working the merchandise booths. Mixed in with the general "Dear god, what did we do for four days?" horror is Anne Thompson's Studios Play It Safe piece which I feel is reflective of the films trotted out at the con. As Thompson notes, "Every studio is desperately seeking franchises, tentpoles, remakes, reboots, prequels and sequels. Original is a dirty word. It means having to start something from scratch with no safety zone. We know that books, plays, tv shows, videogames, theme park rides, comics and graphic novels are easier to make than anything original."

Now, I whole-heartedly agree with Thompson (heck, my second column ever was about the same thing), but I will argue that adapting literature, be it novels or comic books, isn't something to be frowned on. An original story is an original story regardless of what kind of page it appears on, and I don't think prior publication eliminates a property from being just as daring and original on the big screen. One of the reasons I love the comic book world is that it's a culture that's rife with edgy stories -- stories that are told in a picture-panel form because they're cinematic stories, but stories that are unable to be told on the big screen. No studio would have ever made Sandman, Watchmen, or Preacher into a movie, but slap those stories into a two dimensional panel, and they became legendary, and lusted after by Hollywood. I like that, even if I'm skeptical that something as unwieldy as Preacher or Y: The Last Man can be properly adapted.

San Diego Comic-Con is now over, and I'm writing to you as a broken shell of a fangirl. I'm broke. My feet are numb and bleeding due to my unfortunate shoe selection. I no longer remember what sleep is. I've suffered days of stomachaches due to starvation. I'm not exactly sure what it was all for because I came away having failed in my coverage and failed in my sheer fandom.

For many, Comic-Con is about work. You're either there manning tables, handing out posters or postcards, doing line management, or doing the press circuit. Obviously, that was me this year, and I had cherished hopes of being able to balance fandom and professionalism. I honestly believed that I'd be able to duck down to Hall H and watch Warner Bros. bring out the Jonah Hex trailer, and then somehow run back up to take my place as Lois Lane. Somewhere around Friday morning, as I earned another bruise and found myself facing down Gary Oldman, I realized this wasn't going to happen. That said, I realize you've just read that as a terrible name drop and are thinking "But I'd love to talk to Gary Oldman! Quit your complaining!"

Well, of course you would. Who wouldn't! I got into this strange and nebulous profession because I am a fan, and because I dreamed of experiences like the ones I've already had. I wanted to be that eyewitness reporter to the world of movies and the people who make them, and I've been very lucky in my experiences so far. But I find myself missing the world of "ordinary" fandom, and it was bizarre and bittersweet to spend four days in San Diego and not attend a single panel. Whereas everyone I know has been seeing the sights of Avatar, Where the Wild Things Are, and Kick-Ass, I've been sitting in roundtable rooms feeling the floor rumble up from Hall H and thinking "Well, it sounds cool." It was even harder to get so very close to seeing Iron Man 2, but missing it due to a ticketing snafu.

For the past month, people have asked me to put together a Real Girl's Guide to ComicCon. You probably remember that there was a bit of a stink about the LA Times' attempt at it. A lot of girls have already penned such lists though, and doing my own feels like an attempt to arrive fashionably late, hog some attention, and ignore the work of others. But as I've put together my own schedule, and wondered just what I would put on such a guide, I realized that there's no way in hell I should suggest things for female congoers, or that I would know what they'd like. I say that not as someone who sits on a lofty perch of gender, holding myself separate from my kind, but because women, just like men, have a variety of tastes and opinions.

I wrote something very similar this past March (how long ago that seems already) when Watchmen came out, and the world seemed skeptical that women would go see it. ComicCon is inspiring very similar feelings all around our great media culture, with mockery directed towards the New Moon ticketholders and skepticism directed at the rest of us. There's an ongoing belief that if a woman finds herself at ComicCon, she will be utterly lost and bored, and won't know what to do with herself. Presumably, she will follow her boyfriend or husband around all day, and possibly buy a Wonder Woman hoodie while he's buying a Punisher t-shirt. There will undoubtedly be some women like that, but there will certainly be just as many who bought tickets of their own free will and who will be lining up for Doctor Who and Avatar just like the men are.

If The Geek beat ended tomorrow (but it's not -- don't worry!), it would end on one hell of a high note. Two weeks ago, Justin Gray graciously agreed to do an interview with me all about comics, movies, and the upcoming live-action adaptation of Jonah Hex. (IF you haven't read it yet, go back and do so!) As I said before, one of my goals with this weekly column was to bring you some of the hardworking men and women who create all the stories we really geek out over. Can you believe I've managed to do it again? By sheer luck, this time it's Gray's co-writer Jimmy Palmiotti!

Palmiotti has had a very long career at Marvel and DC, and has worked on characters ranging from the Punisher to Hawkman. He's been the creator and co-creator of The New West, The Pro, Gatecrasher, Beautiful Killer, Ash, Cloudburst, Trigger Girl 6, Thrill Seeker and Painkiller Jane. He and Gray have teamed up for Jonah Hex, Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters, 21 Down, The Resistance, DC's Countdown, Hawkman, Monolith, The Hills Have Eyes: The Beginning, and Friday the 13th and many others, including the upcoming The Last Resort. The first issue of Resort hits store shelves this Wednesday (check out the preview on Newsarama), and if you love zombies and 70s style exploitation, then it's the series for you. Demand your store order a copy in if they didn't snag you one already.

Palmotti graciously came by to talk about Resort (and why you should read it), zombie movies, how he feels about superheroes and their movies, where he'll be at ComicCon, and the experience of seeing Jonah Hex come alive. Read on!

It's turning out to be one of those weeks as far as news and my own personal creativity goes, so I'm afraid we have to just aim for the lowbrow topic, and talk about superheroes having sex. Why not? We're adults, it's summer, and there's nothing hotter than well-built people in tight outfits.

My pal Rick Marshall over on the MTV Splash Page drew my attention to a fun little chart that UncannyXMen.net put together that details just who has hooked up, and who hasn't. I don't want to think about how much time it took those fine people to draw those lines and research all of that, but since it's the stuff that 2am geek debates are made of, let's thank them for doing it. It's pretty hilarious, if only because Wolverine gets around far, far more than even I was aware of. (At least he can't get STDs! And yes, that very topic was a 2am geek debate I had once.)

I think what's rather striking about this list is how well it illustrates how sexless the movies are. This isn't really a surprise given the general prudishness of American films, and the need to make these as family friendly as possible. I also remember that I argued for the need to make some of them as kid-friendly as possible, and I maintain that. Every time I read Wolverine: First Class (and now the brand new Pet Avengers) I think "Thank goodness there's still something out there for kids" particularly after the orgasm-filled panels of Ultimate Hulk Vs Wolverine. I want something to read to my future progeny, after all, and there's no way I'm going to have a safe big enough to contain every issue of Invincible Iron Man.

One of the things I've been hoping to do with the Geek Beat for some time is to use it to interview the hardworking men and women of the geek world ... because come on, who wants to listen to me blather solo until the end of time? Wouldn't it be cool to hear from people actually creating the things I rant about? Yeah, I thought so too.

Finally, the stars aligned, and I managed to connect with someone whose work I've admired for some time: Justin Gray. You know Gray from his solo work on Legends of the Dark Knight, MA Fantastic Four, and numerous titles with Moonstone Books. You also know him from his work with Jimmy Palmiotti, as they've been behind such cool titles as Jonah Hex, Heroes For Hire, Friday the 13th, 21 Down, and Hawkman, plus the Ghost Rider and Punisher video games. Check out their official site for more info, and buy up anything with their names on it to keep those single issue sales up and thriving.

Now, enough of me! You see enough of me every week. Let's just jump right in with Justin, who graciously answered my questions about Jonah Hex, the comic industry, Hollywood's newfound love affair with it, and just what it's like to be a successful writer. The interview is after the jump, and I really hope you enjoy it.