Theatrical Reviews »
Review: The American
Filed under: Action, Drama, Thrillers, New Releases, Theatrical Reviews, Fandom, New in Theaters, Focus Features, George Clooney
Having tried something professionally, succeeded in my ambitions and yet still somehow fallen short, I can empathize with Anton Corbijn. His new film, The American, feels like exactly the movie he wanted to make, and it also feels like the movie his investors and collaborators knew they were making. But it doesn't feel like the movie they thought they would get from doing exactly what they wanted, which is why audiences will probably feel like it's not the movie they want to see. Corbijn, who previously directed the elegant, tragic Ian Curtis biopic, has crafted an equally elegant film for his follow-up, but its only genuine tragedy is that it doesn't feel more, well, tragic, leaving The American relegated to the status of noble failure even as it delivers an otherwise pretty (and pretty familiar) thriller about an aging hitman.
George Clooney plays Jack, an assassin who departs for parts unknown after his Icelandic hideout is attacked by revenge-seeking Swedes. Arriving in the Italian countryside at the behest of his boss Pavel (Johan Leysen), he strikes up an unexpected friendship with a local priest (Paolo Bonacetti) before being recruited for a new job: build a weapon for another assassin named Mathilde (Thekla Reuten). He agrees to deliver the weapon, but soon realizes that even its considerable payday may not be enough to help him escape his shadowy past, especially after he meets a young prostitute named Clara (Violante Placido) whose companionship makes him begin to long for a more normal life.
Review: Centurion
Filed under: Action, SXSW, Magnolia, Theatrical Reviews, War
By Scott Weinberg (reprint from 3/18/2010 -- SXSW Film Festival)
Imagine a flick like Braveheart, 300, Gladiator, or King Arthur, only those films have just been stripped of all those boring scenes about kings and princes, peasants and slaves, taxes and trades, and all that jazz. The result would be a movie that looks a lot like Neil Marshall's Centurion, a fast-paced, visually stunning, and action-heavy period piece that focuses on what matters most in a Saturday afternoon matinee: the good stuff. Boasting nary a subplot or an extraneous character to deal with, Centurion seems fully intent on delivering an old-school action adventure that tickles the eye without taxing the brain. And it succeeds on all counts.
It's the story of Centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender), a trusted officer in the Roman army. Following a brutal attack by the barbaric Picts (ancient Scots are what they are, I do believe), Quintus finds himself stuck deep inside an enemy village -- but not for long. Quintus' escape is aided by the last few survivors of the legendary Ninth Legion, and together the small band of soldiers must make their way to a friendly border. Not only do they have a long way to go, but they also have on their tails a tenacious group of Pict trackers, which is led by the ferociously unwavering Etain (Olga Kurylenko).
Review: The Last Exorcism
Filed under: Horror, Independent, Lionsgate Films, Theatrical Reviews, Religious
If there's one thing that binds the best exorcism films, it's that the really good ones all offer some great acting. The major players in The Exorcist give amazing performances, The Exorcism of Emily Rose is believable through the work of its solid ensemble, and, now, The Last Exorcism delivers a potentially star-making performance from Patrick Fabian. What seems to be a "me too" attempt at creating another Paranormal Activity is actually a fascinating, uncomfortable, character-driven look at matters of faith and fear.
I expected the typical thrills of a demon possession flick, and while The Last Exorcism delivers, beat-for-beat, almost every creepy trope of the genre, its mature focus on characterization really sets the film apart. This is a welcome approach -- a horror film about people and not just kills and thrills -- but because the scares take a back seat to the characters, it also never quite reaches the fever pitch of terror that it also seems to be working toward. It's engaging, but is it scary? I can't quite say that it is, which is a peculiar criticism of a movie that still stands as one of the best horror films of 2010.
Review: Takers
Filed under: Action, Drama, New Releases, Theatrical Reviews
Takers is the kind of movie where tough guys walk away from an explosion, in slow-motion, without looking behind them. But don't worry! It is also the kind of movie where a man leaps sideways, in slow-motion, while firing two guns at the same time! And the kind of movie where that man is Hayden Christensen!
If you're not hooked already, I don't know what else I can tell you. Directed generically by John Luessenhop from a screenplay written blandly by him and three others, Takers is a buffet of Gritty Crime Drama clichés that offers no surprises but nothing egregiously stupid, either. Basically, you shouldn't see it on purpose, but if you are abducted and required to see it, don't feel like you need to struggle too hard to get away.
Our heroes (I think) are a group of suave, handsome bank robbers. Always dressed to the nines and prone to lounging in the finest nightclubs after a job, these are fancy thieves! And a good-looking bunch they are, too. Christensen plays A.J., who is a street-wise Ivy Leaguer, which means he has tattoos AND a stupid hat. Idris Elba is Gordon, a British cat with a drug-addled aunt (Marianne Jean-Baptiste) causing him problems. Michael Ealy and noted Rihanna-puncher Chris Brown play brothers Jake and Jesse, and Paul Walker is their leader, John.
What's that you say? Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen in the same movie? That's like having a movie with a plank of wood in it, and then also, in that same movie, having an identical plank of wood!
Review: The Switch
Filed under: Comedy, Romance, Theatrical Reviews, Miramax
Sperm is in the air. It's probably fair to assume that the 2007 success of Knocked Up had Hollywood scrambling to green-light the next preggers-centric rom-com, and this year, we find ourselves greeted by the artificial insemination trifecta of The Back-Up Plan, The Kids Are All Right, and now The Switch. The first was a gratingly broad sitcom fixated on the scenario itself, the second a winning take on the family dynamic several years after the fact, and the third initially heads off into wacky sitcom territory before coming back to our characters a few years later and assessing the implications with proper poignancy.
Review: Piranha 3D
Filed under: Horror, Theatrical Reviews
Piranha 3D is a horror movie bar mitzvah. It turns boys into men, cleaving their lives into two distinct periods: Before Piranha 3D, a time we shall refer to as The Darkness, and after Piranha 3D, also known as The Awakening. Now that I have thankfully awoken in its glorious elysian fields of excessive gore and outrageous nudity, I never want to return to horror films that require fewer than 800,000 gallons of fake blood spilling forth from 500 bikini-clad extras. Anything less is an insult and, frankly, a malicious waste of my time.
Now, of course that's all hyperbole, but that's also the point. Alexandre Aja's Piranha 3D is a movie that thrives on constantly pushing things over the top. The gore, the nudity, the language, the gags, the characters-- it's all always on the rise. Just when you think things could not possibly get more ridiculous, that the film has peaked, Aja and screenwriters Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg manage to ram another syringe of adrenaline into its heart, completely bypassing any exhaustion it, and by extension the audience, may have been feeling. This is the kind of movie that refuses to stop indulging in B-movie cliches that other recent films of its ilk clearly feel guilty about having fun with.
Review: Nanny McPhee Returns
Filed under: Comedy, Theatrical Reviews, Family Films, Remakes and Sequels
When actors craft movie roles for themselves they tend to play to their own ever-active egos. So Matt Damon becomes the hyper-intelligent wunderkind of Good Will Hunting. Ben Stiller transforms into a male model in Zoolander. Vincent Gallo casts Chloe Sevigny to...
It's a surprise, then, that the character closest to Emma Thompson's heart is Nanny McPhee, a snaggletooth wielding, boil encrusted uber-nanny whose brand of cool discipline terrifies and charms in equal measure. 2005's original was scripted by Thompson and based on the Nurse Matilda series of books by Christianna Brand and made an impressive amount of money at the box office.
The sequel diverts from the books inasmuch as the eponymous Nanny doesn't return to the children of the first film but rather finds a new family in need of help, governed by frazzled mother Isabel Green (Maggie Gyllenhaal). We're out of 19th Century England and onto a rural farm during World War 2.
Review: Lottery Ticket
Filed under: Comedy, Drama, New Releases, Warner Brothers, Theatrical Reviews
Employing a scatter-shot approach has its benefits. The genial yet thin moral comedy Lottery Ticket takes aim at so many targets, from such a low angle, that it's bound to score a few hits. Indeed, two or three set-ups and/or pay-offs deliver big laughs, and the atmosphere is friendly and convivial. Too often, however, Lottery Ticket relies on overly-roasted chestnuts and stale Sunday school lessons, with an occasional "naughty" moment scattered in for good measure. Your chance of enjoying the film in its entirety, therefore, is about 185 million to 1.
Those are the odds given in the movie for buying the winning lottery ticket in a drawing to give away $370 million. Everyone in the
Kevin owns dozens of carefully-tended sneakers and dreams of owning his own shoe design company one day. He's a good kid who looks after his loving grandmother (Loretta Devine), enjoys the loyalty of his best friend Benny (Brandon T. Jackson), is respectful and polite to all his neighbors, and even runs errands for old Mr. Washington (Ice Cube), a recluse who hasn't emerged from his basement apartment in many years. Kevin is frustrated, though, that he can't see a way clear to attend college, like his comely, platonic friend Stacie (Naturi Naughton). When will his dreams come true?
Review: Tales From Earthsea
Filed under: Animation, Foreign Language, Sci-Fi & Fantasy, New Releases, Disney, Theatrical Reviews, New in Theaters
It's interesting to discover that Tales From Earthsea, the latest Studio Ghibli title to be distributed by Disney, was originally released in 2006. Especially since it seems like in four years, someone could have found a way to make its story a little more interesting. (But then again, maybe that's why it took four years to get shown in the States.)
Operating enthusiastically on the liberal side of the divide between casual viewers of Japanese animation and diehard anime (and more specifically, Miyazaki) fans, Tales From Earthsea is every bit as beautiful and well-rendered as its predecessors. But its pastoral, unhurried approach to adapting Ursula K. Le Guin's final two novels in the Earthsea series feels about as exciting as if Peter Jackson had decided to shoot the Lord of the Rings trilogy from the point of view of the tree people, the Ents, only to smash cut to the action at Mordor at the last minute in order to provide a too-late dramatic payoff to their glacial indecision.
Review: Vampires Suck
Filed under: Comedy, Theatrical Reviews, 20th Century Fox
Quick! Think of the first Twilight joke that pops into your head! Was it about sparkling vampires? Maybe it was about shirtless werewolves? Either way, congratulations! You are now a professional screenwriter, on the same level as the writers of Vampires Suck, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (the writing-directing pair who brought us Epic Movie and Disaster Movie).
Let me get the positives out of the way first -- Vampires Suck represents a small step forward for the pair: actually channeling their anti-creative energies on one specific target, the overwhelmingly popular Twilight Saga film series. Because of this, they've actually challenged themselves as filmmakers. They've moved away from the usual pop culture parade that's more costume catalog than cinema ("I'm Miley Cyrus!", "I'm Iron Man!", "I'm Britney Spears!" -- all typical dialogue from their previous films, as lookalikes parade onto the screen only to have cows or meteors or whatnot fall on their heads with a bonk, immediately after their introduction). Here, Friedberg and Seltzer are forced to write actual gags instead of lazy flash-in-the-pan referencing.
Now, however, having seen Vampires Suck, I'm not sure which is worse.
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