Yes, yes, I'm still in Austin. I'm like that annoying loser who refuses to leave the party even though your girlfriend is clearly vacuuming and it's slowly getting sunny outside. (I actually stayed a few days longer so I could visit with some good friends, if you must know!) Anyway, it just dawned on me that even though we've brought you tons of SXSW coverage, you're still missing out on one very important component: The intro shorts! Every festival has 'em. They're brief mini-flicks that introduce the festival, credit the sponsors, and basically set the tone for the screening. (Sometimes.)

SXSW has always had some good "intro shorts" (my favorite is an old, strange one with Jeff Goldblum), but this year they were particularly amusing. They were put together by Mike Mitchell, Kent Osborne, Dan Brown, and Charlie Sotelo (among others) -- and through the magical power of "embedding," you can enjoy them without visiting some grungy other website. We'll start with my favorite:


Obviously this is a spoof of good ol' Glengarry Glen Ross, but by the time the film festival was winding down, me and my movie-geek posse were quoting this short non-stop and chuckling like morons. ("Brass balls!" Ha!) Check out the rest of the promos right after the jump!

Directed and co-written by Roland Emmerich, who's previously given us Stargate, Independence Day, Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 B.C. offers audiences the prospect of epic action on a canvas as broad as human history; what it delivers is another matter entirely. In an age where computer-generated effects make spectacle possible, and audiences reward blood-and-thunder films like Gladiator and 300 at the box office, greenlighting 10,000 B.C. must have seemed logical. I can imagine someone pitching the film, to paraphrase Team America: World Police, by saying "It's like 300 .... plus 9,700!"

But as Emmerich's films have always demonstrated, suggesting that spectacle can make up for weak storytelling is like suggesting that having a great haircut can make up for being born without a skeleton. And, so it is in 10,000 B.C., where a variety of off-the-rack plot points and generic heroic journeys are decorated with computer-generated baubles like wooly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers and massed mobs, shiny hollow Christmas ornaments hung on a bare, ruined tree. Emmerich co-wrote 10,000 B.C. with Harald Klosser and put an army of technicians to work on the movie, but the end result simply feels like threads and themes and moments borrowed from other films.

In the midst of all the speculation regarding the big-screen version of Watchmen, the musical score probably wasn't all that high on the list -- but it can be just as important. As any moviegoer knows, sometimes the music can make or break a movie (for a good example of how music can ruin a flick, look no further than The Perfect Storm or The Last Samurai). ComingSoon.net is reporting that Tyler Bates has been signed to compose the score for the film.

As any fan-boy can tell you, Watchmen is Zack Snyder's adaptation of Alan Moore and David Gibbons classic graphic novel. The story is set in a fictional New York in the 80s where "masked vigilantes" have affected the events of everything from the Vietnam War to Watergate. Over the last year, the rumors flew fast and furious about the cast until Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Patrick Wilson were all officially announced.

Tyler Bates started his career back in 1993, when he wrote the music for a sci-fi B-movie called Blue Flame. By 1997, he had already released his own album with his band Pet, but the album failed to become a hit and he has been in the movie business ever since. Bates has a long standing relationship with director Zack Snyder, having done the score for 300 and Dawn of the Dead. Snyder was quoted as saying that Baker's Bates' score for 300, "...moves the film into mythology cauterizing the images as you view them, making them something they could never be alone." So, I guess he is looking for the same kind of magic for the equally mythic story of Watchmen.

Want to know a dirty little secret?

Contrary to what you've heard recently, critics hate writing bad reviews.

No, they're not fun to write; they're exhausting. No, they're not less work than a good review; they're more difficult. And when you love movies -- which you better, as a critic -- you don't sit down in the dark before a film and think, "Boy, I hope the next two hours of my life will be wasted." But every movie is not, in fact, good -- and these were the high marks among the low points in 2007, from one critic's highly subjective perspective.

1. The Heartbreak Kid

Racist, sexist, misogynist -- and, even worse, not funny. The Farrelly Brothers proved their "King Midas in reverse" touch by turning a classic piece of comedy gold into a lump of trash. The only possible bright side comes in the fact that the Farrelly's status as box-office kings has now been tarnished, hopefully hastening their slide to straight-to-video film making.

When it comes to lists, Cinematical likes to keep things brief. Some of you think the alliterative Cinematical Seven is a bit too small when it comes to movie lists. I can't count the times I've been asked to up my list to 10 to add a few here or there, which is why I try to refrain from titling them with words like "best." There is always something missing. However, I imagine it would be harder to miss something if you upped the count to 50, and make it a list spanning only one year. Yes, this is what Moviefone has done. Out of the few hundred movies that were released this year, they've come up with their Top 50 of 2007.

Starting off the list is Transformers, which our own Erik Davis described as "one of the biggest, baddest action flicks we've seen in a long time." From there, well, you can guess most of the films that made the list -- they're the big blockbusters that people flocked to, like 300, and the art flicks smaller groups raved about, like Lars and the Real Girl. Of course, I don't know if I'd keep all of the contenders in this best-of list (Hairspray); however, we're not talking about a list of 10, so not every film can be wondrous. The list is mainly North American offerings, although you will spot a few of the international biggies like The Lives of Others and Lust, Caution.

Check out the list and weigh in: did they get it right? Are there some glaring omissions? Travesties that shouldn't be on any list with the word "best" in it?

There's a continuing debate about whether or not computer-animated films should be eligible for visual effects awards. But despite the fine line seen by some, others are quick to point out that many effects artists have the same function on Surf's Up as they do on Spider-Man. To them, it should come as quite a triumph that the Oscar shortlist for the visual effects category includes two animated films, Ratatouille and Beowulf. According to the Hollywood Reporter, they join 13 other effects-heavy movies, including definite front-runners Transformers, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and Spider-Man 3. The trade points out, however, that this is not the first time animated films have joined the effects race. Back in 1994, The Nightmare Before Christmas was one of the three nominees (against Cliffhanger and obvious winner Jurassic Park).

The animated effect issue is different now, though, then it was 14 years ago. Animated films now have their own Oscar category, and it's fair to say that is the place to recognize Ratatouille and Beowulf (actually Beowulf shouldn't be recognized at all). Typically movies nominated in the visual effects category are popular blockbusters that wouldn't otherwise receive notice from the Academy. Until there's an Oscar for best sci-fi/fantasy or action movie, this is one of the best ways for a little movie like Transformers to be put in the spotlight. Sure, I'm being sarcastic, but nonetheless I like the category being the place for those movies actually seen by the majority of Oscar telecast viewers.

Lots of people say that it isn't easy buying gifts for people, but I have to disagree. Unless you have almost zero contact with a person, it's easy to just keep a few mental notes about their likes and find a gift that's at least moderately suitable. But with the advent of the Internet and a sweet little service called eBay, it became ridiculously easy to put in less effort and get even better gifts -- especially for the rabid movie geek. The site is a veritable smorgasbord of movie memorabilia. Remember a few key words from past conversations, and you can come up with tongue-twisting gifting greatness -- memorable movie memorabilia.

Yeah, some of it is beyond ridiculously-priced. I'm still bummed that I couldn't buy a few Buffy auction pieces a few years ago when the show ended, but not all of it is made for Mr. or Ms. Moneybags. There's also funky Buy it Now stuff, and little trinkets from films that never come close to the dreaded 4-figures. What follows is a list of current auction goodies that could make you the best Santa ever. Some are always available, others are rare, funky finds, and all of it is something that'd be special and unique. And remember -- be a smart bidder.

Detergent Container from Superbad - Auction Ends 12/19

Who knows how pricey this item will get when it hits its end date on December 19, but as I'm writing this on Saturday morning, it's current $10.50. Sure, that price is guaranteed to go up, but it's still a heck of a cheap price for a highly-recognizable prop from this summer's best comedy. Team this puppy with a picture of Jonah Hill running with the detergent containers and the prop's certificate of authenticity, and you'll become a gift-giving God to any fan of Judd Apatow, Hill, and all that is Superbad.

Slant Magazine has put out its twin top ten lists for this year, and while I have some serious concerns about those lists -- they couldn't find room for Paul Verhoeven's masterpiece even in the honorable mention category! -- their superlatives boxes are some of the funniest I've seen anywhere. Here's a few of my favorites from their list: Most Homoerotic Use of a Computer goes to 300. Worst Performance By an Inanimate Object goes to Titus Welliver's mustache in Gone, Baby, Gone. I have to agree with that one. Worst Use of CGI goes to Jack Nicholson's skydiving scene in The Bucket List. And my absolute personal favorite of them all: Dramatic Climax Best Suited for a WWE Storyline goes to The Kite Runner. If you haven't seen it, you'll know exactly what that means when you do.

By the way, I've noticed that Slant has also jumped on the bandwagon of delivering high, if left-handed praise for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. In his original review, Ed Gonzalez said the movie was "so completely and violently divorced from any normal concept of narrative thinking it becomes Dadaesque." Now, the Slant duo have given the film a prominent mention in their year-end wrap-up for its "avant-garde insanity." I recently heard about another well-known critic who is seriously mulling the possibility of including Aqua Teen in his top ten list for the year. When he told me, I honestly thought he was joking but now I see it's not just him. Although it never occurred to me before, now I think I actually have to see this movie. It sounds like I'm missing out on something.

300 fans (and if the Cinematical reader comments are any indication, that would be all of you), take note. Variety is reporting that much of the creative team behind that "abs n' stabs" action extravaganza is reuniting for a new film called The Last Photograph. Photograph is based on an original idea by 300 director Zack Snyder, and is billed as a drama about "a photograph that becomes the catalyst for a journey two men undertake through war-torn Afghanistan." 300 co-screenwriter Kurt Johnstad will write the film for Snyder to possibly direct. The producers of the film intend to develop the film and then put it up for auction.

Reading between the lines of the Variety article, it seems like Snyder wants to direct the project, but doesn't know if he'll have time. And he doesn't know if he'll have time because he's involved with, like, everything! He's currently shooting the highly anticipated Watchmen (check out an update from Snyder on the film's progress here). He intends to direct an adaptation of Ray Bradbury's The Illustrated Man (read more about that project here). He may direct Army of the Dead, a "zombies in Vegas" flick you can learn more about right here. And he's co-writing and might direct an action fantasy film called Sucker Punch (which you can read more about here). Though I admired the look of the film, I was no fan of 300. On the other hand, I really loved Snyder's remake of Dawn of the Dead. So consider me cautiously optimistic about all the Snyder in our future.

Though we've had a slew of zombies and demons shoveled down our throats over the past few days, is there any way to create a new flick that keeps things fresh? Wait -- I know -- how about we take a bunch of zombies, demons and "other bad guys," and have them square off against Santa Claus!? Not only that, but we'll get the dudes behind 300 to make the flick, hoping they'll put the jolly fat man in an outfit that's just a tad more revealing than we need it to be. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on who you talk to), I'm not kidding about the above. The Hollywood Reporter tells us Hollywood Gang (the shingle behind 300) has optioned the rights to the graphic novel The Last Christmas, which was written by actor-comedian Brian Posehn and Gerry Duggan.

In it, Santa Claus turns his back on Christmas for whatever reason (I imagine the salary kind of sucks when you're giving everything away for free), but when he finally decides to emerge from seclusion, "he has to find a way to save the world, and Christmas, from being overrun by demons, zombies and other bad guys." So what are they trying to say here? What's the message? Without Santa Claus, our entire planet would be f**ked? Seems that way. I can't imagine this graphic novel is serious in tone (if you've read it, please speak up), but it's definitely garnered my interest ... if only because I'd like to see Santa rip the head off a zombie and use it to kill a demon -- something tells me the kids would love it! No writer is onboard to adapt at this time, so we'll have to wait and see the route they eventually decide to take. What do you think about this one (the cover completely rocks, by the way)?

Over at quigspot.com is a listing of what the blogger deems the "Ten Most Obnoxiously Overquoted Movies." He says in the intro: "Nothing makes a great movie suck like people quoting it day in and day out for months at a time. It's the go-to route used by individuals who aren't clever enough to come up with their own material, made worse by them thinking (thanks to the select few that laughed at their referencing) they've suddenly become the most hilarious stand-up comedian since George Carlin." I agree to some extent, but while it's true that quoting movies is not the most enlightened form of comedy, it can be a lot of fun. The key is to stick to obscure quotes -- avoid "Luke, I am your father" and "Say hello to my little friend." At a party, an obscure quote that someone else recognizes can help you recognize a kindred spirit, and snag you a new friend or even a romance. Still, there are some movies that get quoted far too frequently, and it becomes particularly hard to deal with once they're embraced by the "frat guy" crowd, as almost all of quigspot's choices are.

The ten selected overquoted films are: 10) Office Space (good call, but the boss' voice is just too much fun to do. Quoting this one simply has to be done sometimes, especially in an office setting), 9) Monty Python movies (disagree -- I don't hear Python quotes much these days), 8) Wedding Crashers (definitely getting obnoxious, especially at bars), 7) Anything with Samuel L. Jackson (Snakes on a Plane, absolutely), 6) The 40 Year-Old Virgin (maybe, but when the lines are that funny, who can argue?), 5) Anchorman (see #6, although "I'm kind of a big deal" has reached the end of the line), 4) The Austin Powers series (yup), 3) Borat (Should have been #1 -- some guy dressed as Borat at a Halloween party I attended stayed in character the entire night and almost drove me to murder), 2) Napoleon Dynamite (absolutely) and the choice for the #1 most obnoxiously overquoted movie is ... 300.

Movies I'm guilty of quoting? 1) Wayne's World -- whenever anybody orders Chinese food, I can't resist throwing in "I'll have the cream of sum yung guy." I'm also a fan of "If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick." 2) The Naked Gun series. Endless possibilities really, but my favorite is "Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes." 3) Raising Arizona and The Big Lebowski -- literally every line of both is gold. Which movies do you love to quote? And which movies do you think get quoted too frequently?

It was a little over a year ago that a feature film version of the highly successful MMORPG, World of Warcraft was announced. Now, Kotaku is reporting from the Blizzcon 07 that Paul Sams and Chris Metzen from Blizzard Entertainment along with the chief creative officer from Legendary Pictures hosted a panel event to field questions from fans and provide some updates about the film. While details were scarce, there were a few pieces of information for the die-hard fans attending the event.

The fantasy game has been around since 1994, and today counts nine million players worldwide, so you can imagine the pressure is on to please fans; nobody wants to be the guy who screws up one of the most popular game franchises in history. No mention was made of a director, but they did confirm that the film was going to be live action but they had yet to decide just how much CGI was going to be involved. Considering the success Legendary had with 300, you couldn't blame them for wanting to give the green screen another go.

Kotaku also reports Metzen confirmed that "Warcraft is still in the scripting process, but that they have something that they're happy with. Further details were kept under wraps but Metzen told the crowd it would take place about a year before the events of World of Warcraft. Metzen was also quoted as saying that the script will be "principally told from the Alliance perspective." Legendary is still aiming for a 2009 release date, so stay tuned for any updates as they come our way.

Probably the most influential comic book to come out of the last 20 years is Alan Moore's Watchmen. It was one of the first series to ever really explore the characters behind the masks, a trend which is now a mainstay of current comic books. In 2005, TIME Magazine named it one of the 100 best English-language novels to come out since 1923, a pretty stellar feat for a comic book. It's often been considered, alongside Neil Gaiman's Sandman series to be the holy grail of the comic book realm, and as such has had a troubled history coming to the big screen.

Hopefully, Zack Snyder in the director's seat will put that history to rest, as he is approaching the project with an almost fanboy-like obsession to detail, which is just what this project demands. He even contacted Dave Gibbons, artist on the original series, and he created the teaser poster you see Zack posing with in the photo above. It's things like this the fanboys and fangirls appreciate, and after listening to the interview, I hope you can rest assured that the project is in good hands. Coming off a hot movie called 300, which you might have seen, can't hurt either.

We've got the audio to back up his claims. Click on Zack to listen, and as usual you can find the highlights below.

• "One of the things I think is important about Watchmen is that it have resonance within cinematic pop culture as well as superhero culture. Because I believe there's a relationship between Rorschach and Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver."
• On the amount of detail in the film: "Even just as small of things as when Rorschach burns the S.W.A.T. cops with hairspray, we were sitting around and they showed me some hairsprays, some ratty hairspray cans, and I go the labels are wrong. They're like "what do you mean?" I [flip through my reference materials], and say 'see?' You could do that with every single thing in the movie.
• "We have to make sure we won't be burned at the stake for heresy after we make the movie."
• On running time for the film: "I don't have a time frame right now. I think it's running pretty long right now - it's about 130-140 page script, not counting "The Black Freighter". "The Black Freighter" (an essential subplot from the comic) is about 16 or 17 pages as a script."

First, the good news: Zack Snyder's 300 arrives today on DVD, where its amazing visual scheme meshes more seamlessly in the home digital realm than it did with that pesky analog film element getting in the way. Like a more colorful, daylit Sin City, Snyder lacquers a computer-generated sheen over the film, thereby rendering the humans and the special effects on the same plane. No more actors glossily staring into the distance while an imaginary bad guy hovers over them; now everyone plays on an equal field. To that end, Snyder wisely avoids the usual shaky-cam technique that most directors use for their action sequences. Generally, untrained, untalented directors use this to purposely obscure their action sequences, lest the audience realize that they don't know what they're doing. With complete control of every blow, slice and decapitation, Snyder shoots with a clean, slick, almost graceful energy, highlighting and celebrating the movement of battle. My hope is that, if this movie inspires anyone to do anything, it will be to give up the shaky-cam forever and shoot more action sequences this clearly.

Onto the bad news: 300 is dangerously stupid, and its overwhelming popularity takes a disturbing x-ray of the country's mood at the moment. Its painful dialogue -- by Snyder, Kurt Johnstad and Michael B. Gordon, based on Frank Miller and Lynn Varley's comic book -- blurts forth with a swaggering, self-important bluster, like so many humorless frat boys challenging one another at drinking contests. Everything that's said comes across as earth-shatteringly important, as if these characters from the year B.C. 480 were fully aware of how they would place in history books (even though, arguably, none of them ever saw a history book). To be certain of that, David Wenham is on hand as a soldier who narrates the tale with pomp and bravado. It's a pretty simplistic tortoise-versus-hare story: three hundred Spartan warriors, led by King Leonidas (Gerard Butler), face off against thousands of Persian soldiers, led by the evil Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro). The bravery of the few manages (for the most part) to ward off the arrogance of the many.

Well, Comic-Con hasn't even "officially" started yet (although it is Preview Night right now) and already there's some fantastic Comic Book-related casting news to bring you. According to the Hollywood Reporter, casting for most of the roles in director Zack Snyder's upcoming adaptation of Alan Moore and David Gibbons' classic graphic novel, the award-winning Watchmen, have just been announced.

So, who will be playing your favorite characters like Rorschach, Ozymandias, Silk Spectre and Dr. Manhattan? Well, according to the article, here's what we can expect in the way of casting: Jackie Earle Haley will be playing Walter Kovachs (aka Rorschach), Billy Crudup will play Dr. Manhattan, Matthew Goode has been cast as Adrian Veidt (aka Ozymandias), Jeffrey Dean Morgan will play the Comedian and Malin Ackerman will play Laurie Juspeczyk (aka Silk Spectre).

With all the buildup to this movie and with all the casting rumors being bandied about of late, its great to finally have some definitive answers. Although, I'm not sure how much I love some of the casting choices. I was still sorta interested in seeing Keanu Reeves as Dr. Manhattan back when that was among the rumors. I thought he would have made an interesting choice. Still, with Snyder's track record of late, I guess we should give him the benefit of the doubt here -- at least until we see some more of the film. If it starts to not look so good at that point, then we can start complaining.