AChristmasStory Tagged Articles at Cinematical

With all the different holidays in December, I'm sure a good majority of you received at least one gift at some point in the last week or so. And seeing as most of the folks who read this blog are serious movie nerds, we're guessing your gift(s) were related to movies in some way, shape or form. Perhaps you took our advice and purchased something from our should-be-award-winning Holiday Movie Junk series (which, due to its popularity, will continue into the new year under the title Movie Junk), or maybe you did your own research and smoked out a tasty little movie-related treat so random and so absurd that you're just dying to share it with someone else.

Me? I didn't get much. The only movie-related thing I really asked for was A Christmas Story on Blu-ray, which I received, but haven't watched yet. Like most of you, we kept our spending to a minimum this year. But I'm curious to hear what cool movie-related gear you all received. Let us know in the comments section below -- and try to tell us where it's from if it isn't obvious.

(This month we're bringing back some of our favorite holiday-related posts, as well as sharing some new ones. Happy Holidays!)

By: Erik Davis (reprinted from December 24th, 2006)

There's only one rule in my house come Christmas Day: I don't care who's coming over, how many gifts there are to open, what kind of food is being prepared or whether there's indeed any snow to shovel. Nope. I could care less. And look, there are tons of wonderful Christmas-related flicks that exist today -- some more memorable than others -- that people enjoy and attempt to watch as the magical holiday draws near.

Me? I don't watch Miracle on 34th Street or It's a Wonderful Life. Nope, on Christmas there's only one film that's allowed on my television -- a film that must remain on my boob tube for 24 hours straight ... or else someone gets punched: A Christmas Story. This is my film. I own it for one day. Sure, my family might think I'm a bit nuts ... at first, but by the eighth or ninth time it's on, there's a crowd. People are laughing, spitting out quotes and remembering past Christmas events -- loved ones who have passed on and memories that are only sparked because of this film. Because of this odd rule I force everyone around me to follow. And so it goes. Here are 24 reasons to watch all 24 hours of A Christmas Story on Christmas Day ...

"You'll shoot your eye out!"

When I was writing about that list of 12 (not 10) things you might not know about A Christmas Story, I did a bit of surfing around the Christmas Story Official House website where I found all sorts of goodies related to the film. Not only did I learn about an auction where you could bid on and win a chance to sleep in the Christmas Story house on Christmas Eve (winning bid was somewhere around five grand), but they also have a shop with stuff to purchase. Like, um, an actual Red Ryder BB gun. Sweet!

To celebrate the film's 25th Anniversary, they're selling this limited edition A Christmas Dream BB gun. From the site: "For the 25th Anniversary of "A Christmas Story" that very same design "A Christmas Dream" can be yours. Packaged in a retro Red Ryder box with a custom sticker and certificate of authenticity, all of the graphics are engraved. A compass, marked with a brushed silver-tone metal rim, is recessed next to the engraved sundial. A silver band around the stock commemorates the Silver Anniversary of "A Christmas Story." On the right side of the stock, the Red Ryder logo includes the Fred Harman signature and the forearm is marked with the edition number, from 1 to 1500."

Some states do not allow the sale of BB guns or air guns, so you'll have to stop by the site to see whether you're legally allowed to purchase one. If not, there's tons of other merch -- like the famous leg lamp, a decoder ring and more. Check out the entire collection over here.

I'm sure it's a tradition in your family to watch A Christmas Story at least once during the holiday season. As the film has grown in popularity over the years, folks have gone out of their way to cherish it -- like that dude who bought the original house in Cleveland and turned it into a museum. There was an actual Christmas Story fan convention this year, too, and I'm sure more than a few kids will try to stick their tongues to something cold this winter ... just to see if it really sticks. (Warning: Yes, kids, it will really stick.)

Over at Mental Floss, they put together a list of 10 things you might not know about A Christmas Story. And as someone who thought he knew everything there was to know about this flick, I was pleasantly surprised to find some very cool tidbits in there. Like, for example, I did not know Jack Nicholson was originally up to play the part of the father. Yup. And, while I knew about one cruddy sequel, there were actually two! And one starred Jerry O'Connell as Ralphie! What about this: Did you know The Wonder Years was inspired by A Christmas Story? Not only that, but in one of the episodes, Peter Billingsley (Ralphie) plays one of Kevin Arnold's roommates. Very cool.

Check out the entire list over here. What's your favorite part of A Christmas Story? (Ahem, I like the Tin Man ...)

Clockwise from top left: Get Smart, Transsiberian, Kung Fu Panda, Budd Boetticher Box Set, Planet of the Apes 40th Anniversary Collection.

Welcome to this week's edition of Spin-ematical, chock full of alternatives to election coverage!

Kung Fu Panda
Though some of the celebrity voices were useless, Jack Black is great, and the film itself is pleasant, good-natured, and respectful of Asian culture. Available in at least seven editions, including widescreen, full-screen, Spanish, a Christmas gift set, with and without Secrets of the Furious Five (a 20-minute short), and on Blu-ray; oddly, this doesn't release until Sunday. Buy it.

Transsiberian
Traveling by train in the dead of winter from Beijing to Moscow should be much more restful than what happens to Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer in this adventure / suspense / thriller; Ben Kingsley plays a menacing Russian detective. I'm recommending this one sight unseen because Brad Anderson (Session 9, The Machinist) directed. Includes a 34-minute "making of"; also available on Blu-ray. Replays are inevitable. Buy it.

Get Smart
The bumbling Maxwell Smart as a generic action hero? (*sigh*) Steve Carell makes the character his own by repeating the old catchphrases without enthusiasm and proving to be far too adept for his own -- or the movie's -- good. Anne Hathaway is a very sexy spy, but Dwayne Johnson is miscast and even Alan Arkin struggles. The TV series never took itself too seriously; if only the movie had done the same. Available in widescreen and full-screen editions, as well as a two-disk version and on Blu-ray; a plethora of bonus scenes are included, notably a 5-minute "vomit reel." Ugh. Skip it.

After the jump ... Indies on DVD, more Blu-ray debuts, and Collector's Corner.

...and by SEs I mean big, fat, loaded mega-special editions of the studio's most popular stuff. And when WB delivers a Special Edition, they generally don't mess around. (Unlike some home video distributors *koff Universal* who throw the SE term around willy-nilly.) Just a quick scan through my mega-awesome DVD collection reveals WB SEs like Goodfellas, Dirty Harry, Amadeus, The Shawshank Redemption, Blade Runner, Superman, and a whole bunch more. If there's a catalog title you love, you should pray it gets the WB 2-disc SE treatment.

And a bunch more are on the way! According to Video Business, WB plans to double its SE output moving forward, and while we don't have any specs just yet, we do know that the following titles will be available (in fancy form) later this year: 300 (yes already, even though I thought the first 2-discer was pretty damn excellent), Casablanca (also again, but if any film deserves it...), A Christmas Story (cool!), JFK (a movie I need to see again), and I Am Legend. Come to think of it, all five of these movies already have Special Edition releases! These new discs better be pretty dang impressive.

Also on the way: The Peanuts Complete Holiday Collection. Which I definitely will own.

In Drillbit Taylor (which opens tomorrow), three kids hire a low-budget bodyguard (Owen Wilson) to help protect them from the school's bully. This got us thinking: What are some of the great on-screen bullies? Those kids you just love to root against because they're written extremely well, offer up top-notch performances and/or remind you of someone from your past. A bully is different from your average movie villain -- they don't tend to carry lethal weapons, or run with a group of deadly terrorists. These are just regular kids with a little too much power thrown their way. Your run-of-the-mill Hollywood bully usually hangs with a group of about two of three of the same sex; guys or girls who don't have many lines, and serve only to make the main bully appear tougher.

Ideally, a great movie bully should have one or more of the following: 1) At least three classic lines. 2) A memorable downfall. 3) Hottie girlfriend or boyfriend. 4.) A name that just says it all.

We put our heads together and came up with seven of the greatest bullies on film. Check them out after the jump ...

"Ho, ho, but no matter. Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved."

I tried that once. Only I didn't have the guts to stick my tongue to a flagpole, so instead I tried repeatedly to stick my tongue to the metal plate inside my parents' freezer. I was a kid who had just watched A Christmas Story more than five times over the Christmas holiday, and I wanted to see if my tongue would stick. No one else was around to egg me on -- and though I grew up with kids like Flick and Schwartz, I was determined to go at this one alone. So my tongue ... yeah, it didn't stick. Well maybe for a second or two, but that was it. If it was any other time of year, I probably wouldn't have tried it. But, for a kid, Christmas is heaven. Knowing the holiday is approaching brings a jolt of life to the kid spirit; they're invincible, nothing can stop them. Trying to decide what you want for Christmas, as a kid, is also the most important decision you'll make all year. No job, no mortgage or rent to pay, no wife or girlfriend or family to buy presents for. Nope. Your only responsibility is to anticipate great things to come. And no other movie captures that mindset, that energy, that love for life better than Bob Clark's A Christmas Story.

Starting in just a couple hours from now, TBS will air this movie for 24 hours straight; a yearly tradition for the television station. In my house, these are the rules: We must leave the TV on when we fall asleep, and the set must be tuned into A Christmas Story. I attempt to watch the first half before I fall asleep, and then I time it to wake up and watch the second half before the wife, dog and I hop out of bed and open presents. I do this (and the wife just goes along because I'm nuts and she doesn't have the time nor patience to argue my insanity) because after all the shopping, the hustling, the re-arranging and the spending of money I'd rather save, this film helps raise my spirits, helps me prepare for the onslaught of Christmas dinners to follow and it brings me back to that time as a kid when the cold, the lights and the tree meant we were in store for something special. To a kid, that something special is a gift; a reward for being young and full of glee. To an adult, that something special is togetherness; a bonding moment with the ones you love.

Wonderful as the classic family Christmas movies can be, the overwhelming sugary sweetness in most of them can be a little off-putting to adult audiences. I know my friends tend to gravitate more towards the R-rated holiday fare -- Die Hard, Bad Santa, The Ref, etc. Lord knows Hollywood doesn't want to be bothered coming up with original ideas, so I'm proposing seven remakes of Christmas family classics -- souped up for 2008 and aimed at the 17+ crowd. I've set up the plots and even suggested a possible director for each. Enjoy...

Michael Moore's A Christmas Carol

In Michael Moore's return to narrative filmmaking, George W. Bush plays with his shiny new train set, sets out cookies for Santa Claus, and falls asleep in his footie pajamas while watching Power Rangers. He is awoken in the middle of the night by The Ghost of Christmas Past, who takes Georgie through his days of frat parties, draft dodging, drunk driving, and cocaine abuse. Even faced with hard evidence, Bush denies any involvement. The Ghost of Christmas Present takes Bush deep into a post-Katrina New Orleans, where Bush cracks jokes and enjoys some caramel corn. Stunned by Bush's lack of feeling, the ghost takes him to Iraq, where he sees what Christmas is like for U.S. soldiers. Bush yawns. He is sleepy. The Ghost of Christmas Future shows Bush a world ravaged by the effects of global warming and America hated by countries all across the globe. "Not real concerned about my legacy, Future Dude" chuckles Bush, and he falls asleep safe in his bed. Bush wakes up twelve hours later, having learned absolutely nothing. As the movie ends, he runs over a homosexual couple with his truck and kicks a sick orphan in the face.

I entirely sympathize with people that complain about the press (or bloggers or fanboys or "the Internet community") over-hyping certain movies because I feel the same way about holiday flicks in general. It's like the "Small World" ride/attraction at Disneyland: the first time you hear "It's a Small World," you think, "OK, fairly inoffensive little song, nice message, good for the kids" but by the end of the ride -- and the 50 millionth rendition -- you want to take a baseball bat to all the speakers in the vicinity and, oh yeah, smash yourself over the head too, to properly bid the song good riddance.

That's just me, though. I realize I may be walking out onto a plank solo with my choices, but these are the holiday movies for which I've developed an unreasoning, out of proportion hatred -- the mere mention of which drives me insane. In some cases I've tried to watch them, sometimes repeatedly, to see what others enjoy so much, but I'm afraid it's a lost cause. Apologies in advance if you're offended; please don't take it as a rejection of your values, morals, or good sense. These are not reviews, they are notes on films I couldn't finish or simply hate on principle. For the record, I don't have a knee-jerk reaction to ALL holiday movies, or movies set during the holidays; I came to enjoy most of It's a Wonderful Life (up to that sentimental ending with James Stewart running down the street), and really dig The Nightmare Before Christmas, Gremlins, Die Hard, and Lethal Weapon.

1. A Christmas Story

I've tried, I've tried, I've tried. I've started at the beginning, I've come back in the middle, I've come back near the end, and the charms of this film still elude me. All due respect to the late Jean Sheperd, but how does his voice not drive you folks up the wall? To me, he sounds like nails on a chalkboard. And he never shuts up! Combined with the kid's unrelenting desire for a BB gun, it just seems to me like one long whine for a present. In general, the tone is far too precious for me. Maybe I heard too many stories from my father about growing up in poverty during the 1930s to enjoy a warm-hearted family tale set in the 1940s. (For an entirely different perspective, read why my boss thinks you should watch it for 24 hours straight.)