Once in awhile I come across little stories that are relevant to this column that don't necessarily call for so many words of commentary. But it's a shame to skip over them, so occasionally, I'd like to break The Exhibitionist up a bit and write about a few of them at once.


The first thing that caught my attention this week was a report of a study focused on ambient lighting, such as the kind used in cinemas. According to research conducted by academics at the University of Cumbria in England, and at University College Dublin in Ireland, movies should be viewed in rooms that are as well lit as the movies themselves. So, yes, that means your local multiplex has the lights dimmed way too low.

But, you wonder, isn't it dark in theaters because we can see the movie much better that way? And when we're at home don't we turn out the lights, or, when it's daytime, close the shades for the same reason? Well, yes, but incorrectly so, say Cumbria's Professor David Manning and UCD's Professor Patrick Brennan. Their findings indicate that such darkness actually hinders the eye's ability to see at optimum capability. "Ideally, ambient light should be adapted to the brightness of the screen for the eye to pick up as much detail as it can," Manning said. "However, most people prefer to watch films in a darkened room, but as the eye adapts to the surrounding light these conditions may not be conducive to picking up maximum visual detail."

OK, this has gone waaaay out of control, but in a hilariously awesomely geeky way. It started with a sold-out midnight screening of the undeniably (hysterically) awful Troll 2 -- which led to an as-yet-unfinished documentary feature called Best Worst Movie -- which led to ... man oh man is this crazy. Turns out that Morgan, Utah is where "Nilbog" was created for Troll 2 ... so it only stands to reason that the Best Worst Movie crew and the Alamo Drafthouse Rolling Roadshow lunatics would join forces and bring Nilbog back to life.

I'm including the Alamo's full and complete press release after the jump, but here's a quick recap of the impending festivities: Screenings of Troll (1986), Troll 2 (1990), The Crawlers (1990, aka Troll 3), Quest for the Mighty Sword (1990, aka The Hobgoblin, aka Troll 3), Beyond Darkness (1990, aka House 5) -- some of which have NEVER been seen before! Oh, and there will be panel discussions and meals with the cast and crew members, fan flick contests, dances, parties, eating competitions, and approximately 214 additional insane activities. All in the name of wonderfully inept filmmaking that's so much fun to watch it almost feels dirty.

The date: June 27 - 29. The place: Nilbog (aka Morgan, Utah). The expense: Event packages start at a mere $40. For a whole LOT more information, check out the full press release below. And remember: You don't wee-wee on hospitality like this!

I find it kind of interesting -- no, funny, actually -- that while tons of movie fans were down in Austin for SXSW, enjoying the greatest cinema experience available, at the Alamo Drafthouse (Ritz and South Lamar), exhibitors from all over the country were piling into Las Vegas for ShoWest, the annual convention and trade show, where discussion and conversation often turns to the question, "how can we make moviegoing a better experience and, more importantly, a more lucrative business?"

Maybe some of the suits should have made the trip to SXSW instead, had a beer and a burger (ahem, a Royale with Cheese), and started lobbying their districts, if need be, to begin following the business model of the Alamo. I know that in my state of New York, it's not technically legal to serve alcohol in a cinema, but surely it is part of some antiquated law that needs to be adjusted (like how technically you're not allowed to dance at many bars in NYC).

At last night's raucous midnight world premiere of Dance of the Dead, director Gregg Bishop said in his introduction that he was thrilled to have the film debut at the Alamo Drafthouse. He said it with a certain reverence, like he couldn't believe his luck. Several other filmmakers have echoed those sentiments at past screenings, i.e., that getting your film into the festival is pleasure enough, but having it play at the Alamo is nirvana. And I realized that the Alamo truly sets SXSW apart from most other festivals.

Think about Sundance. They use a dozen or so venues around Park City, Utah. Many of them are perfectly lovely and functional, and one or two even have some local historical or cultural significance. But I can't imagine any filmmaker ever saying, "I'm so glad my movie is having its world premiere at the Eccles Theatre!" None of the venues have any cachet. My impression is that this is the case with most venues at most festivals. Some of them are cool enough, but do you dream of one day premiering your film at that particular place?

But people who make movies -- especially horror flicks and rowdy comedies and other types particularly suited to the Alamo's irreverent attitude -- actually do dream of that. The Alamo really has (and richly deserves) that kind of "cool" status.

What sounds like the more highbrow date? Going to see the artsy film I'm Not There while sitting on a couch, eating a pizza and drinking a cold beer, or going to see the mainstream blockbuster National Treasure: Book of Secrets while sitting in a VIP section with reserved, "luxury seating," eating a "sophisticated entree" and drinking an "elegant martini creation?" Both options feature wait service, great picture quality and the benefit of not having any youths around. In their own way, each is equally lowbrow and highbrow, but depending on your definition of those terms (dumb vs. intelligent; cheap vs. expensive), you might have said one or the other. To me, highbrow is intelligent and intelligent is cheap; so I pick the former, which will cost a whole lot less.

The first option was what you might have experienced this weekend at Oakland, California's Parkway Speakeasy (other movie choices were Before the Devil Knows You're Dead and American Gangster). Your movie ticket would have been a mere $6, your personal cheese pizza a fair $8.50 and your pint of Sierra Nevada only $4.50. The second choice was one of this weekend's offerings at the new Lux Level of Randolph, Massachussetts' Showcase Cinema (the other available movie was I Am Legend). The movie ticket cost $21.25 (you definitely bought it online and paid that $1 service charge), the personal cheese pizza about $8 (I don't see anything on the theater's online menu appropriately considered to be "sophisticated entrée", though other Showcase Cinema menus feature items such as "Bourbon Street Steak Medallions") and your Raspberry Mocha Tini was about $9.

Teens are a pain in the butt at the movies. I'll be the first to admit this. As a theater manager, one of my non-described job requirements was babysitting. But this is a task that sounds easier than it is. For many kids that we would kick out of an auditorium, or have removed from the lobby or parking lot, we would have to deal with angry parents who don't like other people disciplining their sons and daughters. No father wants to hear that his 15-year-old daughter was involved in sexual activity in a movie theater, but if he holds it against the people who discovered her, or against the theater in general, then it's no longer worth the trouble and the complaints. At that point it becomes easier to just let the kids have a run of the place.

Unless you have a laid-out, documented policy against certain activities in your cinema, there exists a problem of how to handle situations. This is probably the reason that some theater chains are in fact making new rules and regulations in order to properly deal with teenagers, who tend to go to the movies just to have a place to hang out, whether they're inside or out. One chain in particular, Kerasotes Theatres, made headlines recently for its controversial ban on teens, who are no longer permitted at late-night shows on Fridays and Saturdays (they call it "Adult Friendly Shows"). Unless they are with a parent and have a special Kerasotes-issued ID card, kids 16 and younger can't attend movies showing after 9pm.

We're adding a new feature on Cinematical Indie: The (Mostly) Indie Film Calendar. Each week, we'll give you a round-up of what's going on in indie film (and sometimes just cool film news and screenings) in cities near you. If you know of cool stuff happening that's related to film -- a local fest, a series of classic restored films, lectures, workshops, open calls for casting of an indie film -- send your tips to me at kim(at)cinematical(dot)com and we'll add them to the calendar.

Here are this week's happenings in film from New York to LA and points in between ...

New York City: This week at Film Forum, you can check out Live-In Maid (showing through July 31), Woody Allen's Manhattan in its last week, and Fritz Lang's Metropolis in a spandy-new 35mm print of the newly restored version! (Oooh, ahhh....). Special events at Film Forum this week include filmmaker Jorge Gaggaro at the 8:10 screening of Live-In Maid tonight AND (get this on your calendar's pronto, director at the 8PM screenings of his Iraq War doc, No End in Sight, next Friday and Saturday, July 27 and 28. I saw No End in Sight at Sundance, and attended a pretty impressive panel discussion of the film as well. It rocks -- don't miss it.

Over at the Walter Reade Theater, you serious film buffs might want to check out the celebration of Woodfall Film Productions, with Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave and Michael Sheen introducing some of the screenings. Check out the full program, it's a really nice lineup. Also at the Walter Reade, tonight at 7PM they have a screening of the restored print of silent film Way Down East. Sunday at 4:30 is an event you won't want to miss: Film Comment Selects Presents has a Norman Mailer event; tix include the 4:30PM screening of Tough Guys Don't Dance, a conversation with Mailer AND a complimentary pass to the 8PM screening of Maidstone -- what a great way to fill up a Sunday!

Los Angeles: Outfest -- the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Film Festival -- is still going on through July 23. There are still lots of films, panels and events going on through the weekend, so check out the schedule on the fest's official website to see what's happening.

Elsewhere in LA, American Cinematheque has the Mods and Rockers Film Fest going on. Friday and Saturday, the Egyptian has an "in-person salute to rock-doc pioneer filmmaker D.A. Pennebaker," with the West Coast premiere of his documentary 65 Revisited, with outtakes from his 1965 classic Don't Look Back. The full schedule can be found right here. Over at the Aero, there's a four-day engagement of David Lynch's Inland Empire, with discussions with "special guests."

Seattle: This weekend at Northwest Film Forum, they're screening June and July, winner of last year's Local Sightings Film Festival. Also, NWFF's Search and Rescue program continues the venue's exploration of 16mm film with a screening of 1964's Nothing But a Man. Coming up July 25 and 26, you can catch a screening of Jacques Tati's 1953 film, Mr. Hulot's holiday. Check out their website for complete schedule of events.

The Seattle International Film Festival may be long over, but the SIFF group is still bringing Seattleites great films all summer long with their SIFF Cinema Summer Series. This weekend through August 2, they're showing Apachatpong Weerasethakul's Syndromes and a Century, Mahamat-Saleh Haroun's Daratt, Bahman Ghobadi's Half Moon, and Tsai Ming-Liang's I Don't Want to Sleep Alone.

Also this weekend in Seattle: On Saturday, July 21 at 2PM, The Film School's Speaker Series, by Warren Etheredge, will host Sandra Nettelbeck, whose film Mostly Martha has been remade into the upcoming No Reservations starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, Aaron Eckhart and Abigail Breslin. Nettlebeck will discuss her film the remake, and what's different between the two. Upcoming on July 28, TFS brings Oscar-nommed director Alex Gibney (Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room) into town to sneak-preview his latest doc, Taxi to the Dark Side, which played at the Tribeca Film Festival. Taxi is about torture practices used by the United States in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay, told through the story of an innocent taxi driver who was tortured and killed in 2002. Gibney's a sharp guy and a solid filmmaker -- that one's a must-see for you Seattle film buffs. Tix for both available at Etheredge's website, The Warren Report.


Austin: This weekend at The Alamo Drafthouse at Lake Creek brings you a special midnight screening of one of my fave Hitchcock films, Rear Window, Daft Punk's Electroma, and a screening for the kids (or those of us who haven't quite grown up yet, Dark Crystal. At the South Lamar location Master Pancake Does Conan -- the Barbarian, natch -- on Wednesday. Plus: The Village location has Rocky Horror Saturday night at 11:PM, so break out your corsets and fishnet stockings! Also, the Village and Lamar locations will have Simpson's Feasts, and the Village location

Dallas: Coming up in Dallas, the Dallas Video Fest runs July 31- August 5. The fest is surprisingly affordable -- all-day passes range from $10 weeknights to $25 weekends. Check out the full schedule and start making your plans now.

Oklahoma City: This weekend at the Oklahoma CIty Museum of Art: Parker Posey in Broken English and Oklahoma! Upcoming: Away from Her, Summercamp!, Once and Ten Canoes. Also, a panel discussion on images of Oklahoma in the movies. Full schedule is right here.

Want your city covered? Send your film news and links to me at kim(at)cinematical(dot)com ...

I was going to help Tim League and his Austin Fantastic Fest crew pick a few movies for this year's event, but unfortunately I had to head back to the east coast for the summer. But it sure doesn't look like the FF programming crew is having ANY trouble without me! (A crew that includes Twitch's Todd Brown, SXSW's ever-classy Matt Dentler, the Alamo's mad genius Kier-la Janisse, and AICN's recently-wed (congrats) Harry the K, just so you know who's pickin' the flicks.) Anyway, released just today is a brand-new batch of genre titles that can soon be enjoyed at the third annual Fantastic Fest in Austin, Texas. I may be a little biased (since Austin and everyone in it rocks the proverbial house) but I'm getting pretty darn excited for FF this year. (Plus I've had a rotten summer, and the only thing that can make me feel better is a full week of horror movies!)

In addition to the already-released list of titles, the FF posse just unleashed another batch of gore-soaked goodies. Nope, it wasn't enough to book movies like End of the Line, Flight of the Living Dead, The Last Winter and Spiral (all of which I've seen and awarded S. Nerd Weinberg stamp of approval) and get Uwe Boll himself to introduce Postal ... nope, these guys had more blood to spill. (Clarification: Fantastic Fest does a lot more than just horror; it's just that I always choose to focus my eyeballs there first.) Anyway, their new batch includes titles like Joe Lynch's Wrong Turn 2 (I've seen an excerpt and boy is it splattery!), Winona Ryder in Daniel Waters' Sex and Death 101, and the very amusing Sundance mockumentary Finishing the Game.

For everything you need to know about Fantastic Fest (which runs September 20 - 27 at the awesome Alamo South Lamar), feel free to pick through the official site. It's there you can check out plot synopses, find a few reviews, scope some trailers and make up a handy little schedule of what you'd like to see ... even if you can't attend. But fear not: Cinematical will have a small team of lunatics there to keep you up to speed. Can't wait! (And they still have some titles to announce yet! I'm promised some big news, too!) For the "old" news, check out Jette's May 17 report right here.

One part of the Oscar telecast that made me angry was Jerry Seinfeld's routine about the deal between the moviegoer and the movie theater. He claimed that people have the right to drop their trash on the floor after being ripped off at the concession stand. A lot of other people thought the bit was funny, enough to hope the comedian would one day host the awards, but to people like me, whose career is or was in the theater industry, pushing the idea that cinemas are completely to blame for their own attendance problems just makes matters worse.

Of course, the theater industry is at fault a good percentage of the time, at least as far as recognizing their place and duty in the distribution/exhibition process, and according to Techdirt, the industry may finally be waking up to the issues of demand and of the importance of the moviegoing experience. The blog features a great quote for theater owners to remember, originally stated by Marcus Loew: "We sell tickets to theaters, not movies." Some chains and indies have been conscious of the experience issue for awhile now, particularly fun theaters like the Alamo Drafthouse and theaters with special deals like AMC, but the issue of enhancing the movie-going experience has been difficult to address on a wide scale. There is some progress, though -- with the planned broadband and/or satellite distribution of digital movies to theaters, the ability to run more showings of a popular title will be easier and quicker. Theaters will just cancel a less popular movie and run the higher-demand title on its screen instead.

The official Cinematical presence at the 2006 Fantastic Fest was the wonderful Jette Kernion, and I think she managed to bang out about eight reviews ... while the fest was still running! I saw JK everywhere, from the queues to the parties to the local barbecue pits. Frankly I think her coverage rocked the house, and I'm not just saying that because she let me butt in line with her for The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell.

But since the FF guys were cool enough to welcome Cinematical with such eerily open arms, I figure it's only right to share my favorite movies, moments and memories of mayhem from the 2006 FantFest. And so I shall.

The Best Flicks

Simon Rumley's seriously disturbing The Living and the Dead, the Swedish vampire flick Frostbite, Adam Green's fun-time slasher throwback Hatchet, William Friedkin's compellingly intense Bug and the quietly cool haunted Brit flick Lie Still. I also had an unexpectedly good time with Mel Gibson's Apocalypto -- and although I'd already seen Abominable, The Host, The Fountain, Pan's Labyrinth and Severance, they're all films I have no problem recommending. Oh, and William H. Macy's performance in Edmond ... wow.

I also trekked away from the festival to enjoy a good portion of Feast -- which was negated by my plane ride home. Lindsay Lohan's Just My Luck was the in-flight movie, and that flick packs perhaps the worst screenplay I've dealt with in three years. Stunningly bad.

Oh, and right before I nodded off every night, I watched just a little bit more of The Office: Season 2. If you don't watch this show, you're plain old robbing yourself of multiple peals of bulky laughter. And why would you want to do that?