Here's where I get confused: If you knew a pair of people like the characters played by Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in the new feature-length sitcom pilot What Happens in Vegas, you'd probably hate them. Undoubtedly, in real life, you'd want to punch / mock / immediately walk away from people so outrageously stupid, selfish, and insufferable. So here's my question: Why would you actually PAY for the experience of meeting two such woeful and worthless people? It's not like there's much upside for you...

Pre-packaged movie star detritus of the most inane order, What Happens in Vegas offers an I Love Lucy premise, an Odd Couple leading duo, and a Three's Company screenplay. (I mean, like, season five Three's Company, when you could spot the flaccid punch-lines the split-second the set-up is delivered.) It's not like I went in gunning for the flick, because I happen to think that A) Ashton Kutcher is a fairly funny guy, B) Cameron Diaz is still (often) a generally appealing movie star, and C) "high concept" comedy can sometimes make for one colorful and energetic night at the cinema -- but I've been to writing seminars that offer more humor, creativity, and cleverness than what's on display here. And trust me, writing seminars have none of those things.

Oh, Ashton. He's the little train that just keeps on trying. At least this latest bit of news doesn't have anything to do with romantic comedy. That, at least, is a plus. According to Ace Showbiz, Ashton Kutcher visited Ryan Seacrest's radio show yesterday and told the host that he's starting to think about making a feature film of Punk'd: "I was actually walking down the street in New York yesterday and thought, 'What if I did Punk'd: The Movie? Like a full on feature film of Punk'd.'"

But it also seems to be more than just the passing notion that he suggests. Kutcher went on to say: "I got a plan. But if I reveal the plan then everyone's going to know when it's going down." To me, that says that he's planning one big, full-scale trick on a whole lot of his celebrity friends.

I must admit: I've watched a few episodes back in the day and they can be funny, in the same way any elaborate joke is. But can it make a good feature film? Sure, Jackass headed to the big screen a few times, but that's a whole different sort of film. Shocked celebrity faces and laughter isn't quite the same thing as rabid stupidity in action with crazy injury.

But, what do you say? Wanna get Punk'd?

I will totally admit to bashing this movie when I first heard about it, but I have to say it has some pretty funny jokes. I LOL'd at least four times during this latest trailer (just released by Moviefone) for What Happens in Vegas, and I can't remember the last time I LOL'd at anything starring Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher. See, it's all about Rob Corddry. Put that guy in anything and you're guaranteed a few funny bits. I love the part where Kutcher finds a bunch of hot girls in his living room, and he calls Corddry to tell him there's a hot girl party at his house. The exchange between the two earned bonus laugh points from me. And the trailer is cut together pretty well, with the laughs increasing as it plays out. Kudos to whoever put it together.

What Happens in Vegas stars Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher as two random strangers who meet one night in Vegas, get wasted and subsequently get married by drunken mistake. However, while they're parting ways the next morning -- admitting their stupid mistakes -- both wind up winning a three million dollar jackpot. It was her quarter, but he put it in. When a judge sentences them to "six months of hard marriage" these two strangers -- who now despise one another -- will have to find a way to make it work. Think The Break-Up meets War of the Roses. I dunno, looks kinda cute.

What Happens in Vegas hits theaters on May 9 (my birthday!). Check out the trailer above, or head over to Moviefone to watch it in glorious HD.

That picture up there is the official one-sheet for the upcoming romcom What Happens in Vegas. If we went by this poster, the movie looks like one of those cheek-pinchingly happy romcoms full of Vegas weddings and matrimonial bliss. But this is the movie where Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher fall to the huge Las Vegas cliche -- hitting Sin City to forget their problems, while getting drunk and getting married.

The twist -- they play a slot machine as they decide to dissolve the marriage and win $3 million, so splitting up isn't so easy. They're sentenced to 6 months of "hard marriage" by a judge who freezes their winnings. It's just so romantic! Both of them act like asses to the other, and then, oh my god, they realize that they're meant to be! They fall for each other! Yeah, I'm being really hard on this, but c'mon -- Ashton is notorious for his bad romcoms, and the trailer is just a melange of stereotypes and over-done jokes that doesn't seem to offer anything fresh. Cameron and Ashton get hitched on May 9.

What do you think?

Last month, I wondered how Jennifer Jason Leigh could sign on for an indie romcom starring Ashton Kutcher -- the man notorious for his bad romantic comedies. She was set to co-star in Spread, the classy-titled indie comedy where Ashton is a serial womanizer and Jennifer would be the thwarted lover -- so, not only a goofy Kutcher movie, but one where he gets to cast her off! But now, however, The Hollywood Reporter posts that one week after signing on, Leigh backed out of the project for undisclosed reasons. Her replacement will be -- Anne Heche.

Rumors suggest that Leigh is pregnant, but you can't help but wonder if she just got cold feet. Production is starting immediately, so it's not like the pregnancy worry would impact things that much right now. As for Heche, well, I'm less surprised about her casting, although maybe a Kutcher film isn't the best thing to follow up her success in Men in Trees. Eh, we'll have to wait and see. Maybe this will be a great romcom, and Jason Dean Hall's script and David Mackenzie's direction will make it all come up roses.

I've got to wonder now... According to IMDb, Laura Linney is attached. What on earth attracted Linney and Leigh to a Kutcher romcom?

I just don't know what to say about this news. It's not like Jennifer Jason Leigh only picks the cream of the crop as far as films go. She has done voices for things like Spawn and Hey Arnold!, but for the most part, she picks decent films or some sort of art house/indie fare. So, what in the world made her decide to co-star with Ashton Kutcher in a sex comedy? Well, it is indie, but that doesn't sound like enough of a qualifier to me.

Variety reports that Kutcher and Leigh will star in the comedy, which has the lascivious name of Spread, and Ashton's Katalyst shingle is producing. The film will "chronicle the adventures of a serial womanizer (Kutcher); Leigh will play a thwarted lover." It's Jason Dean Hall's first feature script, and will be helmed by David MacKenzie, the director behind Young Adam and Hallam Foe. Maybe Ashton nabbed the part because of his production company?

Yeah, I know that I'm being hard on the guy. But really, aside from That '70s Show, or even Dude, Where's My Car?, he's left a wasteland of crappy romcoms -- Just Married, My Boss's Daughter, Guess Who, A Lot Like Love... I'm pretty sure What Happens in Vegas will soon be on the list as well. But you have to give him credit -- he still keeps getting the roles.

Just after Christmas last year, Erik Davis threw up a still from What Happens in Vegas, the new movie starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. The romcom is about two people who fall into the typical cliche -- they've both had some problems in their lives, so they go to Las Vegas to blow off steam. There, they meet, get trashed, and get married. However, this time around, there's a big catch. Just as they're about to part ways and hunt down someone who can get them an annulment, they win $3 million. A judge then freezes their money and sentences them to, well, their marriage. Following the usual romcom rules, the two despise and torment each other, yet grow to love one another.

I'm betting this isn't one of those films that's going to go very far. (Because I Said So!) It will probably pull in a decent chunk of change right away and then fizzle off quickly, unless the big laughs aren't being shown in the trailer, which was just posted on the film's official website.

The one bit of this that I actually enjoyed -- a scene of Kutcher urinating into a sink. However, my appreciation of that scene wasn't because it was funny, but because I once knew a guy who would relieve himself in basement utility sinks rather than use the bathroom in the middle of the night and risk waking anyone up. But that's just my experience...I hope.

[via JoBlo]

Yesterday, we unloaded a bunch of movie pics on you from Universal Pictures upcoming 2008 slate (including two new pics from The Incredible Hulk). Today, we have a few more for you, courtesy of Universal once again, as well as a few other studios who have also unveiled their 2008 calendar. The first image (see above) is from 20th Century Fox's upcoming comedy What Happens in Vegas, starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz. The photo comes with the caption: "A night of debauchery culminated with impromptu - and soon regretted - nuptials for Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz in What Happens in Vegas." Considering these are two of the most annoying actors working today, here's hoping what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Zing!

From Disney's official 2008 preview comes the first image from the animated film Bolt, which you can view below. Bolt stars the voice of John Travolta as a dog who is the star of a hit TV show. However, when Bolt accidentally gets shipped from his Hollywood soundstage to New York City, he sets out on a cross-country trip through the real world. Here's more from the synopsis: "Armed only with the delusions that all his amazing feats and powers are real, and with the help of two unlikely traveling companions: a jaded, abandoned housecat named Mittens (voice of Susie Essman) and a TV-obsessed hamster in a plastic ball named Rhino, Bolt discovers he doesn't need superpowers to be a hero."

OK, so while it probably isn't the most exciting news I've heard today, it certainly is a scoop on some unlikely casting. Sources for ComingSoon are reporting that Michelle Pfeiffer is set to star alongside Ashton Kutcher in the Rick Moody adaptation, Personal Effects. The film is based on Moody's story, Mansion on the Hill, from the book Demonology. Kutcher will play Andrew Wakefield; a young man who is hired by a high-end wedding planning business right after his sister is killed in an accident on her own wedding day. In the original story, Andrew is irreparably damaged by the loss of his sister and even seeks out a bizarre revenge against her fiancée. The story then cuts between Andrew's memories of his sister and his new life in the business of marriage. David Hollanger wrote the adaptation and is also attached to direct. Hollanger is an American TV writer and producer and Personal Effects would be his first feature film.

I think it's fair to say that when you think of the darker side of character studies (the story is from the same man who wrote the Ice Storm after all), you don't think of Kutcher -- but maybe he will surprise us all, you never know. Details about the film are pretty sketchy at this point, although news of the film is already making its way around the net. That is unless this is all somebody's idea of a practical joke. Kutcher is currently filming the comedy What Happens in Vegas (which seems a little better suited to his talents) and Pfeiffer is in talks to star in Chasing Montana. Effects is reportedly set to start filming on location in Vancouver, Canada later this month. But on the off chance there is somebody out there who is waiting with bated breath for Kutcher's dramatic debut; stay tuned, and we'll let you know as soon as we hear something official.

If it wasn't for those Shiny Happy Fabio followers, comedian Zach Galifianakis would've stopped Bubble Boy before his journey even began. (He was the ankle-weight-wearing bus dude who wouldn't give the kid a nice, cheap discount.) Since then, he's been a hacker, a homeless man, Santa, a friend of time-traveling Tru, and taught a certain kid about hunting Into the Wild -- just to name a few. Now he's got two more roles on the way, according to The Hollywood Reporter.

One of the roles will be in Tom Vaughn's What Happens in Vegas. He's going to play "Dave the Bear," Jack's (Ashton Kutcher) anti-marriage best friend who is less than happy when Jack marries Joy (Cameron Diaz) during a drunken night in Vegas. As I told you when news broke on the project, the pair get hitched and then undermine each other to get the big payout they win in Vegas. I imagine the Bear will plot against the aptly-named Joy, as THR says he's playing her nemesis.

For role number two, Galifianakis is going to get scientific by starring in the Disney/Bruckheimer flick, G-Force. His role is that of "the lead government scientist in charge of a guinea pig commando program, helping [to] send the highly trained elite agents on a dangerous mission." Elite animal agents, that is. Sounds like appropriate wacky-scientist casting to me. But for now, we've got Largo, Visioneers, and Little Fish, Strange Pond on the way -- all of which are in post-production.

Anyone out there buy Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz as a married couple? Nah, me neither. Anyone out there buy Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz as two Vegas vacationers who get married while plastered only to participate in a massive battle when one of 'em wins a huge jackpot with the other one's quarter? Nah, I don't really swallow that one either. (Anyone out there have a clue as to what will happen at the end of this flick? I sure do.)

But that's not stopping Fox from moving forward on What Happens in Vegas..., an obviously broad-style romantic comedy that's scheduled for release next summer. Starter for 10 director Tom Vaughan steps into his first big-time studio gig with Vegas, and he's working from a screenplay by second-timer Dana Fox. (She also wrote -- brace yourself -- The Wedding Date.) So it sounds like a perfectly conventional summertime rom-com -- even though I still can't imagine Diaz and Kutcher as a couple.

But according to The Hollywood Reporter, we may have two additional reasons to look forward to What Happens in Vegas... . (Is it just me or do you also hate it when movie titles end in ellipses??) Looks like Fox has settled on two actors to play the best friends of the leads -- and those actors are the seriously funny Rob Corddry and the seriously adorable Lake Bell. Mr. Corddry you probably know from The Daily Show, although he's also popped up in Failure to Launch, Blades of Glory and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Ms. Bell is best known for TV work (Miss Match, Surface, Boston Legal) but also has a bunch of movie projects in the pipeline.

Fox has claimed June 27 of next summer for their Vegas trip.

After a couple bad choices (A Lot Like Love; The Guardian), Ashton Kutcher is again working with his usual co-producer Jason Goldberg (Guess Who; "Punk'd"). The two have been tapped to make a comedy for Columbia Pictures called Father's Day, which will be scripted by Ian Deitchman and Kristin Robinson. The plot is not given in Variety's report, but we can assume it isn't another remake of Francis Veber's Les Compères (the 1997 Hollywood version was also called Father's Day and starred Robin Williams and Billy Crystal). The only description we're given is that this Father's Day will be a multi-generational comedy. So, I'm thinking something like It Runs in the Family or Parenthood, but I could be way off. Kutcher isn't yet confirmed to star in the movie, but the studio picked up the pitch as a potential vehicle for him (hopefully John Cusack wasn't interested).

Though I haven't liked any Ashton Kutcher vehicle since Dude Where's My Car? (well, I did think The Butterfly Effect was hilarious, but I don't think it was supposed to be) and I believe his stardom is fading a bit, I think that his partnership with Goldberg could at least produce a much-needed hit for the guy. Remember, Kutcher was once the box office champ of "That '70s Show" actors, even winning a head-to-head opening-weekend battle against Topher Grace in 2004 with The Butterfly Effect versus Win a Date With Tad Hamilton. Now, thanks to Spider-Man 3, Grace is on top, and I think he will stay there for awhile. Next up for Kutcher is What Happens in Vegas, co-starring with Cameron Diaz.

I haven't seen any commenter on Cinematical wishing for John Cusack to appear in Watchmen, but apparently there are tons of fans elsewhere declaring that the actor would make a great Nite Owl. I can definitely see it, as well. Unfortunately, Zack Snyder, who is directing the graphic novel adaptation for Warner Bros., has pretty much confirmed the rumor that Patrick Wilson will be cast in the role (as well as the rumors about Keanu Reeves and Jude Law being offered significant parts, too). Well, if Snyder changes his mind -- or if the rumors aren't actually true -- then Cusack would be interested in donning the goggles and cape. Cusack told MTV that if the fans want him and the director wants him, then he's in.

In the interview, Cusack mentions that he loves the comic and also mentioned Rorschach as another character he could play (would he dye his hair red?). He humorously states that Warners might rather want Ashton Kutcher, though, because Cusack claims this is the kind of world he lives in. What a sad world to be in where Hollywood is more interested in Kutcher than Cusack! A few years ago, AICN reported that in Revolution Studios' version of Watchmen, Cusack had already been cast as Nite Owl (aka Dan Dreiberg). Of course, that wasn't true at the time, but in this era of great public communication, the fans could potentially make it happen. At least Snyder should think of Cusack for some part -- I haven't seen any Rorschach casting rumors yet -- if not Nite Owl. Even a cameo would make me happy -- how about as one of the lesser-used "masks", or as Hector Godfrey?

Check out the MTV Blog for the great video interview with Cusack. For previous Cinematical coverage of the Watchmen movie, check out the links below:

Zack Snyder Confirms: The Watchmen Will Be His Next Film

Secret 'Watchmen' Image Hidden in '300' Trailer!

Zack Snyder Sets Up 'Sucker Punch,' Says Gerard Butler May Be In 'Watchmen'

Watchmen Gets a Scribe

Yet Another Watchmen Scribe

Watchmen Nabs a Composer

As previously reported (when it was just a rumor), Variety has officially confirmed that Tom Vaughan has replaced Julian Farino (Entourage) as director of What Happens in Vegas for 20th Century Fox, starring Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz (two people who, honestly, probably belong together in real life). Apparently, scheduling conflicts have interfered with Farino helming the film; instead, he will jump over to the newly-announced The Year of Living Biblically, for Paramount and Plan B. Vaughan is the man responsible for the little-seen, yet enjoyable Starter for Ten, and will direct Vegas off a script written by Dana Fox (The Wedding Date).

Our plot here revolves around two strangers (Kutcher and Diaz) who, while in Vegas, get wasted and subsequently get hitched. Not only that, but one of them had also won a jackpot off the other's quarter at some point during the drunken festivities. As expected, while they fight over who should be the rightful owner of said jackpot, they somehow wind up falling in love with another along the way. And yes, as I write this this I'm already wiping away tears of laughter and heartache. Oh Vegas, how can anyone not love you. Kutcher, who at one point was on his way to leading man status, has recently dropped a bit in rank. His last notable role was in last year's The Guardian opposite Kevin Costner, but that flick was as forgettable as Kutcher's TV series Beauty and the Geek. Diaz, on the other hand, is only as popular as the guy she's currently dating, so now that she's single this gal is gonna have to put in some overtime. No word on a release date yet, but I expect we'll be seeing this gamble show up at some point next year.

We recently passed on to you the news that Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher have signed to star in a new romantic comedy called What Stays in Vegas, about two people who wake up in Vegas to find themselves married. Then one of them uses the other's quarter to play the slots and wins a jackpot, which makes for further love-money complications. Didn't Larry David already make a 'you took my quarter and won' movie a while back? Anyway, at the time, the movie was set to be directed by Julian Farino, a director of Entourage, but now word is coming that he is off the project. LatinoReview.com is reporting that Tom Vaughan, director of Starter for Ten, has replaced Farino. The film will still use the script by Dana Fox, who wrote The Wedding Date.

The website is also reporting that director Joe Kosinski is the guy who is going to take over Logan's Run, now that Bryan Singer is supposedly out of the running. That film, of course, deals with a society that kills its youth when they turn 21, and one youngster decides to plan an escape from that fate. No more details on the Vegas change-up were given and right now, the film has no firm release date. As for Diaz, she has no other commitments lined for the immediate future, save the inevitable Shrek sequels. Jeffrey Katzenberg recently said there will be a Shrek 4 and Shrek 5, so that should take up at least a few weeks of her time.