Although Will Smith plays an emotionally fragile superhero in Hancock, as a movie star he's practically invincible. By industry standards, the last genuine Smith dud was The Legend of Bagger Vance, but the actor's standing among many audiences has remained decidedly rocky. As a result, he occupies a unique corner of the Hollywood marketplace where quality and taste don't necessarily match up. Unlike, say, The Dark Knight, not many people eagerly await the latest Smith offering -- which currently has a 32% rating on Rotten Tomatoes -- but they'll see it anyway. Hancock is tracking well, thanks to a poster exclusively dominated by Smith's unshaven mug, and that pretty much seals its potent box office fate. Just as Smith's slapdash onscreen persona is bullet-proof, Smith himself is steadfastly critic-proof.

Which places movie in an interesting quagmire: After pulling in waves of cash, it will probably get relegated to the void of forgettable Smith fare, where spectacles offer passing amusement before scampering off forever. Hancock, however, deserves better than a fleeting moment in the limelight and a crash landing in the bargain bin. It's part of a genre that speaks directly to the modern state of blockbuster cinema: The superhero satire.

"Are you okay?"
"I'm disgusted and repulsed and ... I can't look away."

--Clerks II

After watching Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay with me, my husband remarked, "That may be the most deliberately offensive film I've seen." However, he also pointed out that he'd been laughing his head off most of the time. My first thought was that if the Harold and Kumar sequel was the most offensive thing he'd seen in awhile, maybe he needed to go to QT Fest with me next time, or watch some of those bizarre midnight movies at Alamo Drafthouse. (And what, did he forget we saw Borat together last year?)

But afterwards, I started wondering ... how many intentionally offensive comedies have we seen and loved? I'm not thinking about provocative or transgressive films that try to make you stop and think about your life. I'm talking about movies that, when they succeed, evoke that amazing moment in which your jaw has plummeted to the floor in disbelief as a bubble of laughter starts to force its way out of you and will send you to the floor along with your dropped jaw, in hysteria. I'll put up with revolting, sacrilegious, and downright repellent content in a film if it makes me laugh hard enough. Can I think of seven movies that meet such a high standard for offensive comedy? It's more like seven times seven, and difficult to pick only a few of my favorites. Feel free to share any movies that you think I neglected to include -- bear in mind that in some cases, I simply didn't like the movie enough to get past the offensive bits (the Jackass films), or although I liked the movie, wasn't offended (The Aristocrats).

Before I get started, I just wanted to say that anyone who was undecided as to whether or not Knocked Up was sexist, probably wasn't really paying too close attention to Leslie Mann's performance. Mann's portrayal of a woman forced into being the bad cop because her husband isn't into the whole 'grown up' thing was one of the best things about that film. Now she's heading for another 'wronged wife' role, and The Hollywood Reporter announced that Mann has joined the cast of I Love You, Phillip Morris.

Phillip Morris is based on the true life story of Steven Russell (as played by Jim Carrey). Russell was a married family man whose criminal exploits landed him in the Texas prison system. While incarcerated, Russell fell in love with his cell mate, Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor). After Morris' release, Russell concocted a variety of bizarre escape attempts in hopes of reuniting with the love of his life.

Well, I guess if you are looking to cast an unlikely couple, then Ewan McGregor and Jim Carrey would probably be at the top of the list. Variety reports that McGregor has signed to play the romantic lead opposite Jim Carrey in the black comedy, I Love You Philip Morris. The film centers on Steven Russell (Carrey), a Texas conman who fell in love with his cellmate, Phillip Morris (played by McGregor). The script is based on the true story of Russell and his various escape attempts to be with his true love. Some of the more elaborate attempts included "using a green pen and bucket of water to change his prison outfit into what appeared to be surgical scrubs, another time by faking his death from AIDS and signing his own death certificate". But all did not end well for the lovers and while Morris eventually made it out of prison, Russell managed to earn a 144 year sentence for his various escape attempts.

The film is the directorial debut of Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, who are best known as the writers of Bad Santa. Ficarra and Requa also wrote the script based off of crime reporter Steve Mcvicker's novel. The film is set to start production as soon as Carrey is finished with Robert Zemeckis' latest foray into motion capture, A Christmas Carol (where Carrey is set to play multiple parts). McGregor has already lined up the Hitchcock-inspired Number 13 and the big-screen version of I, Lucifer for 2008. Plus, he has just finished work on The List with Hugh Jackman -- now that's the on-screen couple I've been hoping for; but no such luck.

OK, so this is theoretical: Charles Dickens died in 1870, about 25 years before the very first motion pictures were shown. He published A Christmas Carol in 1843, when he was about thirty, which would have put his fictitious Ebenezer Scrooge several years older, with even less chance of ever having seen any movies. So we're just imagining that if Scrooge was around today, and still hated Christmas, but loved movies -- and preferred to spend Christmas alone watching mean, dark Christmas stories -- then these might be his favorites. A Happy Humbug -- er... Holidays to all!

1. Bad Santa (2003)
Of course: Billy Bob Thornton's Willie T. Soke has gone down as perhaps the greatest Christmas curmudgeon since the Grinch, and even Scrooge himself. His beautifully crafted dialogue is like an opera of swear words, soaring over the proceedings like the wings of drunken, unwashed angels. Terry Zwigoff's masterful direction walks an impossible line between vicious and sweet, hilarious and human. (Note: avoid the theatrical cut and the bogus "Badder Santa" version, and stick with the superior, official Director's Cut.)

2. Black Christmas (1974)
Bob Clark directed everyone's holiday favorite, A Christmas Story, but nine years earlier he made this horror masterpiece about the first holiday serial killer, a nasty piece of work who torments a girl's sorority house on the eve of the holiday break. But these girls (including Margot Kidder and Olivia Hussey) are no innocent Cindy Lou Whos; they can out-drink and out-curse any slasher. Even Scrooge wouldn't accept the dreadful 2006 remake, however.

I entirely sympathize with people that complain about the press (or bloggers or fanboys or "the Internet community") over-hyping certain movies because I feel the same way about holiday flicks in general. It's like the "Small World" ride/attraction at Disneyland: the first time you hear "It's a Small World," you think, "OK, fairly inoffensive little song, nice message, good for the kids" but by the end of the ride -- and the 50 millionth rendition -- you want to take a baseball bat to all the speakers in the vicinity and, oh yeah, smash yourself over the head too, to properly bid the song good riddance.

That's just me, though. I realize I may be walking out onto a plank solo with my choices, but these are the holiday movies for which I've developed an unreasoning, out of proportion hatred -- the mere mention of which drives me insane. In some cases I've tried to watch them, sometimes repeatedly, to see what others enjoy so much, but I'm afraid it's a lost cause. Apologies in advance if you're offended; please don't take it as a rejection of your values, morals, or good sense. These are not reviews, they are notes on films I couldn't finish or simply hate on principle. For the record, I don't have a knee-jerk reaction to ALL holiday movies, or movies set during the holidays; I came to enjoy most of It's a Wonderful Life (up to that sentimental ending with James Stewart running down the street), and really dig The Nightmare Before Christmas, Gremlins, Die Hard, and Lethal Weapon.

1. A Christmas Story

I've tried, I've tried, I've tried. I've started at the beginning, I've come back in the middle, I've come back near the end, and the charms of this film still elude me. All due respect to the late Jean Sheperd, but how does his voice not drive you folks up the wall? To me, he sounds like nails on a chalkboard. And he never shuts up! Combined with the kid's unrelenting desire for a BB gun, it just seems to me like one long whine for a present. In general, the tone is far too precious for me. Maybe I heard too many stories from my father about growing up in poverty during the 1930s to enjoy a warm-hearted family tale set in the 1940s. (For an entirely different perspective, read why my boss thinks you should watch it for 24 hours straight.)

I have to admit, I wasn't crazy about this idea when they first announced it -- basically, a take on The Six Million Dollar Man, except the government only throws a measly $40,000 into this experiment. Great. Will Ferrell, Jack Black -- throw one of them in there, and it's just another doofy spring comedy. But now that The Hollywood Reporter tells us Terry Zwigoff will be directing, my anticipation meter just shot up. Zwigoff doesn't take on just any project; he's not one of those directors who's shoveling out a film every year. I guess you could say he's somewhat of an odd fellow, but I've loved each and every one of his films for different reasons. They're all slightly off, slightly warped -- each finding its own cult audience over time, with one (Bad Santa) hitting the right chords with more of the mainstream crowd, yet even that film could be deemed "out there."

But the news gets even better -- apparently Zwigoff, aside from directing the flick, will help re-write the script alongside his Ghost World partner Dan Clowes (both were nominated for a Best Adapted Screenplay Oscar for their work on that film's script). For those that adored Ghost World (and I know there's a ton of you out there), this is probably wonderful news -- even if it does sound like an odd project for the duo to take on. As I alluded to before, The $40,000 Man centers on an astronaut who's injured in a horrific crash and then re-built by the government on a shoe-string budget of $40,000. Zwigoff last helmed Art School Confidential, which I remember starting out as this goofy, mainstream teen comedy before turning into something completely different. One thing's for sure here -- however you think this film is going to end up, it will most likely go in the exact opposite direction. And I cannot wait.

This story should come as no surprise to anyone: religious groups are upset with the horror flick Black Christmas bloodying up their holiday. Matthew Staver of Liberty Council called the release "ill founded" and Jennifer Giroux of Operation Just Say Merry Christmas said the movie has "assualted" the most sacred of holy days. If I was head of Dimension, I'd use those quotes in an ad.

Dimension has at least issued a statement in response to the complaints: "There is a long tradition of releasing horror movies during the holiday season," the company said, "as counter-programming to the more regular yuletide fare." That's the truth. A power search on the IMDb of Christmas and horror reveals 53 titles (sure not all of them really apply here).

What I want to know is, how many Christmas movies made these days do Staver and Giroux approve of? Certainly Black Christmas and other holiday horrors aren't as bad as some truly inappropriate and damaging Christmas movies. I'm not even referring to cynical flicks like Bad Santa and Christmas Vacation. I mean the badly written family films that center on the consumerist Christmas yet insincerely present a moral tale about how family is more important than presents. Or, worse, the awful slapstick Christmas comedies like Deck the Halls that have no redeeming association with Christmas whatsoever. C'mon, there are so many movies that are more sacreligious than Black Christmas. Care to name a few?

Related posts:

Guilty Pleasures: Silent Night, Bloody Night

12 Days of Cinematicalmas : The World's Most Obnoxious Xmas Comedies

John Waters Jingles for Christmas and Evil

Review: Deck the Halls

I used to have such high hopes for Todd Phillips. Not only was Old School a film so funny that I literally watched it repeatedly for days, its success was not caused solely on the talents of its cast -- which is the case with so many comedies these days. Phillips actually showed promise as a director, too. Then came the wretched Starsky & Hutch, which couldn't even be helped by its cast, and now coming this week is School for Scoundrels, which really can't make up for its casting of the bland monotony of Jon Heder. So, I for one am excited about his returning to Old School for a sequel, if it moves forward.

If it doesn't, Phillips' production company has a project about Russian brides at Warners (previously at Miramax) based on David Benioff's article "Goodbye to Romance", originally published in the magazine Arena. Phillips isn't set to direct the movie, which has a treatment written by E. Max Frye, but with Old School Dos, a remake called Men, a film listed on his IMDb paged called The Dogs of Babel and the postcards-from-god movie The Disassociate, it is obvious that his plate is already overfilled. If he does go with this film, though, I suggest he casts Vince Vaughn and Billy Bob Thornton (who probably doesn't really need another character in the style of Bad Santa/Bad News Bears/School for Scoundrels) as the men who go to Russia in search of women to wed.

For eight years now, megacritic Roger Ebert has put together a festival featuring films he loves that he feels have been overlooked and neglected. What's great about the festival is that Ebert's status is such that people pay attention to it, and the attention he bestows on films simply by choosing them can have an impact. Featured at last year's festival, for example, were Murderball and Me and You and Everyone We Know, both of which received tremendous acclaim as the year wore on.

This year's slate of films is just as diverse as those of past festivals, and includes My Fair Lady (screening in 70mm!), The David Schwimmer-starrer Duane Hopwood (Ebert describes Schwimmer's performance as "brilliant", and the film as one of the best indie features he saw last year), Man Push Cart (which impressed Kim at Sundance), and Bad Santa. All of the films at the festival will be accompanied by appearances by personnel involved in the productions, from Bad Santa director Terry Zwigoff to John Malkovich, who plans to be on hand to discuss his work in 2002's Ripley's Game.

The festival runs from April 26 to April 30 (there are three and four screenings a day), with all screenings at The Virginia Theatre. Those of you in Chicago damn well better go.

[via GreenCine Daily]