"Ho, ho, but no matter. Christmas was on its way. Lovely, glorious, beautiful Christmas, upon which the entire kid year revolved."

I tried that once. Only I didn't have the guts to stick my tongue to a flagpole, so instead I tried repeatedly to stick my tongue to the metal plate inside my parents' freezer. I was a kid who had just watched A Christmas Story more than five times over the Christmas holiday, and I wanted to see if my tongue would stick. No one else was around to egg me on -- and though I grew up with kids like Flick and Schwartz, I was determined to go at this one alone. So my tongue ... yeah, it didn't stick. Well maybe for a second or two, but that was it. If it was any other time of year, I probably wouldn't have tried it. But, for a kid, Christmas is heaven. Knowing the holiday is approaching brings a jolt of life to the kid spirit; they're invincible, nothing can stop them. Trying to decide what you want for Christmas, as a kid, is also the most important decision you'll make all year. No job, no mortgage or rent to pay, no wife or girlfriend or family to buy presents for. Nope. Your only responsibility is to anticipate great things to come. And no other movie captures that mindset, that energy, that love for life better than Bob Clark's A Christmas Story.

Starting in just a couple hours from now, TBS will air this movie for 24 hours straight; a yearly tradition for the television station. In my house, these are the rules: We must leave the TV on when we fall asleep, and the set must be tuned into A Christmas Story. I attempt to watch the first half before I fall asleep, and then I time it to wake up and watch the second half before the wife, dog and I hop out of bed and open presents. I do this (and the wife just goes along because I'm nuts and she doesn't have the time nor patience to argue my insanity) because after all the shopping, the hustling, the re-arranging and the spending of money I'd rather save, this film helps raise my spirits, helps me prepare for the onslaught of Christmas dinners to follow and it brings me back to that time as a kid when the cold, the lights and the tree meant we were in store for something special. To a kid, that something special is a gift; a reward for being young and full of glee. To an adult, that something special is togetherness; a bonding moment with the ones you love.

On Wednesday, we brought you the sad news that filmmaker Bob Clark, known for directing such films as A Christmas Story and Porky's, was killed along with his 22-year-old son on the Pacific Coast Highway in a collision with a DUI driver. As is often the case, the drunk driver escaped the wreck with only minor injuries. Today there's an update on the situation -- IESB is reporting that the driver, a 24-year-old illegal immigrant without a license named Hector Velazquez-Nava, has had an immigration hold put on him by the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency, which means that once his legal proceedings are complete, he'll be placed directly into deportation proceedings. Velazquez-Nava was charged with vehicular manslaughter and investigation of DUI. If he posts, he'll be taken into federal custody.

Clark was, of course, best known for directing the perennial holiday classic A Christmas Story, an adaptation of Jean Shepherd's memoir of Christmas memories from childhood, but was also well known among horror fans for films such as Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, Dead of Night, and the recently remade Black Christmas. He is also generally credited with launching the career of actress Kim Cattrall and had several projects in the pipeline at the time of his death. Here's hoping that whatever country Velazquez-Nava ends up in, the authorities are able to keep him behind bars forever.

Bob Clark was the alternate icon of the eighties. While John Hughes brought out a number of red-headed features, the Florida-bred Clark was releasing alterna-classics from Toronto . Although he started his Canadian days in the seventies with horror specials like Black Christmas, the eighties lost the blood as he released two border-crossing classics -- Porky's and A Christmas Story.

Porky's existed in a time before pie sex and films that made profanity a passing phrase. The cast was a group of unknowns whose names never transcended the film, that is, except for Honeywell -aka- Kim Cattrall, who went on to play a mannequin and a sex fiend. Although the movie was panned for its misogynistic portrayals, the film quickly became a cult classic. Raging profanity and peeping kids, what could be more real? "It's outrageous, because we were outrageous." Clark notes.

In October, a not-at-all "special" edition of the film was released in the US. Now, Playback Magazine reveals that Maple Pictures will be handling a Canadian version -- hopefully one with more features -- to be released on the 21st. The anniversary comes at an interesting time, since Porky's was just partially de-throned from its spot as the highest-grossing Canadian film EVER. Yes, in the last twenty-five years, only one Canadian release has come close -- this year's Bon Cop, Bad Cop, which has gone farther in revenue, but not inflation-adjusted numbers. Now, Howard Stern has picked up the re-make rights to Porky's. Over two decades later, do we still care? Or will we all try to re-capture our youth with a DVD and remake?

Odds and ends from Wednesday:

• Okay, we've seen stories about young men trying to escape the ghetto to follow their dreams and make something of themselves, but this one definitely takes the cake as far as originality goes. Djimon Hounsou is set to star in The Trunk, a film that finds him playing an aspiring pianist whose jealous friends attempt to keep him from leaving the ghetto for whatever selfish reasons they have. Personally, I feel Hounsou is an underrated actor who always chooses dynamite roles (okay, we'll make believe Biker Boyz never happened), so I'm curious to see what he does playing a ghetto-fabulous pianist.
• Normally I wouldn't pay much attention to Pamela Anderson and the crummy roles she takes on, but according to Hollywood North Report, she's making a movie with, um, Bob Clark. Sure, Clark is the man behind Porky's (so we know he's just a bit perverse), but he's also the dude who directed A Christmas Story, Black Christmas (the original) and Baby Geniuses. Can anyone have a more eclectic career than this guy? I seriously doubt it. Anyway, the name of the film is Blonde and Blonder and, though there's no plot description, I'm going to take a wild guess and say it's kind of like Dumb and Dumber ... but with blondes. [via Moviehole]
• For those of you fanatical Tim Burton fans out there, AICN chief Harry Knowles recently conducted a fantastic interview with the man, and the two talked about everything from Sweeney Todd to Vincent Price. As far as Sweeney Todd goes, Burton didn't rule out using the always fabulous Christopher Lee in a small role, and on whether or not Danny Elfman would be involved, he said, "I've talked to him, but I just don't ... My relationship with Danny now ... I don't think I'd ask him to do that just because it wouldn't be using him to what his great talents are. He's busy at the moment, so I think... I mean, he's very supportive of me and that's great, but it wouldn't utilize his talents very well." There's much much more where that came from, so feel free to head on over there and check it out.