There's nothing quite as annoying as wanting to see a movie with friends and having no idea what to pick. Trying to traverse the challenges of people's interests, what they've already seen, and what they like would like to see can make a once-fun idea become aggravating -- until you end up picking a film out of desperation, pleasing no one but the store that gets your coin. Hopefully this will help alleviate that turmoil. Welcome to the first installment of Friday Night Double Feature -- Cinematical's latest weekly series. Every week, you can stop by and check out two picks that would work well as a double feature -- teamed together because of theme, actors, directors, dance sequences, or any other common aspect.

This week, you're going to get a few features that have been around for a while. If you're like me, you're already getting sick of hearing the same exact Christmas songs in every store, all sap and no satire. For the most part, that's what this holiday season is -- a collection of feel-good, heart-warming media morsels. However, in the sheen of sugary sweetness, there are a few tart goodies that make the holidays just a little more interesting. First up is The Hebrew Hammer, the best Hanukkah movie to ever hit the screen, and after that, the 1980's Christmas classic, A Christmas Story. So read on, have fun, and be sure to comment about what you'd like to see, and what you think of the movies. Happy viewing!


The Hebrew Hammer



We're currently in the throes of Hannukah, so there's nothing better to slip into the DVD player than The Hebrew Hammer. Which is also partially due to the fact that there's barely any Hannukah media out there. After Adam Sandler took care of the music side of things, Adam Goldberg jumped on screen as Mordechai Jefferson Carver -- otherwise known as the Hebrew Hammer. The orthodox Jewish hero finds himself up against Santa Claus' evil son Damian, who has decided to get rid of Hannukah. With the help of Esther Bloomenbergensteinenthal, daughter of the leader of the Jewish Justice League, and Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim, head of the Kwanzaa Liberation Front, the Hebrew Hammer sets out to save the holiday and bring down Damian.

What else could you possibly want but some great laughs and B-movie, sploitation fun to balance the love and jollyness? For more reasons, check out the clips below:

Mazel tov!

All young Mordechai wants to do is spin his dreidel.

The Hebrew Hammer faces skinheads.

If you haven't already, also check out Patrick Walsh's interview with Hammer scribe Andrew Kesselman.

A Christmas Story



It's been 24 years since this film has come out, but it's just as fun today as it was back then. Bob Clark's classic follows Ralphie Parker, a young kid who wants a carbine action, two-hundred shot range Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas, even though everyone else thinks that he'd shoot his eye out with it. Instead of just whining about his desire, Ralphie gets creative with bear fibs, essays, and a request to one scary Santa. Meanwhile, his dad is pretty psyched over a large package that contained a sexy, fishnet-legged lamp, and mom is preoccupied with her turkey. The movie has all the Christmas themes, but enough real-life and satirical snark to keep it all balanced.

If you'd like a wild party night, don't forget the drinking game.

And in the meantime, check out these links to get you in the mood:

The cast reunited to save the Parker house.

Siskel and Ebert review the movie.

Early Wednesday morning, versatile filmmaker Bob Clark was killed in a car crash that also killed his 22-year-old son, Ariel. According to investigators, the accident, which occurred on the Pacific Coast Highway in Pacific Palisades, California, was caused by the driver of the other vehicle, who was under the influence of alcohol and had no license. That man survived the crash with minor injuries, as did his passenger, and he will be arrested on DUI and vehicular manslaughter charges once he is released from the hospital.

Depending on who you ask, Clark was best known for any one of his varied classic films. Most people probably associate him first with A Christmas Story, though some would remember him more for Porky's, which is apparently being remade by Howard Stern, or Black Christmas, a horror film which was just recently remade. He was twice-nominated for the Razzie for worst director (for Rhinestone and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2) and his most recent pictures, The Karate Dog for instance, were anything but great, but he was at the time of his death attached to a few pics that might have brought him back into favor, including a remake of his Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things.

Even if he hadn't made any more classics, though, Clark would be forever thought of as a terrific storyteller with a talent for writing and directing in different genres, including horror, teen sex comedy, mystery, holiday and family films. Also, for those of us who like to praise Joe Dante's Homecoming episode of the Masters of Horror series, it seems that Clark may have been the first to come up with the idea with the Vietnam zombie pic Deathdream (a.k.a. Dead of Night).

I found it kind of amusing that this Variety article about filmmaker Bob Clark spent a whole lot of time focusing on the fine work he did on Porky's, but neglected to mention that the man also directed Rhinestone, Turk 182!, From the Hip, Loose Cannons, Karate Dog and BOTH editions of Baby freakin' Geniuses!! Then again the article barely mentions Clark's A Christmas Story, which is such a beautiful little holiday comedy that it helps to erase the memory of all those rotten movies I mentioned a few seconds ago.

Nope, this article focuses on (what else?) remakes. As in: The long-discussed and possibly still-happening Porky's remake that'll be produced by Howard Stern. But wait! There's more! Seemingly discontent with the possibility of helming a Baby Geniuses 3 or Karate Dog 2, Mr. Clark has set his sights on remaking a few of his old horror flicks, namely Deathdream and the amusingly-titled Children Shouldn't Play with Dead Things. I suppose the filmmaker's logic is that, hey, if someone can remake his Black Christmas without his involvement, then he sure as hack can remake some of his lesser-known titles and rake in a few extra nickels of his own.

On the other hand, Clark mentions something about "rapping zombies" in this interview, and that's news that certainly doesn't make me all excited for the Children remake.

Bob Clark was the alternate icon of the eighties. While John Hughes brought out a number of red-headed features, the Florida-bred Clark was releasing alterna-classics from Toronto . Although he started his Canadian days in the seventies with horror specials like Black Christmas, the eighties lost the blood as he released two border-crossing classics -- Porky's and A Christmas Story.

Porky's existed in a time before pie sex and films that made profanity a passing phrase. The cast was a group of unknowns whose names never transcended the film, that is, except for Honeywell -aka- Kim Cattrall, who went on to play a mannequin and a sex fiend. Although the movie was panned for its misogynistic portrayals, the film quickly became a cult classic. Raging profanity and peeping kids, what could be more real? "It's outrageous, because we were outrageous." Clark notes.

In October, a not-at-all "special" edition of the film was released in the US. Now, Playback Magazine reveals that Maple Pictures will be handling a Canadian version -- hopefully one with more features -- to be released on the 21st. The anniversary comes at an interesting time, since Porky's was just partially de-throned from its spot as the highest-grossing Canadian film EVER. Yes, in the last twenty-five years, only one Canadian release has come close -- this year's Bon Cop, Bad Cop, which has gone farther in revenue, but not inflation-adjusted numbers. Now, Howard Stern has picked up the re-make rights to Porky's. Over two decades later, do we still care? Or will we all try to re-capture our youth with a DVD and remake?