No! For the love of God, make it stop!

According to Variety, Dimension Films is remaking that whimsical 80's classic Short Circuit. S.S. Wilson and Brent Maddock, the writers behind the original two films, are set to write the remake. The film will reportedly be similar in theme to the original, but will factor in advances in technology. (Really? Last I checked, we didn't have sentient robots who could be your pal!)

This has to stop. I'm too young to see my childhood paraded before me like this, a demented nightmare of what once thrilled and delighted me. I loved this movie. It has honestly been a long time since I saw it, so I doubt it has held up -- but I love my memories of it. I also cherish my memory of the sequel. My parents took me to see it, it was a sold out showing. And I think it was only ten or twenty minutes in before I realized how horrible it was. I do believe it was the first time I was exposed to the realization that sequels were made for money, and were often wretched. Up until then, all the sequels I had ever seen (which probably amounted to Empire Strikes Back) were awesome and worthy continuations of characters I adored.

I realize I'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill, but this trend has to stop. What's next? The Goonies? Gremlins? The Karate Kid? Big Trouble in Little China? Oh no, I've given them ideas.

Well, well ... seems the scales may finally be tipping in the WGA's favor here. First the fall of the Golden Globes, and then the news that Tom Cruise and Paula Wagner's United Artists were making a side deal with the WGA similar to the deal struck earlier with David Letterman's Worldwide Pants. Now the Weinsteins, according to this story in the New York Post, are also close to making a "me too" deal, and Deadline Hollywood Daily is also tossing out rumors of Lionsgate and Lucasfilm coming around.

Neither Cruise nor the Weinsteins are stupid; making independent deals with the WGA can only give them a huge advantage over the major studios, and the more the independents strike deals, the more like arrogant assholes rich guys the moguls look. And you've gotta love any deal that makes Tom Cruise and the Weinsteins look like the nicest guys in the room, right?

It seems as though the WGAs strategy of making deals with the independent studios might not have been such a bad idea after all ... could this signal the beginning of the end of the writer's strike? Stay tuned ...

Last week, there was a lot of controversy surrounding the announcement that Harvey and Bob Weinstein are producing a gala event to honor Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott, Jr. After all, the Weinsteins are known for their support of the Democratic party and for their distributing liberal-sided docs like Fahrenheit 9/11 and the new Barbara Kopple film Shut Up & Sing. So, what are they doing hobnobbing with the enemy of their friends? The official reason is that the Weinsteins support Scott's new efforts to sustain environmental friendliness, but a number of people are pointing out other reasons the brothers might desire a good relationship with the retail company.

Radar has a report on some of these reasons, which include the Weinsteins' hopes for priority placement in Wal-Mart's stores and their need for Wal-Mart to go easier on movies depicting sex and drugs. Variety more specifically addressed the Weinsteins' recent control of Genius Products, which will be making straight-to-video, family-friendly films that cater well to Wal-Mart's demographic. Wake-Up Wal-Mart has gone so far as to write a letter of disapproval to the Weinsteins.

So, now what happens when Michael Moore, who is already a critic of Wal-Mart, decides his next activist doc is against the stores? Will the Weinsteins still support their golden boy?

In related news, SpielbergFilms.net is pointing out that Wal-Mart is now selling Poltergeist on DVD for less than $5. It's things like this that make it hard for moviefans to keep up a hatred for the stores, but I think we can all hold out for next year's 25th Anniversary edition, right?

At the Traverse City Film Festival, Michael Moore finally talked in practical terms about his health care film, Sicko, for the first time. Though he's clearly passionate about exposing the problems with American health care, Moore still seems to be struggling a bit with the film -- after all, he says, "everyone knows that health care is a mess in this country." His goal, then, seems to be less education than motivation: Moore hopes that Sicko "pushes health care to the top of the public agenda" and, presumably, forces politicians to get involved. The problem, though, is that all the health care companies know exactly who Moore is, so the moment he shows up to document the struggles of a family dealing with an outrageous situation, "they get free health care." According to Moore, "There has been a 100% success rate of the people we're filming of getting whatever they need from the HMOs, pharmaceutical companies, whatever." Well, that's progress. Now all we have to do to fix things is have Moore travel to all the families with complaints, and the health care issue will be solved, right?

In addition to the pressure of simply pulling the film together, Moore is facing high expectations, from both his supporters and his bosses, Harvey and Bob Weinstein. According to Moore, the pair have been securing financing for the film by telling potential investors that it will gross $40 million, a total that would make Sicko the third highest-earning documentary of all time. Whoa. I mean, it's nice for bosses to have confidence and all, but couldn't they have said, like, $15 million? At this rate, ending up the fifth most successful doc ever would make Sicko a failure to its investors.

Just a few weeks after the ugly Crash producer debacle went public, another best picture-winning film is finding itself in court. According to Martin Richards, founder of The Producer Circle Company, Miramax is screwing him out of $10 million (give or take a few million) of profits that his co-producer credit for Chicago should have earned. In his lawsuit, Richards claims that his company owned the movie rights to the musical, and that co-producers Bob and Harvey Weinstein have refused to pay him the percentage he is owed. The core of Richard's suit is his claim that, though his contract terms guaranteed him a percentage of gross profits (figured before expenses are taken out), the Weinsteins are trying to pay him based on net profits (with expenses taken out - obviously a much smaller figure). So far, Richards claims he has been paid only $500,000 ("$300,00 as a producing fee and $200,000 when the movie passed its 'first cash break even level'").

Looking for a The Lord of the Rings of their very own, the Weinstein brothers have acquired the rights to a series of five martial arts novels by Wang Du Lu. Collectively known as the Crane-Iron Pentalogy, the books gained exposure to a world-wide audience (though that audience probably didn't know it at the time) when the fourth in the series was used as the source for Ang Lee's wildly successful Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. The planned movies - the most exciting of which will inevitably be Precious Sword, Golden Hairpin - will function as prequels and a sequel to Lee's film.

In addition to crowing about how these upcoming marital arts films are "an opportunity to do something revolutionary" (What that means is anyone's guess - cast Asian actors in Hollywood? Make a movie with the word "hairpin" in the title?), the Weinsteins also announced tentative plans to create a stage version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Yikes. Why do I immediately think of Andrew Lloyd Webber and a completely inappropriate emphasis on visual effects?

This just in to the Cinematical Newsroom! Harvey Weinstein is braving the transit strike-flooded streets of Manhattan! I just received the following string of text messages from Martha:

––I just walked past harvey weinstein. He was talking about 'splitting ten grand' - probably lunch plans.
––Well, it might have been Bob - are they both fat and unshaven?
––I just saw a pic of Bob - this was definitely Harv.

So what do you think Harvey Weinstein is splitting ten grand on? I say it has something to do with trying to fix opening grosses on The Matador.