It may not be Brutal Deluxe, but are you ready for Rambo and Terminator, Bollywood style?

Okay, they're not headlining a Bollywood feature together, but The Sunday Times reports that Sylvester Stallone is starring with Ashkay Kumar and Kareena Kapoor in a new Hollywood-centric Bollywood film called Incredible Love, one that has Arnold Schwarzenegger popping up in a part. The story focuses on "an Indian stuntman who takes Hollywood by storm but cannot find true love there." Oh, the woes of stuntdom. It's a lonely life.

Arnie is said to "feature in the production," which I imagine will be a cameo in between his busy political life -- do some politicking here, smack down a couple of baddies there... And, this shouldn't be too difficult, since the Bollywood film is going to be shot at Universal Studios in Hollywood.

So, it's not some big duo flick, but at the very least, we've got both of them in a stunt-themed movie. I can only hope this won't just be a boring cameo for Arnie, and that the pair can tap into their '80s muscle-men mentality together and show the stuntman some real moves.

They had me at "Marvel Comics amusement park." They even had me at "Brad Pitt-designed hotel and resort." But the good people of Dubai just won't stop trying to woo me with movie-related developments. Now they're saying: "Bollywood theme park." I got so excited that I almost prematurely bought my plane ticket. Then I realized that the thing isn't exactly constructed yet. Also, I thought about how unfamiliar I actually am with Bollywood films (I took a class, but was only taught so much) and realized it isn't that attractive to someone like me. But for the millions and millions of Bombay-produced cinema fans, this is going to be huge.

Of course, as pointed out in this Empire article, the idea is not for a general Bollywood-themed park. It's specifically related to the films of Yash Raj Entertainment. So, unfortunately, no Mother India-based "Canal of Modernization" flume ride. Or Lagaan-inspired cricket stadium. No Hum Aapke Hain Koun-based women-in-drag show, either. Still, Yash Raj has put out some of the most popular Indian films of this decade, including Bunty Aur Babli and Dhoom. The latter (and its sequel) should be able to lend itself to a cool motorcycle-type ride.

It's not a pretty story. Imagine that your daughter is raped and murdered while staying at an Indian resort in Goa. You then have to force authorities to investigate what was originally ruled as a drowning, and then you don't even get to bring back all of your daughter. It sounds too weird to be true, and now the BBC reports that the story is getting made into a Bollywood film, with reports saying that "Prabhakar Shukla has already approached actress Katrina Kaif and will start filming in July."

In February, the 15-year-old Scarlett Keeling was murdered while in Doa. After an initial flub that ruled her death as a drowning, a murder investigation was opened, and two men have been arrested for her death. But the really strange part -- her uterus, kidneys, and stomach were removed and now her mother has to fight to have them returned. What the eff?! "The Indian government told Mrs MacKeown there was no system in place for her request to be carried out. Mr Varma said his client could formally request that the organs be flown back to the UK, but if this could not be done she would have to return to Goa." Umm ... okay.

The film is said to be welcomed by Scarlett's mom, if the facts are portrayed correctly, "... but if there is too much of a deterioration from the facts she will be disturbed by it because the film is what the Indian people will believe." Hopefully it helps her plight. I can't even begin to imagine having to fight to keep all of your daughter intact when she's laid to rest.

It's time for yet another story about people taking cinema way too seriously. Fortunately, most stories don't have disastrous results, but sometimes the fiery words lead to a scary reality, like the murder of filmmaker Theo van Gogh. Pakistani pop singer Ali Haider isn't willing to take that chance. The BBC reports that he has backed out of the lead role in an upcoming Bollywood film called Osama after being threatened over his potential involvement.

Not about the infamous Bin Laden directly, the film will follow a Kashmir boy named Osama who is at the World Trade Center during the 9/11 attacks. Haider says that the film was a love story that he hoped would change the image of Pakistani people: "It was to show the world the other side of the coin. I felt it was my responsibility as a Muslim. But I have to look after a family of which I am the sole bread-winner."

In November, he started getting threats over the phone (up to 10 a day), and said that those dealing the threats knew "everything about my movements; when I am at the jogging track, or when I am in the gym." After the assassination of Benazir Bhutto, he wondered what would happen to someone like him, and pulled out of the role -- a decision he says cost him $160,000. There is no word yet on who will replace him in the film.

The film only got a brief, limited release in May, and now Variety reports that Warner Brothers has grabbed the North American DVD and pay-per-view/on-demand rights to Americanizing Shelley, which will be let loose on the American and Canadian public February 5 of next year. The brainchild of writer/producer/star Namrata Singh Gujral, and directed by Lorraine Senna (Sopranos), Shelley is a Bollywood/Hollywood production about a "wanna-be Hollywood player, who sets out to Americanize an Indian girl straight from the Himalayas." She comes to the US, sees her arranged husband smooching some white girl, and then gets picked to be Hollywood's next star.

If that's not enough to whet your appetite, how about the fact that the flick is pun-crazy? The film proves that "You Can't Curry Love!" and shows "a new game of the cowboy and the Indian." I couldn't make that up if I tried! Okay, I could, but I'm not sure that I'd want to. The former shows up on the film's website, while the latter is from the trailer. I wish I could tell you more about the film, but the synopsis on the website is just filled with puns and those lines that movie PR people love, like "Their clash in cultures soon gives way to understanding, unity, and love as they begin to see the world through each other's eyes," rather than solid info. But there is this: Shelley also co-stars has a cameo from ex-kid actor, Star Trek alum, and all-star blogger (who also occasionally writes for TV Squad) Wil Wheaton.

*Fixed thanks to Wil. Tricky website sporting Wil's face first, as if he's a co-star.

Considered to be the third best American film of all time by the American Film Institute, Casablanca is a classic -- even if fans can't get the quotes right. It's also one that I think could infuriate a lot of people if it ever got remade -- that being said, we're getting a remake -- but one quite far away from our North American shores. Indian director Rajeev Nath is going to make a Bollywood remake called Ezham Mudra (The Seventh Seal). This isn't the first time Nath has surprised people with his plans. You might remember him making waves when he thought about casting Paris Hilton as Mother Theresa. You gotta give the guy credit for thinking outside the box!

Nath says: "As a student of films, I had watched this great classic 20 times." It's not quite the viewing numbers of ultimate fandom, but the man has other things to do. The plan for this remake is to switch it up a little -- exchanging the Tangiers-inspired Rick's Cafe for a beachside restaurant in India and WWII for the ethnic conflict in Sri Lanka (where Tamils have been fighting for a separate homeland). That being said, the film won't delve into the politics of the conflict, but just use it as a modern backdrop. Starring Suresh Gopi in Bogey's role and Mandira Bedi in Ingrid Bergman's role, Ezham Mudra will start shooting next month for release next year. I wonder if it will be dark and shadowy, like the original, or infused with that Bollywood color?

These days, hearing about drugs and cinema usually brings to mind a certain Miss Lohan and her struggles with booze, drugs and reckless driving. Sometimes, that's only the start. Famous Bollywood actor Sanjay Dutt has had a rough go of things. A struggle with drug addiction and the deaths of both his mother and first wife were unfortunately just the beginning of the famous actor's plight. Along with much Bollywood success in films like Mission Kashmir and Lage Raho Munnabhar, Dutt found himself in deep water. Way back in 1993, he was arrested in connection with the terrible bombings in Mumbai in 1993, which killed 257 people. After many years and investigations for further troubles like money-laundering and connections with kidnappers and extortionists, he's heading to jail.

The actor's connection to Mumbai -- he had acquired a mass of weapons believed to be part of the consignment used in the bombings. He kept one of the pieces, a rifle, which he later instructed his friends to destroy when he came under suspicion. Fourteen years after his original arrest, and on bail since 1995, Dutt has been sentenced to six years in jail and fined 25,000 rupees ($625). Judge Pramod Kode said: "The crime was not brutal, cruel, ghastly, inhuman, not anti-social, not immoral and did not result in any harm to anyone," but he added that it was still a serious offense.

This might stop his acting career, but I'm thinking the chances for a biopic are pretty good -- famous terrorism, drug addiction and death? What else does a story need?

If you've ever toiled away as an indie filmmaker struggling to make your film a reality, you know one of the most important things when setting out to make movies is a ready source of cash. Without financing, your movie making dream can come to a grinding halt when the realization hits that there's no money to fund your dream project. But now, as Variety reports today, there might just be a place for you to find that financing you so desperately need ... India.

According to the article, The Indian Film Company, a movie production and finance firm with backing from India's Studio 18 and Viacom/Paramount, has committed to finance and produce six new movies to be made in India's Bollywood. These latest films will be combined with the company's slate of 14 other projects to bring their total number of films to 20. Some of the new films the company is looking to move forward on include a murder mystery called Bombay Valet, directed by Anurag Kashyap, a big budget remake of Chashme Badoor to be directed by upcoming helmer Onir and Fruit and Nut, the directorial debut of popular actor Kunal Vijayakar.

Even though it may seem that this company has its hands full producing its own moves, don't lose hope. The more money that gets invested in India to make films, the better. Finding financing for your film in India may seem to be a pretty crazy idea. But keep in mind that this is Hollywood and we're talking about making movies here. When fighting to make your film happen, there are no crazy ideas -- just ones you haven't thought of yet.

You always have to worry when you hear "record year." Such feats make shoes hard to fill, or you do fill them, only to slam into that ceiling quicker than you realize. In 2006, Bollywood had a record year -- based on a small number of the 200 films made. Many barely covered production costs, but there were enough enormous hits -- like Krishh and Dhoom 2 -- that brought in huge enough earnings to balance things out. Last year, it was said that Bollywood's success was due to reversing the trend of "clichéd love stories and predictable family dramas to experiment with new themes." This year marks a return to formula, and a mass disappearance of revenue.

According to the CBC, Bollywood is already suffering a 40% drop in revenues since last year, when comparing the same periods -- a loss that amounts to approximately $36 million US. Out of the 55 films that have screened so far, 45 have bombed -- this includes Fool N Final, which I told you about when Mike Tyson decided to lend his moves to the film's music video. The only films to do relatively well are Namastey London (which has grossed just over $15 million worldwide) and Guru (sitting at just over $24 million).

Instead of opening their arms to the traditional plots of boy-meets-girl and song-and-dance, Indian audiences are looking elsewhere -- mainly at low-budget flicks and Hollywood sequels. I guess if you're sick of your own regurgitated schlock, why not delight in another country's? While many of us stateside aren't happy with the state of sequels this summer, Shrek the Third, Spider-Man 3 and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End are doing well where they used to fail, according to Indian film-sector analyst Taran Adarsh: "They have gained popularity because they have started dubbing their films in multiple Indian languages." One person's disappointment is another's...

Indian cinema isn't like US cinema ... at least not yet. In 2003, the cinematically prolific India had close to double the feature films of the US -- 877 -vs- 473. Is it a big, sacred cash cow? It might not seem so with movie tickets costing less than half of one US dollar, but last year the industry raked in over a billion dollars -- imagine the profits if they paid what we do! While the sheer size of the industry makes the North America's look teeny, they can't come close to the power of the movie merchandise business -- at least not yet.

Derek Bose, the author of Brand Bollywood: A New Entertainment Order told Reuters that "Bollywood's top producers and studios have woken up to the possibility of earning money other than from the box office which can not remain their only revenue source." Yes, they've woken up and smelled the possibilities. The industry has embraced the idea of media convergence, and are delighting in multi-platform branding. Last year, Krrish, a huge Bollywood sci-fi hit, came out with everything from action dolls to costumes and stationary.

But is it too early? Sure, the plan can latch on to India's growing middle class, but we're talking about a nation which boasts over a billion people, yet only a small fraction have the technology to delight in merchandise websites or cell phone marketing. Then again, they're only getting roughly 20 cents a moviegoer, so they've got to make it up somewhere.