I have a problem. As a moviegoer, I'm always attracted to charisma over deed. More times than I can count, I find myself rooting for the bad guy and hoping that they bring the bland hero down. Of course, sometimes it's a fight between hero and villain for who has the most charisma, and sometimes the film wants us to love the villain, but whatever the case, the thorn is usually a lot more fun than the hero he's stuck onto. And this means that I'm often disappointed at the end, because the bad guy almost always dies.

Still, this is what's so great about film -- you can love the baddies without the real-world consequences. We've all heard about bad-guy lust, but this way, the baddie can do his bad thing for us to enjoy, without us getting all of the negative repercussions. We get the wild eye without the body count, the ripped muscles without the steroid set-up, and the twisted humor without the reality.

However, seeing that bad guys are my kryptonite, it's hard to pick just seven. While the following is, by no means, all-encompassing, it's a list of some of my favorite baddies. Some we're told to love, and others, well, they just steal the show.

Jason Dean -- Heathers

This is probably what started it all. When my friends and I gathered around the television to watch Christian Slater's new movie, we were immediately smitten. We didn't care that J.D. had a thing for doling out his own deadly justice. By the time he said: "Alright, so maybe I am killing everyone in the school... because nobody loves me!" We were exclaiming: "We love you!" J.D. had the drawling, Jack Nicholson voice, the sexy trench, and the need to row out to the middle of a lake somewhere with a bottle of tequila, his sax, and some Bach. He was very. Very very.

Okay, so the hot topic in all of Cinema these days is of course Johnny Depp's triumphant return to the silver screen as Captain Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. It is a movie that seems to transcend all viewer blocs and appeal to practically everyone, definitely geeks inclusive. For this reason, I feel entirely compelled to dedicate this week's issue of the Geek Beat to the flick. The whole industry is talking about this movie, and I want to join in the fun.

Now here's the deal. Those of you who read even semi-regularly are fully aware I don't do movie reviews. I'm not a critic, I don't pretend to be -- I leave that to better minds than my own. I find that if I get caught up in trying to be a critic, I entirely lose sight of the geeky fanboy nature of movie watching. It ceases being fun for me, because I'm too busy focusing on the minutia and trying to sound intelligent. I'm just not talented enough to pull it off. Besides, we here at Cine already have two fantastic reviews of the film for you to digest if that's what you are after, and Scott and James are far too talented of an act for me to follow. Instead, I'm going to do what the Geek Beat does best: offer the off-the-wall thoughts of your resident geek. So here, in no particular order, are the thoughts which ran through my head as I watched this summer's dandy (which, by the way, I absolutely loved). SPOILER HATERS BEWARE, I imagine the following will incidentally touch on some major plot points.