"What fresh hell is this?"
-Dorothy Parker, reportedly as she cast her first glance upon a poster for Disaster Movie

Let's get this out of the way: Disaster Movie is indeed a disaster first, and a movie barely, pure pop culture pablum for da masses (say it aloud, there you go) as can only be expected from the likes of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. It's another opus that, despite opening titles done in the style of Armageddon's and a feeble thru-line borrowed from Cloverfield (mixed with some of The Day After Tomorrow), is as much a send-up of disaster-related films as Epic Movie was a spoof of actual epic movies.

It takes two minutes for the first crotch shot, four minutes for the first belch gag, thirty for someone to get breast milk on their face, forty-five for someone to get feces on their face, and about sixty for a record scratch to tell us that something peculiar just happened. In between, the characters relentlessly name-check movies and celebrities and websites and any other manner of the vaguely familiar, the bulk of which I've taken to listing below (because if you're still going to see this willingly, I still doubt that you care much for reading at all).

(As for the rest of you: You're welcome.)

Cinematical has just received this exclusive poster for the new spoof flick Disaster Movie (click image above to enlarge), which hits theaters later this summer and comes to us from the warped minds of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer (Meet the Spartans, Epic Movie, Date Movie). It shouldn't be too hard to figure out where this one is heading; based on the poster and title, it looks like Disaster Movie will spoof films like The Day After Tomorrow and other similar, end-of-days Hollywood blockbusters. (Just the fact that Al Gore gets a mention on the poster probably means the boys are gonna have a little fun with him, too). Spoof regular Carmen Electra stars, alongside Kimberly Kardashian, Matt Lanter and Vanessa Minnillo.

Disaster Movie explodes onto movie screens everywhere this August 29.

After the stunning cinematic achievement that was Meet the Spartans, I know you were all wondering, with bated breath, when we would get more. While this doesn't seem to be a sequel, Variety reports that Grosvenor Park is going to finance a new, untitled project from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, otherwise known as the writer/director team behind Spartans.

The pair have just started directing from their script in Shreveport, LA, and while there's no word on what this latest comedy will be about, it's got a cast that includes Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian, G-Thang, Nicole Parker, Crista Flanagan, and Ike Barinholtz. Sounds excellent, eh? We won't even have to wait long for it. The film is scheduled to be released this August.

Sure, there was only one "fresh" review on Rotten Tomatoes (from Kam Williams at News Blaze), IMDb voters rated it 2.3/10, giving it the #88 spot on the Bottom 100 list, and 63.8% of those who voted at Box Office Mojo gave it an F, but it still managed to gross $77,758,391 worldwide. I wonder how many bad films this team can make before people stop going to see them?

Well, I guess you have to admire a gal who has relatively 'meager' talents, but has managed to survive long enough to actually maintain a movie career. Although, when your movie is made by T&A monthly (A.K.A Maxim), I guess it's not like you will be headed for that Oscar podium any time soon. Variety reports that Carmen Electra is set to star in Maxim's Mardi Gras. The ensemble comedy also stars Nicholas D'Agosto (Rocket Science), Josh Gad, Brett Harrison, Arielle Kebbel, Danneel Haris, Regina Hall, and Becky and Jessica O'Donohue. Phil Dornfeld will direct Josh Heald's script about three best friends on vacation in the Big Easy, and are on the hunt for the ultimate party. Of course they find it, and then plenty of wackiness and gratuitous nudity will ensue.

The magazine for men who are too embarrassed to go buy real pornography first announced its intentions to get into the movie business back in July. There were three projects in the deal between the magazine and Sony Screen Gems, and Mardi Gras was the third title they had announced (some of their other jaw-droppingly crappy titles include Maxim's Virginity Rocks and Fired Up). I guess Mardi Gras will now go to the top of the pile; it is set to begin filming on location in New Orleans starting April 29th. If you can't get enough of Electra, you can always go catch Meet the Spartans -- although you might want to hurry, since that film is probably headed for the discount DVD bin any minute now.