Cinematical7 Tagged Articles at Cinematical

We're nearing the end of the Harry Potter series, and I imagine every fan is dreading that day a little bit. It was hard enough when the last book came out, but at least we had the comfort of anticipating a few more cinematic adaptations. But soon we'll be graduating from the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and left to muddle through the Muggle world without new encounters with Harry, Hermione, and Ron.

Since we started Potter week with seven good Potter jokes, I thought it would be fun to end Potter week with a gushing, lovelorn look at seven of my favorite moments of the series. Like any Potter fan, I tend to walk out of the theater overjoyed, and then immediately start picking on all the things that were changed. But look at all the things from the books that they've gotten right – and sometimes even improved on! Here's seven such moments from all five films so far. I hope you share your own in the comments.


1. The first glimpse of Hogwarts' Great Hall (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

I remember being a little skeptical as Chris Columbus' first installment breathlessly raced through its first scenes. I loved the opening with baby Harry, but then the film seemed to dash over the ugliness of the Dursleys in order to get to The Really Cool Stuff(!). Luckily, the film took a moment to pause, and show us that they cared with its first breathtaking look at the Great Hall. There it was – the changing sky, the floating candles, the Gothic arches, and a serene Professor Dumbledore (Richard Harris, who I still prefer over Michael Gambon) surveying it all. I remember thinking "Oh! So that's what Hogwarts looks like!"

If Benjamin Franklin is right (and I suspect he is) that beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy*, then hard liquor may be proof that Satan exists, and laughs at our agony the morning after indulging. But if there's a silver lining to a hangover, it's that it inspires a movie actually called The Hangover, allowing us to laugh about our own drunken antics ... and sigh in relief that they've never been bad enough to land us with a tiger, a baby, or a Mike Tyson punch. Then again, depending on what college or parties you've attended, you may have preferred to wake up with all three and a missing tooth rather than whatever or whoever you found yourself with. It doesn't always stay in Vegas.

So, in honor of the hard-partiers in The Hangover, here's seven wicked hangovers captured onscreen. It's difficult to narrow it down to just seven, so I've tried to represent just about everything except Cocktail. There's individual scenes, dark tales, and laugh out loud fratboy antics here, and ranked completely at random. They might actually make you think twice about accepting another shot of tequlia. Of course, if we ever learned from cinematic example or past experience, we'd probably never bite the lime or shout "Nastrovia!" more than once in our entire lives.

*There's no proof Franklin ever said this, but let's just lie and say he did

I had planned to theme my Cinematical Seven around a DVD that was cute and cuddly, like The Tale of Despereaux, but a list of movie mice isn't much fun to write, let alone read. So when in doubt ... go with Doubt. It is Lent, after all, a time that was always a bit fraught with religious drama even in my Lutheran upbringing. My church didn't require us to give up anything -- but I have guilty memories of being asked who I loved more, Jesus or my parents. Heavy stuff for a seven-year-old.

So I thought I might provoke a little conversation by listing seven films that are centered around theological distress. Some of the picks are a bit light-hearted, others a little more controversial, but all are worth talking about. Spoilers abound, so if you really don't know how Dogma or The Last Temptation of Christ ends, skip this post for something safer.

1. The Last Temptation of Christ

Both Nikos Kazantzakis' novel and Martin Scorsese's film continue to attract controversy for daring to portay a Jesus who was uncertain, troubled, and struggling with his destiny. I can't really say it any better than Roger Ebert did, so let's just quote him: "Here he is flesh and blood, struggling, questioning, asking himself and his father which is the right way, and finally, after great suffering, earning the right to say, on the cross, 'It is accomplished.'"

2. Agnes of God

Immaculate conception or someone taking advantage of a troubled young nun? Are her actions tinged with madness or inspired by a higher power? Neither the movie nor the play its based on ever really answers the question, and neither explanation offers much comfort.

"It was only when we got together that the problems really started. I sometimes think without the Minutemen we might have given up and called it quits pretty soon. The costumed adventurer might have become quietly and simply extinct. And the world might not be in the mess it's in today." -- Under the Hood.

In honor of the Minutemen and the Crimebusters, I present you with seven superhero teams in search of a movie. Forget thoughts of "too obscure," "too impossible" or "too expensive" -- there are no limits and no end to the studio's hunger for superheroes. After all, studios are buying up Valiant comics now; Youngblood is coming ... and any one of these teams is a far, far better option than that.


The Justice League of America
The first pick has to be the most obvious. While the film exists in a hazy status of pre-production, the idea seems downright impossible, largely because of a guy named Christopher Nolan, and a Batman that doesn't mesh well with the fantastic elements of the JLA. Despite that many fans have clamored to keep the team in the realm of animation, all this Avengers talk will force the hand of Warner Bros. They'll find a way, with or without Batman.

Alpha Flight
One of the only Canadian superhero teams, and one of the many superhero teams to enjoy the membership of Wolverine, Alpha Flight is just waiting to be picked up and meshed into Fox's X-Men universe. I'm surprised there hasn't been more talk of doing just that, particularly since the series has a pretty strong fanbase, and a nice dose of diversity: The series features two Native Americans, and the first openly gay superhero.

2008 was a year of incredible casts -- just about every film released this year can elicit a "Holy crap, do you know who all is in that? It has to be good!" This was a year that saw Oscar-winning actresses in popcorn flicks like Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Speed Racer, Edward Norton go green and hulking, and Tom Cruise nominated for a prosthetics-heavy cameo. That many of the films didn't live up to the cast's potential (The Women, Deception and Righteous Kill, to name three random examples) is disappointing, expected, and ultimately something to wonder "With a cast like that, how did they blow it?" in years to come.

However, many of the movies did get it right -- and it is really hard to narrow it down to seven. I tried to avoid the obvious picks such as The Dark Knight, decided the vocal talent of Kung Fu Panda didn't count, and tried to throw in some unexpected and overlooked casts. Hey, I have to leave you something to disagree with, right?

1. Tropic Thunder

Hands down, this is the best ensemble of the year. Not only is practically everyone in Hollywood in it (and whoever isn't, they're mocking), but they all managed to be funny. There's a million ways this cast could have gone wrong, but they managed to get it right. That's pretty rare for any ensemble, let alone a comedic one.

When it comes to unconventional holiday stories, I believe we have one man to thank: Charles Dickens. We're so numb to the traditional charms and affirmations of A Christmas Carol that we don't realize how bizarre it really is. Visions of death and despair figure more prominently than sugar plums and reindeer hooves -- I mean, the Grim Reaper shows up! Surely that helped pave the way for violent Christmas stories like these. I doubt many of you will find these selections that unconventional (Die Hard is a Christmas staple in many a household) but they certainly don't star Jimmy Stewart or Charlie Brown.

1. L.A. Confidential

"You're like Santa Claus with that list, Bud, except everyone on it's been naughty. " This is a Christmas staple in our house. Technically, only the beginning of the film is set at Christmas, but the entire plot hinges on that fateful holiday. If Bud White had never stopped to buy some booze for the station's Christmas party, he and Ed Exley would have never cracked the case, plain and simple. This is a great film to watch all year round, but you really need to squeeze in a viewing between Miracle on 34th Street and It's a Wonderful Life. (And Bud's smackdown on that abusive husband? Sexier than The Holiday.)

2. The Long Kiss Goodnight

Christmas and Shane Black go together like holly and ivy. I think Long Kiss is particularly suited to the holidays, because sandwiched in between all the guns, knives, explosions, and Samuel L. Jackson expletives is the most traditional Christmas theme of all. That ruthless assassin Charlie Baltimore tries to pretend her daughter and her fiancee were nothing more than a cover to her -- but then she catches a glimpse of her family through the scope of her rifle and realizes what they mean to her. Cue the jingle bells and bring out the hanky!

William Shakespeare left many of his plays appallingly open ended. Look at Malvolio in Twelfth Night -- he storms off, swearing revenge, and no one seems unduly concerned. Don John the Bastard in Much Ado About Nothing is left unpunished until the weddings are over, and probably escaped once his brother's back was turned. All's Well That Ends Well does anything but end well, with Bertram demanding a DNA test of his wife Helena. But even the most bloody and tragic endings have a little bit of wiggle room -- and as this week's Hamlet 2 proves, all you need is a device, Jesus, and a can do attitude! In honor of Sexy Jesus and time machines, here are seven Shakespeare sequels that could make the Bard turn over in his grave. (And who says English Literature degrees are useless?)

(#7 added in, somehow it got lost between Notepad and Blogsmith. Sorry everyone.)

1. Cressida in the City

This sexy sequel to Shakespeare's bitter Trojan satire Troilus and Cressida finds the heroine living the life of a carefree and single Greek woman. She's not unfaithful, she's choosy – and why shouldn't she be when she has her pick of ripped warriors the likes of which 300 hasn't seen? Of course, this being Hollywood, she will eventually realize she loved Troilus all along – and he'll forgive her, buy her a really expensive apartment, and happily fund her addiction to expensive sandals.