Lionsgate is very eager to get their remake of Conan the Barbarian up and shooting. How can they not be? At this point, Conan spin-offs Thulsa Doom and Red Sonja are neatly beating it in the pre-production department (Red Sonja already has a star, a director, and merchandise already!), and both were green-lit after Conan. A sad state of affairs for the Cimmerian, indeed.

But it looks like things are moving again. According to The Hollywood Reporter, they've has hired Dirk Blackman and Howard McCain to rework the script. They seem a pretty good fit for the pulpy source, being fresh off Outlander (which McCain also directed) and Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans. They're still looking for a director, but would anyone be surprised if they decided on McCain?

They're replacing Thomas Dean Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer, who wrote several drafts, apparently none of which was to the studio's liking. The CEO of Paradox Entertainment, Fredrik Malmberg, is aiming to stick close to the source material. He'd also like to become a franchise. (Is that a surprise to anyone? Thought not.) "There's no reason there couldn't be a Conan movie every two years. He's almost like Batman: He's a dark hero. He's a hard hero. He has to be badass, but we also have to like him."

Lionsgate is also looking to restart another long-delayed swords-and-loincloths project -- McCain and Blackman's Amazon, to which Scarlett Johansson has long been attached, has landed in the studio's loving hands. They're looking for a director for that, too. It wasn't that long ago that I wished for a resurgence of swords and sorcery -- and I'm getting it. It's going to be glorious! Chainmail bikinis and dudes with eight-packs, all worthy of being painted on the side of your van. Welcome back, 1980!

Djimon Hounsou's "dream project" has finally been confirmed in the trades. Variety reports that Hounsou is pairing up with Dynamite Entertainment to star in and produce a movie about Thulsa Doom, nemesis of King Kull and Conan the Barbarian.
The character originally appeared in Robert E. Howard's story Delcardes' Cat, and is getting his own comic book series (courtesy of Dynamite) next year.

You probably remember Thulsa Doom as being played by the incomparable James Earl Jones in the classic Conan the Barbarian movie. But if you're a fan of Howard's work, you know that Jones' character didn't resemble the literary one very much. The original Thulsa Doom is an undead sorcerer with the face of a skull, with eyes of fire, and all kinds of scary powers.

So, unless Hounsou is going to bury his handsome face behind make-up or CGI, the new Thulsa Doom will be more in line with Jones' character, and another departure from Howard's original pulp stories. Already, they are looking to make a demonic villain more inviting, as Hounsou's film will show how the once heroic Doom went all mean and nasty. Just once, wouldn't it cool to have a movie about a demonic sorcerer who happily eschewed the straight and narrow? Thank goodness J.R.R. Tolkien left no such wiggle room with Sauron or Morgoth, eh?

I'll be completely honest with you: I seriously don't know how I feel about this latest rumor. But first, the news: Bloody Disgusting says they have "confirmed 100% that Rob Zombie has been taking meetings with Lionsgate and Nu Image to get behind the director's chair for their upcoming Conan film." And yes, when we say Conan film, we're talking Conan the Barbarian (aka the re-imagining of the film that starred Arnold Schwarzenegger wayyy back in the day). Rob Zombie. Conan. Crazy, right? Now keep in mind "taking meetings" doesn't necessarily mean the guy is directing the film. I'm sure a number of folks have "taken meetings" with regards to directing Conan, but Zombie's name is definitely the most bizarre thus far to come out of the Conan camp.

Don't get me wrong, if Lionsgate and Nu Image did bring Zombie onboard, they're almost guaranteed a hit at the box office. There's just something about Zombie and his "f*ck the rules" persona that excites people; gets them all jazzed up. And, from someone who doesn't care all that much about the Conan franchise, I think it would be kinda cool if they tossed in a director who no one in their right mind would ever expect. Bringing on Zombie would pretty much guarantee a "dark as all hell" Conan film; one that would almost certainly contain lots of blood and severed limbs. It could be very cool. I'd be curious to hear from you hardcore Conan fans -- is Zombie the guy you'd like to see behind the camera? If not him, then who?

UPDATE: A Cinematical commenter pointed out that Zombie did take meetings, but turned down the gig because the script was already completed. Instead, he will next direct a biker film called Tyrannosaurus Rex. STYD backs up this statement.

This video is a little absurd; most of the re-dubbed dialogue makes little sense; and I can't help but feeling there could be more done with the idea, but isn't it the funniest Star Wars mash-up you've ever seen? A-ha! It's scenes from Star Wars with Darth Vader's lines replaced with those of King Jaffe Joffer from Coming to America. It works because James Earl Jones, who plays Joffer, was also the voice of Vader. But wouldn't it have been more logical to have the whole looking for his son thing to pertain to Luke Skywalker? Well, all mash-ups can't be perfect. Fortunately all the repetition of "A-ha!" and "and ... " makes Star Wars come across as a Monty Python movie, so it is at least hilarious. The only thing better would be if the "Yakkety Sax"-scored clips of Star Wars were combined with this video. That would be even sillier than this other favorite (and official) Star Wars video.

So, I guess there could be more of these mash-ups employing the dialogue of other James Earl Jones roles. Some that I would like to see would feature the lines of The Lion King's King Mufasa, The Sandlot's Mr. Mertle, Field of Dreams' Terrence Mann, Soul Man's Professor Banks and of course Conan the Barbarian's Thulsa Doom. Here's one that would be perfect for Leia's prison scene: "Next time you get arrested, use it to call me. I'll bring you your books. You can study in jail." And this would be appropriate for any old scene dealing with Vader and his minions: "I want them to stop looking to me for answers, begging me to speak again, write again, be a leader. I want them to start thinking for themselves. I want my privacy." OK, I've got the ball rolling; now someone get me those mash-ups. "I'm prepared to compensate you ... Shall we say one ... A-ha!"

Well, either John McTiernan took a pass on the offer or AICN had their collective legs pulled when news came that Die Hard helmer McTiernan was in talks to direct the Conan the Barbarian update for Millennium Films. Dark Horizons has now reported that French director Xavier Gens told film site Le Film Francais.com that he was in line to direct the fantasy update. After the drawn-out battle for the rights to re-make the 1982 film, it seems like the production is still having a little trouble finding a director or a star. Although AICN did name Gerard Butler as one of the contenders for the role (I guess he has plenty of experience in a loincloth already). Gens is probably best known as the director for the video game flick Hitman -- which might not be the best calling card if you take the cringe-worthy score of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes as any indication of the man's abilities.

Gens entrance into the Hollywood blockbuster scene probably didn't quite work out as he had hoped. First, there were rumors that there were arguments with the studio over Hitman's rating, and then finally there was talk that Gens had been pulled from the project altogether. There was some PR back-pedaling surrounding the problems with Hitman, but even if the rumors weren't completely true, it could not have helped his reputation. But since Gen's involvement in Conan is still a rumor at this point, fans probably shouldn't get too worried just yet. Let's just wait until we hear something a little more official. Conan the Barbarian is scheduled for release in 2009.

So the last that most of us had heard from action-director John McTiernan was that there was the very real possibility that he was about to be incarcerated for four months -- however pesky little details like prison time have never stopped the rumor mill before; so why start now? Ain't It Cool News reports a rumor that originated on the French film site Mad Movies, that Nu Image has McTiernan at the top of their wish-list of directors for their new spin on the Conan franchise. According to the article (and what I could make out with my high school French), Nu Image wants to entrust their fledgling trilogy to the man behind some of the best (and worst) action films of the last 20 years. With a projected budget of $80 million, it makes sense that Nu Image would want an action vet like McTiernan behind the camera.

Back in June, Christopher reported that New Line had snagged the rights to the franchise from Warner Bros. But as we all know, that was not to last, and by August Millennium Films had secured the rights to revive the franchise. There are still plenty of unanswered questions when it comes to the Conan remake, though it has already been confirmed that the film is going to go with an entirely new approach. So far, the buzz has Gerard Butler (300) in the lead to take over the part, but like so much surrounding the film it's only a rumor at this point. So in the midst of all this speculation, stay tuned to Cinematical for any official updates that come our way.

While everyone was busy fighting over the rights to Conan the Barbarian, another Robert E. Howard property has been quietly chugging along toward production. Variety reports that James Purefoy (Rome) has signed to star in the adaptation of Solomon Kane. The story focuses on a 16th century swordsman who has been cursed because of his bloody past. Kane vows to never fight again, until he is forced out of retirement to battle evil just one more time -- so I guess, in this cast, he really would be "too old for this s**t". The film underwent a personnel change last year when Michael J Basset (Wilderness) was hired to write and direct with no mention of the film's previous producers, Don Murphy and Gregg Hoffman. Kane will now be a joint production between Wandering Star and Davis Films (Brotherhood of The Wolf) and according to Variety, the producers are planning on a trilogy.

When Purefoy's casting was announced, Basset told ComingSoon.net, "Purefoy's ability to embody Kane's complex heroism, struggles and failings as he wages a mortal battle, made him the perfect modern hero in this epic fantasy". Like so many other English actors, Purefoy started his career with The Royal Shakespeare Company, so the man knows his way around a period piece. His face might ring a bell as 'The Black Prince' in 2001's A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. Purefoy was most recently on HBO's Rome as the famous Marc Anthony, but this summer HBO announced that the show was on its final season. Once Purefoy finishes his commitments for two upcoming TV projects, he will have plenty of time to start work on Kane.

Even though we reported a few months ago that New Line Cinema had acquired the rights to Robert E. Howard's famous sword-fighting Cimmerian Conan the Barbarian, it now appears that news was a bit premature. According to Variety, production/distribution company Millennium Films has finally won the rights to the character after New Line could not close the deal -- even after getting the exclusive right to negotiate for the franchise back in June.

According to the article, rights-holder Paradox Entertainment president and chief executive officer Fredrik Malmberg finally chose Millennium Films after extricating the rights from Warner Brothers last spring -- where the franchise had languished for several years under various directors including The Wachowski Brothers and Robert Rodriguez. With New Line unable to come to final terms this week, Malmberg went with Millennium in a seven-figure deal allowing the company to produce a slate of films based on the character.

Malmberg will produce the new films along with Millennium's Avi Lerner, Boaz Davidson, Joe Gatta and George Furla. The company intends to start production on the first of the films by next spring. Reading this news I have to say I'm a bit concerned. As a huge fan of the original Robert E. Howard books and many of the subsequent print and cinematic versions of Conan -- with the notable exception of Red Sonja -- I worry that the cinematic future of this great character is now in the hands of the people responsible for films like Alien Hunter, The Shepherd and Blonde Ambition.

Although, to be fair, Millennium has also turned out some good films too, including, um, well help me out here . . At least, according to the article, they say they intend to be more faithful to the original source material than the series of films featuring His Honor the Governor of California. I hope they stick to that and the films turn out great because the character and the story deserve it. Although, I have to say I'm not particularly optimistic about the chances of that actually happening.

Despite all the rumors and confirmed reports last year that Warner Bros. was making a new Conan movie, the studio failed to get the project going by its spring 2007 deadline. So, the rights to Robert E. Howard's character were put up for auction. Fortunately for Time Warner, the parent company of Warner Bros., the goods were picked up by its other subsidiary, New Line Cinema. Now, New Line has an 18 month option and one extension, so unless it wants to throw away the money it just spent, the studio will hopefully have something to deliver to theaters in the next few years. Considering Warners couldn't get something off the ground with big-deal talent like the Wachowski Brothers, Robert Rodriguez or Conan the Barbarian director John Milius, it is hard to imagine who, if anybody, could make this happen. Of course, now, thanks to the success of 300, it may be possible that any script featuring swords and loincloths will get a greenlight. Plus, New Line only needs to put the words 'the studio that brought you Lord of the Rings' to get people in seats. The studio could hire the worst filmmakers out there and probably still do alright.

But then the fans might put up a fuss. Still, the fans will likely be disappointed enough if Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't return to the role. And since he's just begun his second term as Governor of California, I don't think he'll be available before New Line's deadline. If you grew up in the '80s, though, your first idea of Conan was probably Schwarzenegger's portrayal, and it may be difficult to imagine another actor taking on the part. Despite the fact that Conan was in novels and comics and elsewhere for decades before Milius' film, accepting a substitute in the next movie would be like accepting another actor as The Terminator, or as Danny DeVito's twin brother. Personally, I think that without Mako, who died last year, there's already no point in trying to associate the new Conan film with the old ones, so I welcome all new faces.

Remember those wacky Red Sonja rumors from a few months back? They've been confirmed, and official dates are being set as Millennium Films gears up to join the comic book movie revolution and bring us a Red Sonja film. Early information says the film will be given a budget in excess of $25 million -- nothing like a Spider-Man or Superman to be sure, but not too shabby given the company and property  -- and (naturally) plans to build on the recent, highly popular Red Sonja comic run by Dynamite Entertainment.

For those of you who might not know, Red Sonja is part of the Conan the Barbarian pantheon created by famed fantasy guru Robert Howard. If this movie sounds familiar to you and you can't figure out why, its probably because a Red Sonja film has already happened in the mid-eighties during the Arnold-as-Conan era. Let's all pray this one is nothing like it.