This video is a little absurd; most of the re-dubbed dialogue makes little sense; and I can't help but feeling there could be more done with the idea, but isn't it the funniest Star Wars mash-up you've ever seen? A-ha! It's scenes from Star Wars with Darth Vader's lines replaced with those of King Jaffe Joffer from Coming to America. It works because James Earl Jones, who plays Joffer, was also the voice of Vader. But wouldn't it have been more logical to have the whole looking for his son thing to pertain to Luke Skywalker? Well, all mash-ups can't be perfect. Fortunately all the repetition of "A-ha!" and "and ... " makes Star Wars come across as a Monty Python movie, so it is at least hilarious. The only thing better would be if the "Yakkety Sax"-scored clips of Star Wars were combined with this video. That would be even sillier than this other favorite (and official) Star Wars video.

So, I guess there could be more of these mash-ups employing the dialogue of other James Earl Jones roles. Some that I would like to see would feature the lines of The Lion King's King Mufasa, The Sandlot's Mr. Mertle, Field of Dreams' Terrence Mann, Soul Man's Professor Banks and of course Conan the Barbarian's Thulsa Doom. Here's one that would be perfect for Leia's prison scene: "Next time you get arrested, use it to call me. I'll bring you your books. You can study in jail." And this would be appropriate for any old scene dealing with Vader and his minions: "I want them to stop looking to me for answers, begging me to speak again, write again, be a leader. I want them to start thinking for themselves. I want my privacy." OK, I've got the ball rolling; now someone get me those mash-ups. "I'm prepared to compensate you ... Shall we say one ... A-ha!"

Well, either John McTiernan took a pass on the offer or AICN had their collective legs pulled when news came that Die Hard helmer McTiernan was in talks to direct the Conan the Barbarian update for Millennium Films. Dark Horizons has now reported that French director Xavier Gens told film site Le Film Francais.com that he was in line to direct the fantasy update. After the drawn-out battle for the rights to re-make the 1982 film, it seems like the production is still having a little trouble finding a director or a star. Although AICN did name Gerard Butler as one of the contenders for the role (I guess he has plenty of experience in a loincloth already). Gens is probably best known as the director for the video game flick Hitman -- which might not be the best calling card if you take the cringe-worthy score of 13% on Rotten Tomatoes as any indication of the man's abilities.

Gens entrance into the Hollywood blockbuster scene probably didn't quite work out as he had hoped. First, there were rumors that there were arguments with the studio over Hitman's rating, and then finally there was talk that Gens had been pulled from the project altogether. There was some PR back-pedaling surrounding the problems with Hitman, but even if the rumors weren't completely true, it could not have helped his reputation. But since Gen's involvement in Conan is still a rumor at this point, fans probably shouldn't get too worried just yet. Let's just wait until we hear something a little more official. Conan the Barbarian is scheduled for release in 2009.

So the last that most of us had heard from action-director John McTiernan was that there was the very real possibility that he was about to be incarcerated for four months -- however pesky little details like prison time have never stopped the rumor mill before; so why start now? Ain't It Cool News reports a rumor that originated on the French film site Mad Movies, that Nu Image has McTiernan at the top of their wish-list of directors for their new spin on the Conan franchise. According to the article (and what I could make out with my high school French), Nu Image wants to entrust their fledgling trilogy to the man behind some of the best (and worst) action films of the last 20 years. With a projected budget of $80 million, it makes sense that Nu Image would want an action vet like McTiernan behind the camera.

Back in June, Christopher reported that New Line had snagged the rights to the franchise from Warner Bros. But as we all know, that was not to last, and by August Millennium Films had secured the rights to revive the franchise. There are still plenty of unanswered questions when it comes to the Conan remake, though it has already been confirmed that the film is going to go with an entirely new approach. So far, the buzz has Gerard Butler (300) in the lead to take over the part, but like so much surrounding the film it's only a rumor at this point. So in the midst of all this speculation, stay tuned to Cinematical for any official updates that come our way.

While everyone was busy fighting over the rights to Conan the Barbarian, another Robert E. Howard property has been quietly chugging along toward production. Variety reports that James Purefoy (Rome) has signed to star in the adaptation of Solomon Kane. The story focuses on a 16th century swordsman who has been cursed because of his bloody past. Kane vows to never fight again, until he is forced out of retirement to battle evil just one more time -- so I guess, in this cast, he really would be "too old for this s**t". The film underwent a personnel change last year when Michael J Basset (Wilderness) was hired to write and direct with no mention of the film's previous producers, Don Murphy and Gregg Hoffman. Kane will now be a joint production between Wandering Star and Davis Films (Brotherhood of The Wolf) and according to Variety, the producers are planning on a trilogy.

When Purefoy's casting was announced, Basset told ComingSoon.net, "Purefoy's ability to embody Kane's complex heroism, struggles and failings as he wages a mortal battle, made him the perfect modern hero in this epic fantasy". Like so many other English actors, Purefoy started his career with The Royal Shakespeare Company, so the man knows his way around a period piece. His face might ring a bell as 'The Black Prince' in 2001's A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger. Purefoy was most recently on HBO's Rome as the famous Marc Anthony, but this summer HBO announced that the show was on its final season. Once Purefoy finishes his commitments for two upcoming TV projects, he will have plenty of time to start work on Kane.

Even though we reported a few months ago that New Line Cinema had acquired the rights to Robert E. Howard's famous sword-fighting Cimmerian Conan the Barbarian, it now appears that news was a bit premature. According to Variety, production/distribution company Millennium Films has finally won the rights to the character after New Line could not close the deal -- even after getting the exclusive right to negotiate for the franchise back in June.

According to the article, rights-holder Paradox Entertainment president and chief executive officer Fredrik Malmberg finally chose Millennium Films after extricating the rights from Warner Brothers last spring -- where the franchise had languished for several years under various directors including The Wachowski Brothers and Robert Rodriguez. With New Line unable to come to final terms this week, Malmberg went with Millennium in a seven-figure deal allowing the company to produce a slate of films based on the character.

Malmberg will produce the new films along with Millennium's Avi Lerner, Boaz Davidson, Joe Gatta and George Furla. The company intends to start production on the first of the films by next spring. Reading this news I have to say I'm a bit concerned. As a huge fan of the original Robert E. Howard books and many of the subsequent print and cinematic versions of Conan -- with the notable exception of Red Sonja -- I worry that the cinematic future of this great character is now in the hands of the people responsible for films like Alien Hunter, The Shepherd and Blonde Ambition.

Although, to be fair, Millennium has also turned out some good films too, including, um, well help me out here . . At least, according to the article, they say they intend to be more faithful to the original source material than the series of films featuring His Honor the Governor of California. I hope they stick to that and the films turn out great because the character and the story deserve it. Although, I have to say I'm not particularly optimistic about the chances of that actually happening.

Despite all the rumors and confirmed reports last year that Warner Bros. was making a new Conan movie, the studio failed to get the project going by its spring 2007 deadline. So, the rights to Robert E. Howard's character were put up for auction. Fortunately for Time Warner, the parent company of Warner Bros., the goods were picked up by its other subsidiary, New Line Cinema. Now, New Line has an 18 month option and one extension, so unless it wants to throw away the money it just spent, the studio will hopefully have something to deliver to theaters in the next few years. Considering Warners couldn't get something off the ground with big-deal talent like the Wachowski Brothers, Robert Rodriguez or Conan the Barbarian director John Milius, it is hard to imagine who, if anybody, could make this happen. Of course, now, thanks to the success of 300, it may be possible that any script featuring swords and loincloths will get a greenlight. Plus, New Line only needs to put the words 'the studio that brought you Lord of the Rings' to get people in seats. The studio could hire the worst filmmakers out there and probably still do alright.

But then the fans might put up a fuss. Still, the fans will likely be disappointed enough if Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't return to the role. And since he's just begun his second term as Governor of California, I don't think he'll be available before New Line's deadline. If you grew up in the '80s, though, your first idea of Conan was probably Schwarzenegger's portrayal, and it may be difficult to imagine another actor taking on the part. Despite the fact that Conan was in novels and comics and elsewhere for decades before Milius' film, accepting a substitute in the next movie would be like accepting another actor as The Terminator, or as Danny DeVito's twin brother. Personally, I think that without Mako, who died last year, there's already no point in trying to associate the new Conan film with the old ones, so I welcome all new faces.

Most fans have made it rather clear that a return to the Conan franchise would not be welcome without the man who made the role, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Largely, this is because it has been indicated that the coming sequel will focus around King Conan - an aged version of the classic hero - which means that an older Arnold fits the role perfectly (despite his continual efforts to stay in shape, fans would have a harder time arguing for the current Arnold to play a 20-year-old Barbarian). And the chances that the governor will return just got stronger, as a recent note from a Warner Brothers executive suggests that the company is interested in bringing back the star for a reprisal of his role - perhaps more than one reprisal, as a matter of fact. The statement closes with the following: "I can also tell you that if Arnold wants to make two more Conan films, we will gladly make that deal happen."

Sounds good to me. It seems like the big question at this point lies with the governor himself. Presuming he finds himself free of political obligation sometime in the near future, the role will apparently be waiting for him. And lets all be honest - while the idea of Arnold as a governor is fun, wouldn't we all much rather see him making a new Conan movie?

The Conan the Barbarian rumor mill has certainly had its share of drama over the past year or so. Established geek culture brothers the Wachowskis were at one point attached to the film as producers/writers for director John Milius (remember those rumors?), but allegedly got outta dodge due to nebulous creative differences with the big M. However, Milius may be gone now, and recent stories report that the folks over at Warner Brothers are interested in bringing the brothers back into the Conan fold - possibly this time as directors. The brothers are avowed comic fans, and are apparently rather familiar with Robert Howard's comic world.

The new flick is still reportedly called King Conan: Crown of Iron, and many fans hope to see King Arnold (governor, whatever) return to his role to complete the trilogy. I'd love to see Arnold as an aging ruler Barbarian...in fact, it's hard to imagine a return to the franchise without the guy. If you've got an idea for an actor out there who could fill the Barbarian shoes, comment away, I'd love to hear.

A bit of interesting news from the world of fantasy literature properties - the rights to characters created by Robert E. Howard, one of the early fathers of the fantasy genre, have been snatched up by Paradox Entertainment. In addition to his most famous character, Conan the Barbarian, Howard's most recognizable characters include the legendary Solomon Kane, the unusual Bran Mak Morn- last king of the Picts, the Atlantean Kull the Conquerer, and the continually popular Red Sonja. Paradox plans on licensing off the properties to other companies interested in using the characters.

Fans have been clamoring for a new Conan flick for ages, but it is apparently still trapped in "development hell," as an IGN article puts it. However, a fancy new Brak Mak Morn picture is in development, and we can of course always hope that new action of the Howard properties may inspire someone to finally get to work on that Solomon Kane flick we've all been wanting to happen. Okay...at least I've been wanting it to happen. I presume that other people out there do as well. Right?

[via IGN]

The Austrian city of Graz has given up trying to negotiate with its once-favorite son. At the Governator's request, they've removed Arnold Schwarzenegger's name from their soccer stadium and promotional web sites. This all started, you'll remember, a couple of weeks back, when a handful of Grazian politicians lambasted the once (and future?) Barbarian for denying clemency for convicted murderer Tookie Williams. Schwarzenegger responded to said criticisms with characteristic grace: "Graz will not have problems in the future with my decisions as governor of California," he said, "Because officially nothing connects us any more." To that, Graz's mayor issued a plea for Schwarzenegger to reconsider: "I hope that very soon we'll hear you say, 'I'll be back"." It didn't happen, and Graz tookthe letters spelling out Arnold's name off the stadium sometime over the weekend. Sad news, to be sure, but hopefully it'll teach all of us to be more judicious with our use of Terminator quotes.