This will no doubt be an illegal movie forever. After seeing it at the UC Theater in the summer of '82, I recently found a copy on a bootleg VHS for $1 at a Friends of the Library sale, still burned with the Sundance Channel bug. In today's cinema, much is made of the nostalgia value of the 1980s soundtrack: a famous example being Tears for Fears' "Head Over Heels" during Donnie Darko's opening. You can have your MTV, though, since URGH! A Music War was the soundtrack to my 1980s. Hey, what a surprise, no Duran Duran, no INXS, no Soft Cell covering a Gloria Jones soul classic and convincing a history-impaired generation that they wrote it. And yet it's clear why this film failed.

As a business scheme URGH seems, in 2008 hindsight, a uniquely quick way to burn a fortune. The film documents second-wave punk and New Wave bands playing from LA to London, editing them together without any particular zeitgeisty event like a music festival. So: play it a little under a real kiss-of-death title, and then wait to be deafened by the wails of bands, managers and lawyers zooming in to fight over the non-existant money. The Police were the headliners, opening and closing the film. They wrap up the film, too; you can see drummer Miles Copeland wearing an URGH! T-shirt. Is this perhaps all he was paid for this film? There are mostly cinematic performances here, and we see how much was lost by the fact that the Industry couldn't figure out a way to use their talents in the movies. Here's a key to the best of the show, omitting slurs of forgotten bands who perished long years ago.

OK, so the music snob in me is not thrilled that someone like David Bowie would appear in a teen romance with a High School Musical star. But, luckily I don't take these things all that seriously and I'm sure I'll get over it. Variety reports that the music legend is currently in talks to star in the musical Will. Todd Graff (Camp) co-wrote the script with Josh Cagan and Graff will also direct.

The coming-of-age story centers on an outcast teen who befriends a like-minded girl who regrettably also runs with the popular crowd. Vanessa Hudgens plays the popular girl Sam, who after struggling with a stutter, has finally made it to the cool table. Liam Aiken will play her socially inept band mate. Remember this is a musical, so the story doesn't stop with the usual 'opposites attract' teen romance. The two then go on to "form an unlikely bond through their shared love of music. They assemble a like-minded crew of misfits and form a rock group to perform in a battle of the bands competition at their school."

The cast also includes Lisa Kudrow (who really does deserve to work more; the woman is hilarious), and Scott Porter (Friday Night Lights). Bowie is still in negotiations, so there is no word on which character he would be playing in the film. Part of me hopes it will just be a cameo, à la Zoolander. Will is set to start shooting in Austin, Texas in February and should hit theaters (with or without Mr. Ziggy Stardust) later this year.

As I pointed out in my Poltergeist review, I didn't watch much horror as a boy. That's probably a good thing, as even the non-horror flicks I enjoyed often scared the bejesus out of me. You kids today don't know how lucky you have it with your wussy Shreks and your lamewad Pikachus! Children of the 1980s are still in therapy over what Hollywood deemed "family films" back then. The following non-horror mind-screws should prove my point.

Return to Oz (1985)

In high school, I brought Return to Oz to a Halloween movie marathon. I hadn't seen it since I was a kid. Everyone scoffed. "A Wizard of Oz sequel? That's supposed to scare us?" I didn't hear a lot of mockery after the movie started. In fact, nobody said a word until about halfway through, when a friend of mine whispered "Can we please turn this off?" I'm not sure who thought this movie was appropriate for children. It gave me nightmares for nearly a decade.

Dorothy finds a key with an Oz symbol on it, shows it to Auntie Em and Uncle Henry as proof that Oz exists, and is sent to an insane asylum! An evil insane asylum where they give our young heroine electro-shock therapy! That's how this "childrens' film" starts! Once Dorothy gets to Oz, it's a speeding night train of horrors. How about that Nome King? Good LORD! Winged monkeys aren't scary enough anymore, let's give the kids The Wheelers -- sadistic shrieking psychopaths with roller skates instead of hands and feet! Kids today won't be satisfied with just a standard wicked witch, let's really ramp that up too, and ruin their lives! The sequence with the witch's cabinets full of human heads easily rivals anything in the Nightmare on Elm Street series for sheer terror. "Dorothy Gaaaaaale!!!!"

Even the heroes are horrifying! Jack Pumpkinhead? A hybrid stick n' pumpkin creature who calls Dorothy "Mother"? That's your good guy? Not cool, Return to Oz. Not cool.

The Neverending Story (1984)

Along the same lines as Return to Oz, The Neverending Story feels way too dark, weird, and just...wrong to be a kids' movie. I feel my eyes welling up now remembering Atreyu's horse slowly sinking into quicksand and dying. I can't even talk about the Gmork, that big wolfy vampire thing. And a storm called "The Nothing?" Sweet fancy Moses! Also, again, the heroes should not be scarier than the villains! The racing snail? The Rockbiter? That bat-dude? And Falkor? A big flying dog/dragon mutation with disgusting scaly eggs on his skin? We were supposed to root for this hellacious beast?

Another scream-inducing aspect -- one of the worst theme songs in all of 80's film. And that's saying a whole lot!

It looks like there could be a turf war brewing in Gotham. In New York Magazine's eyes, it's the battle between "the rich, powerful father and his silky hipster son." You see, on the one hand we've got Robert De Niro's Tribeca Film Festival, which came out of the ashes of September 11 to revitalize Tribeca. On the other, we've got the High Line Festival, which is gearing up for its inaugural year, and is being curated by David Bowie.

While Tribeca upped its prices this year and is considered by some to be the rich folks festival, this new offering is the budget fest which offers cheap tickets, is backed by the price-conscious H&M and will donate part of its proceeds to a green space project. NYM insiders say this is ticking off De Niro: "I hear it's driving Robert De Niro crazy, and that's just great because he's a big old wrinkled thug versus these young guys." (Not Bowie, but the fest's producers, David Binder, 39, and Josh Wood, 33). But here's where I get confused. Tribeca is a film festival that has some other content, like the Goo Goo Dolls who will perform this year. But High Line is a total music fest, and is boasting a line-up of bands like Air and Daniel Johnston

Page Six source says that it's the Slamdance to Sundance, but come on! Is there much cross-over between the two that the new cherub of festivals could edge out the old and established angel? Their scope seems different enough to me, and besides, if Bowie's baby is successful, perhaps Tribeca will re-evaluate its audience and start to chip away at its stodgy reputation.

[via AOL Entertainment]

When I first saw this headline, I immediately felt a tingle creep up my spine and couldn't help but cry out, "Yes! They're remaking Labyrinth! Bowie! Bowie!" However, after reading the story, cringing as Variety ripped out my heart and diced it up sushi-style right in front of my eyes, I realized we're talking a different Labyrinth here. Boo!

Oscar-winner Hilary Swank is set to star in a remake of the 2003 French thriller Labyrinth, with Russell Gewirtz (Inside Man) penning the script. Pic is described as a psychological thriller about a "mental patient with multiple personalities who holds clues to the whereabouts of a serial killer." I've never seen the French film, but based just on that description, it appears to be a mix of Silence of the Lambs and Don't Say A Word, with the latter kind of, well, sucking. I assume Swank will play the mental patient (Ahem, Oscar nom? Anyone?), but what about the serial killer? Do I even need to say it? Bowie! Bowie!

Holy. Crap. It's official: I'm in full freak-out mode about The Prestige. Before, I was just hopeful, and excited about the prospect of a weird, complex, fascinating book being turned into a movie by Christopher Nolan, with a cast made up of folks like Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale and Michael Caine. Now that I've seen the trailer, however, I'm afraid I'm not going to have a moment of peace from my anticipation until the movie opens this fall -- it looks that good.

For those of you who read and loved Christopher Priest's novel, the trailer is a revelation (at least it was for me): I have chill on top of my chills right now, from the simple thrill of seeing the novel brought to life so vividly and effectively. Putting some of the book's diary musings into Cutter's (Caine's) mouth seems to work surprisingly well, and Jackman and Bale look fantastic. Plus: Bowie! Tesla's light bulbs! And was that Ricky Jay?! I mean, seriously. This could only be better if it came with chocolate cake.

The Prestige opens October 27.

[via AICN]

I don't think I could ever articulate what it is about Labyrinth that's so wonderful, but it's safe to say that I honestly have never met anyone who saw it and didn't love it. (Those of you who think puppets are stupid need to stay away.) The songs are outrageously catchy (I've had Dance, Magic, Dance in my head since I first read this story Friday morning, dammit), the characters -- human and otherwise -- are uniformly winning and it's got both David Bowie AND Jennifer Connelly (before she got her boobs, boys) -- what's not to love? While most of us have to make do with watching it on our televisions, those of you in LA have a special treat heading your way: On July 20 at 8pm, the movie will be screened at the Samuel Goldwyn Theater in Beverly Hills. But wait, there's more! In addition to seeing the magic on the big screen, you'll also get to witness a "post-screening conversation featuring the creative team behind Labyrinth, including [Brian] Henson, who is the voice of Hoggle and co-CEO of the Jim Henson Company." Sigh. Well, at the very least someone who gets to go better send us a report about how great it is. Please?

In addition to his directing career, Luc Besson has made a bit of a name for himself as a writer of children's books. His four-volume series about Arthur and the Minimoys has been a big hit in his native France, and Besson has been working for years on a movie about the characters. Though very few details had been available until recently, new information about the film has been showing up every 10 minutes over the past couple of days.

The film, which is a mix of animation and live-action, will feature the voices of Madonna, David Bowie, and Snoop Dogg (already, I'm hooked), as well as the real-life acting talents of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory's Freddie Highmore as Arthur and Mia Farrow, who will play his grandmother. The fantasy plot is a little confusing in summary, but essentially, Arthur's grandparents' house is being threatened by developers, and he decides the only way to save it is to track down his grandfather's mysterious treasure, which he's been told is "hidden somewhere on the 'other side' in the land of the Minimoys" (who are a single centimeter tall, by the way). Arthur somehow reaches the other side, and madcap adventures no doubt ensue.

Besson hopes to have his film ready to premiere at Cannes in May; it has been acquired for American distribution by The Weinstein Company, and will open in here on Christmas.

[via JoBlo]