Hey, it has been a while since we last discussed the whole Wonder Woman casting thing, hasn't it? I'm sorry I've neglected you, dear Wonder Woman news hounds (yes, all five of you). But hey, I'm here to make it up to you now with a real doozy. Today's hot rumor comes to us straight out of Bollywood, from one of India's own comic book actresses. A scooper over at sliceofscifi reports the Whedon camp has expressed some serious interest in actress Priyanka Chopra, most recently of Krrish fame. Apparently, Miss Chopra is popularity incarnate in Bollywood right now, and Whedon thinks her charm might play just as well in the West. This does some pretty serious damage to browncoat hopefuls who have been pulling for Morena Baccarin, as Baccarin was leading the popular rumor races of late. Some thoughts suggest Baccarin's newly accepted regular guest role on TV's Stargate might have resulted in conflicting schedules, but I have trouble believing she'd opt for a few TV guest spots over a major motion picture. If she's out, it's most likely because the Powers That Be have rejected her for some reason. Or possibly even Joss himself ...

This continues to be a very, very strange association in my mind. Jack Black is a funny man, and I actually enjoy him as an actor. The Green Lantern is a great super hero, and there's a giant poster of golden age Green Lantern gracing the wall of my study. So to sum of these brief thoughts: I like Jack Black. I like the Green Lantern. So why am I so afraid of the two of them joined together? The best explanation I can think of is another example. I love dill pickles. I also love death by chocolate ice cream. Under no circumstances would I ever want my dbc served with dill pickle topping. Two delightful experiences, but delightful for separate reasons which do not easily overlap.

And yet, Jack Black persists in being interested in a Green Lantern movie project. He was recently giving a radio interview, and mentioned that he'd still like to earn the project a green light (green light for Green Lantern, oh I'm SO clever I should write headlines for the NY Times). According to Superhero Hype, Black is still trying to get a developed script and apparently still has at least some interest maintained over at Warner Brothers. My hope for seeing a GL movie is confused and tainted by my fear of Jack Black being involved. What to do, what to do?

I've taken six tries so far at writing a scathing and witty introductory sentence to this post, but it seriously leaves me flabbergasted. Every clever and biting turn of phrase I invent seems too insufficient to hold all the pain, irony and sarcasm the following news deserves. I could probably write an entire opening chapter and not cover all the jokes that ache to be made here, but frankly, the simple statement itself is enough to convey all the above ideas and emotions I've described:

Halle Berry is entirely willing to make a sequel to Catwoman.

I swear to you I am not making this up. Yes, Halle Berry, who railed against her writers, producers, agents ... really anyone she could find to blame for the critically (and non-critically) lambasted farce that was Catwoman the movie. In fact, at one point Berry avowed she would never return to the franchise... but of course this was after she'd sworn off superhero flicks for fear of being typecast only to months later accept the fated lead role in Catwoman. In a round table discussion in New York, Berry made the following statement: "If they seriously said, 'We want to do another one and here's how we're going to make it better because we learned from the mistakes,' I would because I believe we could make it better."

Seriously Halle, you could dress up an actual black cat in a cape and boots and film it running around in the grass chasing field mice and it would be a better Catwoman film than the one you created. Do yourself and comic book fans everywhere a favor and stay far, far away from any suggestions of a return to the franchise. Please.