Quick, what do H. B. Halicki and Louis B. Mayer have in common? They both went "from junk cars to movie stars" as the poster for The Junkman put it; both were scrap merchants who got into the film business. Wrecking shop owner turned auteur Halicki's homebrewed hit Gone in 60 Seconds led the 1999 remake by Dominic Sena, who reputedly worked on the original The Junkman as a camera man. The Junkman, the follow-up to the original 1974 Gone in 60 Seconds, is an even more extravagant car-cruncher. It's a film that makes Tarantino's great car chase in Death Proof look like an also-ran. (QT refers to this original by having Kurt Russell's character keep a row of sunglasses on his dashboard, just like Halicki did.) The Junkman is an all-out demolition derby with Hoyt Axton providing the vocals, a co-starring role by a pet pig named Farah and a finale with the Goodyear Blimp buzzing the Cinerama Dome. As the price of a gallon of gas reaches the inevitable $5 mark, let us return to this uniquely decadent actioner.

Quentin Tarantino's been talking up his WWII drama Inglorious Bastards for God knows how long. Last we heard he was buried in the script, with nothing concrete planned in the immediate future. Now, in a Cannes interview (via JoBlo), Tarantino has pronounced that he's finished a draft of the script (that was fast) and "if all goes well, I will be here, in Cannes, in 2009 with Inglorious Bastards."

Now, the only director I know who could take a largely uncast World War II movie from first draft to Cannes-ready cut in the span of 12 months is Steven Soderbergh, and he's busy figuring out what to do with Che. His prediction that he'll have Inglorious Bastards in next year's Cannes was, it seems to me, either hubris, excitement-of-the-moment hyperbole, or a straight-up lie. Still, the fact that he seems to be committed to doing this project -- or any project -- next is exciting in itself. I watched the standalone cut of Death Proof for the first time last week, and it's an astonishing piece of filmmaking. I think his work this century -- particularly Death Proof and Kill Bill Vol. 2 -- has been even more exciting than his legendary 90s stuff.

Inglorious Bastards will be about a group of Allied soldiers who volunteer for a suicide mission as a reprieve from execution for various misdeeds. Tarantino took the title from this 1978 Enzo Castellari film, though he doesn't intend it as a remake.

I loved Grindhouse. Well, I loved Planet Terror, loved the ads, and liked Death Proof. But I loved, loved, loved the Machete trailer. Being a huge fan of Danny Trejo, Machete gave me just what I wanted -- a silly movie focused on someone I love watching. Of course, after Grindhouse came out, there were tons of rumors about Machete getting his own feature film. Some believed it. Some didn't. I just hoped.

The other day, The Movie Blog threw up the poster to the right, which you can see on their site in all of its full-sized glory. Is this really an official poster for Machete? Is it really on its way? Was a script completed before the strike? I would hope that "yes," is the answer to all of those, but I'm trying to reign in my excitement for now.

In the meantime, we can fangirl and fanboy away. What do you think of the poster? Me, I like it, but it would lose a lot of its charm if its grainy artwork was shown on a shiny, slick new poster. My thought: keep it as-is, but send it to all theaters folded where the folds are, and printed without gloss. That would be sweet, but not as sweet as the decent man who was living a decent life, but now he is a brutal savage who must slaughter to stay alive!

Once again, Film Threat has released its annual list of the Coldest People in Hollywood -- the ones whose careers are in the most trouble according to them. Strangely, the actress I would have thought was the natural contender for #1, Nicole Kidman, only makes #6. Of course, if The Golden Compass is a huge hit, it'll reverse a string of box-office misfortunes. Film Threat's advise is for Kidman to seek a job on George Miller's projected Mad Max 4. Hilary Swank, star of a robust contender for worst of '07, is advised to choose her work with more care ("She may have grown up eating sawdust in Gooberville, Washington, or wherever, but it's no longer necessary to accept every script that comes her way"). And there's no arguments here with choices Eli Roth (#8), scandal plagued actress Vanessa Hudgens (above), and Jennifer Lopez ("there doesn't seem to be any measure that can stop her from making more bad movies."). Certainly, Natalie Portman (#41) deserves a remembrance for her dual role in Goya's Ghosts, not even mentioned in the citation.

Naturally, this list offers more bones to pick than a washtub-sized bucket of KFC. Jessicas Alba and Biel share #12 (hey, Jessica Biel can act, you ruffians!); Eddie Murphy (#16) who is still quite A-list, is derided for Norbit, a popular hit that had a few defenders. Quentin Tarantino (#22) is hardly out of the game, despite the mixed feelings people had about Death Proof, and Ray Liotta (#29) has a wicked cameo in a Top Five movie right now. Lindsay Lohan charts at #51 on a list of 50. Guys, where was Eddie Izzard on this list: Across the Universe and Romance and Cigarettes within months of each other! Film Threat's number 1 pick isn't even an actor, though I doubt if anyone feels like returning his phone calls right now. In the meantime, bad-film fans can wait breathlessly for the Golden Raspberry awards coming up later this year.

Dark Horizons has spotlighted an interview with Quentin Tarantino that will have geeks everywhere bemoaning what might have been. Tarantino has turned down an offer to direct an episode of the hit NBC drama Heroes. His reason? He doesn't know what Heroes is. QT told The Sun, "They were trying to get me to do one. I haven't even seen the f***ing show. What the f*** is Heroes?" Well Quentin, if you're reading this, you ain't missing much. Heroes is probably the most overrated show on television right now. Somehow, it has captured the love of critics and audiences alike, but I watched the entire first season and found it punishingly dull. I know, I know, chew me out. I just don't get it.

Film directors dabbling in television has become quite the trend lately. The great Spike Lee directed the pilot of Shark. Kevin Smith directed the pilot for the soon-to-premiere (and very good) Reaper, and will write and direct an episode of the Heroes spinoff Origins. Tarantino is no stranger to television either, having shot episodes of both CSI and ER (maybe that's why he wasn't interested in Heroes -- he only does shows with initials for titles). I was about thirteen when Pulp Fiction was in theaters, and though I begged my parents, they wouldn't let me see it. I remember sitting down to watch the QT-directed ER (still the only episode of that show I've seen), trying to convince myself that it would be just as cool. Not quite. If you want your Heroes fix, the second season premieres Monday. If you want your Tarantino fix, the expanded version of Death Proof is in stores today.

Last week's big winner at the box office was Rob Zombie's Halloween, so horror flicks are definitely on my mind. It's Scary Stuff week on Trailer Park.

Hatchet
While this is definitely an old school style horror flick, it's not a remake. In fact the poster proudly proclaims "It's not a remake. It's not a sequel. And it's definitely not based on a Japanese one." If it weren't for the modern production values, you could imagine this one playing drive-in theaters back in the early 80's. A child narrates, telling the story of Victor Crowley, a deformed boy who died in a fire set by a nasty bunch of kids. Now people are disappearing in the local woods, and it looks like Victor is the one doing them in. Kane Hodder, who wore the iconic goalie mask in three of the Friday the 13th films, stars as Victor Crowley, and horror vets Robert Englund and Tony Todd are in there too, as is Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Mercedes McNab. Looks like a decent modern take on the classic slasher formula, with an eye toward casting that will keep horror buffs happy. The movie opens today but only in 78 theaters, so if this movie does manage to find an audience it will be on DVD. Additionally, you can check out Scott's interview with Hatchet director Adam Green.

Saw IV
Like the trailer says, "If it's Halloween, it must be Saw." The franchise rears its gore-spattered head every Halloween with a new installment, with each film raking in some serious cash, so don't expect the trend to end anytime soon. Are there really four of these things now? The teaser trailer shows some brief snippets of the film being projected on what looks like a grimy warehouse wall, with shrieks of agony and people begging for mercy in the background. More of the same, so if you liked the previous installments you'll probably enjoy this one. Have a look for yourself:

From the lurking corners of the internet, sometimes called LiveJournal, comes a sneak peek at the DVD cover art for the Grindhouse separately released films Planet Terror and Death Proof. Based on these pictures, it looks like they'll be housed inside of collectible tins, with a regular snapper case underneath. But, as always with things on the web that don't come straight from the source, take it with a grain of salt.

You can read all about the special features that will be included after the break, but I'm most excited about Vanessa Ferlito's restored lapdance scene in Death Proof. Hopefully that'll be worth the price of admission alone. Rodriguez' Planet Terror will include mainstays from his DVD releases, including the 10 minute film school and cooking school entries, as well as a feature-length commentary track.

Thankfully, Death Proof will have a built-in special feature on your remote called the "fast-forward" button that will let you skip through all of those interminably long talking scenes. The shots of these DVDs look like they might have been taken at Comic-Con, where they had a real amputee dressed up like Cherry Darling. I didn't get close enough to check, due to the throngs of fanboys taking her pictures while she gyrated on a pole.

First, there was the growing, incessant Grindhouse buzz. Then, the film came out and the numbers weren't all that the Brothers Weinstein and the filmmakers were hoping for. How should they fix the dilemma? First, the idea was batted around to re-release each feature stateside, and hope for better numbers. That was abandoned, but then Cannes got a partial serving of Grindhouse -- Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof on its festival platter. James Rocchi said it was the same feature, with lots of added "jibber jabber." (Could the film really hold any more?!) The Terror end of things slipped into the shadows. Now with the theater experience all said and done, attention has turned towards the DVD release, and plans are still annoyingly split.

Bloody-Disgusting has posted that Death Proof is getting released on September 18, with absolutely no word about Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror. Assuming that the failure of the film is its length, why cut it on DVD? There's these great features called pause and stop, and these days, you can even turn your player off and have it start up where you left off just by hitting the "on" switch. What fan will want to buy two separate DVDs (and which disc would get the trailers?!), and have to switch discs just to try and recreate the experience? Yeah, there's the whole money angle, but I bet that the people itching to add Grindhouse to their collections aren't going to want them separated.

Besides, why in the world did Planet Terror fade away so easily? It was a wonderful, ridiculously fun homage -- one that Nick Schager called the victor of the two films -- and it's getting treated like chopped liver. Most of the people I talked with and reviews I read seemed to agree that it was the more enjoyable of the two, so what's the deal? It's annoying to have them split on DVD, but it's even worse to have the machine-gun-legged, bloody, maniacally wonderful serving wiped off the plate.

Of all the guilty pleasures at Cannes this year -- and there were guilty pleasures at Cannes this year, for all of the art and drama -- surely the most tempting had to be the extended cut of Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Originally part of the vast and sprawling Grindhouse experiment, now QT's car-crashin', smack-talkin' carnival of mayhem was going to show on its own. Which, to be honest, it always kinda did; Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, for all it's sins, nonetheless felt like a '70s trash-gasm; Death Proof, with all the yakkety-yak and funny bits, felt too modern. If I were smarter, I'd say something like I wanted to see Death Proof liberated from the cage of the Grindhouse conceit; really, though, I just wanted a nice snack of all-American cheese in-between the thoughtful, contemplative dramas; a little re-tox, if you will.

And Death Proof does have all the nutrition of a narcotic compound -- and making it bigger didn't mean making it any classier. Death Proof is a misshapen hybrid of early DePalma and '70s car-counterculture epics as a woman-watching killer who executes with his sweet-ass ride plays cat-and-mouse at full throttle. One set of sexy, leggy mice gets killed in what may be the best-shot high-speed car-wreck mass-murder sequence of all time -- a singular, if grisly honor. The next time our high-octane homicide artist goes after a car full of girls, though, the new set of mice are a bit better prepared ...

The Brothers Weinstein had a pretty big flop with Grindhouse. Many griped about its length. Me, I loved the film, and it was one of the quickest three hours I've sat through. At least, the first half was. I would have loved 3 hours of Planet Terror alone. As for Death Proof, it had a lot of great bits, but did make me a little antsy during some of the long conversations (this is coming from someone who loves long movie conversations). Now Robert Rodriguez's bit is kind of falling by the wayside at the moment, and Quentin Tarantino's installation has been beefed up and screened in Cannes -- In Competition, no less.

This new, beefier, 113-minute version includes two big additions -- one in each half. If you anxiously followed the buzz, interviews and trailers before its release, you probably know what scenes they are. The first is the sexy lap dance that Butterfly (Vanessa Ferlito) gives Kurt Russell's Stuntman Mike after he quotes the poem that Jungle Julia said on-air. The second is a convenience store scene with Mike and his second band of would-be victims. How have these additions worked? According to The Hollywood Reporter, the lap dance is worth the wait, the long conversations inspired a number of young guys to leave and the end brought rounds of both boos and applause. Not stellar and not terrible. I'd go out on a limb and say that it'll still appeal to those who loved it all together, and still not appeal to those who didn't. Me, I just wish Tarantino would slip that "missing reel" bit over to the part where the girls leave their innocent friend as collateral for the Dodge, insinuating to the owner that the cheerleader will have sex with him. It's just unnecessary.