Get ready for some indie romance!

Variety reports that Dylan McDermott and Scott Caan have signed on to star in a new romantic, independent film called Mercy. But Caan isn't just starring -- this is a story he wrote, and is also producing through a new company formed by himself and the film's director, Patrick Hoelck.

Also starring the likes of Alexie Gilmore, Erika Christensen, Troy Garity, and John Boyd, Mercy focuses on a young and cynical novelist. For some reason, this cynic writes about love, although he doesn't believe in it himself. But this is a story brimming with romance, so of course, he then falls in love for the first time and starts believing. Sappy, eh?

There's really not a lot to go on yet, but so far, I'm not impressed. But thinking of McDermott lead me to think about Campbell Scott and Chris Eigemann. Now, if the film was focused on an older novelist, played by one of them, I'd be all over this.

Anyhow, we should find out soon enough whether the film is too sappy, or nicely balanced. The film begins production Monday in Los Angeles.

... and they say to the bartender, "Bet you never expected the three of us would team up on a film?" The bartender takes a good look at the three, goes back to cleaning a glass and replies, "Nah, I kinda expected it." Then Dylan McDermott, Brian Presley and Charles Winkler (son of Irwin Winkler) walk into the bar, and go, "Now what if we told you the three of us were involved too -- with Charles directing! And it's called Streets of Blood!" The bartender, tending to his glass, simply replies, "Nah, expected it." Fed up, Charles Winkler throws down his fist and shouts, "And it's gonna be a damn good film too!" Bartender drops his glass in a fit of laughter, looks up and cries, "Now THAT'S something I did not expect!" Everyone laughs and Erik will never become a comedian. The end.

Variety tells us the film centers on two cops dealing with "the lawlessness of New Orleans in the post-Katrina environment." Production begins next month. Another post-Katrina story, huh? Is it just me or is Hollywood really milking Hurricane Katrina? Perhaps I see more of it because I attend a lot of film festivals, and currently there are tons of Katrina docs and narratives on the fest circuit. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you, it just seems like a lot and we're getting close to overkill. This one, however, does sound like it has promise. Plus I've always wanted to see Kilmer, 50 Cent and Stone together in one film. Why not, right?

Today we read from the Horror Movie Bible, chapter 13, verse 666: "When there are no Asian horror movies left to remake, Asian filmmakers will alight to Hollywood and create Americanized versions of The Ring, The Grudge and Dark Water and lo the PG-13 rating will be applied -- and it will be not good." But since The Messengers was written by a really cool horror geek named Mark Wheaton, I walked into an opening day matinee screening of the flick with some high hopes. Despite everything the TV spots, the trailers and the pre-release buzz had been telling me, I was actively intent on trying to enjoy The Messengers. Sorry to say that my pilot light of enthusiasm was snuffed out after less than twelve minutes of on-screen activity. This is a stunningly inert, painfully derivative, shamelessly cheap and aggressively dull ghost story that delivers nothing you haven't seen before. About 43 times.

Clocking in at a scant 84 minutes (and that's including a tiresome prologue and a lengthy opening credits sequence), The Messengers is The Grudge on a farm (The Grarm!) -- and it's about as thrilling as that description implies. It's about a family of four (Mom, Dad, Teenage Daughter, Mute Boy Toddler) who bail on Chicago in favor of Nowheresville, North Dakota. (Dad's got a bee in his bonnet about becoming a sunflower farmer, darnit, and nothing's gonna get in the way of that dream!) While Mom, Dad and Mute Toddler go about settling into their new home, teenage daughter has a problem; basically, she sees shadows, visions, apparitions, etc. -- and of course nobody believes her. (There's a ridiculously prolonged backstory about why Mom and Dad don't completely trust Teenage Daughter, but it's much too silly to get into at this point.)

What do you do when there are no more Asian horror flicks left to rip off remake? Well, you hire some of the finest Asian filmmakers, fly 'em over here, and hire them to churn out American horror movies, of course! After having Takashi Shimizu remake his own The Grudge for American audiences (and to much profit, of course), Sony tapped the vaunted Pang Brothers (The Eye) to helm something kinda similar to the most popular Asian horrorshows ... but not really. This explains why this new trailer for The Messengers looks a whole lot like just another haunted house piece, only with pale phantom limbs where they shouldn't be and those creepy twisted bodies that twitch around in icky fashion. (Call it The Amityville Horror meets The Grudge, as if there's much difference in the first place.)

Written by Mark Wheaton (Firestorm: Last Stand at Yellowstone) from a story by Todd Farmer (Jason X), The Messengers seems to be about a teenage girl who sees spooky spirits after her family moves into a dusty old house. Imagine that.

If there's a saving grace here (aside from it being a horror movie and therefore something I must see eventually) it could be the cast: Kristen Stewart, Penelope Ann Miller, Dylan McDermott and John Corbett can usually contribute enough for a half-decent 90-some minutes. Either way, you can expect a PG-13 all the way from The Messengers, as it hails from Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures, the diet-horror production shingle that gave you Boogeyman and The Grudge 2. Let's just hope the movie's a lot better than the trailer. The Messengers opens on February 9.