The director of The Hills Have Eyes II is teaming up with the star of the Prom Night remake for what should logically add up to the worst horror film ever made. Variety reports that Brittany Snow has been cast as the lead in the video game adaptation Clock Tower, to be directed by Martin Weisz. Again playing a teenager, despite the fact that she looks 40 (she's really 22), Snow will apparently fill the role of Jennifer Simpson, a 15-year-old girl Variety describes as "a troubled psychiatric patient who witnessed her parents die and is constantly plagued by religious imagery."

That sounds a lot less frightening than the actual game, but either the trade received a watered-down synopsis or Clock Tower will indeed be a disappointment to gamers. I've never played any of the Clock Tower games myself, but from what I've gathered from fan feedback, they're actually pretty scary. They center on a serial killer called the Scissorman, who stalks the player, who must survive by figuring out clues (feel free to correct me or elaborate if you've played).

The other day, a blog entry from the cinetrix about "The Rule" evoked a flood of memories from my love-movies-hate-the-patriarchy college days. In 1989, my then-roommate's then-girlfriend showed me a comic strip from the series Dykes to Watch Out For by Alison Bechdel. The strip was called "The Rule" and it was about a character who explained that she only went to movies that met three criteria:

1. Two of the characters had to be women --
2. Who talked with each other --
3. About something other than a man.

Read the original strip for yourself. At the time, "The Rule" had a big impact on my life -- it explained a lot about what I found lacking in movies. I wanted to watch strong action heroines, but I also wanted to see movies with women who talked about ordinary stuff that didn't involve boyfriends or husbands.

As pleasantly surprised as I was by last summer's musical remake of Hairspray, I can't say that the prospect of sequel potential ever once came to mind. Thankfully, that's why we have Hollywood bean counters and the like, who see the success of that film, Mamma Mia! and High School Musical (including a fair amount of CD and DVD sales for each) as reason enough to have John Waters -- who wrote the 1988 original -- whip up a treatment for a Hairspray sequel.

According to Variety, returning for the project is director Adam Shankman and ... um, no one else at the moment. There isn't a writer attached, nor are any of the original stars lined up to return, although I have little reason to think that most of the young cast wouldn't be down for another one (just what is Nikki Blonsky up to now, anyway?).

Warner Bros. hopes to have Hairspray 2 (Hairspray-ier?) in theaters by July of 2010.

The movie-turned-musical fad isn't just for rock-themed movies and cute romantic comedies anymore. Recently, I blogged about the Weinstein Co.'s plans to adapt Oscar fare like Shakespeare in Love and Chocolat for Broadway. Now, Variety reports of another Oscar nominee that's headed for the stage: Daens. Never heard of it? Maybe that's because it was up for the Best Foreign Film Academy Award 15 years ago and yet despite that honor, it doesn't seem to have ever played in U.S. theaters. The Belgian period drama won't be competing against other movie-turned-musical hits like Legally Blonde and Hairspracy, though -- at least not yet. Instead the production opens outside Antwerp this October.

Here's why it could successfully make it's way across the Atlantic: Variety compares the scenario of Daens, about a priest attempting to improve conditions in the textile industry in the 19th century, to Les Miserables, which has been an enormous hit on Broadway (as well as in London). Also, though the musical will be bilingual, with some characters speaking Flemish and others speaking French, there will be subtitles, which could also be used if a Broadway version wanted to retain the original languages. Of course, I don't know that the same tourists currently making Legally Blonde a success will want to flock to a musical they have to read. And it might make singing along a little awkward, too.

Last weekend, Baltimore hosted Honfest. "Hon," short for "honey," refers to those women, often seen in the world of John Waters and '60s kitsch, who sport audacious pieces of style like beehive hairdos, spandex, cat's-eye glasses, bright-blue eyeshadow, leopard print, and pearls. But, like many small niches that start out as celebrations of alternative culture, the festival has become a huge deal where non-hons don their best impressions of retro kitsch-wear.

As the Baltimore Sun notes, not everyone is digging the increasing popularity -- especially John Waters, who says he's leaving the world of hon behind: "To me, it's used up," Waters said of the Hon. "It's condescending now. The people that celebrate it are not from it. I feel that in some weird way they're looking slightly down on it. I only celebrate something I can look up to."

Funny, that's just what I would say about the new Hairspray. It was popular and successful, and I love some of the people involved (Christopher Walken, Michelle Pfieffer, Allison Janney), but the re-do was like Hollywood Halloween -- people trying out "weirdness" for kicks.

Methinks it's time for Waters to reclaim the wonders of transgressive art!

So after what's felt like a gazillion years, I finally managed to catch Jersey Boys on Broadway last night ... and all I could think about the entire time was why this hasn't been turned into a movie yet. (But in a good way.) In the past few years, we've had Chicago, Rent, Hairspray and The Producers, with Mamma Mia and Nine on the horizon. Where's Jersey Boys? The damn show gets a standing ovation every night, not to mention it's got a great story, great characters and, well, fantastic music. It'd be like Goodfellas: The Musical -- and something like that would probably rake in more cash (from both men and women) than most of these movie-musicals to date.

I haven't had this much fun watching a musical in years; probably since Wicked (which is another one that needs to hit the big screen at some point). But when I sat there, picturing how they could adapt each scene and make it really work on the big screen, one annoying issue kept beating me over the head: Who in the world do you cast? Since Hollywood is all about sticking names in these sorts of roles, you'd need four young guys who not only can sing (Valli gets UP there), but also come with thick Jersey accents. Off the top of my head, I don't know of any young, Hollywood stars who fit the bill. MAYBE Zac Efron, but he might be a tad too young ... and I've never seen him do a tough, Jersey accent (honestly, I don't know if I want to ...)

Best Supporting Actor

Nominees:

Casey Affleck -- The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

Javier Bardem -- No Country for Old Men

Philip Seymour Hoffman -- Charlie Wilson's War

John Travolta -- Hairspray

Tom Wilkinson -- Michael Clayton

Predicted Winner: Javier Bardem

Once in awhile there comes to cinema a character, and a performance that goes with it, that goes on to haunt us for years. Such a timeless villain is played in No Country for Old Men by Javier Bardem. It's the actor's third Golden Globe nomination and will be his first win. How do I know? Here at Cinematical headquarters we were going to toss a coin to find out if Bardem would get the statue. But then we realized that this award isn't about chance (plus we were afraid of getting an air blast to the skull if it came up that he'd lose). Bardem will win because he deserves the award, because his is the most well-developed and most memorable performance of the bunch.

Now it's your turn to vote ...

Best Actress (Musical or Comedy)

Nominees:

Amy Adams -- Enchanted

Nikki Blonsky -- Hairspray

Helena Bonham Carter -- Sweeney Todd

Marion Cotillard -- La vie en Rose

Ellen Page -- Juno

Predicted Winner: Ellen Page -- Juno

Although screenwriter Diablo Cody is clearly the "breakout" star of the Juno story, I'm sure she'd admit that without Ellen Page, the movie wouldn't be quite so special. Movie fans first took note of the diminutive gal's talents in the chilling Hard Candy, and the blockbuster fanboys fell for her hard in X-Men: The Last Stand -- but it's pretty safe to say that Juno is her "star-making" role -- and it couldn't happen to a cooler girl. We predict a Globe win, an Oscar nomination, and ... well, let's not jinx the woman!

Now it's your turn to vote ...

Best Picture (Musical or Comedy)

Nominees:

Across the Universe

Charlie Wilson's War

Hairspray

Juno

Sweeney Todd

Predicted Winner: Juno

From its surprisingly well-received sneak preview at Telluride to its box-office blowout, Ellen Page's spot-on performance as Juno, the smart, cynical teenager who gets pregnant after having sex with her best friend, struck a chord across demographics. Juno might get shut out of a Best Picture Oscar (don't count it out completely, yet, though -- it's still sitting pretty high on the roundup of critics' polls over on Movie City News); the Globes are still the film's best chance to pick up some awards' season gold.

Now it's your turn to vote ...

When it comes to lists, Cinematical likes to keep things brief. Some of you think the alliterative Cinematical Seven is a bit too small when it comes to movie lists. I can't count the times I've been asked to up my list to 10 to add a few here or there, which is why I try to refrain from titling them with words like "best." There is always something missing. However, I imagine it would be harder to miss something if you upped the count to 50, and make it a list spanning only one year. Yes, this is what Moviefone has done. Out of the few hundred movies that were released this year, they've come up with their Top 50 of 2007.

Starting off the list is Transformers, which our own Erik Davis described as "one of the biggest, baddest action flicks we've seen in a long time." From there, well, you can guess most of the films that made the list -- they're the big blockbusters that people flocked to, like 300, and the art flicks smaller groups raved about, like Lars and the Real Girl. Of course, I don't know if I'd keep all of the contenders in this best-of list (Hairspray); however, we're not talking about a list of 10, so not every film can be wondrous. The list is mainly North American offerings, although you will spot a few of the international biggies like The Lives of Others and Lust, Caution.

Check out the list and weigh in: did they get it right? Are there some glaring omissions? Travesties that shouldn't be on any list with the word "best" in it?