She might be headed back to high school, but Hilary Duff is certainly not headed back to high school men. The Hollywood Reporter posts that the actress has joined the ranks of Stay Cool -- one of those Polish brothers projects that Eugene discussed back in May.

By signing on to the feature, she's joining the strange yet irresistible cast which already includes Winona Ryder, Mark Polish, Sean Astin, Chevy Chase, and Jon Cryer. It's an '80s explosion across the board! I'm sold just on the combination of Ryder, Astin, Chase, and Cryer.

Anyhow, the film is being described as a "knowing-your-age comedy," which focuses on a successful author played by Polish. He returns home to give a commencement speech at his old high school, and has to confront his unrequited high school crush (Ryder). But while he's remembering past lust, he becomes the object of Duff's affections. She will play "Shasta O'Neil, a sexy high school senior who flirts with the visiting author and invites him to the prom."

The film will shoot in Santa Clarita, California next month.

"You know what, Ted?"

"What, Frank?"

"There's been a whole bunch of them sequels lately - we got that Hulk and another Narnia, heck, even another Indiana Jones movie..."

"Yep."

"...and you know what I've been waiting for another one of?"

"What's that, Frank?"

"A Cinderella Story."

"Huh?"

Cinematical was just handed this exclusive poster for the film War, Inc. (click on the image to enlarge), starring John Cusack, Hilary Duff, Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack, Dan Aykroyd and Ben Kingsley. Now is that one helluva cast, or is that one helluva cast? Word has it this one is in the vein of Grosse Point Blank, which was another fun little flick starring the male Cusack. From the synopsis: "War, Inc. is a a political satire set in Turaqistan, a country occupied by an American private corporation run by a former US Vice-President (Dan Akroyd). In an effort to monopolize the opportunities the war-torn nation offers, the corporation's CEO hires a troubled hit man, played by John Cusack, to kill a Middle East oil minister. Now, struggling with his own growing demons, the assassin must pose as the corporation's Trade Show Producer in order to pull off this latest hit, while maintaining his cover by organizing the high-profile wedding of Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) an outrageous Middle Eastern pop star, and keeping a sexy left wing reporter (Marisa Tomei) in check."

War, Inc. arrives in theaters (in limited release) on May 23.

At first, I mistakenly thought that War, Inc. was a re-named version of Talking to Dog, that Children of Men rip-off I wrote about last year. (It's actually a re-named version of Brand Hauser: Stuff Happens.) War stars John Cusack and Hilary Duff, just like the other one was supposed to. Now Talking to Dog seems to have fallen off the face of the earth, so did the movie studios consider the rip-off angle and go in a new direction? Or did Hilary just follow John to this new endeavor? Or, did my attempts at weird mental mojo* work and make that other project die for good?

Whatever the case, Hilary and John are starring in War, Inc. with sister Joan, Marisa Tomei, and Ben Kingsley, and Rope of Silicon has your first look at the action, and John Cusack's furrowed brow (which you can see a bit of to the upper right). This should be tons better than the other option for a number of reasons, but mainly because the unique, surreal voice of Mark Leyner wrote this puppy. (He's written great novels like The Tetherballs of Bougainville and Et Tu, Babe?)

The film once again puts John in the assassin role, and this time he's contracted to kill an oil minister from the Middle East (Ben Kingsley). Instead of high school reunions, however, his cover is "producing a big trade show that includes a wedding between a local pop star and a politico, but complications ensue." The pics don't show too much, but it is strange to see Hilary Duff looking like a cross between a pop star and tough-ass scorpion tamer in one of them. The film is set for a limited release this May.

*I was so against this project, that I figured if I can make new DVDs pop up by buying the old VHS or bare-bones disc version, or off-handedly talk about celebrity deaths right before they happen, maybe I could will Dog into cinematic death.

Once he's finished playing John McClane for a fourth time, Bruce Willis will be going back to school ... as a high school principal, that is. The Los Angeles Times tells us that Willis has signed on to play a supporting role in Assassination of a High School President, based off a script from newbie scribes (and former South Park assistants) Tim Calpin and Kevin Jakubowski. Pic, which the Times describes as "a riff on JFK, All the President's Men and Robert Towne's neo-noir classic [Chinatown]," apparently revolves around a bullied high school journalist who's investigating the theft of the school's SAT exams.

Of course, this SAT controversy will most certainly lead to conspiracy theories and, I imagine, the assassination of the school's class President. Says Jakubowski, "Everything mattered so much when you were in high school - that's your world. And something that would happen to a student council president is as big as if the actual president was assassinated." Willis will play a Desert Storm veteran-turned-Catholic school principal -- the kind of guy who refers to his students as "filth." Picture the first half of Full Metal Jacket set in a high school, and you get the idea. Though it was one of the "most-liked screenplays late last year," the plot obviously delves into some sensitive territory, what with the recent Virginia Tech tragedy.

Right now, there's no word on whether the two writers will have to alter their script because of the shooting that took place on that campus (God knows rushing to greenlight a school shooting-type flick wouldn't exactly be the PC thing to do), but here's hoping they weather the storm and stay the course. Apart from Willis, ladies like Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are showing interest in the film's "femme fatale," Francesca. Music video helmer Brett Simon will make his directorial debut, and the Yari Film Group (who optioned the script last fall) plan to begin production this July.

Okay...there are times when I can excuse the lack of originality in Hollywood. Scratch that. There are times when I can turn a blind eye to rampant repetition. But this news is 100%, undeniably, certifiably stupid. It's one thing to make a movie that follows a similar occasion or time period, or hell, even a person. It's another thing to take an interesting, unique idea, and nab it when the original has only been out for mere months. I don't know where to begin, other than I hope that this is a complete joke. But we're still a few months away from April Fool's Day.

Moviehole has reported that John Cusack and Hilary Duff will be starring in writer and director Mark Roper's new flick, Talking to Dog. Who is Roper? He's the man behind such films as Operation Delta Force 3 and City of Fear. Firstly, the movie is being described as a cross between Mad Max and Blue Velvet, which is like equating Jessica Simpson with Helen Mirren. Secondly, it deals with a post-apocalyptic future where global warming is spreading its wrath and women are infertile. At the absolute, very least, you think they'd mix it up a little -- make the men impotent or something. Nope. I will leave you with a quote of the reported synopsis, because I really couldn't word it any better:

"Time has stood still for two, small communities. The consequences of Global warming, the lack of fuel, power and communication, have left them in isolation. Dying has become an industry, a woman able to give birth, now only a dream. Into this environment, a young man arrives. He is able to communicate with the dead, able to learn secrets of the past. Because of his presence, the two communities learn that love, in a dying world, is still alive and that there is always hope, even over greed." Is this the last frontier of idiocy? A terrible rumor? A stroke of genius? Discuss.

It's that festive holiday time of year, and somehow this makes it difficult for me to focus on the usual types of gossip tidbits as much as I normally might. And you know I am not all that focused to begin with. I stare at a photo of Mel Gibson with food on his shirt, and wonder, "Why should I care about this?" as my mind wanders off to thoughts about whether I need to buy more gift wrap. Besides, I am sometimes a messy eater too, so I can't really pick on Mr. Gibson. And I can't think of anything the least bit cutting to say about director Gus Van Sant being arrested on a DUI charge; I just feel a bit sad. Meanwhile, the gossip world rolls on, at all times of the year, so this week's roundup includes marriage, birth, paternity tests, birthday gifts, and celebrity tattoos.

• It's been a big news week for Britney Spears. Not only did she get a hand tattoo, but was also voted World's Worst Celebrity Dog Owner in an online poll. At least it looks like Santa has brought me my special Christmas present of not ever having to see certain bits of Spears again.
  
• In case you're interested, Defamer provides us with a glimpse of Jake Gyllenhaal's birthday gifts. Or were they gifts for Hanukkah? It's so hard to tell with socks.

Not being a teenage girl I sometimes get my teenybopper it-girl actresses confused. If memory (and imdb) serves, Amanda Bynes is the one in What a Girl Wants and She's the Man, not the one in Material Girls and the Casper Meets Wendy TV Movie (that's Hilary Duff, btw) or the one in A Walk to Remember and Saved! (Mandy Moore, hello?) or the one in the Freaky Friday remake and Mean Girls (Lindsay Lohan, for those keeping score at home).

Man, even though they're all different people (of course) they do tend to blend together a little -- at least for me (not a teenage girl, remember?). Anyway, this particular post is not about any of those other mean, material or otherwise saved girls. No, this post is about that other girl who apparently knows what she wants -- Amanda Bynes.

According to our friends at production weekly, Bynes was recently attached to star in the upcoming flick Sydney White and the Seven Dorks, scripted by Chad Creasey and directed by Joe Nussbaum. Bynes would play the role of Sydney in the film -- which, believe it or not, is an updated take on the Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs fairy tale set among college freshmen in the Greek system. Unpopular Sydney comes to campus and ends up challenging the top sorority hottie, Rachel, for the premiere spot in the Greek-babe pecking order.

Amanda Bynes playing a college-age sorority girl in a movie? Boy, they really grow up so fast, don't they? What's next, Lindsay Lohan pretending to service some guy on screen? Oh, wait. No word on additional casting or a start date for this little gem but don't worry girls, I'm sure you won't have to wait too long.

Which of these hot young actresses is your favorite?

Hilary Duff doesn't care what critics think of her movies, and she especially doesn't care what New York Times critic Stephen Holden has to say. The actress/singer made a statement Elle against Holden's claim that she is "talent-challenged," saying that, "he doesn't really fit the demographic. So I could really care less." She has a point, doesn't she? I personally think it's pretty useless for critics to give a bad review to someone like Duff, since it won't matter to either those who expect little from her anyway or those who are fans of hers. It is different when we give a surprisingly good review to a movie like She's the Man and its star, Amanda Bynes, because that discussion is more notable.

If Duff ever crosses over into a broader range of roles, particularly if she takes on serious roles, then it might be more in Holden's interests to address her contributions at that time. But according to her, a cross-over isn't likely any time soon. She commented on the possibility, saying, "Suppose the next thing I did was this super-edgy independent movie where I was pregnant or shooting up? What would that do to my fan base?" Now, as much as I think that would be amusing to see, I applaud Duff in knowing her place. We don't need another teen star attempting to become a real actress before she's ready. Too many films are ruined because of young starlets without proper talent being cast in serious roles. I'm thinking of Dunst, Lohan, Holmes and maybe Mandy Moore most recently, but it is certainly something that has been going on for years. Anyone remember when Bertolucci had to go and cast Liv Tyler? Yeah, I've been trying to forget it, too.