It would be easy to offer you appropriately themed movies for the Fourth of July. There is, of course, Independence Day, plus flicks like Yankee Doodle Dandy, or on a more serious note, Born of the Fourth of July. But what's the fun in that? You could come up with those yourself. I could be snarky and offer only British fare, which is actually very tempting, but I have something else in mind: Independence-themed chills.

The two films for this double feature are not centered specifically on the Fourth of July, but the date is important to both stories -- whether it's the tale of tourists and teeth, or parades and creepiness. Do you see where I'm headed? For this double feature, in honor of the Fourth of July, I give you: Jaws and Cape Fear.

I love conceptually clever alien invasion films. I mean, Independence Day (humans fight aliens!) is fun, but something like Signs (humans fight aliens, from the point of view of one farm family) is way more gripping. And for all my problems with Cloverfield (which isn't quite an alien invasion movie, though I guess we don't really know that), its notion of an apocalyptic event viewed solely from the ground was brilliant, and the movie worked like gangbusters when it really engaged with that idea instead of focusing on the emotional tribulations of the numbskull characters.

Battle: Los Angeles (not to be confused with Battle in Seattle), which is being fast-tracked for Columbia from a script by Chris Bertolini (The General's Daughter), looks to be a movie like that. The story posits a large-scale alien invasion, but will focus on one marine platoon's role in Earth's effort to fight back on the streets of Los Angeles. I'm not sure any movie to date has tried to answer the question of what it's like for the poor military saps who inevitably get deployed against the terrifying alien attackers. (Starship Troopers is close, but not quite what I have in mind.) I mean, what about those guys who ran across the screen with grenade launchers in Cloverfield? What happened to them? Inquiring minds want to know.

Directed and co-written by Roland Emmerich, who's previously given us Stargate, Independence Day, Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 B.C. offers audiences the prospect of epic action on a canvas as broad as human history; what it delivers is another matter entirely. In an age where computer-generated effects make spectacle possible, and audiences reward blood-and-thunder films like Gladiator and 300 at the box office, greenlighting 10,000 B.C. must have seemed logical. I can imagine someone pitching the film, to paraphrase Team America: World Police, by saying "It's like 300 .... plus 9,700!"

But as Emmerich's films have always demonstrated, suggesting that spectacle can make up for weak storytelling is like suggesting that having a great haircut can make up for being born without a skeleton. And, so it is in 10,000 B.C., where a variety of off-the-rack plot points and generic heroic journeys are decorated with computer-generated baubles like wooly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers and massed mobs, shiny hollow Christmas ornaments hung on a bare, ruined tree. Emmerich co-wrote 10,000 B.C. with Harald Klosser and put an army of technicians to work on the movie, but the end result simply feels like threads and themes and moments borrowed from other films.

Can Roland Emmerich's 10,000 B.C. survive if it doesn't feature New York City either under water, under ice or being attacked by aliens and/or giant lizards? That's the question I had after watching the first teaser trailer for 10,000 B.C. -- Emmerich's latest epic, effects-laced extravaganza. From the guy who brought us Independence Day, the updated Godzilla and The Day After Tomorrow comes a film that ... I don't even know what to say. It's like Apocalypto, but extremely Hollywood-ized. Once you get past all the running and animal-fighting, the first question you'll probably have is ... what language will this film be in? I can't answer that for sure, but since it's coming from Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures (300), I assume everyone spoke English back in 10,000 B.C. I mean, the Spartans did, so why wouldn't these prehistoric mammoth hunters?

It's a no-brainer; I really can't see a major studio like Warners taking a chance on a big-budgeted flick that either doesn't have dialogue or is in a different language. It just wouldn't make sense. But we're used to seeing the historical facts smudged a whole lot when it comes to huge Hollywood flicks, so I won't hold that against the film. That being said, this is only a teaser. Does it look cool? Yeah. But that's as far as I can go. All of Emmerich's films "look" cool, but I've always found the stories are told on a third grade level. Hopefully this one will carry a bit more substance, instead of two hours worth of half-naked men chasing mammoths around with spears. I have no problem checking my brain at the door for certain things, but I'm getting tired of people using that excuse for every other film that gets released. But perhaps I'm in the minority on that one. Who knows. 10,000 B.C. arrives in theaters on March 7, 2008.

Here's an idea that seem a bit late: a disaster movie spoof. Not only would it have been more fitting nearly a decade ago, when Armageddon and Deep Impact faced off at the box office, and when we'd already seen Independence Day, Twister, Titanic and the dueling volcano movies, but we hardly need a parody of these movies after seeing unintentional spoofs like The Core, The Day After Tomorrow and Poseidon. Still, the cheaply made cheap laughs of the modern spoof trend need something to make fun of now that scary movies, date movies and epic movies have been taken care of. So, thanks to Screen Gems, we are about to get Armageddagain: The Day Before Tomorrow from director Robert Moniot, who co-wrote the movie with voice-actor Travis Oates.

Moniot apparently already has experience spoofing Armageddon -- or at least its title -- having previously directed a short film called Pearl Harbor II: Pearlmageddon. That 11 minute short seems to have been popular enough (based on the IMDb user ratings), but then again shorts and skits are much more tolerable when it comes to silly spoofs. The current model of spoof features is unfortunately like a bunch of these shorts linked together by some forced, incoherent plot. Interestingly, Armageddagain is being produced by actor Noah Emmerich, though as far as I know, he isn't related to Roland Emmerich, director of Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. In addition to spoofing the long-passed disaster movies of the 1990s, the movie will reportedly feature parodies of upcoming pics like Transformers and The Bourne Ultimatum.

Today is my best friend's birthday. I've always been jealous of him because July 3rd is, hands down, the coolest birthday ever. First off, when you're young there's no school that day, the day after or the day after that. Heck, it's summer -- you don't have school for two months. When you're older, working some dead end job and hating your life, July 3rd is superb because of the federal (no work for me!) holiday that follows on the fourth.

Not only that, but early July is always such a fun time here in the United States. Time to go to the beach, throw a backyard barbecue and smuggle in illegal fireworks from Pennsylvania because I can't buy them anywhere near me. Ya know, it's time to be an American --  time to throw on some SPF 75, wave a flag and complain about what President Bush isn't doing. For a movie buff, it's time to escape the heat and sit down with one of your favorite patriotic films.

Depending on the kind of mood you're in, there's plenty of films to choose from -- most of which involve us Americans kicking someone's ass. Can't make up your mind? Well, here's a few flicks to help steer you toward a decision:

• Americans kicking Alien ass: Independence Day
• Americans kicking German ass: Saving Private Ryan, Battle of the Bulge
• Americans kicking Japanese ass: Pearl Harbor, In Harm's Way, Sands of Iwo Jima
• Americans kicking Vietnamese ass: Platoon, Born on the Fourth of July
• Americans kicking English ass: The Patriot
• Americans kicking American ass:  Glory

So, I ask you: What's your favorite patriotic (go America!) film?

Though Hollywood begins its summer earlier and earlier each year, in general, Memorial Day weekend brings us the season's unofficial start and everything that goes along with it. Hell yeah, it's time to open up the pool, grease up the barbeque and talk big budget blockbusters baby!

Growing up, with no school to occupy my mind during those three months off, there was nothing to look more forward to than a classic summer moviegoing experience. Now, in order to have such an experience, certain elements were required to be in place. First off, there needed to be a certain amount of hype connected to the film (or films). Usually, a teaser trailer over the Christmas holiday was enough to get any kid pumped up. As its release nears, deciding where to see the film and who to go with was (and still is) a problematic situation. For the most satisfying overall moviegoing experience, I suggest attending its opening night with one, or two of your best mates. Keep in mind, you will need to get there real early, but the wait is worth it ... depending on the film, of course.

Seeing as I'm only 29-years-old, the following films were chosen because a) I was able to see them in the theater when they were first released and b) I specifically remember each one bringing me a classic and unforgettable summer moviegoing experience. Sure, they may not be the greatest films ever made, but I can connect each one to a different time in my life. So, what is the ultimate summer moviegoing experience? That's up to you. Here are mine ...

It would be such easy marketing for a Fantastic Four movie to open on the 4th of July. The original even had it down at first: Four on Four! It was the easiest release date to remember since Independence Day. Ok, so last year the 4th was a Monday and no films opened, and ID4 opened on the 3rd of July back in 1995. Sometimes it is just the general neighborhood of time that studios need us to remember. Still, F4 didn't get to open close enough to the holiday last year to seem appropriate, because War of the Worlds took control of the big date and pushed the little comic book blockbuster out of the way to the 8th.

Now, as you know, 20th Century Fox is making a sequel (which said out-loud sounds like a Hitchhiker's Guide reference) and seemed to be hoping for a July 4th, 2007 opening, as the date is on a Wednesday and therefore ripe for releasing. Unfortunately, the franchise is still too weak to claim the big-league day as its own. With the Michael Bay-directed Transformers scheduled to come out on the 4th, Fantastic Four 2 has once again been shoved to the side, this time two weeks earlier (June 15th). So, now Fox might want to do a little planning. The next time the holiday falls on a release day is 2012. I'm not sure they should wait for Part 3 or just keep it going up until then, but either way, they need to take siege now. And if any other films attempt another bit of bullying, I say its clobberin' time!

 

I am in no way ashamed to say that President’s Day is my favorite of any holiday ever invented. There are no cards, no gifts, no dinners and no complaining. It’s one of those “feel good” holidays, simply because having a day off makes us all feel real good.

However, it wouldn’t be right if we ignored the real reason behind why we celebrate…to acknowledge our President. Or is it other Presidents? Wait, who exactly are we remembering anyway? And are we remembering or acknowledging? Do you even care?

While most of us (okay, me) try to figure out exactly what we’re supposed to be doing this President’s Day, let us look back on some of the more memorable Presidential-themed films. From a President who kicks ass to those that act like one, it’s all about another three-day weekend on this week’s Trailer Park…