Here's a round-up of today's news:

• Jamie Kennedy is going to produce an indie called In Northwood, which stars Nick Stahl as a man condemned to a mental hospital after committing murder. THR
• Cocaine Cowboys has picked itself up a scribe -- gonzo journalist and screenwriter Evan Wright. THR
  
• Everyone's favorite pot-smoking Jay, aka Jason Mewes, has nabbed a starring role in the indie slasher flick Silent But Deadly, which shoots in Ontario next month. Variety
• Phillip Noyce, meanwhile, is going to hit the plank and write the remake of Captain Blood. THR
• Check out Jennifer's blood-dripping lips, which just so happens to look like a certain television poster that was released recently. JoBlo
  
• Get ready for Robot Chicken: Star Wars: Episode 2! Coming Soon
• Posters: The Day The Earth Stood Still and Max Payne

There's good news for those of you who are tired of the strange, low-quality films that Jamie Kennedy has been taking on for a while now. The Hollywood Reporter has posted that he'll be joining Ghost Whisperer, which should keep him busy for the time being. Kennedy will be playing a psychology grad student "who forms a bond" with Jennifer Love Hewitt's Melinda – hardly the goofy fare he's lathered himself in these days, so maybe this will even pull him out of his comedy schlock rut.

It seems like a distant memory now, but back in the good ol' days, Kennedy was the ultimate, cool, funny nerd who upped the ante in Scream as the virginal, movie-obsessed Randy Meeks. Those awesome, colorful suede shoes ... his rundown movie rules ... he was the reason I loved the film, and I almost boycotted number three until I heard about the little surprise.

Well, no matter what he does in his professional life, at least we can go back to moments like the above clip.

Last Rewind Answer: Ron Howard was the actor/director who did not pop up in Going Overboard.

I hit a late night screening of Heckler here at AFI Dallas last night. The film is a documentary by Michael Addis (Poor White Trash) about comedian and actor Jamie Kennedy (Son of the Mask, Malibu's Most Wanted). The film starts out talking about people who heckle comedians at live comedy shows, before diverging into an exploration of various critics who have slammed Kennedy's films. Kennedy talks to a few critics about their reviews, reading their eviscerations of his work out loud to them and gauging their reactions both to hearing their own words and seeing the effect their writing has on him as a person.

I'll have a full review of the film up shortly (it was actually very funny and insightful, for the most part), but I want to talk a bit about the film here. One of the points raised in both the film and in the post-show Q&A, ran jointly by Addis and Film Threat's Mark Bell (pictured, above), who got into a bit of a heated kerfuffle with Addis at the Q&A for the film's AFI Los Angeles screening, was whether critics should hold comedies to the same standard as more highbrow films. Kennedy, dialed into the Q&A over Addis's cell phone, noted that Bell had called Malibu's Most Wanted an "easy target," and wondered why Bell and other critics hold comedies to a different standard than a film like, say, There Will be Blood.

While they might be all sorts of succulent and tasty, poultry gets the crappy end of the slang stick. The chicken is the coward, and instead of a platter signifying all things delectable, turkeys are considered the foolish and often useless. To top that off -- when turkeys hit the celebrity realm, well, they're usually also box office bombs. In honor of our never-ending love of celebrity gossip, train-wrecks, and disaster stories, I present you with seven tasty turkeys in honor of our upcoming turkey day. Many are just a gross waste of potential, and some, I'm sure you'll agree, don't even have half the potential that studios give them credit for. Whatever the reason, they're all riding the stinker train.

Gobble, gobble!


Paris Hilton

She's mocked by many, loved by few, but Paris Hilton seems to be able to outlast even the little train that could. Prison didn't stop her, and neither do crappy movies. Working backwards: Pledge This! was so very bad that it's pretty much off the radar; the same goes for Bottoms Up; House of Wax did alright, but doesn't hold the moviegoer love; and, which Hillz? Yet somehow, somewhere, she got cast in Repo! The Genetic Opera!, which let her loose on the streets of Toronto to gripe over sex tape woes. We keep waiting for her to fall, or go away, but I'm starting to think that this super-skinny turkey is here to stay. She's like one of those inflatable boxing stand-ups that somehow swings its way upright each and every time.

It's not just that the painfully atrocious Kickin' It Old Skool is entirely lacking in laughs, wit, energy and good humor. That'd be enough to dismiss the thing as yet another sloppy comedy -- but this movie is much worse than that. Basically, the flick looks like something that was thrown together by a couple of clueless amateurs who just got done watching a double feature of Big and Breakin'. If you've been waiting your whole life for someone to combine those two movies into one unwatchable feature, congratulations: Here it is -- and you're the only one who'll enjoy it.

Jamie Kennedy, often funny elsewhere but so not funny here, plays a moron who wakes up after two decades in a coma and decides to participate in a break-dancing competition. To that end, he must convince his three old buddies to join the crew, get close to a cute girlfriend from the past, and thwart the conniving villain who wants to spoil the fun. It's basically an Adam Sandler screenplay that got tossed into the garbage a few years back, only to be fished out by Kennedy's agent, rewritten by a guy who pens episodes of Beauty and the Geek, and handed to a director who barely has an idea which end of the camera points out. But it's not the paper-thin (and plagiarized) nature of the plot that annoys me, nor is it the dead-eyed acting performances, the egregiously lame comedy material or the fact that the thing runs over a hundred merciless minutes.

Odds and ends from Thursday:

• Damn, talk about a quick turnaround -- that Nativity film already has a teaser trailer online, as well as some behind the scenes footage. Pic, which will tell the story of Mary from a "strong female perspective" is directed by Catherine Hardwicke and stars Whale Riders' Keisha Castle-Hughes. It's not too uncommon for a film to move along this fast, though a speedy production can sometimes hinder its final outcome. Everyone involved wants this flick in theaters in time for Christ's birthday, so only then will we see if this lightning rod is any good.
• I can't stand these little pop-culture phrases that clever writers dream up, only to pollute the environment and drive me crazy. Where's Al Gore's documentary on the words Mimbo and Metrosexual? That's what I want to know. Anyway, Paramount Pictures snatched up the pitch Frenemies from writers Dwayne Stempel and Jennifer Robinson. Frenemies. Yes, that's what it's called. Wanna know what a Frenemy is? I know you do. You're dying for it. Well, the story revolves around two best girlfriends who, for one reason or another, become archenemies. Get it? A Frenemy is a friend who becomes an enemy. What will they come up with next? Just shoot me now.
• Since I'm always looking for reasons to bash Jamie Kennedy, a wonderful little story popped up today that was just too good to ignore. Seems the actor/comedian wants to become a real-life rapper. Oh yeah, and you thought Malibu's Most Wanted was just a joke. Nope, this guy is actually hoping to be the next Eminem -- he even has a record deal with plans to release his first rap album next month. Sorry folks, the only joke present here is the artist himself. Has anyone heard his music? Is it really as bad as I know it is?

UPDATED TO ADD: Yes, I know about Kennedy's TV show, however a lot of people thought it was a joke because, well, the guy does stuff like that. And so, to repeat myself, the only joke present here is the artist himself.

First of all, could someone please explain to me what a "sketch comedy feature" is? Is that the way that the trades just started to describe really loosely-plotted movies like the Scary Movie series? Or is it something new entirely? I'm very confused. Whatever it is, Parental Guidance Suggested is one, and it sounds so, so bad that you wonder about the sanity of everyone involved, particularly those who are paying to get it made. Crazy, the lot of them.

According the The Hollywood Reporter, the movie will star Frankie Muniz (He's really making great non-Malcolm in the Middle choices, huh? How 'bout that Agent Cody Banks?) as "a teen who loses his virginity to his girlfriend ... only to find she wants to take things much further, including farm animals and midgets." Whew. Sorry, had to take a break there, because I was laughing so hard there were tears coming out of my eyes. But wait -- it gets better! Also in the film are Matthew Lillard (who, to my great shame, I actually like), Jamie Kennedy and Andy Milonakis, whose character "falls in love with an electric vagina." Honestly. There are no words.

We reported back in December that Jamie Kennedy had ridden the insane popularity of Malibu's Most Wanted to another starring role in a comedy about a white guy doing hilarious, unexpected things. This latest film is called Kickin It Old Skool, and since that first report, it's acquired a rather massive cast, as well as a production company.

Bob Yari Productions announced recently that it will co-produce the film will Kennedy's own Jizzy Entertainment (yes, that's really what it's called); both men will be among the executive producers. In the movie, in case it's slipped your mind (or you've blocked it out), Kennedy will play the adult version of a 12-year-old breakdancer who injured himself mid-dance back in the day and wakes from a coma 20 years later, determined to "revive his dance group's career." Joining B-Rad in the cast will be a slew of actors, including the pleasingly smarmy Christopher McDonald, Alan Ruck (please, please let him be one of the dancers), Smallville's Michael Rosenbaum, and Vivica Fox.

The movie is currently in pre-production, and is expected to being shooting soon in Vancouver.