A confession: I have a downright unnatural willingness to laugh at a) people falling down, and b) people being hit by things. I think it's among the highest forms of humor. So it shouldn't surprise you to learn that I consider The Pink Panther -- the Peter Sellers version -- a national treasure. It may surprise you a bit more to learn that I thought the 2006 Steve Martin/Shawn Levy version was reasonably watchable. But, I mean, what did you expect from someone who adores a well-timed pratfall?

Sony has posted a teaser for the sequel here. The Pink Panther 2 is directed by Harald Zwart (Agent Cody Banks and the underrated One Night at McCool's), and has Steve Martin's Inspector Clouseau team up with a bunch of similarly bumbling international detectives to track down a thief of historical artifacts. In addition to the first film's Jean Reno and Emily Mortimer, it will also co-star Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, Aishwarya Rai, and John Cleese (who's taking over for Kevin Kline). I don't know how I feel about Clouseau being placed among similar nincompoops -- part of the franchise's appeal is the way its protagonist is sort of an island of incompetence. But the teaser did get a chuckle out of me, if only for the look on Martin's face after pronouncing "Well then, I'll just go back home."

Did I mention that I also find bad French accents very funny?

It's funny how you can get completely used to seeing a name, and then used to its absence, only to have it pop up again, years later, out of nowhere. Skeet Ulrich has been steering clear of the big screen (or the big screen has been steering clear of him) for a while now. The last time he had a movie out, it was the 2001 flick Chilly Dogs. There was also Soul Assassin, Nobody's Baby, and Takedown -- which was a Hackers sequel that somehow flew off the radar even with a jam-packed cast. But now things are changing for the Jericho star. He's got a new movie on the way, and maybe this will be his reintroduction to the wide world of film.

The Hollywood Reporter has posted that he has nabbed a role in the upcoming flick, Armored. This is that Matt Dillon gang of thieves movie that Peter Martin blogged about back in October -- the one that also has Columbus Short attached. Ulrich is taking on the role of Dobbs -- "a scruffy member of an armored truck company who plans to empty a truck of its $10 million." The thieves all somehow got themselves the armored car gig, so there's one HR person somewhere who is really, really crappy at their job . Sweetening the pot, I hope as thieves -- THR says that Laurence Fishburne, Fred Ward, and the best Professional to ever hit the screen, Jean Reno, will co-star.

Some things never change while others come and go, but no matter what happens, it's a comfort to hear that Skeet can still grab a scruffy role.

Dang, there sure are a lot of hitman characters in the movies. And what's the difference between a hitman and an assassin, anyway? Does Jason Bourne count, or is he no longer a hitman/assassin by the time his cinematic story begins? Are Pulp Fiction's Vincent and Jules really hitmen or are they technically bagmen? Yeah, it's a difficult task to make a list of prominent hitmen in film. So, I'll let someone else make a "25 Greatest Hitmen" list; here, I present my seven favorites.

Feel free to mention your own preferences. With so many characters, whether easily falling within definition or not, I'm certainly leaving out a lot of good ones. But, as I said, these are my favorites. The cool, the funny, the interesting, they're the ones I enjoy watching over and over again, despite their lethal nature.


Martin Q. Blank in Grosse Pointe Blank (1997, George Armitage)

There is no better hitman than John Cusack's Martin Blank. He's good at his job, and he's funny, and he's willing to give it all up for love. Of course, he's bored enough by the occupation that he'd probably give it up for any good reason. It doesn't seem to matter to him that it's morally wrong; he's just another normal guy, dissatisfied with his job. And while it does seem to be a gag that's stretched thin, his issues do make him more entertaining than the usual silent-yet-conflicted hitmen. Plus, it's enjoyable to think that this is what really happened to Lloyd Dobbler, or Lane Meyer, or any other Cusack character from the '80s.

Signature line: "I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a new found respect for life."

Marc Esposito, French filmmaker and founder of the French movie magazine Studio, is heading to the world of fairy tales. Having recently wrapped production on his film Le Coeur des hommes 2, he told The Hollywood Reporter that he will be tackling the world of glass slippers and sinister stepsisters with Cendrillon (Cinderella). They're calling it a "film lover's fairy tale," presumably because it's going to reunite Jean Reno and Sophie Marceau, who were both in Michelangelo Antonioni and Wim Wenders' Beyond the Clouds. Or, maybe this Cinderella tale will have a taste of the movies.

Either way, Reno will play the king, Marceau the fairy godmother, and they will be joined by Catherine Jacob as the wicked aunt, and César winner for Most Promising Female Newcomer Melanie Laurent as Cinderella. (She recently co-starred in the WWII drama, Days of Glory.) So far, there's no word on the scripts details, and how closely it will follow the fairy tale, but the project will enter production next summer, for the nice sum of $36.2 million. In the meantime, you can always get Enchanted with some Snow White flavor, but somehow, I have the funny feeling that there will really be no comparison between the two.

Growing up, Steve Martin was my favorite comedic actor, no contest. The Jerk, All of Me, The Man With Two Brains, Three Amigos!, Little Shop of Horrors, Roxanne, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Parenthood, LA Story, Father of the Bride, Bowfinger...you'd be hard pressed to find someone who's appeared in as many modern classic comedies. And he's obviously still a hilarious man (anyone see him on Letterman last night?). That is why his recent career path is so troubling to me. I can't fault the guy for wanting to make big lazy blockbuster family movies, and obviously there are people who enjoy them. I just wish that one of the greatest comedic minds in film history would take some more chances in his twilight years. I love his novels (read The Pleasure of My Company ASAP), and I adored the film version of Shopgirl, I sincerely hope he can bring us more interesting material like that.

But for right now, we're stuck with Pink Panther 2. Variety has announced the supporting cast, and I must say, it's pretty impressive. The great John Cleese is playing Inspector Dreyfus (perfect casting), memorably brought to life by Herbert Lom in the Peter Sellers films. Also on board are Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina, and "The Queen of Bollywood" Aishwarya Rai, often referred to as "The Most Beautiful Woman in the World." The three will play "detectives and experts who join forces with Clouseau to catch the thief who has been stealing artifacts around the world." In addition to the new gang, Jean Reno and Emily Mortimer are returning to their roles. Pink Panther 2 was written by no less than five screenwriters: first-timers Scott Neustadter and Mike Weber, big-time comedy scribes Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel (Splash, Parenthood, City Slickers), and Martin himself. Shawn Levy directed the 2006 Pink Panther, Harald Zwart (One Night at McCool's, Agent Cody Banks) will helm this one. Look for Pink Panther 2 just in time for Valentine's Day -- February 13, 2009.

What is it about kid's films? Or, rather, what is it about kid's films recently? Computer animation has made making kid's film's easier, it seems, based on the flurry of dreck like Chicken Little and The Barnyard; the better question is if computer animation has made releasing them too easy. The case in point this week is Flushed Away, the latest collaboration between Aardman Animation (Wallace & Gromit, Chicken Run) and Dreamworks Animation (Shrek, Madagascar). Flushed Away combines two worlds - the design and aesthetic of Aardman's gentle, claymation stories with the computer-generated spectacle of Dreamworks' industrial approach to animation. The result is a curious, unfixed mix of the good, the bad and the ugly -- while Flushed Away has a certain English whimsy to it, it also has the overstuffed, joke-a-millisecond kind of excess that executives think render animated films breezy trifles, but actually turns them into leaden chores. Or, put another way: In Flushed Away, a group of minion frogs in the service of a mercenary bad guy known as Le Frog (and voiced by Jean Reno) are given the order to action; they immediately hurl up their hands and cry "We surrender!" Is this funny, to a kid? Is it funny to any grown-up whose I.Q. is higher than their belt size?

Before Le Frog enters the arena, though, Flushed Away begins as pampered house pet rat Roddy (voiced by Hugh Jackman) is left alone as his owner leaves the house for a holiday. Roddy promptly goes on a high-spirited spree, playing with all the toys and dolls and neat geegaws, but we also notice he's a bit lonely. A plumbing mishap leads loud, boisterous rat Sid (Shane Richie) to Roddy's home, and soon Roddy is plunged into the toilet and out of his paradise. In the sewers, Roddy finds a small London, underground -- a teeming Rodent-opolis of families, commerce and bustling activity. Roddy's quest to get back home brings him to the dock of ship's pilot Rita (voiced by Kate Winslet), who may be able to get him to the surface -- but that's waylaid by the manipulations of the silken-voiced mastermind known as The Toad (Ian McKellen), who's plotting to wipe the sewer rodent-opolis away. ...

Those familiar with the comic-strip Peanuts will recall that Snoopy often fantasized about being a World War I flying ace. Sitting atop his doghouse as if it were a Sopwith Camel biplane, he dreamed of being in dogfight combat with his arch nemesis The Red Baron, a real German ace (never actually depicted in the strip) who would riddle the doghouse with bullet holes. It is probably our generation's greatest association with that war, seeing as how Hollywood has pretty much ignored it for decades.

Ever since Howard Hughes lost both money and lives attempting to recreate the war's aerial combat on screen for 1930's Hell's Angels, the cost of showing another realistic dogfight just couldn't have been worth it for producers in the subsequent 75 years. The closest thing to a dogfight at the movies has been Star Wars, which modeled its space battles after WWI footage -- not using real spaceships, of course. Now, finally, there is Flyboys, a film that uses computer effects for the dogfights, making for a much safer production, and also a more artificial one.