Give Joshua Seftel some credit; he didn't pull any punches on War, Inc. In his first feature film, written by star/producer John Cusack, Jeremy Pisker, and Mark Leyner, Seftel attempts to make a scathing commentary on the War on Terror, the privatization of the military, the commercialization of societies all over the world, and other shenanigans. In a former life, Seftel was a former network news producer, and became known around Hollywood circles for directing documentaries like Breaking the Mold: The Kee Malesky Story.

He was nice enough to speak to me about the experience from a very blue room at the Tribeca Film Festival press office. Text and video are after the jump.

What do you say when a film is so bad that you actually feel physical pain for everyone involved? You literally sit there for an hour-and-a-half and feel sorry for everyone who put such a hard effort into the making of the film, only to see it lay there like a lox when it's finally projected on the big screen. As a reviewer, there's not much more you can do than just endure it and hope to see a fleeting moment or two of quality, just so you don't think you've completely wasted your time.

That's all the thoughts that were going through my head as I watched War, Inc., an ambitious film that fails miserably at everything it attempts to be. As a comedy, it's not funny. As a satire, it's as subtle as a sledgehammer. And as a treatise on war, the corporatization of the military, and the horrors of pop stardom, it doesn't tell you anything that you don't already know if you just watch the 24-hour news channels or read the news online even a little bit.

Cinematical has just received this creepy (but oddly adorable) exclusive teaser poster for Igor (click on the image to enlarge), an animated film coming to us via The Weinstein Co. this September. Igor features the voice talent of John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Eddie Izzard, Jennifer Coolidge, Molly Shannon, Jay Leno, Arsenio Hall ... it gets better ... and James Lipton -- playing himself! Talk about a voice cast sent from the comedy Gods! Igor is the story of a mad scientist's hunchbacked lab assistant whose greatest dream is to win the coveted first place award at the annual Evil Science Fair. This one looks like all kinds of fun -- I mean, look at that poster. Look at that face. How do you not love that face? How do you not want to take Igor home with you, cuddle up on the couch, watch a monster movie marathon and -- if time allows -- destroy the world? I know I do ...

Igor arrives in theaters on September 19.

The pounding beat of a headache, or the sear of a migraine, is something I rarely have to face. That makes me lucky, for the most part, but it also means that when one hits, like today, all I can think of is heads and brains like a zombie in training. Naturally, this has me thinking of movies that focus on the stories of the noggin. Should I go for The Man with Two Brains or other similar brainy fare? Nah.

Instead, I'm going to focus on a man behind the camera, one who brought us two of the best stories of the mind to date: Mr. Charlie Kaufman. It all started with a little Malkovich Malkovich, and then continued with the overwhelming urge to erase love from the mind -- two stories that make a little headache seem like nothing. On this warm Friday, I give you: Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind ...

Cinematical was just handed this exclusive poster for the film War, Inc. (click on the image to enlarge), starring John Cusack, Hilary Duff, Marisa Tomei, Joan Cusack, Dan Aykroyd and Ben Kingsley. Now is that one helluva cast, or is that one helluva cast? Word has it this one is in the vein of Grosse Point Blank, which was another fun little flick starring the male Cusack. From the synopsis: "War, Inc. is a a political satire set in Turaqistan, a country occupied by an American private corporation run by a former US Vice-President (Dan Akroyd). In an effort to monopolize the opportunities the war-torn nation offers, the corporation's CEO hires a troubled hit man, played by John Cusack, to kill a Middle East oil minister. Now, struggling with his own growing demons, the assassin must pose as the corporation's Trade Show Producer in order to pull off this latest hit, while maintaining his cover by organizing the high-profile wedding of Yonica Babyyeah (Hilary Duff) an outrageous Middle Eastern pop star, and keeping a sexy left wing reporter (Marisa Tomei) in check."

War, Inc. arrives in theaters (in limited release) on May 23.

At first, I mistakenly thought that War, Inc. was a re-named version of Talking to Dog, that Children of Men rip-off I wrote about last year. (It's actually a re-named version of Brand Hauser: Stuff Happens.) War stars John Cusack and Hilary Duff, just like the other one was supposed to. Now Talking to Dog seems to have fallen off the face of the earth, so did the movie studios consider the rip-off angle and go in a new direction? Or did Hilary just follow John to this new endeavor? Or, did my attempts at weird mental mojo* work and make that other project die for good?

Whatever the case, Hilary and John are starring in War, Inc. with sister Joan, Marisa Tomei, and Ben Kingsley, and Rope of Silicon has your first look at the action, and John Cusack's furrowed brow (which you can see a bit of to the upper right). This should be tons better than the other option for a number of reasons, but mainly because the unique, surreal voice of Mark Leyner wrote this puppy. (He's written great novels like The Tetherballs of Bougainville and Et Tu, Babe?)

The film once again puts John in the assassin role, and this time he's contracted to kill an oil minister from the Middle East (Ben Kingsley). Instead of high school reunions, however, his cover is "producing a big trade show that includes a wedding between a local pop star and a politico, but complications ensue." The pics don't show too much, but it is strange to see Hilary Duff looking like a cross between a pop star and tough-ass scorpion tamer in one of them. The film is set for a limited release this May.

*I was so against this project, that I figured if I can make new DVDs pop up by buying the old VHS or bare-bones disc version, or off-handedly talk about celebrity deaths right before they happen, maybe I could will Dog into cinematic death.

When I started at Cinematical, I had never conducted an interview before. I bought my first digital recorder with trembling hands, and in my first interview I stuttered more than Michael Palin in A Fish Called Wanda. But I pulled through it, didn't embarrass myself, and got smoother with practice. What I've learned is that no matter how intimidating the interviewee may be, as long as you are reasonably pleasant, professional, and well-prepared, the discussion won't go totally off the rails.

For an example of an interviewer not being well prepared and a discussion that does go totally off the rails, I direct you to this hilarious clip of a young woman (judging by the youtube comments, she's a communications student at USC) starting an interview with John Cusack. I won't spoil it for you, I'll just say it's safe for work, it's brief, and it's as cringe-inducing and awkward as anything on The Office. You will be screaming at this reporter to just...stop...talking. Enjoy! And friends, please, do your research!

(Since Grace is Gone is now screening in limited release, we're re-publishing James' review from the 2007 Sundance Film Festival.)

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.
(It is sweet and decorous to die for one's country.)

-- Horace

Sure, but try explaining that to someone who's lost a loved one in war; it may be sweet and decorous to die for one's country, but how is that consolation to the people left behind? How do you explain that kind of loss to yourself? How do you explain that kind of loss to children? And moving from the abstract to the concrete, as Stanley Phillips (John Cusack) has to ask himself, how can he explain to his daughters Heidi (Shélan O'Keefe) and Dawn (Gracie Bednarczyk) that their mom -- wife, mother, friend, U.S. Army staff sergeant -- isn't coming back to them because she's died in Iraq?

Well, for Stanley, the answer to that is simple: You don't. At least not right away. You stall for a few minutes. And then you stall for an hour. And then you stall a little more and ask the kids what they'd like to do while driving around Minnesota's chain restaurants and strip malls, trying desperately to think of how to tell them. And when Dawn says she wants to go to Enchanted Gardens -- a Florida fun park -- Stanley puts the family on the highway and heads South, because doing something stupid is invariably easier than doing something right.

Sometimes there's nothing scarier than a real location. It could be the dingy air of Detroit, or hop a little bit east for the so-called armpit of America -- Buffalo. There's all sorts of thrilling stories that could take place there. Thrills can be had amongst the fires of Cheektowaga, or the daily dumping of snow each winter. Unfortunately, "Whiteout" is being used for that Kate Beckinsale movie, so this upcoming Buffalo thriller will have to take place inside. The Hollywood Reporter has posted that John Cusack has signed on to star in The Factory -- a psychological thriller set in the good city of Buffalo.

Once again, like his thriller stint in 1408, Cusack will play the sad dad on a mission. But this time around, he's "an obsessed cop who, with his partner, is on the trail of a serial killer prowling the streets of Buffalo, NY. When his teenage daughter disappears, the cop drops any professional restraint and goes all out to get the killer." The script comes from Aussie Project Greenlight winner Morgan O'Neill, who will also direct, and reportedly he co-wrote the script with someone else, but they weren't named in the news piece. The film will begin shooting this January, which is pretty adventurous of the filmmakers, unless Buffalo will be built on a backlot somewhere in Hollywood. Hopefully it's the former. We don't get too many cop thrillers set in blizzards.

There are a few animated movies on the way that I've been dying to see. One is Jackboots on Whitehall, which is challenging every last bit of my anxious patience, and the other is Anthony Leondis' Igor. Luckily enough, at least for the latter film, a release date has finally been set. Unfortunately -- it's almost a year from now -- October 24, 2008. But still, the film is on its way, and we're sure to see much more about it soon since The Hollywood Reporter has posted that the Weinstein Co. and Exodus Film Group have teamed up with CKE Restaurants for some greasy movie marketing.

CKE owns Carl's Jr. and Hardee's, and over 3,000 locations are going to participate in the usual throng of movie/food linkage. Igor will take part in Cool Kids Combos and "four custom-designed Igor premiums," as well as displays and an online campaign. But that's just the first step. Soon we'll also see the throng of action figures and play sets, plus nine Igor books. Basically, the crazy helper should be everywhere. To refresh your memory, Igor is a feature film based on a short, where a mad scientist's (Dr. Schadenfreude) assistant, Igor, aims to win the Evil Science Fair. The idea on it's own is brilliance, but the film boasts one heck of a voice lineup that includes John Cusack as Igor, Steve Buscemi as a lab rat named Scamper, Jennifer Coolidge as the village vixen named Jaclyn, Eddie Izzard as Schadenfreude, and John Cleese as a doc named Glickenstein.

Dang, there sure are a lot of hitman characters in the movies. And what's the difference between a hitman and an assassin, anyway? Does Jason Bourne count, or is he no longer a hitman/assassin by the time his cinematic story begins? Are Pulp Fiction's Vincent and Jules really hitmen or are they technically bagmen? Yeah, it's a difficult task to make a list of prominent hitmen in film. So, I'll let someone else make a "25 Greatest Hitmen" list; here, I present my seven favorites.

Feel free to mention your own preferences. With so many characters, whether easily falling within definition or not, I'm certainly leaving out a lot of good ones. But, as I said, these are my favorites. The cool, the funny, the interesting, they're the ones I enjoy watching over and over again, despite their lethal nature.


Martin Q. Blank in Grosse Pointe Blank (1997, George Armitage)

There is no better hitman than John Cusack's Martin Blank. He's good at his job, and he's funny, and he's willing to give it all up for love. Of course, he's bored enough by the occupation that he'd probably give it up for any good reason. It doesn't seem to matter to him that it's morally wrong; he's just another normal guy, dissatisfied with his job. And while it does seem to be a gag that's stretched thin, his issues do make him more entertaining than the usual silent-yet-conflicted hitmen. Plus, it's enjoyable to think that this is what really happened to Lloyd Dobbler, or Lane Meyer, or any other Cusack character from the '80s.

Signature line: "I was hired to kill you, but I'm not going to do it. It's either because I'm in love with your daughter or because I have a new found respect for life."

Well, it's official. The Writers Guild of America is going on strike tomorrow. Here's hoping the strike ends quickly and that all parties come away happy. And writers? Use this time off to study my choices for the seven best screenplays of the 2000's:

The 40 Year Old Virgin by Judd Apatow & Steve Carell

The blending of improvisation and the written word gives Apatow's two classic comedies -- Knocked Up would be the other -- a feeling of authenticity that is all too rare in today's film world. Apatow takes the strategy of writing for specific performers and their strengths, and it really pays off. Scoff if you want at a sex comedy making the list, but for a movie to be this incredibly funny -- while keeping an oddly touching romance and a spot-on character study afloat -- the screenwriters deserve high praise.

About Schmidt by Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor

One of the saddest comedies ever made, and one of the most truthful and painful portraits of old age. Payne and Taylor specialize in scripts about people on the verge of cracking, depressed souls who tend to find the smallest redemption possible. Payne/Taylor characters never go from Point A to Point B over the course of the screenplay, they go from Point A to Point A.1. The small, gradual changes in their characters are reflective of the way actual humans (as opposed to movie humans) work. Warren Schmidt's personal growth is so minor that it is confined to the last thirty seconds of the film, but when it comes it's an emotional punch in the gut.

As expected, Saw IV continued the franchise's tradition of tearing it up at the Halloween box office, and Dan in Real Life took second place, placating audiences looking for something milder. The only thing that kept me from a perfect score on my prediction was the fact that The Game Plan had a little more life in it than I thought, beating out Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married for fourth place. Ah well, whatcha gonna do. Congrats to Bubba8193 for hitting one out of the park. And now without further ado, here's last weekend's final box office numbers:

1. Saw IV: $32.1 million.
2. Dan in Real Life: $12.1 million.
3. 30 Days of Night: $6.7 million.
4. The Game Plan: $6.3 million.
5. Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married? $5.7 million

Looking for a new release this weekend? Well, here are your options:

American Gangster
What's It All About: Set in the 1970s, American Gangster stars Denzel Washington as a Harlem drug lord who smuggles heroin inside the bodies of U.S. soldiers killed in Vietnam, and Russel Crowe plays the maverick cop out to stop him.
Why It Might Do Well: Two high caliber stars, Ridley Scott at the helm and an 89% fresh rating over at Rottentomatoes.com suggest this one is going to pull in some serious coin.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Those of us who have recently suffered through the tedium that was We Own The Night know all too well how badly a period cop story can go wrong.
Number of Theaters: 3,000
Prediction: $31 million

Bee Movie
What's It All About: Computer animated comedy starring the voices of Jerry Seinfeld and Renee Zellweger. Seinfeld plays Barry B. Benson, an idealistic young honey bee who decides to sue the human race for stealing his people's honey.
Why It Might Do Well: Promotion for this film started a looooonng time ago, so the word is definitely out there. Even nine years after his sitcom finished up, Seinfeld is still a recognizable and highly bankable star, and I think this will be this weekend's number one movie.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Only if actual bees are released in the theater.
Number of Theaters: 3,500
Prediction: $38 million

I'm about a week behind, but I wanted to talk this week about something discussed at the ShowEast exhibition convention, which was held October 13 - 18 in Orlando. That something is onscreen advertising, which I'll get to in a second; first I wanted to just outline some of the other somethings that were addressed. For those who don't know, ShowEast is one of four annual events where studios and theatre owners meet -- along with others involved in the movie industry, such as food concessions companies -- in order to discuss trends and issues, while simultaneously (and it seems primarily) celebrating upcoming releases and big stars.

This year, ShowEast awards went to John Cusack ("Star of the Year"), Frank Darabont ("Kodak Award For Excellence in Filmmaking"), New Line Cinema theatrical distribution president David Tuckerman ("Show 'E' Award") and National Amusements' Shari Redstone ("Salah M. Hassanein Humanitarian Award"), among others. Typically the awards, particularly those given to talent like actors and directors, are handed out as thank you notes to people who made the money for exhibitors this year. Obviously, giving an award to Darabont before The Mist even hits theaters is a little weird. And despite the surprise box office for Cusack's 1408, his award is also for not-yet-released movies Grace is Gone and Martian Child. As for Tuckerman's award: I don't get it. New Line hasn't been having the best year, and yesterday I heard through the grapevine that The Golden Compass is a mess. Then again, the grapevine has been wrong before ...

It's not like I think Hillary Duff is a bad actress (although I think the NYT might have something to say about that particular statement), it's just that she's hasn't had the chance yet to break out of the 'Lizzie McGuire mode' -- unless you consider the mountains of gossip surrounding her over the last two years...very "un-Disney". Duff will get her first shot at a slightly more serious role in Greta. The Hollywood Reporter announced that Duff will star in Nancy Bardawil's drama about "a waitress who falls for an ambitious cook at the restaurant where they work. But as their summer romance heats up, she has to overcome the concerns of her grandparents about her boyfriend's criminal past". Joining Duff are Ellen Burstyn and Michael Murphy as Duff's overprotective grandparents and ATL star Evan Ross will play the cook with a shady past.

The film was written by Michael Gilvary, who is making his feature debut along with director Nancy Bardawil. A music video director by trade, Bardawil has made videos for The Goo Goo Dolls, Dixie Chicks, and Hole -- but no Duff appears on the list, so at least Bardawil wasn't playing favorites when choosing her lead. Duff is still working on being one of the voice talents in the CGI family flick Foodfight! But, along with her debut in War Inc. (a sequel of sorts to Grosse Point Blank with John Cusack) she has already signed to star in Safety Glass, yet another drama that surrounds the Challenger disaster. Aww, our little starlet is finally growing up.