You like Martin Scorsese, right? You're a fan of The Rolling Stones, correct? Well, get ready to have your "19th Nervous Breakdown." AOL is reporting that the release date for Scorsese's Stones documentary has been pushed back. Waaay back. Seven months, to be exact. Just a couple weeks ago, Monika told you the film would be released in both conventional and IMAX theaters on September 21st. But now we won't get it until "sometime next April." What's the reason? Why can't we get no "Satisfaction?" A spokeswoman says that more time was needed to set up the promotional campaign for the film, because the band is on tour in Europe until August 26th. Isn't that a "Bitch?" I've got serious "Mixed Emotions" about this. I mean, "I Know It's Only Rock n' Roll...But I Like It!" I'll stop.

The documentary is called Shine a Light (also the title of one of my favorite Stones songs), and its concert footage was shot over two nights last fall at the beautiful Beacon Theater in New York. Guest performers for the shows included Buddy Guy, the almost impossibly cool Jack White, and Miss Dirrrrrty herself -- Christina Aguilera. The film will intersperse footage from the shows with career-spanning documentary material. Hopefully it will be as fascinating as what Scorsese did with his Dylan doc, the excellent No Direction Home. Scorsese also directed one of the greatest concert films of all time -- The Last Waltz, which documented the final show of The Band and included terrific performances from the likes of Bob Dylan, Van Morrison, and -- with a hunk of cocaine visibly dangling from his nose -- Neil Young. Scorsese has used Rolling Stones music in nearly all of his films. I'm surprised he didn't have the monks in Kundun dance to "Start Me Up." Hell, he's used "Gimme Shelter" three times -- in Goodfellas, Casino, and The Departed!

Have you heard the one about Keith Richards snorting his father's ashes? The whole story was a joke -- at least that is the current spin, anyway. Whatever the truth, though, the story has gotten Richards into a bit of trouble with Disney's publicity department. Although the Rolling Stones guitarist is one of the main attractions of this summer's Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, his inability to keep his comments family-friendly are a concern for the studio. Now Disney's senior vice president for publicity, Dennis Rice, has decided not to let Richards aid in much of the promotion of the blockbuster sequel. However, considering Rice is about to leave Disney for a new job at United Artists, we can't be sure that his replacement will agree with this decision.

In the movie, Richards plays Teague Sparrow, father of Johnny Depp's popular character, Captain Jack Sparrow. He will likely be drinking a lot on screen, but because of the PG PG-13* rating there shouldn't be any self-parodic gags involving drug use. As for outside the film, Disney should expect nothing else from Richards than more good-humored remarks, appropriate for kids or not, and should have realized this upon hiring him for the movie -- just as they should have expected he'd be 'wobbly' on set. I think that for the adults who are interested in At World's End, his involvement in its publicity would be favorable. In fact, I think Richards could help attract older folks more than he would turn off offended parents (their children will scream if not permitted to see this, I'm sure).

In addition to stating the distance being made between Richards and the movie, Rice also mentioned that Disney still has not confirmed plans to go further with the Pirates franchise. He says At Worlds End completes the trilogy and that no decision has been made yet to continue the characters' adventures past this third movie. If you remember, we have only so far been given the news that Depp wants more, Keira Knightley doesn't, Orlando Bloom is not needed, director Gore Verbinski is noncommittal, screenwriter Terry Rossio is uncertain and producer Jerry Bruckheimer is down for more as long as Disney is willing.

* I forgot that the Pirates movies have too much adventure violence for a simple PG. Thanks for the reminder, Caitlin.

You probably aren't familiar with him just yet, but Ben Whishaw is an actor worth taking note of. He was nominated recently for the BAFTA Rising Star award (Eva Green won it), mostly for his starring role in Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, which was one of my favorite films of last year. He's also been racking up roles in which he plays famous people (one day he could even catch up to Val Kilmer and Gary Oldman). Last year he was Keith Richards in Stoned, this year he can be seen as one of many Bob Dylans in I'm Not There and now he's in negotiations to portray the poet John Keats in Jane Campion's Bright Star.

The period romance takes place in the early 19th century, focusing on Keats' romance with Fanny Brawne, who has already been cast with Australian actress Abbie Cornish (who is rumored to also be in talks for the next Bond film.) The couple's romance only lasted a couple years before Keats' health deteriorated due to his suffering from tuberculosis. He died a year after they separated, at the age of 25. As much as we could do without another tragic, tear-jerking romance film, with Campion behind the camera this could be one of the better ones. And in addition to further boosting the careers of both Whishaw and Cornish, it could, as many Campion films are good for, garner some acting nominations for the pair as well. Next up for Whishaw is a new adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited.

As one of the few film critics to actually enjoy Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, I can honestly say I'm looking forward to more from the franchise, even after the current trilogy ends. Well, actually, I'd probably lose interest if Johnny Depp did -- not that it seems he will ever let go of Jack Sparrow. As you've probably read here and there, a fourth installment is still up in the air, and even screenwriter Terry Rossio isn't sure if it will go ahead. "It's like the fourth Indiana Jones picture," he told Moviehole. "There are forces in play to make it happen, and forces in play to make it not happen. I think we will try to write a screenplay. I can't say if we'll be able to solve the challenge of making a good fourth film, or if our screenplay will be enough to get a film made."

Last summer, Jerry Bruckheimer stated that if Rossio and Ted Elliott continued to write 'em, the producer is interested in making 'em. And this was before Dead Man's Chest went gangbusters in theaters and on DVD (Disney shareholders will likely demand more sequels if the profits keep coming.) Obviously the series will eventually dwindle in quality, as does any franchise, but considering most reviews of Dead Man's Chest were negative, this shouldn't matter. Other tidbits that Rossio shared with Moviehole include the series' origins, the difficulty of back-to-back sequels and the subject of Keith Richards: "Well you don't hire Keith Richards to get a guy who shows up in the morning, on time wearing a suit and tie," he said. "You get a guy who shows up at night, on time, with a bottle of wine. There were good times on the set."

Everyone is more or less aware that Johnny Depp modeled his famous on screen persona Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean after the aging rocker Keith Richards, right? Okay, good. Hang onto this fact, because it is relevant to today's story. After much finagling, Keith Richards was brought to the set of the third film in said pirate-y franchise, and lent his acting talents to a brief scene wherein he portrayed Sparrow's father. Fox411 tells an interesting story about this shoot, claiming it was "more or less confirmed" for them by actor Bill Nighy. The story goes something like this:

Richards, left alone in his trailer until it was time for his scene, chose to indulge in some form of excess, and showed up a bit "wobbly." Director Gore Verbinski had to hold Richards by the shins to keep him upright, and when he told Richards "you've got to keep straight," Richards replied "if you'd wanted straight, then you got the wrong man." Beyond said incident -- or possibly aided by said incident -- Depp and Richards reportedly had a great time together on set, and likely put together an extremely amusing scene or two. I suppose we'll find out for sure when it hits theaters.

So, it looks like another will he/won't he rumorfest has come to a sad end. Johnny Depp confirmed yesterday that it's very unlikely his inspiration Keith Richards will appear in Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Boo! That's what I say. Apparently Richards is too busy touring with some band or something, and won't have any time to shoot. Not even just a little cameo, Keith? Couldn't you, like, swing the tour past where the movie's being filmed, or something? For God's sake - look at this picture! The man is already a pirate. How long could shooting possibly take?

Man, my Talk Like a Pirate Day is totally ruined.

I swear I'm not making this up:  Johnny Depp's delicate, girly hands are reportedly causing all sorts of problems on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest.  Pirates, after all, are hard workers. Unlike actors, who prance about for a living and use a lot of lotion, pirates spend all day securing lines, raping, and pillaging. And there's no room in the hold for lotion - doubloons and grog and whatnot take up all the space. Supposedly the problem is so bad that producers are actually seeking a hand double for Depp. Presumably Keith Richards' hands are as gnarled as the rest of him, so no double will be needed for him.