Now that John McClane, Rocky Balboa and John Rambo have made their return to the big screen -- with Indiana Jones on his way -- the question seems pretty obvious: Who will be the next 1980s action hero to come out of retirement and enjoy one last explosion of mindless mayhem and crazy carnage? I have a few suggestions...

Marion "Cobra" Cobretti (Cobra, 1986) -- After the original First Blood, Stallone went a little insane and not only directed the hilariously bad Staying Alive ... he also starred opposite Dolly Parton in Rhinestone. So obviously it was time for A) Rambo 2, B) Rocky 4, and a powerfully mindless cop flick called Cobra. It grossed only about $50 milion, but that's pretty solid in 1986 money. Oh, and Stallone's subsequent movie? The arm-wrestling one. Other options for Sly: Gabe "Cliffhanger" Walker (which is apparently already in development), Frank "Lock Up" Leone, Lincoln "Over the Top" Hawk ... and (of course) Detective Ray Tango.

"Dirty" Harry Callahan (Dirty Harry, 1971; Magnum Force, 1973; The Enforcer, 1976; Sudden Impact, 1983; The Dead Pool, 1986) -- Pretty damn unlikely, but I'd love to see Dirty Harry polish off the pistol just one last time. Hell, send him after the terrorists! (Another, more realistic wish: Clint Eastwood will deliver at least one more western in the vein of The Outlaw Josey Wales, Pale Rider, or Unforgiven.)

If you're like me and not into children's movies of any kind, then good news -- there is a whole library of R-rated Christmas classics that you can put on during the Christmas celebration this year and not have to worry about being subjected to the Dora the Explorer Christmas Special or whatnot. Most of these titles won't come as a surprise, since they are movies you know and love already, but there's nothing wrong with a handy guide, is there?

Die Hard

Die Hard contains all of life's lessons. Who amongst us hasn't been an Argyle, completely oblivious while the storm-clouds of danger were gathering over our head? Or been faced with the choice to walk or not walk across a floor of broken glass (metaphorical, in most cases) in order to meet our stated objectives? That's why it's such a perfect movie for holiday-time reflection. You can sit back with your tumbler of egg nog and your gingerbread man cookies and know that you're watching a true work of art, not just a mindless shoot-em-up. If you're feeling really charitable, you can even place a collect call to the slammer and congratulate John McTiernan on directing one of the best films of the 80s, and one of the few movies to capture the true spirit of Christmas.

Lethal Weapon

I've already had my say about Lethal Weapon, but I can always be persuaded to say more. Here's some food for thought: Is Lethal's status as a Christmas classic tarnished by Martin Rigg's unexpected outburst of homophobic hate speech during the pistol range sequence? I'm talking of course about his off the cuff assertion to Roger -- while drilling bullet holes into a paper target with a maniacal look in his eye -- that Amanda Hunsaker's purported lesbianism with hooker friend Dixie is "disgusting." That's the kind of thing -- like the casual pot smoking in Poltergeist -- that eventually finds itself quietly excised from future release editions. Also, we can assume he became a liberal in time for Lethal Weapon 2, in which he's an anti-apartheid crusader. Go spit, Riggs!

No Christmas is complete without at least one viewing of the opening scene of Lethal Weapon, in which the happy melody of Jingle Bell Rock fades into the vision of a coked-out, topless Amanda Hunsaker preparing to pay for all the sins of 80s excess with one perfectly executed swan-dive off a high-rise balcony and onto the waiting windshield of a car below. I won't be so brash as to call it the best scene in the entire Lethal canon -- the 'death by surfboard' sequence in Lethal Weapon 2 is tough to beat -- but it's certainly up there, and fun for the whole family. It's also one of several Christmas-focused scenes throughout the film, another favorite of which would be the coke-deal gone bad in the Christmas tree lot, with Martin Riggs unwisely revealing himself as a cop to the bad guys before he has the drop on them -- what is he, suicidal or something? -- and then getting into a full-blown gunfight with several hoods amongst all those pine needles.

Lethal Weapon has some similarities with another Christmas classic, Gremlins, in that it draws a lot of its negative energy from the idea that if your life sucks, it's going to suck a lot worse during the holidays. The film's most resonating scene -- the one for which a set trailer reportedly had to be ready-made at all times for whenever Mel Gibson felt like he could act the scene -- comes with Riggs being overcome by the absence of his recently-deceased wife (those South African bastards) and putting a hollow-point bullet into his 9mm and putting the 9mm in his mouth. Just as he's about to depress the trigger, you can hear Bugs Bunny shouting Christmas tidings on the television opposite, and it looks like it's all over. It's easy to overlook how good the acting is here -- Mel is really firing on all cylinders in the scene. I have no idea if he's ever done a DVD commentary for the film, but if he has I'd probably want to listen to hear what he has to say about that scene.

I was working at a movie theater in the summer of 1998, the summer Lethal Weapon 4 was released. One of my job responsibilities was to stand and wave goodbye to people as they'd leave their movies. (Armageddon came out the week before LW4, and I got a lot of mileage out of the line, "With all this waving, my Armageddon tired!"). I was excited about Lethal Weapon 4. I hadn't loved the previous installment, but Mel Gibson and Danny Glover were back, I had come to terms with the fact that Joe Pesci wasn't going anywhere, Rene Russo is about as solid a love interest as an action movie can get, I think Chris Rock is hilarious and I had heard amazing things about Jet Li. Plus, this would be the first Lethal I saw on the big screen. How could it go wrong?

Answer: In just about every conceivable way.

Lethal Weapon 3 was a mess, but it was a fun mess. LW4 isn't fun at all. It's downright boring. Everyone looks tired and uninspired (rhyme). The laughs aren't there. The action, aside from a great highway chase, is run-of-the-mill and confusingly shot. And there's a downright icky sentimental streak running through it -- a sappy side that is light years away from screenwriter Shane Black's original vision for these characters.

Watching Lethal Weapon 3 in the middle of this season full of big, bloated "threequels," it almost looks quaint. It's also -- and again, this might be due to the dreary current state of the summer blockbuster -- somewhat better than I remembered. Somewhat.

Don't get me wrong, it's a hot mess. They tried to cram way too much into this movie, which is why you get a lot of scenes of Riggs and Murtaugh coincidentally standing next to crimes as they break out. There's not a whole lot of police work going on here. Basically, wherever Riggs and Murtaugh are hanging out -- action will materialize. Witness the unbelievably unbelievable scene where Murtaugh takes Riggs to a hamburger stand and gets behind the counter to make him the world's best hamburger. Why is this scene in there? So our boys can "stumble" upon a crime in progress -- right in the middle of Los Angeles' notoriously dangerous "Hamburger Stand District." It's all pretty damn lazy.

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover should teach a class in chemistry. Their natural, lovable work remains the real draw of the series. These guys could play these roles in their sleep, and indeed there's a bit less spark in their performances this time around. The Riggs character continues his unfortunate watering down, but Glover is given a little more to chew on outside of running around yelling "Riggs!" The "8 days from retirement" bit is beyond played out, but having Murtaugh deal with aging works well for the film. Scenes like the one where Murtaugh accidentally fires his weapon in a locker room and Riggs covers for him are pretty touching.

We're back, we're bad, you're black, I'm mad!

That about sums it up.

When I mentioned that I'd be writing about this series, I was surprised by how many friends cited Lethal Weapon 2 as their favorite. It's an extremely entertaining film, but for me, it doesn't pack anywhere near the impact of the original. There's much to love about this sequel, and Mel Gibson and Danny Glover ooze chemistry once again, but I do have some issues with it.

The way the original was set up, a sequel was hardly necessary. The Riggs character had an immensely satisfying arc, and no longer wants to die. The "suicidal hero" element was the main hook of the original, so taking it away presents what must have been a real problem for screenwriter Jeffrey Boam. It's sort of like being told you have to write a Robocop movie where Robocop is no longer a robot. The best part of the original essentially had to be removed. If LW2 opens with Riggs inexplicably suicidal again, you're making an action movie about coping with depression. If it opens with Riggs upbeat and completely sane, the character will be watered down and disappointing. Boam does a pretty good job of keeping the Riggs character edgy and off-balance, but that batshit crazy quality Riggs had in the first one is sorely missed here. And, it must be noted, it's in even shorter supply later in the series.

I was technically not allowed by my parents to see R-rated movies until I was seventeen. Luckily, I had friends whose parents weren't as concerned about maintaining the innocence of their children. My best friend had an enormous collection of the action extravaganzas I craved as a boy, and many a Saturday night was spent in the company of forbidden friends like John McClane, John Rambo, and John Connor (lotta Johns). And I'll never forget the night I met Sergeants Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh.

I knew right away Lethal Weapon was special when it opened with nudity! (Keep in mind, I was about eleven). It kicks off with a half-naked girl jumping to her death and just doesn't let up from there. Lethal Weapon didn't create the "buddy movie," but, for better or worse, it helped make the genre what it is today. Lethal more than earns its place alongside the glorious Midnight Run on a very short list of the eighties' finest blends of action, character, and comedy. It's been endlessly ripped off, (and did some minor ripping off of its own -- see William Friedkin's fantastic To Live and Die in LA, released two years earlier. Even Murtaugh's immortal line -- "I'm getting too old for this shit," was used there first), but, as is the case with all rip-offs, the heart and soul tend to get forgotten. Hell, the heart and soul were forgotten as the Lethal Weapon movies went along -- but I'll get to that later in the week.

As you may have gathered from reading this site, many of the contributors here have somewhat interesting holiday rituals and practices. When I was growing up, we didn't do things the "normal" way during the rest of the year and the holidays were no exception. Sure, we did some of the regular stuff like having a tree, lights, decorations and, of course, presents. But we also had a rather interesting ritual that I don't think most people practice -- the Christmas Eve action movie marathon.

The marathon was a fun thing to do around my house on the day before Christmas when the family was there and the kids (and a few adults) need to be entertained. Six or so of the coolest and best action movies that take place during the holidays, feature the holidays in a major way or the holidays are an important part of the plot. Since in our house we didn't open presents until Christmas morning, on Christmas Eve I was content with the gifts of car chases, explosions, firefights and the general mayhem of action-movie icons John McClane, John Rambo, Martin Riggs and Batman.

So, sit back, relax, grab a cup of nog and let's watch some great Christmas action movies.

Lethal Weapon (1987) -- This great movie started the whole "buddy-cop" trend that continues to this day. From the opening scene of the film, "Jingle Bell Rock" blaring, through Riggs's (Mel Gibson) shoot-out in the Christmas tree lot until the final confrontation on Murtaugh's (Danny Glover) front lawn, this Christmas action movie delivers the goods. It's a great ride that to this day still entertains -- and although it is starting to show its age a little bit, that just adds to the fun.

Die Hard (1988) -- New York cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) shows the true meaning of "giving" during the holidays as he gives some would-be robbers, led by Hans Gruber (Alan Rickman), a taste of their own medicine when they take hostages in an office building during a Christmas party.

Not only is Die Hard a great Christmas movie, but arguably its one of the greatest action films of all time. Other movies are still trying to copy it to this day and it also spawned a new way of describing action films. For example, the movie Speed was described as "Die Hard on a bus" or Under Siege as "Die Hard on a ship." But no matter how you describe it, Willis is great as the hero and Rickman is a treat as the bad guy. Die Hard is just great fun.

Die Hard 2 (1990) -- This time McClane must battle baddies in an airport during Christmas. This one was almost as good as the first and marked the high-point of director Renny Harlin's career. Willis is again terrific as McClane and I also love the always-good Dennis Franz as the gruff but eventually overcome with Christmas spirit airport police chief. Sure, its not Die Hard but its still fun and a great way to spend some time on Christmas Eve.

Batman Returns (1992) -- Tim Burton's sequel to Batman is almost as good as the original. A little darker, a little more evil but balanced out by the fact that it takes place during the holidays. In this one Michale Keaton's Batman battles The Penguin (Danny DeVito), the best Catwoman since Julie Newmar (played by Michele Pfeiffer) and an evil business mogul (Christopher Walken) for dominion over Gotham City. Dark, campy fun.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) -- Renny Harlin's second best movie stars his then-wife Geena Davis as a housewife with amnesia and a secret she can't remember -- she's actually a trained assassin! Try to ignore some of the more glaring plot issues, suspend your disbelief and instead focus on the great action sequences, performances by Davis, my man Samuel L. Jackson and the under-rated Craig Bierko as the bad guy and decent dialog by Lethal Weapon scribe Shane Black. If you can do that, you might just enjoy yourself after all.

Reindeer Games (2000) -- I don't love Ben Affleck but in this film he's not so bad. Plus, its directed by the legendary John Frankenheimer -- who directed one of my favorite films of all time The Manchurian Candidate -- so that helps quite a bit. Even if Affleck makes fun of the movie now and almost no one watched this Christmas heist film when it was released in, of all months, February, I still like to watch it.

Sure, it has problems but its one of those movies that in many ways is so bad its good. Plus, it has the super-hot Charlize Theron in it and any movie with her can't be all-bad, right?

Turbulence (1997) -- When will the airlines ever learn? You don't transport prisoners on a plane -- at least not in the movies. After a shootout on said plane, a stewardess (Lauren Holly) must then outwit a smooth-talking serial killer (Ray Liotta) all while trying to land the plane herself after the crew dies in the shootout.

To make things worse, this all happens on Christmas Eve. Sure, this movie isn't great but watching Liotta go psycho is still great fun. Plus, Holly is pretty good in the movie and at this point in her career, pretty easy on the eyes too.

First Blood (1982) -- Like Turbulence, this is one of the more "covert" Christmas action movies we used to watch. During the film you can tell it obviously takes place during Christmas but its never explicitly mentioned during the film at all. For example, there are Christmas lights and decorations lining the streets of the town and a clearly visible Christmas Tree at the Sheriff's station.

The fact that its the holidays just adds another layer onto John Rambo's (Sylvester Stallone) problems. Not only is he a damaged man (both physically and mentally) but he's completely alone in the world. And at the worst time of the year to be alone -- Christmas.

So, those are some of my favorite Christmas action movies. What are yours?