Remember the long, drawn-out review that China's government censorship board put Mission: Impossible III through? And how it was, at long last, eventually cleared for release with just a few short cuts (most of them assumed to involve negative depictions of Shanghai)? Well, Chinese bloggers are guessing that there's one subversive message that the censors missed.

According to Chinese message boards, there's a shot in the film (thank you, pirated DVDs) in which Tom Cruise passes a nondescript wall on which is written a phone number. If you call that phone number, you reach Mr. Ba, a man who can hook you up with any forged document you need, from faked IDs to falsified college diplomas. Niiiice. Mr. Ba has apparently been interviewed online, but since no one here can read Chinese, we're left guessing what he might have said -- probably something like "Thank you, J.J. Abrams, for increasing my business 700-fold. I have to get off the phone now, because my flight for Aruba is boarding."

The only problem is that all the chatter on Chinese websites will probably alert the government to the number's presence; since the movie doesn't come out until July 20, they may still have time to either take it out, or recall the prints and push the release even further back.

As we reported last month, Mission: Impossible III has been having all sorts of problems getting approval to be released in China. Among other things, the filmmakers were accused of portraying Shanghai in a negative light (Laundry! Hanging out of windows! Can you imagine?), and the release was delayed while censors re-examined the film. Now, after unspecified cuts, the movie has a release date: July 20. As expected, the date comes after the 5-week blackout on foreign films that will accompany China's celebration of the Communist Party anniversary. In addition, since the international release date came in early May, bootleggers have had ample time to put together high-quality pirated DVDs, copies of which are surely widely available in China for just a few dollars, a situation that can't help but hurt the movie's box office prospects. That said, however, at least The Da Vinci Code is gone, so competition will be reduced.

Despite the fact that its script was approved by government censors, the release of Mission: Impossible III is facing trouble in China over concerns that the movie "tarnishes the image of Shanghai." According to Variety, the project was covered so heavily in the Chinese press while it was begin shot that it's hard to believe a single frame was photographed unnoticed -- even the ones showing "rags and underwear drying outdoors in side streets rather than of the gleaming skyscrapers of the city skyline," the scenes that are rumored to be part of the problem.

Though there is no talk of the movie being outright banned in China, it's becoming increasingly likely that delays will push its release back to late July, after the five week early-summer blackout imposed on foreign films during the national celebration of the Communist Party's anniversary. And, since by that time it will have been on screens around the world for months, high-quality, dirt-cheap bootleg DVDs of MI3 will have flooded major Chinese cities, thus dramatically reducing the size of its potential theatrical audience.

So, that's a few million more bucks the movie won't make -- which is, you know, terribly sad. Yawn. It's hard to tell how upset anyone will be over this, because though the film has disappointed at home, it's making money hand over fist abroad -- once The Da Vinci Code comes out, however, that might change.

Well, I think it's safe to add everyone at Nokia and Casio to the list of people sick to death of Tom Cruise. According to a long article in today's Hollywood Reporter, some of Mission: Impossible III's production partners are struggling to get approval of their movie-related advertising campaigns from Cruise's Cruise/Wagner production company. Because Cruise is not only the star but also a producer of the film, he has an unusual degree of control (Tom Cruise? Control? Never!) over affiliated advertising, and C/W has been nixing campaigns and products right and left, even those that don't bear his image.

The THR article focuses specifically on the struggles of Casio and Nokia, both of which are featured prominently in the film (though Nokia apparently didn't receive quite the deal they expected -- "a competitor's products wound up in the movie despite assurances that Nokia would have placement exclusivity in the telecommunications category." Dang.), and had planned to launch extensive, MI3-related advertising campaigns to coincide with the film's release. Casio, though, was denied a US release of special-edition watches by C/W, and Nokia never succeeded in getting their print ads approved.

While the article points out that many A-list actors are very careful when it comes to film-related promotions, the timing of this news doesn't do much for Cruise's badly-damaged public image. (And, just so we're clear, Tom, it's you that's done the damage -- not advertisers.)

Despite its comparatively weak open at home, Mission: Impossible III was gangbusters abroad, earning over $70 million in foreign markets. The world-wide weekend total, an estimated $118 million, is the most earned by any MI film during its opening weekend -- a fact made even more impressive by the lack of a holiday, and weather in Europe that was reportedly so gorgeous that one would think audiences would rather frolic in parks than sit in the dark with Tom Cruise. The film opened #1 in every single market in which it debuted and set several records in the process, most notably in South Korea, where its $10.6 million set a new high-water mark.

One does wonder, however, quite how much stock to put in the those records, and in the total that has Paramount crowing. After all, if a movie in a popular franchise, starring a popular actor, opens in more theaters than any other film ever has, isn't it to be expected that the movie will break some records? What would be interesting to see is what these numbers would look like if the film had opened on the same number of screens as, say, Mission: Impossible II. If someone can do some math magic and work out the approximate numbers, that would be a useful comparison.

Though Mission: Impossible III easily topped the weekend box office with $48 million from over 4000 screens -- the fourth-widest launch ever -- the film's opening is far short of both what was expected (in the $60 million range) and what the first two installments in the series made in their debuts. Whatever the reason for the relatively low open (Are people turned off by Tom Cruise? Nikki Finke is not alone in thinking so.), studios must be a little nervous about this kind of result for the summer's first "blockbuster," particularly given that the movie was fairly well reviewed.

Though it probably won't make the people at Paramount feel any better, the weekend's two other debuts were much, much worse, particularly that of Hoot. Despite opening on over 3000 screens, the Carl Hiaasen adaptation made only $3.4 million with just over $1000/screen -- barely enough to get it into the top 10 (it ended up tied for ninth with Akeelah and the Bee). An American Haunting, meanwhile, finished third with $6.4 million. Holding onto the second slot was RV, which made $11.1 million in its second week of release. Stick it and United 93 rounded out the top five, pulling in $5.5 million and $5.2 million, respectively; in its two weeks of release, United 93 is already in the black with about $20 million against a $15 million budget. The full top 10 is after the jump.

Bits and pieces for Thursday:

• According to JoBlo, Jane Fonda visited with Larry King last night, and told him that there are some conversations taking place about a sequel to Nine to Five. While this is among the worst ideas I've ever heard -- is any movie more firmly rooted in its time? -- I have to admit that I'm a sucker for Dolly Parton (Yes, I'm the one person who saw Straight Talk in the theater. Twice.), and will accept even the lamest excuse to watch her be sassy. I would totally go.

• Remember the Jason McElwain? The autistic kid who'd spent two years as a basketball manager, so the coach let him dress for a game his senior year? And he came out raining threes to the delight of his teammates, the fans, and the entire world? Well, we mentioned shortly after the game that his family was being courted by multiple drooling studios -- and now, ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner: Columbia gets to make the Jason McElwain movie.

• Curse that scientologist baby! Tom Cruise was supposed to head off today on a world-wide publicity voyage to promote Mission: Impossible III (which, let's face it, no one will even know exists if he doesn't go talk it up), but the arrival of little Suri is screwing everything up. Cruise has canceled a junket scheduled for LA today, and upcoming stops (including Paris, London, and Rome) are very much up in the air. Katie, if this movie flops, you are in such huge trouble. Couldn't you cross your legs for a few weeks, or something?

Today on the 'cast: various Men o' God use Easter sermons to speak out against Tom Hanks' new haircut; Mission: Impossible III goes global, and Mel Gibson falls victim to global warming. And have you voted for your favorite name for the podcast yet? Do it!

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Hosts
Karina Longworth

Editor
Randall Bennett

Music
Love as Laughter - I'm a bee

Format
4:51, 27.4 MB

Program
00:00 - What better way to celebrate Easter than protesting the Da Vinci Code?
02:00 - Apolcalypto delayed till Winter
02:57 - Impossible possibly (actually, for sure) debuting in Rome 10 days prior to Tribeca premiere
03:57 - Kodak bumping up the price of film

In case you can't wait the few remaining weeks until Mission: Impossible III is released for a glimpse of the madness Ethan Hunt gets into this time around (and won't be able to make any of the Exciting! Regional! premieres), the clip assault has begun. Movies Online has four new ones today, and it seem as if Paramount's current point of emphasis is that Ethan Likes Girls. You can tell because he looks at their mouths, talks to them, comes up with crazy plans to save them, and then smiles like Tom Cruise -- this must be what they meant when they said the movie would offer more details at Ethan's home life. (This one, in which he leaves his girlfriend for yet another mysterious trip, reminds me so much of the first season of Alias that you'd almost think J.J. Abrams was involved ... hey, wait a minute!)

Thursday's bit and bobs:

• One imagines that giant fireballs erupt fairly regularly on the set of Mission: Impossible III. The problem, however, is when unscheduled explosions occur, and there are unprepared stuntmen in the area, and they get burned over 60% of their bodies. One such stuntman is suing, among others, Paramount Pictures and Tom Cruise's very own production company, seeking "unspecified damages."
  

• New Line won the bidding war for the movie rights to Land of the Living. The Nicci French novel suddenly became a hot property in Hollywood when one James Ellroy pitched his own take on the story; New Line's nearly-million-dollar investment bought both the rights and Ellroy's agreement to write the screenplay. The summary of the story - which is about a "promiscuous woman" who is kidnapped and tortured, only to find that the police don't believe her story and leave her to figure things out on her own - is scary as hell, and it's safe to assume that Ellroy will make it even darker.

• A Soap, a Swedish/Danish film that earned a lot of buzz (not to mention a jury prize) at Berlin, has been picked up for North American distribution by Strand Releasing. The film explores the relationship between "an emotionally confused woman...[and] her young, pre-op transsexual neighbor"; it just made its American premiere at New York's New Directors/New Films Series, and is expected to make a quick turnaround, appearing in theaters this spring.