Madonna Tagged Articles at Cinematical

Could Madonna's Hollywood life fare any better as director? After seeing a tweet pop up from Production Weekly, I headed over to the Daily Mail to learn that Madonna has written a film called W.E. with Truth or Dare director Alex Keshishian, which she's planning to direct. This will be her second feature after the not-so-great Filth and Wisdom from 2008.

The first film was typical Madonna -- fetishes, re-appropriating iconic symbols (the Rocky Horrorish lips that graced the films poster). But this time around... The film is said to be a romantic comedy following a woman called Wally Winthrop. "The synopsis of W.E. states that Wally was 'named for her grandmother's passion' and there are fantasy and flashback scenes involving Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson who, after the Abdication, were styled the Duke and Duchess of Windsor." Wally marries a pediatrician and then, it seems, falls for a security guard.

The singer is currently getting help from the ex and trying to cast this thing and get enough star clout to get financed. Thus far, she's talked to RocknRolla names like Mark Strong and Toby Kebbell. The funny thing -- while no one seems to be recoiling from the thought of her as writer/director, they do not want her in front of the camera: "A couple of agents who represent distinguished thespians sought reassurances that Madonna was not going to act in the picture as well." The post follows: "'She would have said if she was to be in it. It's a game-changer. Some find it difficult to act opposite her. Ask Rupert Everett,' a denizen of Soho told me yesterday."

Anything is possible, but right now, I can't get images of Marie Antoinette restylized with a bipolar plot, Madonna covering all the tunes, and Wally swathed in black lace tops whilst kissing young girls for cred. You?

Like plenty of you out there, I sat down to watch Brüno over the weekend and was treated to one of the more graphic sex scenes I've had the pleasure of witnessing in a long time. But unlike most sex scenes, this one wasn't about turning on the crowd, it was about getting laughs. Now in Brüno's case, the comedic effect was a deliberate one, but it did get me thinking about sex scenes in films that have had the opposite of their intended effect. So that's why today I've put together a list of sex scenes in movies that aren't the least bit sexy.

Showgirls
Let's start off with the big dog, shall we? When it comes to ridiculous on-screen sex, it doesn't get much dumber than Showgirls. If you don't believe me, do a quick search for a list of the worst sex scenes and this Eszterhas/Verhoeven turkey is usually the hands down winner -- and rightfully so. When it comes to low points, there really is too much to choose from, but the highlights include Elizabeth Berkley flailing about like an electrocuted dolphin while her partner, Kyle MacLachlan, is busy making 'barf faces' (which I suppose were meant to be ecstasy). So watch the clip in it's entirety here and see if you can make it to the end without bursting into laughter.

After the jump: more laughably bad sex scenes...

Is there a more important year for a girl than when she turns 16? It's the first time we start to decide what kind of woman we want to be. Now there is no shortage of examples coming at us from every side, and any girl worth her salt starts to work her way through the categories pretty quickly, right? I want to be the smart girl, the pretty girl, the popular girl; every option is open. For some of us, sweet 16 meant tiaras and coming out parties, but for me, 1991 was the year I learned that I wanted to be a bad girl.

In the summer of 1991, I was stranded in small town Florida for 3 months with little to do except hang out at the mall - you can only wander through Spencer Gifts so many times before catatonia sets in. Instead, I spent my nights at the movies. Now obviously I didn't have time to see everything, but for me; 1991 boiled down to three films: T2, Madonna's Truth or Dare, and Thelma and Louise. So what makes them so special? These were the films that opened up a world of possibilities to my sixteen year old psyche; suddenly I realized I could be a foul-mouthed Fashionista, a feminist rebel, or even a bad-ass savior of humanity.

5/3 -- One Good Cop // Rich Girl
The first week of the summer season was a particularly uneventful one. I mean, did anyone go to the movies this weekend? I will admit to watching Michael Keaton's One Good Cop on VHS, but I'm afraid I stayed home that week.

Here at the Indie Spotlight, we treat your multiplex woes with a healthy dose of limited-release independent flicks. Being an indie film doesn't automatically make it better than a mainstream movie -- but if it's bad, at least you know it didn't cost $100 million to make. Frugality is important in these trying economic times.

It's a rather light week for indies, with just four for our perusal: The Elephant King, Filth and Wisdom, Tru Loved, and What Just Happened. There's also Morning Light, a documentary about competitive open-sea sailing, which, while not an indie (it's from Disney), is opening on a limited number of screens. Cinematical's Jeffrey M. Anderson has a review here.

And now, the rundown!

What Just Happened
What it is: Barry Levinson directs an all-star cast (Robert De Niro, Bruce Willis, Stanley Tucci, John Turturro) in this Hollywood satire about a fading producer.
What they're saying: Cinematical's Scott Weinberg gave it a lukewarm review at Sundance, basically saying that if you're a big movie buff who already knows how Hollywood works, there won't be much new to laugh at. At Rotten Tomatoes, the reviews are 2-to-1 in favor of the flick.
Where it's playing: A few dozen screens in several major markets: New York, L.A., San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, and Phoenix.
More info: The official site has a complete list of theaters, as well as where it's opening next.

The Elephant King
What it is: A drama about two American brothers sexing their way through Thailand one summer.
What they're saying: All four reviews at Rotten Tomatoes are scathing, calling it naive and desperate. But Variety's review, for some reason not yet posted at RT, has high praise for the acting and says the movie "deserves to find an audience."
Where it's playing: New York City (Angelika Film Center).
More info: The official site.

The most obvious thing one can say about Filth and Wisdom is that it's the directorial debut of Madonna. And the most surprising thing one can say about it is that, for all its narrative and aesthetic shortcomings, it's not half-bad. Certainly, Madonna tackles what she knows, which in this case is a collection of related stories linked by the overriding message that no profound knowledge can be attained without degradation first being experienced, a sentiment the Material Girl has been pushing in one form or another at least since 1992's Erotica and its infamous companion tome Sex. If embracing your inner skank is the path to enlightenment, then Madonna must now be the Dalai Lama. And yet despite the juvenile maxims spouted by Eugene Hutz - the lead singer of gypsy-punk outfit Gogol Bordello (which provides much of the soundtrack), here playing a variation of himself named A.K. - and the sometimes blandly functional cinematography by Tim Maurice-Jones, there's raggedy charm to this misshapen film, a genuine, enticing verve that helps overshadow the dull leadenness of Hutz-spouted platitudes like his title-explaining gem, "Without filth, there is no wisdom."

A rumor is just a rumor, until it becomes fact. Whenever I see one of these sorts of stories, my inner core of movie fandom shudders. What if THIS is the one that's not a rumor?

The Daily Mail claims that Madonna is looking to remake Casablanca -- not as a copy-cat Psycho redo, but modernized and set in Iraq. Their studio source says: "She is still determined to make it in the movies. She and her representatives have been touting around a project which is a remake of Casablanca. The reception has been lukewarm to say the least. No one can understand why she wants to redo what many people consider the greatest film of all time." Maybe because she's crazy? Perhaps Swept Away ... swept away more than just her remaining movie cred.

To top this off, she also wants to star in it, regardless of the fact that's she's nearing the big 5-0, and Ingrid Bergman was much, much younger. Then again, this is supposed to be modernized, so anything could happen! (If a studio is nuts enough to say yes. There's a good chance every studio will run, and keep this just a rumor, but all you need is one interested person with enough money...)

Casablanca should stay in the ranks of history, and especially away from Madonna. However, what I would be interested in seeing is daughter Isabella taking on one of her mother's iconic roles, even in a simple short film.

What do you think? Are you super-excited about seeing Casablanca: Iraq Style?

Ever wished you could run around in Superman's outfit, or be a wedding-day virgin (cough) like Madonna? Now's your big chance. BBC reports that in Las Vegas March 15 and 16, a slew of items from movies and pop culture will be auctioned off.

The collection, privately owned by developer Anthony Pulgliese, is valued at over $5 million. Personally, I can't fathom having $5 million just sitting around waiting for me to spend it on a bunch of collectible stuff, no matter how cool it is, but maybe some of your folks have a spare million or two down in your couch cushions, and you'd like to spend it buying memorabilia (side note: if that description fits you, email me before you head to the auction ... I know some indie filmmakers out there who could use that money for a better purpose ...).

Anyhow, in case you're into collecting, here's a list of the items that will be up for grabs. If you were going to attend this auction and had the cash to spare, which would you bid on?

[Hat tip: Movie City News ]

Madonna's directorial debut, Filth and Wisdom, which is playing the Berlinale in the artsy "Panorama" section, opened today, and our good friends over at indieWIRE had one of the few one-on-one interviews Her Madonna-ness granted to her film fest subjects. indieWIRE reports that buzz from folks coming out of the screening was (some might say surprisingly) mostly positive.

The film, originally envisioned as a short but expanded to 85 minutes, tells the tale of "three friends desperate to better their lot in life, who must duel with the reality of their circumstances." There's A.K., a would-be rock superstar who keeps things afloat while waiting for his ship to come in by turning tricks as a cross-dresser; Holly, who trains as a ballerina by day while working as a stripper at night to survive; and Juliette, who works in a pharmacy while saving money to live her dream of moving to Africa to help children in need.

Madonna chose to show her film at Berlin and, according to the indieWIRE piece, has no plans for further fest screenings. Instead, the film's team is exploring distribution options, "both traditional and non-traditional," so you may be able to see it sooner rather than later. In the meantime, you can check out indieWIRE's excellent writeup of their Madonna interview, and see a sneak-peek three-minute scene from the film. Added bonus for all you guys out there (well, girls too, let's not make gender assumptions here) -- most of the clip is a scene of strippers practicing pole dancing. In, you know ... an artsy way.

Pinch me, I must be dreaming -- Madonna directed a movie?! And it will receive its world premiere at the Berlin Film Festival?! Will wonders never cease? The Associated Press is reporting that Filth and Wisdom "will screen in the Panorama section, outside the main competition." A check of the festival web site turns up this press release, which confirms the news: "Music star Madonna will give her directorial debut alongside the works of underground star Bruce LaBruce and TEDDY winner 2007, Zero Chou from Taiwan."

Madonna was rumored to be directing a film entitled Blade to the Heat, inspired by a 1959 boxing match which resulted in the death of one of the combatants after he slurred the other's sexuality. That project may still be mired in development. Filth and Wisdom apparently stars Stephen Graham, Richard E. Grant and Eugene Hutz. Her official site says that she directed a television ad earlier this year, so she may be gearing up for more projects to come. Production on Filth and Wisdom, described as a low budget, 30-minute comedy possibly based on some of Madonna's own life experiences, began in May.

The IMDb page lists Tim Maurice-Jones as cinematographer; he previously worked with Madonna's hubby Guy Ritchie on Revolver and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Dan Cadan is listed as the writer; he's also worked with Ritchie for years, steadily moving his way up the production chain.

In general, Madonna has not been well served on the big screen, though I have a soft spot for her role in Desperately Seeking Susan. I'm very curious to see how Filth and Wisdom turns out. Will Madonna become a director to reckon with? The Berlin Film Festival runs from February 7-17.

I remember when folks like Madonna first had a kid, I wondered whether they would follow in her footsteps and head into show business as a sex-crazed tramp. I actually played a game once with my friends: Whose Kid Will Turn Out the Most F**ked Up? These days, kids of well known actors and actresses are doing pretty good; most notably Will Smith's son Jaden was great in last year's The Pursuit of Happyness. But Smith was never known as a tabloid whore, and so folks like Madonna, Britney Spears and, God forbid, eventually Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan -- what will their kids grow up to be? Well, according to Hollywood.com (via a story in The Sun), Madonna's oldest daughter Lourdes has apparently been offered a role in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. The sources indicate that Madonna is currently considering an offer made by Warner Bros.

Lourdes, who's 11-years-old and nicknamed Lola, is the daughter of Madonna and fitness trainer Carlos Leon (ya know, the guy before Guy Ritchie). In addition to Potter, she's also said to be up for a starring role in a Warner Bros. kids' musical "similar to Bugsy Malone." Here's what a tipster told The Sun (not the most reliable source in the world): "An executive at Warners wanted to cast Lola in the last Potter film and has renewed his interest for the next movie. Lola would love to do it--she is a huge fan." It's not known what part she was offered, or whether that part went to someone else (keep in mind, an official press release with the full cast was unveiled earlier in the week). Could Lourdes become the next Potter star? And, if so, would she put on a fake British accent like her mom?