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With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen approaching the $600 million mark at the box office, making it the second film behind The Dark Knight to do so this fast, we thought it might be fun to take a look back at how this all began. Obviously we're already well aware of the ongoing feud-of-sorts between Michael Bay and Megan Fox following a little he said/she said full of fun, moronic quotes (get caught up here and here).

Now, though, Page Six tells us just how Megan Fox nabbed the role in the first place. According to them, when Michael Bay auditioned her for the first Transformers, he actually made her wash his Ferrari while he filmed the whole thing. Yup. She washed his car. His Ferrari. While he filmed her. And that's how she got the role in Transformers. If you need anymore proof of just how perverted Hollywood is sometimes, look no further than Mr. Michael Bay. Oh, but it gets better ...

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Seems like a small war is starting to brew between Michael Bay and Megan Fox, after the latter said some unflattering things about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, telling the Early Show recently that she still doesn't understand the movie and that it's apparently made for geniuses. Bay, of course, is not one to take criticism lightly -- especially from some girl who was nobody until he dropped her into the first Transformers movie.

Speaking to The Wall Street Journal about the situation with Fox, he says, "Well, that's Megan Fox for you. She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do. You roll your eyes when you see statements like that and think, "Okay Megan, you can do whatever you want. I got it." But I 100% disagree with her. Nick Cage wasn't a big actor when I cast him, nor was Ben Affleck before I put him in "Armageddon." Shia LaBeouf wasn't a big movie star before he did "Transformers"-and then he exploded. Not to mention Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, from "Bad Boys." Nobody in the world knew about Megan Fox until I found her and put her in "Transformers." I like to think that I've had some luck in building actors' careers with my films."

We shouldn't worry whether this war of words will hurt either person's involvement in a third Transformers movie because according to Bay that's not happening anytime soon. On a third Transformers film, he says, "I just want to take some time off. It's been almost three years that I've devoted myself entirely to this world of robots. At some point, enough is enough-and I literally carried this movie on my back. ... I don't know who [would] want to take on my shoes with this franchise. We might just take a year down."

The numbers are in. Moviegoers worldwide voted with their hard-earned dollars (and euros and other monetary currencies) and elected to go see Michael Bay's Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Box office receipts placed the sequel at the top of this year's heap o' blockbusters, and by the time all is said and done, the film could rank among the top box office earners of all time. But why did so many people go buy tickets? Why did you?

As pointed out by Eugene Novikov, Transformers 2 "received the most hysterically negative reviews of 2009." Only 21% of reviews by critics at Rotten Tomatoes were positive. (Surprisingly, it fared better at the pickier MetaCritic, with 36% positive.) Eugene acknowledged that it's the kind of movie that defines "critic-proof." So, obviously, critical opinion had no bearing on the box office. Why did this movie hit so big? In his analysis, industry observer David Poland felt that producer Don Murphy and director Michael Bay should be celebrated, the former "for truly believing in this concept being a big home run" and the latter "for understanding the images that will draw massive numbers of people based on 2 minutes or less of images." So was it all about the concept and the trailers?

Marketing obviously plays a huge role in determining how a movie opens, as does, to a somewhat lesser extent, the cast and director. But what was it about Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that pushed your button(s), elevating it to "must see" status? Take our poll and let us know!

We've all been down that bumpy road before: You're sitting across from a friend who's just dying to talk about last night's [insert TV show] episode and/or the movie they saw over the weekend, but you're deathly afraid of them spoiling the whole thing. And even though you tell them not to spoil it while they continue to pretend as if they're slowly stepping around all the details ("Yes, I know, but let me just tell you about this one scene ...") you know they're about to spoil the whole darn thing anyway. Know what I'm talking about?. Are you there with me? Happened to you over the weekend, didn't it? If so, I'm sorry.

Anyway, those nutjobs over at College Humor recently debuted a hilarious sketch called Spoiler Alert. Essentially it's the scene I described above, but with an elite team of special ops sent in to stop the spoiler from ever happening. And then pretend the entire thing was directed by Michael Bay. I shall say no more ... . (And if you know someone who's spoiling TV shows and movies, please contact your local spoiler alert team immediately.)

Watch the video after the jump

With Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen absolutely demolishing the box office this week (it took in another $28 million on Thursday), Variety reports that DreamWorks is looking to pick up the film rights to the first book in an as-yet-unpublished six-book series for Michael Bay to produce and potentially direct. The book, titled I Am Number Four, tells of a group of earthbound alien teens who escaped their planet just as another hostile species was destroying it. Now, as they attempt to settle in and build new lives for themselves on earth, the main character discovers that he is being hunted by the same enemy that blew up his home planet.

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I wouldn't recommend actually sitting through Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to anyone. But in the abstract -- after you've been through the horrifying experience -- there are parts of the film that are so bizarre that the whole thing starts to look like the work of some sick, Andy Kaufman-esque jokester genius. And then it becomes kind of interesting. I mean, some of this stuff can't be for real... Can it?

1. Megan Fox's first appearance. See above. That is the first shot of Megan Fox in the film, as she works on a motorcycle in her family's garage while taking a call from boyfriend Shia LaBoeuf. Makes sense, right? Or do you not typically mount your motorcycle in that fashion, wearing knee-high boots and denim hot pants, to do some body work? If not, why not? Hysterical -- though I have to say that Michael Bay's leering at Fox throughout the movie eventually becomes a little uncomfortable. And if you didn't think it was possible for a director to leer at his star with the camera, Revenge of the Fallen proves you wrong.

2. The enormous Bad Boys II poster in Sam's dorm room. If it just appeared on someone's wall at a point in the film, that would be one thing -- a little arrogant, but not really notable. That's not what happens here. The poster for Bay's Bad Boys II -- presumably belonging to Sam's motormouth techie roommate -- is enormous, and fills the screen on at least two occasions. The self-regard is astounding. Has a director ever put in product placement for his other work in a movie before?

3. The obsession with things humping other things. It doesn't really matter what things. First, we see dogs going at it. Why? Because humping dogs are funny, that's why. Then, later, a miniature decepticon grinds against Megan Fox's leg. Why? I have no earthly idea. I guess Bay or his producers thought this would amuse someone, somewhere. Gotta spend $200 million somehow.

Us critics, we don't hate Michael Bay. Well, not all of us, and not all the time. I wasn't a fan of his Transformers, nor Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and I haven't watched The Rock or Armageddon in their entirety in years, but I distinctly enjoyed 2005's The Island during its ill-fated theatrical run (gross: $35 million, cost: between three and four times that), and I still do as a decent sci-fi/action matinee outing.

But how?, I've been asked. It does after all bear every other trademark of a Michael Bay outing: explosions, rampant product placement, blatant racial stereotypes, explosions, perpetual dusk lighting, explosions, and a female lead constantly flattered by her wardrobe (yeah, a real woe-is-us scenario).

If you don't know your Megatron from your Optimus Prime, join the club! Most giant robots look all the same to me, and the first Transformers movie felt like a comedown for Michael Bay after the gleeful insanity of Bad Boys II. Still, I've gotten a kick out ot reading a few of the reviews, like the one penned by our own Todd Gilchrist, as well as the harsh critical takedowns by Roger Ebert and Manohla Dargis. And now I'm wondering how Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen will perform at the box office. Can it possibly recoup its huge production and marketing budget? How big is big?

The movie is off to a running start, earning an estimated $16 million from midnight screenings last night, according to Variety. That's less than The Dark Knight's $18.5 million last year, but Variety notes the Batman flick "had the advantage of opening on a Friday" and that Transformers 2 had "the best midnight run ever for a movie opening on a Wednesday." Transformers made $8.8 million on its opening night (Tuesday at 12:01 a.m.) in 2007 and went on to earn $146.6 million in its first six full days of screenings, including the July 4 holiday, per Box Office Mojo.

The record to beat for the first five days of release is $203.7 million, set by The Dark Knight. Can Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen get anywhere near that record? Take our poll and let us know: How much will it make in its opening five-day weekend?

As a high-school graduation present to myself in 1993, I stayed up all night watching the original Star Wars trilogy on video. When the Extended Edition of The Return of the King arrived on DVD, I camped out on my couch and sat through all three Lord of the Rings films in their longest versions, one after the other. And for two separate retrospective assignments in anticipation of their recent big-screen rebirths, I endured all ten Star Trek movies and all eleven Friday the 13ths. But I can honestly say that as a film critic and lifelong cinephile, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen may be the most movie I have ever experienced.

Michael Bay, condensing the cumulative total of the spectacle from all of his seven previous films into one unwieldy, gargantuan opus, has exceeded even the possibilities of sequel-driven "moreness," combining his own muscular, high-gloss sensibility with the conventions of blockbusters past, present, and probably future to create a monolithic action masterpiece that feels destined to be the biggest movie of all time.