The Hollywood Reporter has announced that Josh Lucas will star in Tell-Tale, a psychological thriller directed by Michael Cuesta. Cuesta directed two very good indies -- L.I.E. and Twelve and Holding, and has helmed episodes of two of my favorite shows -- Six Feet Under and Dexter. The film's producers include big-time directors/brothers Tony Scott (Top Gun) and Ridley Scott -- who is currently tearing up the box office with the terrific American Gangster. The script was written by Dave Callaham, who also penned the video game adaptation Doom. (Had to look that up because THR managed to mention every aspect of the film but the screenwriter -- see why writers feel under-appreciated?)

Tell-Tale is a contemporary adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe's classic story "The Tell-Tale Heart," (which was also reimagined as a hilarious Simpsons episode -- "Lisa's Rival"). Lucas will play a "single father whose recently transplanted heart leads him on a frantic search to find the donor's killer before a similar fate befalls him." I love the Poe story, so I'm up for this new take. Lucas was rumored to be playing Captain Pike in the upcoming Star Trek film, but we learned this morning that's not the case. What I really think Lucas should be doing is a movie where he, Matthew McConaughey, and Bradley Cooper try to tell each other apart for two hours.

True! -- nervous -- very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am! but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses -- not destroyed -- not dulled them. Above all was the sense of hearing acute. After dealing with Edgar Allan Poe's literary Tell-Tale Heart, I wonder if the narrator's acute hearing can pick up this piece of news. The Hollywood Reporter has posted that Ridley and Tony Scott, through Scott Free Productions, is cooking up a modern-day re-imagining of Poe's classic tale of loud hearts and floorboards.

It's said to be a psychological thriller on the backdrop of modern science, which makes me wonder if they're going the so-hot-right-now repo route and putting that loud, beating heart in the narrator. Then again, they've taken the "heart" part out of the title, so maybe they're going for a different organ/appendage. A stomping foot? A wiggling tongue? Whatever the case, Lisa Wilson, head of worldwide sales for Hyde Park, says: "Ridley and Tony are great storytellers. We feel that Tell-Tale will differentiate itself from other genre fare in its sophistication, quality, and commerciality. It is a thrilling blend of the supernatural and psychological mixed with riveting suspense and action."

So, what sophisticated pen could be behind this? How about Doom screenwriter Dave Callaham? This is where I really start to worry about the project. Sure, he might have written one hell of a script, and it'll be the sort of movie to knock all of our socks off -- but Doom isn't something that gives me confidence. His only other writing credit: the upcoming film called The Horseman. As for director, that honor has gone to Six Feet Under and Dexter director Michael Cuesta. So, what are the chances now that Michael C. Hall jumps on board?

As I stare at the picture of Brad Pitt above, knowing that, to some women, he is considered the hottest piece of hot to ever grace the planet Hot, I question what it actually takes to be that kind of man. A real man. With a gun at my side and an open field of opportunity before me.

I mean, is there a "Guide to Becoming a Real Man" manual that I can buy? If I don't follow the manual strictly, does that mean I'm a fake man? And if I did turn out to be a fake man, could I skip work and use that as an excuse? "Well, see sir, I'm not a real man. I'm fake. Yeah, even if I did come into work, nothing real would get done. Everyone knows a fake man cannot do real work. Right?"

Regardless of what your definition of a "real man" is, the following films all feature men with real problems. Okay, one of them is about teenagers, but the director is a real maniac -- so that counts. I think. While I go off to try and figure out whether or not a real man is allowed to crave his Mom's cupcakes, how about you stick here and check out the following real trailers? Welcome to this week's Trailer Park ... 

 

Michael Cuesta, who exploded into the consciousness of the movie industry in 2001 with L.I.E. (what The Hollywood Reporter likes to call his "acclaimed pedophile drama") hasn't had a film in distribution since, though his Twelve and Holding was seen at a few festivals last year. Over the past four years, he spent some time directing Six Feet Under, nourishing a dark, morbid streak that appears to have influenced his choice of a follow-up to L.I.E.: Cuesta will direct the horror thriller Shiver for Dimension Films.

Shiver tells the story of "a group of New Year's Eve revelers who get in a car crash and are stranded in a Minnesota snowstorm." So far so good, right? Not so scary - some odd accents, maybe, but nothing even drunk partiers can't handle. Where the horror comes in, however, is when, in their search for shelter, the strandees happen upon the home of "a widowed doctor obsessed with torture as a scientific study." Yikes. And what makes this story even more creepy is that, without any explanation whatsoever, it's described as "inspired by true events." Excuse me now while I run out of the room in terror.