Mr. Woodcock Tagged Articles at Cinematical

In the haze of a New Year and the Christmas rush a recent memory, you can't expect many really great DVDs to hit the stands. So, I'm going to cheat a little and give you one great spoof, and the lesser of a few evils.

Family Guy -- Blue Harvest Special Edition

One of the best spoofs of recent years came by way of television screens rather than movie screens. Last September, Family Guy started off their sixth season with Blue Harvest -- a spoof of Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, using the fake working title for Return of the Jedi. The power goes out at the Griffin's home, so Peter begins to tell a story, which just so happens to be one uber-famous space flick. You really can't ask for much more in spoof -- Lois as Leia, Quagmire as C-3PO, and the best -- Stewie as Darth Vader. It's also got lots of pop culture references, as the show is apt to do, from the fourth Doctor Who, to a cameo by the famous Griswolds, played by Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo.

As far as DVD features go, you can get the wimpy, plain edition, or the super-jam-packed Special Edition. Believe it or not, this edition has features that include a commentary by Seth MacFarlane, a conversation with George Lucas, a "Making of" featurette, animatics, a Something, Something, Something Dark Side teaser, Star Wars clips, and Blue Harvest's fight scene in 3D, PLUS -- a t-shirt, 3D glasses, trading cards, and a booklet.

Buy the Special Edition DVD


Mr. Woodcock

On the plus side, this flick stars the likes of Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott, and Susan Sarandon. On the negative side, the flick was ravaged by critics, getting a paltry 14% rating. (Which is still much better than another film out this week -- Good Luck Chuck -- which got an abysmal 3%.) As the story goes, John (Scott) was a chubby kid tormented by his junior high gym teacher, Mr. Woodcock (Thornton). Much to his horror, years later he discovers that his single mom is going to marry the ball-wielding bastard. The strangest thing about this comedy -- it was directed by the same guy who helmed Lars and the Real Girl -- Craig Gillespie. How he can have such polar opposite examples of success at the very same time is beyond me.

As for the DVD, it isn't bare-bones. You've got a couple of specials to feast on -- deleted scenes, a "Making of" featurette, and "P.E. Trauma Tales."

Check out Scott Weinberg's Review | Buy the DVD

Other New DVD Releases (January 15)

Persuasion
Good Luck Chuck
The Naked Prey -- Criterion Collection
Saving Sarah Cain
An Affair to Remember (50th Anniversary Edition)
Alex Haley's Queen
Post-War Kurosawa Box - Eclipse from Criterion
Suburban Girl

Check out Peter Martin's Indies on DVD and for even more new releases.

Apologies for the late posting this week. All I'll say is that it was due to events involving over-the-counter pain killers, Indian cough syrup, and pepper spray. Or maybe that's just something I stole from an upcoming movie synopsis. Guess you'll never know, unless you're big into synopses. Either way, congratulations to our Mr. Woodcock winners from last week's contest listed below. Being so congratulatory all the time is boring, though, so I'd like to call out last week's worst caption as well: "These captions are never funny." Not only was it totally non-constructive, but the captioner didn't even use double quotes around it (I added for effect).

1. "Have you heard of The Shins? Listen to this song, it'll change your life." -- Philip G.

2. "Jock itch. You?" -- Todd G.

3. "So... still got that Bull Durham/Nuts About Sports thing going on or am I twenty years too late?" -- Matthew K.

See full image and all captions

This week we've got a photo featuring your favorite actress (no matter what you say), Amanda Bynes, in your new favorite sorority comedy (ditto) Sydney White. Not your cup of tea? Than have some fun with it, be funny, and prove last week's worst caption winner wrong. Our three favorite caption writers will win Amanda Bynes-autographed posters and a mini mirror (to look at yourself in front of your new autographed poster, obviously). Good luck!

UPDATE: WINNERS ANNOUNCED! Click Here

Shoot 'Em Up may not have been a smash at the box office (at this point it might struggle to match the gross of Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot), but it provided us plenty of laughs with last week's Insert Caption contest. Still, while the film may be cartoonishly violent and slightly satirical, there's a strong social message at the heart of it: Guns don't kill people, Clive Owen does. Hundreds, thousands, maybe even cajillions of them. Congrats to our winners below, you've got a hat, t-shirt and shot glass (get it?) on the way.

1. "What happened next was completely logical." -- Jordan M.

2. "Look... I'm hungry and you're hungry, it is an unfortunate situation. But there is no reason we can't share these baby bottles." -- Tom O.

3. "You know, if it weren't for those colored baby bottles over there, this would totally be a cliche." -- Bob M.

See full image and all captions

This week we have a photo from another film with some stirring social commentary, Mr. Woodcock, which I believe was originally scheduled to release in 1993. Susan Sarandon flaunts her liberalism by playing a woman who marries a gym teacher (Billy Bob Thornton), much to the chagrin of her son Stifler (Seann William Scott). In the spirit of Fashion Week, writers of our three favorite captions will win various items from the limited edition Mr. Woodcock clothing line. Good luck!

UPDATE: WINNERS ANNOUNCED! Click Here

Someone call Stephen Hawking and find out if we're in some kind of time warp, because a western was the number one movie in America last weekend. That certainly hasn't happened for awhile. Russell Crowe and Christian Bale's remake of 3:10 to Yuma took top honors, pushing another remake -- Rob Zombie's Halloween -- back to number 2. After being out for several weeks, Superbad and The Bourne Ultimatum are still clinging to the top five like William Shatner clutching his hairpiece in a high wind. Here's the breakdown:

1. 3:10 to Yuma: $14 million
2. Halloween: $9.5 million.
3. Superbad: $7.5 million.
4. Shoot 'Em Up: $5.7 million.
5. The Bourne Ultimatum: $5.6 million.

What's happening this week? We've got vengeance, giant lizards and traumatic memories of gym class. At my house we call that Tuesday. Here's what's coming out this weekend:

The Brave One
What's It All About: Jodie Foster stars as a victim of a brutal assault that leaves her boyfriend dead. Not believing the police will be able to solve the case, she sets out to avenge the crime herself.
Why It Might Do Well: Oscar-winner Foster is joined by Oscar-nominated Terrence Howard and Emmy-nominated Naveen Andrews (he's very cool on Lost), making for a cast worth watching.
Why It Might Not Do Well: Kevin Bacon's similarly themed Death Sentence died at the box office (proving that revenge is NOT a dish best served with bacon) so The Brave One may suffer a similar fate.
Number of Theaters: 2,700
Prediction: $15 million

Dragon Wars
What's It All About: Ancient prophecies are fulfilled and big nasty beasties with scales and pointy teeth lay waste to Los Angeles.
Why It Might Do Well: With all the buzz generated by the Cloverfield trailer (a.k.a. 1-18-08) it seems the public is in the mood for some kaiju-style devastation.
Why It Might Not Do Well: No star power to speak of, but then that never stopped Godzilla and his scaly pals.
Number of Theaters: 2,000
Prediction: $7 million

Mr. Woodcock
What's It All About: Seann William Scott (he who will always be Stifler) learns to his horror that his mother is about to marry Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton), the sadistic gym teacher from his childhood.
Why It Might Do Well: Balls of Fury -- another film with a lame double entendre title that refers to male genitalia -- made it into the top five last week, so why not this one?
Why It Might Not Do Well: This looks a lot like Thornton's character from School For Scoundrels, and I've rarely seen Scott stray far from the character he played in American Pie. I don't need more of either.
Number of Theaters: 2,200
Prediction: $8 million

The predictions are getting tougher each week as surefire blockbusters become fewer and farther between. Here's how I think this coming weekend will go.
1. The Brave One
2. 3:10 to Yuma
3. Mr. Woodcock
4. Dragon Wars
5. Halloween

Participation in our weekly box office competition was down last week. Come on, people, don't shy away just because the game got more challenging. Here's last week's results:

1. Bubba8193: 16
2. Ted W: 12
3. Matt: 10
4. Micah Claire: 8
5. Anna07: 7
5. Porcalina: 7
5. Gregory Rubinstein: 7
6. Ray: 4

Here's how the competition works:
Please post your prediction in the comments section below before 5:00PM on Saturday. One point for every top five movie correctly named, two points for every correct placement, and one extra point for the top movie.

I have a special rule when it comes to Tim Allen: unless it's a sequel to Galaxy Quest, I will not see any movie starring the former Home Improvement star. I know I'm not alone in having such a rule. Nobody I know likes Allen or the majority of his movies (Quest is the exception for most, it seems). But a lot of people apparently love his work and so Disney will continue to employ his comedic "talent". Obviously, he was partially the draw for this year's shockingly huge Wild Hogs, which was big enough to get Disney going on a sequel.

The latest picture the studio has attached Allen to is called Yosemite Three, which was greenlit based on a pitch from writers Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert (The Wayne Brady Show). The idea has Allen and two others playing AWOL corporate employees who hide out in a bar while their co-workers head off on a mandated hike through Yosemite National Park. These lazy guys are eventually reported missing by the hikers and become the subjects of a popular news story. Whether or not the trio has access to a television and knows about their status is not reported. In case you want further confirmation that this movie will suck, though, it is being produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman, who together gave us the remake The Shaggy Dog.

Carnes and Gilbert are a hot duo in Hollywood right now, despite the fact that they haven't yet had success on the big screen. Of course, this is only because none of the movies they've written have been released. The first will be Mr. Woodcock, which we told you about in October), arriving in the fall. Then there is the "Untitled Man vs. Nature" film that used to be called Furry Vengeance, starring Samuel L. Jackson and Jeremy Piven. They've also got two projects that are not yet in production: Stalker, A Love Story, which will star Owen Wilson, and The Worst Man. I nominate Allen to be the titular star of the latter.