Yesterday, Jeff Wells over at Hollywood Elsewhere put up the poster for the new comedy My Best Friend's Girl, starring Kate Hudson, Dane Cook, Jason Biggs and Alec Baldwin. The poster (which premiered online earlier this summer) is boring in the extreme, making the film look like your typical snoozerific rom-com, and the digital altering on the photo makes everyone involved look rather ... freakish.

My first reaction on seeing the poster was, "Boy, somebody's screwing up the marketing on this film," quickly followed by "Hey, I don't remember Dane Cook's complexion looking quite so dewy-fresh ... "

I've seen the red-band trailer, which is actually pretty funny, if you can overlook the more misogynistic elements (or at least, in my own case, overcome the feminist tendency to be immediately annoyed by blow-job jokes) , and the film being marketed in that trailer and the film being promoted on this poster are not the same film. Not that it looks like something I'd choose to see over a good indie flick, but if I wanted a lightweight comedy film, and I'd already seen Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express, and couldn't find anything else to do here in Seattle on a nice day, I'd maybe see this.

Remember those lines in your high school yearbook that claimed so and so was most likely to do such and such? You know, like most likely to succeed, most likely to be famous, most likely to be the target of a senatorial investigation. That's the angle were going with today as we look at five recent trailers with an eye for what they're most likely to accomplish.

The Spirit
This one is the movie most likely to have people saying "who the hell is The Spirit." This is a character with a long and illustrious history in the world of comics (check out his Wikipedia entry for the full story) who was created by one of the acknowledged masters of the form, but outside of the comics niche, most people have never heard of him. To the best of my knowledge, the only time the character appeared in another medium was when Sam Jones of Flash Gordon fame played the him in a failed TV pilot in 1987. This film version is directed by Frank Miller and his Sin City style is very much in evidence. I like the look, and I like the fact that Miller has The Spirit leaping off the title logo as he often did in the comics. Here's what Elisabeth thought of it.

Sea of Dust
This is the film most likely to give people Grindhouse flashbacks, as long as you see the version of the trailer that's up on Youtube or the one at upcominghorrormovies.com. The preview has the intentionally worn and scratched look consistent with what Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino did with Grindhouse. Not exactly an original idea, but it looks cool and it certainly got my attention. Oddly, the version shown on the film's official site doesn't have the weathered look. This period horror flick is an homage to both the classic Hammer horror films and the works of Italian scare maestro Mario Bava (there's a scene with a dank dungeon hallway lit with multi-colored lights that's pure Bava). The film stars Tom Savini as the villainous Prester John whose evil threatens the residents of a small village, with Hammer films alumnus Ingrid Pitt (The Vampire Lovers, Countess Dracula) also starring. I'm still a bit hazy on the plot even after reading the synopsis at the official site, but I love Hammer and Bava, so I have to see this one.

Here I was thinking that the trailer for My Best Friend's Girl was quite possibly the unfunniest thing I had ever had the "pleasure" of sitting through. Then, I stumbled across the trailer for College (see above). Directed Deb Hagen, College is a teen comedy about three friends (who appear as if they were discovered at a Superbad look-a-like convention) on a weekend getaway scouting colleges. In between beer bongs, the boys are recruited by a rowdy fraternity and find love with three girls that are ridiculously out of their league. From then on it's recycled gags from every R-rated comedy you can think of since Bluto first shouted "Toga!"

Drake Bell, Andrew Caldwell, and Kevin Covais star as the three buddies (and here is a little fun fact: Covais was a goody-two shoes American Idol hopeful back in 2006). MGM has slated the film for an August 29th release, which is probably a good idea because it is a relatively quiet time in the summer blockbuster season (the only competition will be Babylon A.D. and Vicky Cristina Barcelona). Judging from the trailer, College is going to need all the help (and free beer) it can get.

The trailer for My Best Friend's Girl (originally known as "Bachelor No. 2"), starring Kate Hudson and Dane Cook, is now online, and the only word that comes to mind is "monstrosity". Why don't you take a look at it up top. Go ahead, I'll wait here.

Are you as horrified as I am? Normally I prefer not to inflict my negativity about upcoming releases on you; if all I have to contribute is whining, I try to leave the blogging to someone else. But I couldn't pass this up. What we seem to have here is: a) the ten-millionth iteration of the plot where X starts a relationship with Y on a bet or a job but ends up falling in love; b) starring Kate Hudson, the reigning queen of the nondescript rom-com (at least Matthew McConaughey is nowhere to be found); c) co-starring Dane Cook, whose very presence is the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard, as a professional a**hole, and Jason Biggs as an awkward nice guy; and d) directed by Howard Deutch, who is responsible for some of the worst comedies of the last ten years. Oh, and it's named after a song. Despite not being dead, the Cars are spinning in their graves.

On one hand, I'd love to be proven wrong about My Best Friend's Girl; on the other hand, I really, really don't want to subject myself to it. Would it be a dereliction of duty to skip the thing?