Lara Croft learns the trade from a very old Indiana Jones


Most Hollywood blockbusters spawn their share of low-budget ripoffs, but only a few really successful movies are influential enough to be followed by big-budget copycats. Usually these followers get media-infused taglines such as "Die Hard on a ... " or "Aliens in a ... ", with the labels likely originating at the studio pitch stage.

Though Raiders of the Lost Ark and its sequels were already derivative and referential works, the Indiana Jones franchise also inspired derivatives of its own, some that were exploitive, some that paid homage and some that are only linked through minor elements. So, in celebration of the latest Indy movie, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, here's a look back at all the "Indiana Jones as a ... " knock-offs that Hollywood has delivered in the last few decades:

1. Indiana Jones as a woman: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

The real source of this and its 2003 sequel, Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life, were the Tomb Raider video games, which were clearly inspired by the Indiana Jones films. In the movie we have an archaeologist who seeks a mystical object, which she must keep out of the hands of an evil society. There's an Asian temple, a reunion with a disappeared estranged father and a finale involving the crumbling self-destruction of an elaborate set piece. It's like all the initial three Indiana Jones films wrapped up in one, with added sex appeal in casting Angelina Jolie in the Harrison Ford role. Yet Jolie as Croft is too serious to be the female counterpart to Ford's Indy. Also, while the Indiana Jones films deal with some level of magically religious fantasy, they're at least grounded by "real" or familiar artifacts such as the Holy Grail and the Ark of the Covenant. And they tend to remain just realistic enough to avoid things like giant six-armed statues that come to life.

After hungrily watching National Treasure: Book of Secrets rake in $218 million domestic last December, Hollywood has apparently decided that what we really want is more movies about treasure hunting. On Tuesday, Erik Davis told you about Beaujolais, the new Farrelly-produced comedy about a treasure-hunting version of Ace Ventura or Austin Powers. Now comes news that Iron Jack, a spec script about a novelist's pursuit of legendary treasure in the 1930s, sparked a bidding war among studios, with Columbia picking it up for $1.25 million against $2 million (which means the writer will get an extra $750,000 if the film is actually produced). The screenwriter responsible is Johnny Rosenthal, who's had a number of things in the works over the years (including an interesting-looking comedy about a pilot who is forced to become a flight attendant to learn gender sensitivity), but with nothing coming to fruition.

The two National Treasures were a perfect demonstration of the line between treasure-hunting movies that are breezy and entertaining (the first one) and ones that are plodding, boring and ridiculous (the second). The Indiana Jones films are the genre's gold standard, of course, so The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull should hold you over nicely until Iron Jack, Beaujolais, and no doubt a third National Treasure show up at a theater near you.

No source knows Disney better than Jim Hill Media, which is why anyone interested in the future of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise should pay attention to this new info. Actually, some of it is not that new -- you may remember a couple months back when Keira Knightley told reporters that she had no intention of returning to the series for a fourth film -- well, Hill reports that the current thinking inside the house of mouse for how to proceed with an inevitable fourth Captain Jack adventure would not involve either the Elizabeth or Will characters, who were so neatly wrapped up in the button at the end of the last film. Their show is wrapped. The fourth film, according to Hill, will "toss the Elizabeth and Will characters over the side in favor of doing a bawdy buddy picture which would star Jack Sparrow and Barbossa. Where both captains of the Black Pearl would initially be competing for the exact same prize."

"Eventually, all the double crossing would have to stop as these two rivals were then forced to join forces in order to defeat some supernatural terror," Hill says, going on to speculate on a possible problem with the Pirates franchise and the National Treasure franchise both wanting to pursue a 'fountain of youth' story in their next installment. "Wouldn't it be funny if -- when Benjamin Gates arrived at the Fountain of Youth -- he then found Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbossa?" Hill asks. "It could be the Disney version of Alien vs. Predator." Not likely. And anyway, who are they going to replace Keira Knightley with in this next film? If I'm going to be watching another three hours of poor CGI and sitcom-level humor, they better have some saucy wenches for me to look at.

[via IGN]

I didn't think much of the first National Treasure when it hit the screens a few years back (my review called it "equal parts forced banter, moronic plot device, omnipresent exposition and oh-so-familiar chase"), but I'm man enough to admit that the flick has managed to grow on me a bit after subsequent viewings. I still wouldn't come close to calling National Treasure an overlooked gem or anything like that, but perhaps I was expecting a bit too much from the movie the first time around.

So I told you all that so I could tell you this: National Treasure 2 (oh, sorry, National Treasure: Book of Secrets) won't be getting the same reprieve, simply because I'll never watch it again. Some movies deserve a second look ... and some sequels are just unquestionably witless. But hey, if you're one of those movie-watchers who loves to get the same old schpiel, recycled repeatedly, simply because people prefer things that are familiar over things that are different, then I suppose you'll wring two diverting hours out of this cookie-cutter retread. But even if you like the flick more than I did, I guarantee you'll have forgotten all about the experience in less than 24 hours. Movies like this make you wonder if sequels are more punishment than reward. (Obviously they're neither: They're commerce.)

For those who missed the first flick, here's the general gist on both: Nicolas Cage is a nerdly-yet-slick treasure hunter / historian, and apparently his job is to discover maps and clues that have somehow remained hidden from hundreds of previous treasure hunter / historians. In both movies, Ben Gates (Cage) has a powerfully annoying sidekick (Justin Bartha) who serves two purposes: Grade school-level quips of alleged comic relief, and the ability to do literally ANYTHING with electronics. He also has a blonde love interest (Diane Kruger, and the duo exhibit about as much chemistry as gym class), a dad (Jon Voight) who repeats every single plot point (for the extra-stupid viewers), and a pair of screenplays that are just a bit more believable than, say, Independence Day.

Last night I was watching The Rock with a stranded house guest (first snow = flight cancellations) who really loves Nicolas Cage. Near the beginning of the movie (one of my favorite guilty pleasures), she asked why Cage does these kinds of movies, and I replied that he must simply love doing dumb action. It's got to be easier and more fun than trying to win another Oscar, that's for sure. It's not surprising, coincidentally, to find some quotes from the actor on ComingSoon.net this morning in which he proposes a couple more dumb action movies he'd like to star in. The interesting thing, though, is that they're more sequels -- something Cage hadn't seemed too interested in prior to National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Of course, the only reason he never did a sequel before is more likely because his movies weren't big enough hits to warrant a follow-up. I doubt he would have turned down Snake Eyes 2.

The first movie he asks for is Ghost Rider 2, which he says could happen if only someone gives him a call. It's actually pretty surprising that nobody has contacted him about a Ghost Rider sequel considering it made more than $200 million worldwide, and it had a shockingly great opening -- the best 4-day President's Day weekend gross ever, in fact. Plus, director Mark Steven Johnson claimed last summer that there were talks for GR2. Cage said it would be "fun" to return to the comic book character with the flaming skull head (see: he does it cuz it's "fun"). The other hoped for sequel is a third National Treasure (the second, Book of Secrets, is out later this month), though he is interested in expanding the series so "it becomes more and more International Treasure." Maybe Cage is jealous of Indiana Jones, but he'd like his character, Ben Gates, to have to travel to London, Paris, Egypt, Africa, Asia and more. He said, "that would be a lot of fun for me." (see: he does it cuz it's "fun"). Well, Nic, here's what would be a lot of fun for me: Con Air 2. As long as you enjoy doing dumb action, why not bring back the funniest, dumbest action you've ever made?

I have to be honest with you; there probably is about a zero chance that I will be watching National Secrets: Book of Secrets when it hits theaters on December 21st. Frankly, I was pretty surprised that the first film had enough of a following to even warrant a sequel. But, far be it for me to spoil anyone else's fun; so I present to you Disney's brand new website for the adventure flick. In the spirit of mystery, I won't ruin the surprise, but, basically it's exactly what you would expect. There are plenty of; downloads, trailers, photos, games, and of course, the promise of more to come. Back in May, there had been a teaser poster and just last August, we finally got our trailer. So I can only assume that the web site is the last piece in Disney's marketing puzzle.

NT 2: Book of Secrets, brought back director Jon Turteltaub, and members from the original cast have also returned. Joining Nicholas Cage will be Diane Kruger and John Voight. Cage has been attached to a variety of roles this year – everything from Al Capone to Magnum P.I. and Liberace, although to be fair most of those projects have fallen by the wayside -- it makes you wonder what it was precisely about a National Treasure sequel inspired Cage to stick around. For NT2, Cage's treasure hunter, Benjamin Franklin Gates is uncovering the truth behind the Lincoln assassination through the diary of his killer, John Wilkes Booth. Basically, it's another conspiracy flick that's trying to make US landmarks and history just a little sexier -- which as any high school teacher can tell you, is no easy task.

Hearing that National Treasure: Book of Secrets is going to tackle the Lincoln assassination, I can't help but wish that Nicolas Cage grabs one of those fake parchments with the side-by-side rundown of the coincidences between that assassination and Kennedy's. Man, it would terrible, but in that wonderful Bubba Ho-Tep sort of way. And really, we're talking about National Treasure, so I don't think that could hurt it at all.

IGN recently talked to director Jon Turteltaub about the flick, and from what he says, the film is exactly what you would probably expect: a Bruckheimer-like adventure movie. The director says: "Making National Treasure, I was aspiring to all the Jerry Bruckheimer movies I'd seen. To make a movie that looks big, felt exciting and would be a big audience pleaser. But I didn't want to do that and forget about the kinds of things that were important to me. Not just great characters, but great character relationships. People who you root for." Well, based on the teaser that Scott directed us to a few months ago, I don't think I'll be rooting for Riley Poole, but anyway...

Turteltaub also talks about sequels and says: "everybody is going to be thinking, 'You're a sellout.' Everyone down the line, including cinematographers and editors, are thinking the same thing. So we tried to elevate casting by getting Helen Mirren and Ed Harris." Of course, we know that -- but from what he said, I'm getting the feeling that he isn't too sure he believes it. (Besides, wouldn't a really solid script be more important than notable actors?) He goes from there to talk about attempting to make a movie he would like, and if he fails, then at least a movie others would like. There's too much talk about selling out and failing for my tastes. However, to give him credit, Turteltaub also talks about the lack of adventures on American soil, and that I'm totally into -- we're familiar with the landscape, the people and the history -- so why not play on that on-screen?

The whole treasure-huntin' gang is back in National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and that means not only director Jon Turteltaub and producer Jerry Bruckheimer but stars Nicolas Cage, Jon Voight, Justin Bartha, Harvey Keitel and Diane Kruger too. (Plus they added Helen Mirren, Ed Harris and Bruce Greenwood to the mix, which certainly won't hurt.) Also still on board are the husband & wife screenwriting team of "The Wibberleys" (oh how cute, that's how they're credited in the trailer). But since "The Wibberleys" filmography consists of titles like The Shaggy Dog, Bad Boys 2 and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle, I'll just focus on the fact that these guys also got a 'story by' credit.

This time around the plot details with the search of infamous assassin John Wilkes Booth's missing diary pages, and it'll bring our secret-crackers from London to D.C. to Mount Rushmore in an effort to decipher some ancient historical silliness. Could be a fun enough flick come December. I was right there with the teaser trailer until Bartha opened his mouth and delivered a joke so lame it reminded me who wrote this movie. NT2 hits theaters on December 21, a week after I Am Legend and a week before Alien vs. Predator 2. (And you thought December was Oscar-bait season!)

Jon Voight and Nicolas Cage were caught waiting outside the White House for a tour! Well, not exactly, although I wouldn't be surprised if they were allowed in for a private look around at the presidential quarters. What exactly were Voight and Cage doing pandering in front of the black iron gates? They were in the middle of filming National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Just Jared captured a sequence of photographs that show a variety of comfortable cast members lolly gagging as they waited for their next shot. National Treasure: Book of Secrets returns with almost the entire cast from the original, including Diane Kruger and Harvey Kietel. This time, instead of going after a treasure, Cage is seeking resolution over President Abraham Lincoln's death.

The search is for the missing pages in John Wilkes Booth's diary that may reveal the reason for his actions. Hence the necessity for the White House to be a part of the plot. I have to admit it sounds interesting and whether there truly is a legend about missing pages from Booth's diary I'm not sure, but a story that dives into the man behind Lincoln's death could be utterly fascinating. The first National Treasure made nearly $350 million dollars in box office sales worldwide in 2004 and held the number one spot for three weeks in a row; for those who haven't seen it, the Jerry Bruckheimer production is about a treasure hunter (Cage) who sought after a historical fortune that his fellow employer had his eyes set on too -- see the conflict? We have another nine months until we see if National Treasure: Book of Secrets matches the success of its predecessor but for now, there are always production stills to enjoy. National Treasure: Book of Secrets reaches theatres on December 21 of this year.

Over on Jill Hill Media, the always controversial (and often humorous) Jim Hill talks about how Disney has gone "franchise-crazy," looking to milk sequels out of pretty much every project currently in development or being considered. Following the success of The Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy (which, when it's all said and done, will probably turn into at least six Pirate-related films), Disney is scoping out their existing films, as well as other larger-than-life properties that come with the extra special (and all-too-important) built-in audience, in order to see which ones have franchise potential.

Hill says Disney's next big franchise could come out of The Prince of Persia video game series. Partnering up once again with Jerry Bruckheimer Films, the games certainly provide them with a built-in audience; a crucial component in any successful franchise. Hill also claims the first Persia flick will most likely be Disney's big Summer 2008 pic. Oh, but they're not stopping there -- along with a possible Enchanted sequel and three more Narnia pics, Disney is looking to take Bruckheimer's other series, National Treasure, for a ride on the franchise train; apart from the upcoming sequel, Disney might be interested in a third and fourth installment. (Not for nothing, but the first National Treasure didn't blow me away -- here's hoping Bruckheimer has something special planned for the sequel ... or else the subsequent films will most likely be a waste of time and money.)

What do you think about The Prince of Persia? Does it have the legs (and the audience) to become Disney's next big franchise? We all know a large gaming audience doesn't necessarily translate to big box office dollars, and that's probably one of the many reasons why Halo was abruptly shut down. Thoughts?