"What fresh hell is this?"
-Dorothy Parker, reportedly as she cast her first glance upon a poster for Disaster Movie

Let's get this out of the way: Disaster Movie is indeed a disaster first, and a movie barely, pure pop culture pablum for da masses (say it aloud, there you go) as can only be expected from the likes of Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg. It's another opus that, despite opening titles done in the style of Armageddon's and a feeble thru-line borrowed from Cloverfield (mixed with some of The Day After Tomorrow), is as much a send-up of disaster-related films as Epic Movie was a spoof of actual epic movies.

It takes two minutes for the first crotch shot, four minutes for the first belch gag, thirty for someone to get breast milk on their face, forty-five for someone to get feces on their face, and about sixty for a record scratch to tell us that something peculiar just happened. In between, the characters relentlessly name-check movies and celebrities and websites and any other manner of the vaguely familiar, the bulk of which I've taken to listing below (because if you're still going to see this willingly, I still doubt that you care much for reading at all).

(As for the rest of you: You're welcome.)

After the stunning cinematic achievement that was Meet the Spartans, I know you were all wondering, with bated breath, when we would get more. While this doesn't seem to be a sequel, Variety reports that Grosvenor Park is going to finance a new, untitled project from Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, otherwise known as the writer/director team behind Spartans.

The pair have just started directing from their script in Shreveport, LA, and while there's no word on what this latest comedy will be about, it's got a cast that includes Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian, G-Thang, Nicole Parker, Crista Flanagan, and Ike Barinholtz. Sounds excellent, eh? We won't even have to wait long for it. The film is scheduled to be released this August.

Sure, there was only one "fresh" review on Rotten Tomatoes (from Kam Williams at News Blaze), IMDb voters rated it 2.3/10, giving it the #88 spot on the Bottom 100 list, and 63.8% of those who voted at Box Office Mojo gave it an F, but it still managed to gross $77,758,391 worldwide. I wonder how many bad films this team can make before people stop going to see them?