When Michael Bay was announced as the director of Transformers, a big-screen version of the '80s cartoon franchise about alien robots who hide among humanity disguised as vehicles and other machines, it seemed like the perfect match of director and subject; whether that's a compliment or an insult is a matter of your perspective. Bay's movies (Bad Boys II, Armageddon) have always looked like a bizarre hybrid of truck commercials, Army recruitment ads and country-music videos: high-gloss, quick-cut, back-lit visions with an emphasis on surface sheen and a minimum of scripting or storytelling to get in the way of the next explosion or action moment. Transformers may represent the ultimate symbiosis of director and subject: Transformers is, in many ways, a long-form commercial, co-produced by Paramount, DreamWorks ... and toy manufacturer Hasbro.

Transformers, the movie, may sell Transformers, the toys, but it doesn't do much of anything else. You can't go into Transformers expecting it to make a lot of sense, or to work as science fiction (it is a movie about giant robots who shift shape, after all) but I don't think it's too much to ask that it could, at least, be competently and coherently made, which it isn't. There's no rhythm to the big moments of action -- they're too quickly-cut and closely-shot to be clear or comprehensible -- and the script, credited to Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, is littered with failures in both simple taste and basic storytelling.

I never really understood the premise behind Transformers, but I didn't care. They were above and beyond the greatest toys a kid could dream of playing with. Who needed either action figures or Matchbox cars anymore? The Transformers were both. And as a loyal consumer child of the '80s, I followed my favorite toy line as it spun-off an animated television series, a comic book series and a full-length feature film. As I said, I didn't really get the story. All that mattered was that there were good guys (Autobots) and there were bad guys (Decepticons), same as any action cartoon. Anyway, the more I try to comprehend the premise of Transformers, the more questions I have about its logic, so I kinda prefer to be in the dark.

It's been nearly twenty years since I sold all my toys at a tag sale, and I haven't watched the television show or read a Transformers comic in all that time. So, when I decided to take a nostalgic look at Transformers: The Movie I was more in the dark than ever. Because it functions as a continuation of the television series, existing chronologically between the show's second and third seasons, there isn't much in the way of introductions. This is a movie for people familiar with the premise, the story and the characters of the Transformers universe.

Well guys, it has become a semi-weekly ritual these days, but today provides us with one of the more interesting installments. Yes, it is time to drag out some new images of the "updated" Transformers look courtesy of Michael Bay and company. Today's images come to us from the ever-present IESB, and are, in fact, the covers of a Transformers sticker book and a Transformers movie novel. They feature two of the characters we've seen the most of -- Bumblebee and Optimus Prime -- in full glory, striking action poses like champions. The shots are a bit grainy and color-weak, but they certainly convey the style of the new Transformers look.

I need your help, fans. I continue to be particularly unimpressed with the look I've seen from the new flick, and I find myself entirely unable to divorce any notions of the film from my already pre-disposed negative opinions of Michael Bay. I'm certain this has tainted any objectivity I should have towards the film, and I find myself unable to think about it objectively. But I want to look forward to this film -- I desperately want to get behind the idea of a renovated Transformers. So if you've got any positive angles, pitch them to me. I'm all ears.

It is no secret yours truly is very hesitant about getting behind the new Transformers film. The reasons are many and varied, but mostly they revolve around the directorial talent of Michael Bay, and what I've seen of his work so far. However, if there is one thing I can definitely, without hesitation or doubt, 100% support, it is the vocal talent of Peter Cullen returning to voice the iconic Optimus Prime. An amusing "make Prime speak" contest just recently wrapped up, and if you surf by the official website, you can hear the results. They are, I must say, delightful. If you are in any way a fan of the original series, I suggest you hit up the website and listen to Optimus Prime throw around ten fantastic one-liners. Hearing him declare "Autobots, transform and roll out!" gave me small shivers. It makes me wonder, honestly, whether geek throwback elements such as Peter Cullen will be enough to outweigh any shortcomings of the film. Probably not -- but they will be enough to get me to shell out cash and visit the theater, which is probably more than enough for Paramount.

I may poke fun at Ain't It Cool news from time to time for their overwhelming enthusiasm and use of exclamation points, but like most geeks, I respect Harry Knowles and the crazy, crazy job he does. The same apparently cannot be said for Transformers producer Don Murphy, who in a recent flame post on his message board referred to Harry's site as "Ain't it S**t news." A profoundly witty man, that Murphy ... he can really zing those insults off, and with such clever turns of phrase. At any rate, Murphy was responding to images of Optimus Prime seen on Ain't it Cool News, and the money part of his quote was: "You know -- no one from the production ever confirmed anything that was leaked to Ain't It S**t News. So it may have been actual photos or it may not have been. The bad poet Diabetes has reported on here that Megatron's head will be changed. From what? Did we ever release an official pic of Megs? No sir we didn't. I CAN tell you that Megs' head will not look like he did in the leaked pics."

So there you have it, folks. Your friendly neighborhood producer Don Murphy reminds you "don't trust the internets." Thanks, Don!

If I lived in Detroit, Michigan, I imagine I'd be getting rather tired of Michael Bay. Okay, I imagine I'd be getting rather tired of him for reasons other than continuing to make bad movies. For the second time in recent years, director Bay has closed down streets in the greater Detroit area -- Fort Wayne between Washington and Griswold, and Shelby between Lafayette and Congress, to be specific -- for filming purposes. However, as I do not live in Detroit, I find this to be rather cool. Bay has used the same streets previously while filming for The Island, and likewise the abandoned Michigan Central Depot, according to Detroit Free Press.

In other Transformers news, you can check out a few new site photos from filming, including what looks to be a distance shot of Optimus Prime in his non-robot form and a few helicopters flying about. And don't forget the new "Make Optimus Speak" contest -- details here courtesy of Matt B.

There is a wonderful little interview with long time voice actor Peter Cullen over at USA Today's Pop Candy. In it, Cullen discusses his introduction to voice acting, his early roles, and his years of work with the Transformers series which ultimately resulted in a voice role in the new Transformers film. Cullen said he was never really aware of the show's popularity back when he first worked on it, and apparently never saw a single piece of fan mail. He isn't suggesting fans didn't send them, of course, he just doesn't know who at the studio took them in and dealt with them. Ergo, he was shocked and extremely pleased when the geek cry went out across the nation for his casting in the new film. He'd heard of the film happening, and the next thing he knew, his name was being championed all over the internet. This lead to a meeting with director Michael Bay, and once he convinced Bay he could in fact act, Cullen landed the role of Optimus Prime for one more time. I personally feel as though we geeks on the web have done a very good thing here, so give yourselves a big round of applause -- you brought the real Optimus Prime back.

You've got to hand it to Ain't It Cool News -- they've been all over the Transformers photo action these past few weeks. Among the most popular (photograph-wise, anyway) of the robots in disguise has been Bumblebee, and the good folks over at AICN have turned up yet another picture of the big bot. This one comes courtesy of some folks over at the SuperheroHype boards, and shows a reclined Bumblebee (the physical model, not a CGI version) waiting to be carted around set. You can dig the picture here, and while you're at it, you can scope a cute little cardboard street "mock-up" designed to give some idea of the size scale between the various Transformers.

As I began to write this post -- I kid you not, that very moment, I received an IM from my buddy John who said the following: "feeling like I want to gouge out my eyes. I just saw concept art for The Transformers movie." Now John is openly "old-school," and his opinions are thus influenced, but the man accurately summed up the opinions of a large portion of the geek community. As one AICN talkbacker wisely put it, "I know Bumblebee, and you, sir, are no Bumblebee."

I have almost nothing new to say about my thoughts on the Transformers flick currently being crafted by Michael Bay, but dang it, news just keeps showing up about the sucker. For months, I tried to resist all discussion of casting, storyline and other matters, insisting "none of it has meaning until I see the giant transforming robots." And after months of waiting, the robots seem to be showing up all at once. For a quick review, you can read about the look of Megatron here and the look of Bumblebee here. And now, we have a new look at the true face of the Transformers, Optimus Prime. Swing on by AICN for a peek at some sort of promo image which was apparently nabbed at a "magical clothing trade show." Presumably this means folks were showing off clothes to be used in magic acts, although it would be far cooler if they were in fact trading elements of magical clothing at some big, supernatural swap meet.

So ... the picture of Prime at least looks a bit better than some of the other images we've seen so far, right? Go ahead and let fly with your "you know what they say about guys with big guns" jokes, you know you want to. It isn't funny, and 50 million people have probably already told it, but we both know that isn't going to stop some of you.

Ok, so you know how everyone has been freaking out about who is going to voice Optimus Prime and his friends in Michael Bay's Transformers? Well, worry no longer, friends: It was announced at ComicCon today that Peter Cullen, the man who was Optimus Prime in the cartoon, will be returning for the movie! (I guess he came through that audition ok.) Can I get a hell yes? And can it possibly be that Bay isn't going to screw this up? While I'm not personally ready to go quite that far yet, I'm guessing that this decision, quite reasonably, will go a long way towards getting the fanboy crowd in his corner.

Next question: Will the rest of the original cast be returning, as well?