In the original Bangkok Dangerous, the main character (an assassin) was deaf-mute. A very interesting angle for a killer, and one that would've made for good conversations had that aspect of the film made its way into the English-language remake. Ah, but it's not to be. I mean, could you imagine hiring Nicolas Cage for a film and then giving him no lines? Seriously -- the guy overacts as it is; what in the world would it look like if Cage had to tell us everything through facial expressions? There's a chance the dude's cheeks would literally explode on camera.

But anyway, above you will find the trailer for Bangkok Dangerous; a remake of the 1999 Pang Brothers film, directed by the boys behind the original. Here, Cage plays an assassin who travels to Thailand to kill a bunch of people, but falls for a local Thai girl in the process. Cue feelings of regret ... yada yada. For those who saw the original, how do you feel about them removing such a crucial part for the remake?

Bangkok Dangerous hits theaters on August 22.

As I reported in December, Danny and Oxide Pang (Bangkok Dangerous, The Messengers) were hired to direct the sequel to action fantasy The Storm Riders. More details have surfaced at the Hong Kong Filmart, according to Variety. Filming begins next month with original stars Aaron Kwok and Ekin Cheng set to return; Simon Yam, Nicholas Tse, and Charlene Choi will also star. The picture will be the first Hong Kong movie filmed exclusively on blue screen, a la 300, though the budget is just $12 million, compared to 300's estimated cost of $65 million. The Storm Riders II is due for release at the end of 2009.

Variety is also reporting that the wonderfully versatile Gary Oldman is in "advanced negotiations" to star in Rain Fall, the "story of a hit man who is forced to protect the daughter of one of his victims against assassination by the C.I.A." If the deal goes through, Oldman would join Shiina Kippei (Shinobi) and actress Akiho Hasegawa. Max Mannix will direct the Japan-set thriller; veteran producer Satoru Iseki is employing "sophisticated Western financing techniques" to get the picture made.

We've been tracking World War II action epic Shanghai since last summer. Production was expected to start this spring in Shanghai, but the Chinese authorities denied the shooting permit after the Weinstein Co. had spent nearly three million dollars building sets. Variety says that production has now been shifted to Thailand and England, though there's no word on a new start date. The film will be directed by Mikael Håfström and stars John Cusack, Chow Yun-Fat, Gong Li and Ken Watanabe.

He may not be a wrestler, but Nicolas Cage certainly knows how to be dangerous in Bangkok. Back in June of 2006, the National Treasure-hunting actor signed on for the Pang Brothers' (Oxide Pang Chun and Danny Pang) remake of their 1999 action film, Bangkok Dangerous. Now The Hollywood Reporter posts that Lionsgate has picked up the North American distribution rights to the film, which they will push out to us this summer.

Bangkok follows Cage as "an anonymous assassin who travels to the city to handle four kills for an underworld crime boss, but his conscience becomes his enemy when he meets a local Thai girl." You might notice that the deaf-mute angle on Cage's character is missing this time around. Why? According to an old interview with the filmmakers: "We'd like to keep him the same, but we understand that from a marketing purpose Nic needs to have some lines." In other words, they were convinced to change the character? That's really too bad, since that's an interesting angle for a hitman -- someone who can't hear the results of his work. Instead, his girlfriend will get the deaf treatment. Still, it's the Pang Brothers, so maybe that won't matter.

Today we read from the Horror Movie Bible, chapter 13, verse 666: "When there are no Asian horror movies left to remake, Asian filmmakers will alight to Hollywood and create Americanized versions of The Ring, The Grudge and Dark Water and lo the PG-13 rating will be applied -- and it will be not good." But since The Messengers was written by a really cool horror geek named Mark Wheaton, I walked into an opening day matinee screening of the flick with some high hopes. Despite everything the TV spots, the trailers and the pre-release buzz had been telling me, I was actively intent on trying to enjoy The Messengers. Sorry to say that my pilot light of enthusiasm was snuffed out after less than twelve minutes of on-screen activity. This is a stunningly inert, painfully derivative, shamelessly cheap and aggressively dull ghost story that delivers nothing you haven't seen before. About 43 times.

Clocking in at a scant 84 minutes (and that's including a tiresome prologue and a lengthy opening credits sequence), The Messengers is The Grudge on a farm (The Grarm!) -- and it's about as thrilling as that description implies. It's about a family of four (Mom, Dad, Teenage Daughter, Mute Boy Toddler) who bail on Chicago in favor of Nowheresville, North Dakota. (Dad's got a bee in his bonnet about becoming a sunflower farmer, darnit, and nothing's gonna get in the way of that dream!) While Mom, Dad and Mute Toddler go about settling into their new home, teenage daughter has a problem; basically, she sees shadows, visions, apparitions, etc. -- and of course nobody believes her. (There's a ridiculously prolonged backstory about why Mom and Dad don't completely trust Teenage Daughter, but it's much too silly to get into at this point.)

What do you do when there are no more Asian horror flicks left to rip off remake? Well, you hire some of the finest Asian filmmakers, fly 'em over here, and hire them to churn out American horror movies, of course! After having Takashi Shimizu remake his own The Grudge for American audiences (and to much profit, of course), Sony tapped the vaunted Pang Brothers (The Eye) to helm something kinda similar to the most popular Asian horrorshows ... but not really. This explains why this new trailer for The Messengers looks a whole lot like just another haunted house piece, only with pale phantom limbs where they shouldn't be and those creepy twisted bodies that twitch around in icky fashion. (Call it The Amityville Horror meets The Grudge, as if there's much difference in the first place.)

Written by Mark Wheaton (Firestorm: Last Stand at Yellowstone) from a story by Todd Farmer (Jason X), The Messengers seems to be about a teenage girl who sees spooky spirits after her family moves into a dusty old house. Imagine that.

If there's a saving grace here (aside from it being a horror movie and therefore something I must see eventually) it could be the cast: Kristen Stewart, Penelope Ann Miller, Dylan McDermott and John Corbett can usually contribute enough for a half-decent 90-some minutes. Either way, you can expect a PG-13 all the way from The Messengers, as it hails from Sam Raimi's Ghost House Pictures, the diet-horror production shingle that gave you Boogeyman and The Grudge 2. Let's just hope the movie's a lot better than the trailer. The Messengers opens on February 9.