I guess Elizabeth Swann is part of the powers that be at Disneyland. Jack Sparrow has had his rum taken away once again. Over at the Disney Blog, there's a post talking about an ex-Sparrow entertainer from the park, who says that Disney wanted their iconic character toned down. "Don't be flirtatious." "See women as trouble." And best of all -- don't mention drinking.

In other words: Don't be Jack Sparrow.

Considering the fact that this is based on a ride where all the pirates drink, and that any Sparrow fans out there have already seen him in action -- flirting and drinking -- this is one of the silliest bits of moral control that I've seen in a while. If a drunk pirate hero really isn't the type of dude Disney wants mingling with the kids, perhaps that should have been figured out a long time ago, before the film and the ride? And anyway, when did flirting become something inappropriate for kids?

I mean, sure, going through that ride a number of times as a kid, I got meself an eye patch, couldn't stop saying ARR!, and slept with a bottle of rum rather than a bear, but what's wrong with that?

Remember serials? I don't, because I'm too young, and by the time I began going to the movies, it was already the practice for cinemas to stick to single, self-contained, feature-length fare. With the way screenings are arranged today, scheduled so that both theater owners and studios can get as much money from as many showings as possible, there's just no room for any accompanying shorts, especially the kind that don't end in a conclusive manner.

I'd probably be okay with being left out of that experience from the moviegoing past, but each time another Indiana Jones movie is released, I can't help but think I'm at least a little less appreciative of George Lucas' intent than some of the older folk in the audience. When Lucas thought up the original Raiders of the Lost Ark, he partly meant the film as homage to the serials he remembered from his childhood.

Yet Raiders didn't end with a cliffhanger, as most serials had on a weekly basis. And with the third sequel to that film, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, arriving in theaters this week, I still wonder why at least two installments couldn't have been connected with the serializing device. Lucas had already somewhat shown us, through the uncertain ending of The Empire Stikes Back and continuation/resolution beginning of Return of the Jedi, that it could be done.

Cranky Eric© sez ... Hey, people who make movies: Stop putting scenes after the closing credits. If you want me to watch it, put it IN THE MOVIE, not after it.

It has been well established that when a list of names starts scrolling up against a black screen, the movie is OVER. You're done. Whatever story you had to tell, you told it. That's the way movies work.

You want to put something cute after the credits, fine. Knock yourself out. A lot of times that stuff is fun. But it doesn't count as an actual part of the story. If it's something we need to know, tell us. Don't hide it after the list of gaffers and production assistants and humane society certifications.

Oh, what, at the end of the last Pirates of the Caribbean -- after the 37 minutes of credits have rolled -- it turns out Elizabeth has a son and is standing around waiting for her once-in-a-decade evening of romance with Will? No she doesn't, and no she isn't. Because the movie ended 37 minutes earlier, when the closing credits started. Whatever happens after that is just you horsin' around. Doesn't count. It's not canon.

Yesterday, Eric D. Snider mentioned an interesting exercise by The New Republic's Christopher Orr. Annoyed at the recent glut of trailers that give away the entire film, he decided to write a review of 21 (which hits theaters today) based only on the trailer. Eric thought the "review" was actually pretty accurate, and I agree. I also agree that the trailer is egregiously inconsiderate of people who'd have liked to go into the movie unspoiled at least as to the third act. It's a shame.

But I'm sure you agree that it doesn't have to be that way. Trailers don't have to give away the game, and they don't have to be tacky and ham-fisted either. They're a marketing tool, of course, but trailers are also -- or can be -- an art form in their own right. Sometimes a trailer is such a skillful composition of images, sounds, words and music that it winds up having more of an effect on me than the movie I'm in the theater to see. (Often, too, the trailer turns out to be better than the movie it's advertising, which is always a disappointment.)

So while yesterday Eric asked you for examples of trailers that pissed you off because they revealed too much, I'd like to know which recent trailers you've loved. Not necessarily which ones you think advertised their movie in the optimal way, but which ones have been great in themselves -- scary, rousing, moving, beautiful. Take a look at some of my favorites and sound off after the jump.

Sometimes it never feels like the film world really moves forward.

A Disney spy reports that Disney has plans to release a bunch of sequels in 2011, one of which is their long-long-long awaited sequel to Tron . That is 29 years after the original was released, which surely must be some kind of record. Hasn't it been just too long? Even the plan to release it in 3-D doesn't really freshen it up for me, but I never was a big fan of the film.

But a franchise much nearer and dearer to the hearts of a younger generation may also be revived -- word has it that Disney also plans to release a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean. And there are conflicting reports on where Disney wants to go with it. Some within the studio want to do a smaller film, probably heavy on the Jack Sparrow, and lighter on the special effects budget. Others want to go completely the opposite and make it beyond fantastical, with dinosaurs and steampunkish floating fortresses. (To be honest, it sounds like some Disney execs have been playing Pirates of the Cursed Seas. That isn't as crazy as it sounds, they did a Pirates set with the company.)

I think it is inevitable a fourth film will be made, particularly after the bitter disappointment caused by the third installment. The Pirates frenzy is just starting to abate and with a bit of breathing room, it would undoubtedly be just as popular. And perhaps most importantly for my household, my sister's boyfriend will have a job impersonating Jack Sparrow for a few more years.

Now that Gore Verbinski seems to be finished with Pirates, I guess he's getting a little anxious about securing himself a new franchise. The Hollywood Reporter announced that Verbinski is getting into the animation business, and he is still assembling his team for the yet to be named film. So far, some of the designers include; visual effects specialist Mark "Crash" McCrery and story and storyboard artist James Ward Bruit. Both men are veterans from the Pirate films, so there won't be a need for any introductions. Verbinski has yet to decide if he will be handling the animation work in-house, and is waiting to see what he has to work with once the script is completed.

The film has a projected budget of around $100 million and has a first look deal with Warner Bros. (thanks to Verbinski's producing partner, Graham King). The two met through screenwriter John Logan (Sweeney Todd), who had worked with King on The Aviator (even more proof that it's who you know in Hollywood). Logan is already in talks to pen the screenplay, but so far there are no details on the story. All we do know is that the flick will be of the action-adventure variety. But that isn't stopping Verbinski from pitching the idea of built in sequels to whatever Logan comes up with. Then again, it's not like it really matters, this is the guy who made a billion dollar franchise out of a crappy theme park ride. Verbinski's untitled animated extravaganza is expected to be released in 2010.

You know how it is on Valentine's Day, if you're not involved with (or married to) anyone. You try to avoid those annoying radio and TV commercials about how the men need to show their love by buying the women in their lives all kinds of fancy things. You attempt to make plans with friends, but they're all hoping for something romantic or planning to mope about their lack of romance. Maybe you join the Anti-Valentine's League, maybe you just try to ignore it all until the hype is over.

But there you are on Valentine's Day night with no plans, and naturally you gravitate toward the time-tested entertainment method of sitting in front of the TV with a good movie. Pizza and/or ice cream might also be part of the viewing process. For years, I liked to curl up with a thin-crust pizza from the local pizza joint, a pint of that Ben and Jerry's ice cream with the chunks of brownies in it, some Dr. Pepper (to be tres Agnes Gooch about it) and my favorite Valentine's movie, Some Like It Hot. After all, it is set around the St. Valentine's Day Massacre, so it's a delightfully sideways hat tip to the holiday. Plus, that glorious last line. But maybe you're in a different mindset on February 14. Here's a list of movies to cover whatever kind of mood might strike you that night, as you ponder which movie you want to spend St. Valentine's Day with.

No source knows Disney better than Jim Hill Media, which is why anyone interested in the future of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise should pay attention to this new info. Actually, some of it is not that new -- you may remember a couple months back when Keira Knightley told reporters that she had no intention of returning to the series for a fourth film -- well, Hill reports that the current thinking inside the house of mouse for how to proceed with an inevitable fourth Captain Jack adventure would not involve either the Elizabeth or Will characters, who were so neatly wrapped up in the button at the end of the last film. Their show is wrapped. The fourth film, according to Hill, will "toss the Elizabeth and Will characters over the side in favor of doing a bawdy buddy picture which would star Jack Sparrow and Barbossa. Where both captains of the Black Pearl would initially be competing for the exact same prize."

"Eventually, all the double crossing would have to stop as these two rivals were then forced to join forces in order to defeat some supernatural terror," Hill says, going on to speculate on a possible problem with the Pirates franchise and the National Treasure franchise both wanting to pursue a 'fountain of youth' story in their next installment. "Wouldn't it be funny if -- when Benjamin Gates arrived at the Fountain of Youth -- he then found Captain Jack Sparrow and Barbossa?" Hill asks. "It could be the Disney version of Alien vs. Predator." Not likely. And anyway, who are they going to replace Keira Knightley with in this next film? If I'm going to be watching another three hours of poor CGI and sitcom-level humor, they better have some saucy wenches for me to look at.

[via IGN]

At the press junket for Atonement in Manhattan on Tuesday, one brave soul piped up during the roundtables to ask Keira Knightley if she was or was not interested in returning for a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film. You may remember that the third one ended on that rather ambiguous note, but then sort of doubled-back with a pretty definitive, boxed-into-a-corner end-credit teaser. Knightley seemed to be ready for this question and had a very definitive answer. She quickly responded, with a tone of sadness and seriousness in her voice, "I can't imagine doing another one. That was an amazing experience, really was, totally extraordinary, but I think three for me is probably enough." This was probably to be expected. The Pirates series is subject to the same industry realities as the X-Men series -- the more money those movies make, the bigger the paychecks the cast members are going to demand for future installments. I think you can almost certainly say goodbye to Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner.

Regarding her other projects, Knightley reported that she has completed her work on The Duchess, as well as The Edge of Love, opposite Sienna Miller and Cillian Murphy. As far as future work, she had nothing to report on that front. Another interesting note: although Knightley showed up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed for today's junket along with her co-star James McAvoy, director Joe Wright was a no-show despite being in Manhattan as recently as last night. Joe, are you sick of us press people already?

As you're no doubt aware by now, I'm a big fan of the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy. At this point, you either love the series or you're completely disinterested in the franchise, so I'm guessing this DVD review is meant for the "already fans." We'll start off with some material from my original review of the film, then some thoughts after my second third time with the flick, and then we'll finish off with a blow-by-blow on the DVD goodies. (The DVD hits the shelves on December 4 in a solo-disc or dual-platter format. This review covers the two-disc special edition, which is scheduled to go "into Disney moratorium" as of September 2008.)

Sometimes the big-time franchise makers are damned if they do and damned if they don't: Churn out a skimpy "Part 3" that just rehashes what was offered in Parts 1 & 2 and you've got something vaguely entertaining but clearly inferior like Shrek the Third. Try too hard to jam too many arbitrary plot threads and flimsy characters into your third entry and you're stuck with a lurching behemoth like Spider-Man 3. And then you have the middle ground: The sprawling, gorgeous and massive adventure epic Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, which while far from a flawless film, aims to stay faithful to its predecessors while still upping the ante (a lot) with a boat-load of new plot developments, characters and surprisingly nifty subtext. Yep, this particular popcorn movie runs almost three full hours, but if producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Gore Verbinski had produced a quick-buck 92-minute third chapter, then the complaints would be legion. You can't win. Except at the box office, obviously.