I loved Grindhouse. Well, I loved Planet Terror, loved the ads, and liked Death Proof. But I loved, loved, loved the Machete trailer. Being a huge fan of Danny Trejo, Machete gave me just what I wanted -- a silly movie focused on someone I love watching. Of course, after Grindhouse came out, there were tons of rumors about Machete getting his own feature film. Some believed it. Some didn't. I just hoped.

The other day, The Movie Blog threw up the poster to the right, which you can see on their site in all of its full-sized glory. Is this really an official poster for Machete? Is it really on its way? Was a script completed before the strike? I would hope that "yes," is the answer to all of those, but I'm trying to reign in my excitement for now.

In the meantime, we can fangirl and fanboy away. What do you think of the poster? Me, I like it, but it would lose a lot of its charm if its grainy artwork was shown on a shiny, slick new poster. My thought: keep it as-is, but send it to all theaters folded where the folds are, and printed without gloss. That would be sweet, but not as sweet as the decent man who was living a decent life, but now he is a brutal savage who must slaughter to stay alive!

The last few weeks, No Country for Old Men has been hanging over my head like an ominous cloud of pressure, taunting me from my to-see list. It's the sort of film that has got film fans and casual moviegoers alike buzzing about it, which means that there's lots of Josh Brolin on the brain. His time with the Coen Brothers is just the perfect ending to what has become the year of Brolin -- Planet Terror, In the Valley of Elah, Chacun son cinéma, American Gangster, and No Country for Old Men. After 22 years in the business, the actor has hit his stride and proved that he's a hell of a lot more than just a young, ripped, heart-breaking Goonie. But still, there's nothing quite like the sweet memory of Brolin's start in one of the most beloved films of the '80s. And what's better to follow it then some zombie butt-kicking? Sit back, chew on some popcorn, and finish off 200-Brolin with The Goonies and Planet Terror.

The Goonies



It was only by mistake that I ever happened upon The Goonies, as I had been all set to see some Ghoulies. Nestled in the theater, I waited for the green demons to pop out of toilets, and after the bathroom scene came and went without a ghoulie in site, I realized that I had the wrong movie. Usually, this would be a big bummer, but fortunately, the mistake led me to a much better film -- one of those rare family flicks that everyone loves.

The story is simple -- a group of kids live in a modest neighborhood that's about to be torn down for a ritzy new golf course. Hoping to save their homes, the Goonies place their hope in the treasure map of the pirate, One-Eyed Willy. They face off against the criminal Fratelli family and set out to find the treasure and change their fate. A young, super-cute Sean Astin stars as Mikey Walsh, and a young, 17-year-old Brolin stars as his older brother -- the original and better Brandon Walsh. Of course, there's also Data, Mouth, Stef, Andy, and everyone's favorite Chunk.

There's lots of clips below, but if you're going to revisit Goonies territory, the best nibble you can get is on the DVD, which brings the whole young cast back for an interactive commentary for the film -- a rare an utterly-enjoyable feat. Other than that...

Second Most Important Nibble: The Truffle Shuffle!

Josh Brolin's Brand gets tied up.

Deleted Scenes from the DVD

Josh Brolin messes around with the Goonies 2 rumor mill.

The special 2-part Cyndi Lauper video for "Goonies 'R' Good Enough" w/ Goonies and WWFE wrestlers.

This was supposed to be a list of horror movies appropriate for dates. Unfortunately, I kept coming up with reasons why each movie wasn't a good idea. While my rationale wasn't entirely realistic, it got me thinking about movies that open certain cans of worms. Pregnancy. Momma's boys. Infidelity. These seven flicks have got lots of relationship deal-breakers in them, and can lead to some date-damaging conversation, rather than sexy innuendo and rose petals to the bedroom. They might uncover questionable morals, or even some private kink that you just can't get into. And some will get just a little spoilery, but most of them are classics, so you probably know the gist already.

Either way, you've been warned!


Eraserhead (1977)

Henry Spencer (Jack Nance) is just a simple, nervous printer who thinks his girlfriend, Mary (Charlotte Stewart), has broken up with him -- that is, until he is invited to dinner with her and her family. He finds out that she has had an amazingly brief pregnancy, and has given birth to some sort of strange alien baby. Being the noble boyfriend, he marries her, and is quickly left with this weird, wailing tot when she abandons them. Henry starts to become unhinged, and that just doesn't bode well for baby.

While this may be a short film, Eraserhead is packed full of taboo dating topics. Pregnancy. Marriage. Accepting abnormal babies. Ditching the family when sleep-deprived. Infanticide. One minute, you're watching an eerie David Lynch movie, and the next, you're having discussions about what you'd do with alien babies, whether you'd be noble and marry the mother of your out-of-wedlock kid. Or heck, whether love would keep you with her even if it looks like she got horizontal with some other strange sort of being.

It's winner MADNESS this week on Insert Caption. We're finally able to announce the grand prize winner for our Darjeeling Limited contest. Have fun in India, Alan T. (And no, he's not THE Alan T., a.k.a. fantasy dad Dr. Jason Seaver). We expect an exotic magnet or two (legal note: winners are in no way expected or obligated to purchase souvenirs, exotic magnets or otherwise, for trip providers). We'll also be sending a framed Planet Terror poster signed by Robert Rodriguez to Jordan M. (yes, THE Jordan M.) for last week's contest while our two runners up get DVDs and action figures.

1. "Look, don't hit me again but I really do think I have Bingo."
-- Alan T.

See full image and all captions




1. "And they say there are no roles left for women in Hollywood..."
-- Jordan M.

2. "This party's dead, we're outta here!" -- Peter A.

3. "Easily flammable house, check. Crowd of lost souls wandering aimlessly, check. Unattainable cool chicks all over each other, check. Yep, it's freshman year of college all over again." -- Chris O.

See full image and all captions

We're looking for a few more winners this week. And really, who needs India when you can win a tee-shirt, Frisbee, cup (the kind you drink out of, not protect the privates with), wristband and mini-poster from the new sports spoof The Comebacks? Just write one of our three captions for the pic below of David Koechner and Apollo Creed and sweet, victory could be yours, too. Good luck!

UPDATE: Winners Announced! Click Here

You thought that with all the love we've been throwing at Austin's Fantastic Fest we'd probably forget all about good ol' L.A. Screamfest. Not with me on horror watch! The event runs from October 12 to 20, and if you happen to be located anywhere near the legendary Mann's Chinese Theater -- you just might want to duck inside to see what sort of murderous mayhem is going on.

And the Screamfest looks to be starting off on the right foot this year: Last night's opening night film was George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead! After much praise from the audiences at Toronto and Fantastic Fest, the master's latest zombie opus will hit the west coast with much excitement and gore. And the fun doesn't stop there. The festival will also offer Robert Rodriguez's director's cut of Planet Terror (which is awesome) and a 25th Anniversary screening (and cast reunion) of Friday the 13th Part 3. Yes, in 3-D!

Attendees will also get to check out the long-awaited DVDquel Return to House on Haunted Hill, a screening of the great-looking 30 Days of Night (and the video prequels Blood Trails), David Arquette's festival fave The Tripper, and a variety of genre titles of various shapes, sizes and nationalities. Of the Screamfest flicks we've seen, we've already given a strong seal of approval on the quiet but creepy Alone, the robust zest of Wrong Turn 2, the Pakistani lunacy known as Hell's Ground, , the freakishly ferocious Inside, and the apocalyptic awesomeness that is The Signal. Plus I keep hearing that Shrooms is pretty amusing, Buried Alive is gruesome, and Storm Warning is really solid.

The good news: We are still in fact giving away a trip for two to India to the winner of last week's Darjeeling Limited contest. The bad news: Contrary to what some ill-informed stooge (me) stated in last week's post ("Winner will be announced Friday, October 11 12 @ 4:00 PM EST), we are still in the process of confirming our winner and will most likely not announce his or her name (and caption) until next Friday. As the expression goes, with free trips to India for photo caption contests comes all sorts of legal technicalities the average stooge doesn't take into account. But thanks to the thousand-plus of you who entered, we were rooting for you.

So onward with more prizes... But following up a free trip to India is hard. So below please find a photo of "two hot chicks on a motorcycle." You may also know them as Rose McGowan (soon to be Mrs. Robert Rodriguez) and Marley Shelton, stars of Rodriguez's 1973 2007 zombie movie Planet Terror, released in theaters as one-half of Grindhouse. Writers of our favorite caption will win a framed poster signed by Rodriguez, as well as the DVD and an action figure (of McGowan, not Rodriguez). Two runners up will win the DVD and action figure.
Good luck!

UPDATE: WINNERS ANNOUNCED! Click Here

From the lurking corners of the internet, sometimes called LiveJournal, comes a sneak peek at the DVD cover art for the Grindhouse separately released films Planet Terror and Death Proof. Based on these pictures, it looks like they'll be housed inside of collectible tins, with a regular snapper case underneath. But, as always with things on the web that don't come straight from the source, take it with a grain of salt.

You can read all about the special features that will be included after the break, but I'm most excited about Vanessa Ferlito's restored lapdance scene in Death Proof. Hopefully that'll be worth the price of admission alone. Rodriguez' Planet Terror will include mainstays from his DVD releases, including the 10 minute film school and cooking school entries, as well as a feature-length commentary track.

Thankfully, Death Proof will have a built-in special feature on your remote called the "fast-forward" button that will let you skip through all of those interminably long talking scenes. The shots of these DVDs look like they might have been taken at Comic-Con, where they had a real amputee dressed up like Cherry Darling. I didn't get close enough to check, due to the throngs of fanboys taking her pictures while she gyrated on a pole.

First, there was the growing, incessant Grindhouse buzz. Then, the film came out and the numbers weren't all that the Brothers Weinstein and the filmmakers were hoping for. How should they fix the dilemma? First, the idea was batted around to re-release each feature stateside, and hope for better numbers. That was abandoned, but then Cannes got a partial serving of Grindhouse -- Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof on its festival platter. James Rocchi said it was the same feature, with lots of added "jibber jabber." (Could the film really hold any more?!) The Terror end of things slipped into the shadows. Now with the theater experience all said and done, attention has turned towards the DVD release, and plans are still annoyingly split.

Bloody-Disgusting has posted that Death Proof is getting released on September 18, with absolutely no word about Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror. Assuming that the failure of the film is its length, why cut it on DVD? There's these great features called pause and stop, and these days, you can even turn your player off and have it start up where you left off just by hitting the "on" switch. What fan will want to buy two separate DVDs (and which disc would get the trailers?!), and have to switch discs just to try and recreate the experience? Yeah, there's the whole money angle, but I bet that the people itching to add Grindhouse to their collections aren't going to want them separated.

Besides, why in the world did Planet Terror fade away so easily? It was a wonderful, ridiculously fun homage -- one that Nick Schager called the victor of the two films -- and it's getting treated like chopped liver. Most of the people I talked with and reviews I read seemed to agree that it was the more enjoyable of the two, so what's the deal? It's annoying to have them split on DVD, but it's even worse to have the machine-gun-legged, bloody, maniacally wonderful serving wiped off the plate.

I'm probably as sick of waiting for Grindhouse as you are listening to me talk about it -- but I just can't help it! It's like two very cool filmmakers probed my brain and then went out to make a movie just for me! The sticky-floor throwback approach, the wonderfully weird ensemble casting, the affection for Z-grade schlock of yesteryear ... it's a comedy, an action flick, a horror-fest. At this point I know everything I need to know about Grindhouse -- except if it's actually any good. And for that answer we must wait until April 6.

In the meantime we have this all-new and extra-meaty Grindhouse trailer to pick through, and what a wild clip it is. Whether you're down with Robert Rodriguez' Planet Terror or Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof -- or both, obviously -- this new promo will make it clear, once and for all, if you should A) avoid this movie forever, or B) bolt to the theater the minute it opens. (Guess which camp I'm in.) The first half of the dangerous double feature focuses on a town beset by zombie-like lunatics; the second deals with a homicidal stuntman who kills people with his car. People who are already inside the car, that is.

I'd run through the massive cast list and make mention of the "in-between" trailers that are being helmed by Eli Roth, Rob Zombie and Edgar Wright, but the geekiness is almost too much to bear. And the first person who whines about a 3-hour exploitation-fest is gonna get the back of my (virtual) hand. If dramas and musicals can push three hours, then so can a movie like Grindhouse. It's only fair.

Okay, so here's a real treat for ya. Apparently, at some point during the 2006 Scream Awards last night on Spike TV, some footage (kind of a trailer, but not really) of Grind House was shown. And to our delight, that footage has shown up on YouTube this morning. Most of what you're about to see is from Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror (ya know, the zombie one), probably because Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof is still shooting in Austin. However, it really doesn't matter much because it all kicks major ass.

Oh, and we also get a peak at one of the fake trailers sandwiched in between each film. This one stars Danny Trejo as Machete, and without giving too much away let's just say the dude likes machetes. Who did I leave out? Ah, the Crazy Babysitter Twins! Man, I'm probably not making any sense right now, so you should seriously run over to YouTube and check this thing out now! Those of you wondering what a pair of hardcore horror films from Tarantino and Rodriguez would look like, well -- they look pretty freaking awesome. The only downside here is that we now have to wait until April of next year to see this sucker on the big screen. Bummer.

[via Twitch]