The director of The Hills Have Eyes II is teaming up with the star of the Prom Night remake for what should logically add up to the worst horror film ever made. Variety reports that Brittany Snow has been cast as the lead in the video game adaptation Clock Tower, to be directed by Martin Weisz. Again playing a teenager, despite the fact that she looks 40 (she's really 22), Snow will apparently fill the role of Jennifer Simpson, a 15-year-old girl Variety describes as "a troubled psychiatric patient who witnessed her parents die and is constantly plagued by religious imagery."

That sounds a lot less frightening than the actual game, but either the trade received a watered-down synopsis or Clock Tower will indeed be a disappointment to gamers. I've never played any of the Clock Tower games myself, but from what I've gathered from fan feedback, they're actually pretty scary. They center on a serial killer called the Scissorman, who stalks the player, who must survive by figuring out clues (feel free to correct me or elaborate if you've played).

This past Sunday, The New York Times featured a popular City-section story about the first-ever prom held for students of Brooklyn's International High School. In case you don't like to read, you can simply watch the video accompaniment here. And if you don't like to read and you don't like documentary-style videos, and have a lot of patience, you can wait for the feature film, which will apparently be hitting theaters some time in the future. According to New York magazine's Vulture blog, a number of producers are interested in optioning the article, while Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have personally brought it to the attention of Paramount Pictures, where Pitt's Plan B Entertainment has a first-look deal. Supposedly an unnamed non-Paramount studio exec beat us all to the punch by joking that "maybe Maddox and the twins can star in it." Of course, he forgot about Pax and Zahara (and the twins aren't really international).

Actually, the first joke I thought about was the running gag on TV's The Critic about the kid from Easter Island who attends the United Nations School. Then, the second joke I thought of was about Brangelina's adopted children. Then I kept thinking of other things, such as how thanks to Prom Night people might assume this other prom-themed movie is also a horror flick. But that's not so much a joke as it is me trying to think on a studio exec's level (hey, we were synchronous with the Maddox bit) in order to contemplate what they'd call the thing. International Prom? A Prom for All Nations (ala the video's title)? Or will Hollywood appropriately go for one of those song-based titles? Been around the World, perhaps?

If Tobe Hooper's Steven Spielberg's Poltergeist opened today, it would almost definitely earn a PG-13 rating. Earlier this year we were treated to a very entertainingly creepy monster movie called Cloverfield -- which was also rated PG-13. So we know it CAN be done. Despite what the horror fans have been conditioned to believe recently, it IS possible to make an effective horror movie that's not rated R.

But it sure as hell won't happen this week, as the latest no-effort PG-13 remake to lurch off of the assembly line is called Prom Night, and it's easily one of the flimsiest movies I've ever seen. The entire film absolutely reeks of corporatized product, and nobody involved in the flick (from director Nelson McCormick and screenwriter J.S. Cardone to just about every bored actor onscreen) seems even remotely interested in making, y'know, a half-decent movie. No, Prom Night exists for one reason only: To snatch some of that babysitting money from the 15-year-old girls of the planet. (I should know. I sat behind nine of 'em as Prom Night unspooled, and not one of 'em was paying as much attention to the screen as they were their cell phones.)

21 held a winning hand for two weeks in a row, taking the number one spot for the second time and Nim's Island led last week's new releases by taking second. Here's how the weekend went:

1. 21: $15.3 million
2. Nim's Island: $13.2 million
3. Leatherheads: $12.6 million
4. Horton Hears A Who: $9.1 million
5. The Ruins: $8 million

Here are this week's newbies:

Prom Night
What's It All About: Loosely based on the 1980 film of the same name which starred Jamie Lee Curtis. In this new version, a young woman named Donna and her friends are stalked by an obsessed killer on, you guessed it, prom night.
Why It Might Do Well: The trailer shows a bunch of teenage characters consistent with what you see on the CW Network, so if that's your bag you may enjoy this.
Why It Might Not Do Well: A PG-13 slasher film? That's like washing your feet without taking off your socks.
Number of Theaters: 2,400
Prediction: $11 million

Looking over this week's new releases, I couldn't help but feel bad for the prom. Ever noticed how something horrible always happens at the prom when it's featured in a movie? Either someone gets killed, someone gets humiliated, someone gets way too drunk -- where's the film about a bunch of kids who simply had a swell time at their prom? My prom never ended in disaster ... and yet we love to imagine a world where only the worst thing imaginable takes place at prom. Poor kids. (The latest prom-related horror flick, Prom Night, hits theaters this Friday.)

This got me thinking: What other fun real-life events are there to turn into horrific tragedies? Perhaps some studio will take a chance on ... Fourth Grade Play! Oh yes, it was supposed to be a simple performance of Romeo & Juliet until Shakes showed up with his deadly spear. Then there's ... Ira's Bar Mitzvah! Go ahead Ira -- spin the dreidel ... of fear! Or how about Sweet Sixteen! If you thought Amanda turned into a monster when things didn't go her way ... you have no idea what happens when the DJ forgets to play The Electric Slide!

Okay, here's your chance aspiring screenwriters: Who's got a fantastic horror script called My Bloody Baptism that they're just dying to get out there? What other so-called "special childhood events" should Hollywood tackle (in a horrific way, of course) on the big screen?

In order to promote the new Prom Night remake, Screen Gems designed a neat twist on the usual standees that you see at the multiplex. The cardboard display features a set of doors, which theater patrons are tempted to open up; when they do, an usher or some other theater employee jumps out and scares the crap out of them. As you can see in the YouTube video above, the stunt has even evolved into a viral marketing tool, as clips of moviegoers getting frightened are being uploaded to the net. I'm just waiting for the one that has an old codger faking a heart attack, only to turn the trick back on the theater staff when he screams "just kidding!". Of course, there's also a good chance that these standees are indeed unsafe for people with heart conditions.

With apologies to Joan Jett for swiping her album title, this week's installment of Trailer Park is about the young folk in one way or another.

Prom Night
It seems like every time a remake is announced there's an angered outcry from the fans of the original. I didn't care much for 1980's Prom Night, and based on this trailer I don't see much to look forward to with this new version. Certain kinds of horror can work with a PG-13 rating, but a slasher film? I don't see it. The trailer gives us a group of irritatingly over privileged teens gathering for the prom. Suddenly the lights go out, people start screaming, and I lose interest. This one hits U.S. theaters on April 11. Here's Scott's take.

Descendents (Solos)
Over at upcominghorrormovies.com they're referring to this one as the first Chilean zombie movie and the first English-language film from director Jorge Olguin. You can't exactly tell from the trailer that there are zombies in this thing, but there's obviously a widespread infection in an urban area with soldiers summarily blowing away the victims of some kind of infection. The story is told from the perspective of a little girl who joins forces with other children to escape the city. It looks bleak and horrifying, just as a zombie film should. So far there's no U.S. distribution planned for this one.

So here's where I'd normally rant and rave about how remakes are ruining horror and blah blah blah, but after suffering through the agony of this weekend's One Missed Call, I feel like it's a pointless rant indeed. So here's some more remake news: That new version of Prom Night is due on April 11, and you can check out the brand-new trailer for the flick over at UGO.com.

You're probably expecting me to get on a soapbox about how Paul Lynch's 1980 horror flick Prom Night is some sort of underrated genre classic and how dare someone have the audacity to remake a film that starred Jamie Lee Curtis, Leslie Nielsen AND Jeff Wincott -- but nah. Prom Night is a nostalgic little diversion from my childhood, but I'd be perfectly fine with a remake...

...provided it isn't as lame as the trailer we just watched. Looks like director Nelson McCormick and screenwriter J.S. Cardone just wanted to use the title -- because I sure as hell don't remember there being any swanky hotel rooms in the original Prom Night. Anyway, the trailer gives way too much away, anyhow. As if it matters. The PG-13 remake is a lock to bring in lots of teenage bucks, regardless of whether it's surprisingly half-decent or predictably wretched.

A lot of the old-school slasher fans recall Paul Lynch's Prom Night with some degree of fondness. Not because it's a great horror film necessarily (it ain't), but because it A) offers yet another early (screamy) performance from Jamie Lee Curtis, B) features a non-comedic performance by Leslie Nielsen (which are always fun), and C) has just enough creeps, chills and gore to keep the freaks happy. But really; Prom Night isn't any sort of classic.

But the title? Now, that's a good title. It'll strike a chord in the memory banks of most movie fans, plus even if you've never even heard of the 1980 slasher flick, "Prom Night" is a good title ... especially if you're pushing a PG-13 remake and you're hoping to get the teens interested. But yeah, Sony's backing the remake, which is directed by television veteran Nelson McCormick and written by J.S. Cardone, who recently gave us The Covenant and The Forsaken. Eesh.

Scheduled for release on April 11, the new Prom Night stars youthful females like Jessica Stroup (Hills Have Eyes 2) and Brittany Snow (The Pacifier), as well as good ol' Johnathon Schaech (Hush). Plus it looks like Jessalyn Gilsig is on board, and I've had a crush on her since her Boston Public days. Sigh. Anyway, Shock Til You Drop has an exclusive peek at the remake's brand-new one-sheet, so feel free to check that out right here.

And then feel free to stop back and leave a comment about how EVERY horror movie of the past three decades is being remade these days and boy are you sick of it. (Fuel to the fire: The Prom Night director's next gig? A remake of The Stepfather.)

The original was Terry O'Quinn's shining moment before he became John Locke on Lost. Now, in the previously announced remake of The Stepfather, O'Quinn's role will be refilled by Dylan Walsh. According to Variety, the Nip/Tuck star will play the homicidal "daddy" who marries Sela Ward and provokes the suspicions of her kid. This time around, though, the kid is a boy rather than a girl, and cast in the role is Penn Badgley (John Tucker Must Die). Rounding out the cast may be Adrianne Palicki (TV's Friday Night Lights), who is in negotiations to play the son's girlfriend.

The original, which came out in 1987 and later spawned a sequel, was pretty cheap and cheesy, but it was a neat horror interpretation of the usual fears of step-children, that the guy who married mommy is a really terrible man. Of course, in the movie, the stepfather turns out to be a serial killer who has slashed his former families to bits due to a psychological issue stemming from his childhood. According to Variety, Screen Gems is hoping to make the redo a more-Hitchcockian thriller. Somehow I doubt it will be anywhere near as good as one of old Alfred's classics.

The Stepfather also now has a script, which was written by J.S. Cardone (The Covenant), and a director, Nelson McCormick, who previously worked with Walsh on four Nip/Tuck episodes. Cardone and McCormick were also both involved with Screen Gems' remake of Prom Night, which hits theaters in April. About the same time as that release, The Stepfather will probably be just starting filming.