It's what I call a low fever week on DVD shelves this week, but let's see what we can find. Kim Voynar described Penelope as "a charming but fluffy little fable about a girl born under the shadow of a family curse." Christina Ricci stars as a woman with the face of a pig (!). James (Wanted) McAvoy, Reese Witherspoon, Catherine O'Hara and Peter Dinklage are also featured. The DVD includes a "making of" feature.

Other indie releases of interest this week: The Curiosity of Chance; Meet Bill; Monsieur Vincent; Never Forever; Times and Winds; The Year My Parents Went on Vacation.

Now that's we've covered the official business of this weekly post, let's talk oddities. The Beach Party at the Threshold of Hell is a wild post-apocalyptic comedy that other people have enjoyed much more than I did (which is to say not at all), but what I find really odd is that the DVD comes complete with "National Lampoon Presents" plastered at the top. Now, the National Lampoon label has never embraced comedy that I'd call "nervy." Gross out comedy? Yes. Bad attempts at parody? Yes. Endless pale imitations of frat house laughers? Yes. Beach Party may not have succeeded for me, but at least it tries to push the boundaries of what it's OK to laugh about.

Judging from the most opaque details that Variety has run regarding writer-director Cameron Crowe's next project -- his first in four years since the much-maligned Elizabethtown -- it wouldn't be unreasonable to suspect that Crowe is perhaps hedging his bets with a more reliable genre effort.

According to the trade publication, "Ben Stiller and Reese Witherspoon will star in an untitled Cameron Crowe romantic comedy adventure at Columbia Pictures." Since that's quite literally the gist of it, it seems fair to infer that the film will skew closer to Crowe's similarly themed and relatively successful Say Anything..., Singles, and Jerry Maguire than anything else on the man's resume, and I say that as someone who loves Almost Famous, dug Vanilla Sky, and will give Elizabethtown a second chance once there's nothing else on television.

For all we know, it could end up being some wildly unique "romantic comedy adventure," although it's not like the bar has been set incredibly high. While I do enjoy the works of Judd Apatow, the rom-com genre appears to have boiled down to his efforts and those of whichever cast member of 'Grey's Anatomy' couldn't resist a generic pitch and an easy paycheck; as such, having Crowe return to the field might be just what we all need.

The best family films aren't only for the kids; they look like a kiddie package but pack enough of an adult punch to make everyone happy. It looks like Monsters vs. Aliens might be just that. It is, and I quote from the new goodie extravaganza over at USA Today, "a throwback to those B-movie glory days of the '50s when Martians invaded our backyards and rubber monsters stalked the Earth."

This even includes specific references, such as the heroine Susan Murphy. She's a regular California girl who gets hit by a meteor and becomes 49' 11" tall (Attack of the 50-Foot Woman!), gets taken by the military, and renamed Ginormica. She's also being voiced by Reese Witherspoon. But that's not the only big name attached -- Rainn Wilson will handle the evil alien Gallaxhar, and Ginormica will be joined by Dr. Cockroach, Ph.D. voiced by Hugh Laurie, jelly-like B.O.B. handled by Seth Rogen, and the half-ape/half-fish Missing Link voiced by Will Arnett. Plus, there's Kiefer Sutherland as the aptly-named Gen. W.R. Monger and Stephen Colbert as the "plays it on steroids" president. (Some of them you can spot in the pic on the right, which you can see full-size at USA Today.)

But there's also a twist in this. Since the feature will be the first CG movie shot in 3-D, rather than converted to it, it has an extra $15 mil added to its budget, which will find its way out of fans' wallets. The tickets will cost more, although the price hasn't been determined. Jeffrey Katzenberg is hoping we'll all pay for "a premium experience." This sounds cool and all, but paying more for this movie sounds silly, esp. if it ends up killing at the box office. What do you think about this monetary twist?

So, IMDb has two stories about do-gooder celebs up this morning, one about Cameron Diaz calling the Oprah Winfrey show in support of her friend and fellow Angel Drew Barrymore, who was on the show to present a check for $1,000,000 to the United Nations World Food Program, and the other about Reese Witherspoon. Witherspoon is the cosmetic company Avon's "global ambassador for women's empowerment," and in that capacity, she kicked off Avon's partnership with the United Nations Development Fund for Women by announcing that Avon will be selling $3 "Women's Empowerment Bracelets" online to benefit the fund.

The slogan for the partnership is "Empower women, change our world," and if you go to the Avon website to the bracelet, it tells you to "wear the bracelet that could change the world." A sidebar on the bracelet's product page blithely tells you that the bracelet will "go great with the Speak Out Against Domestic Violence Keychain!" No, I'm not making that up.

Reese Witherspoon has come a long way since The Man in the Moon in 1991. She's hopped in a Thing and taken a desperate, mail-stopping road trip, lived in black and white, scored the heart of the most infamous and lascivious teen heartbreaker, been rabid for an election, dated a psycho, spent some time in lots of romantic comedy, and then became June Carter in Walk the Line and won an Oscar.

But did you ever see her as an action star? She told Sun Media recently that she's a big action fan, frustrated with the current state of affairs: "there aren't a lot of female characters women can look at and go, 'I want to be like that.' I go to movies and get frustrated - 'Shoot him! Shoot him!' Why does the guy get to shoot him - why can't the girl shoot him?" Eh, at least it's not like the old days where the woman would slink back into the corner and watch the action without helping, even when it was needed. I remember an episode of The Mod Squad where the good guy gets thrown over a railing, and struggles not to fall to his death while the woman watches him struggle his way up. Gee, thanks for the help!

Anyway, she'd like to get involved in an action film some day, but says that it might be as a producer. Cop out! Really, Reese, go for it. I think it would be great to see her as a cross between Linda Hamilton and Sarah Michelle Gellar -- meaning that it would be great to see her get ultra-buff and then become a pint-sized butt-kicker. Even if it doesn't work out, at least it will offer some variety.

Welcome friends to what has to be the most exciting Insert Caption in the history of caption contests around the world! This week, we have something so special for you that I can hardly write about it without watching the jealousy literally pour out my body. Seriously. It's disgusting. The jealousy just pours out into this liquid goo that sticks to everything. This week, we're wrapping our caption claws around Summit Entertainment's Penelope, starring Christina Ricci, James McAvoy and Reese Witherspoon. Now check this out -- one Grand Prize winner will ride away with a brand spanking new yellow Vespa LX 50 (pictured right, and courtesy of Vespa -- click on the image for a larger version).

That's right! And all you have to do is come up with the wittiest caption for the photo of Christina Ricci on a park bench below. The contest officially begins right now, and you have until 12:01am on Wednesday, February 27th to enter. For more on Penelope, check out the film's official website, and sound off below!

Read the official rules for this contest

Last week, we asked you to come up with captions for a photo from Charlie Bartlett -- and as much as we loved your toe-tapping toilet humor, we ultimately decided that Josh B. provided all the right caption-winning ingredients.

1. "So I definitely think your daddy issues stem all of the way back to potty training." -- Josh B.

See full image and all captions

I almost wrote up a fan rant this week about Paris Hilton. After a paragraph, I realized that I was stating the obvious and backed away from it all. See, she recently had an interview with MTV/VH1 where they actually noted that it was a "word-for-word" transcript in case you didn't believe it. The discussion started with Christine Lakin (her Nottie co-star) trying to explain what a primary was. Irk #1, not having the slightest clue about the political process -- and not even potentially remembering any bit of schooling I assumed she had. Why am I surprised? I don't know.

From there, it went through a bunch of b-s, and then we get to Irk #2. Farts came up, and when asked: "So, Paris, even when you're at home by yourself, you don't occasionally let one rip?" she responded with: "No! Girls don't do that. Ew." Oh yes, that's right. Our skin is always perfect, we never fart, we don't grow excess hair, and when we go to the bathroom, it's just to powder our noses, not to deal with anything unsightly. Good lord. Is it wrong of me to want to send over some flatulence fiends to torture her for days with dutch ovens?

Anyway... I need a little reassurance that the world isn't doomed when women like Paris are popular, so this double feature is about women who discover their brains and put them to good use. They're both blonde, and both have lots of success, so Paris, this is me hoping that there is still hope for you, and giving you a hint about where to start: a double feature of Clueless and Legally Blonde.

It would appear that tensions on the set of Four Christmases are at an all time high, as the off-screen feud between stars Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon continues to heat up. Last month we told you how both actors were a bit peeved over the other's work ethic. Witherspoon didn't like the fact that Vaughn would show up to the set unprepared, laid-back and ready to improv (after a long night at the bar), while Vaughn seemed pissed that Witherspoon refuses to lighten up and go with the flow. Perhaps that's why pal Jon Favreau was brought in for a late inning role, so that he could keep Vaughn in check and not let the guy ruin the entire flick?

Now, Digital Spy tells us that things on set aren't getting any better. Witherspoon apparently has a problem with one of the scripted love scenes between her and Vaughn, and doesn't want to go through with it. Says a spy: "Reese has an issue with the scripted love scene. It is meant to be a funny, American Pie-style romp, full of bumps and laughs, but Reese is of such a prude, she thinks it's just too much." And this is the girl who was just named the most-liked celeb in 2007? Granted, I wouldn't blame Witherspoon for not wanting to get dirty between the sheets if her partner reeks of alcohol and refuses to go strictly by the script. Who knows what he would do once they were in bed together; for all we know, he could go crazy with the improv, whip out his Johnson and start wagging it around. Sheesh, no Oscar winner deserves that sort of disrespect.

Then again, a scene like that would probably go down as one of the funniest of the year. Poor Reese. If you slack off on set, you get reamed, and if you show up every day on time, with your ultra-professional cap on, you still get reamed. I guess you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Hopefully the film won't suffer because of this feud (though the press junkets should be very interesting).

According to JoBlo, Reese Witherspoon has signed on to produce and star in a film called Nice, which is an adaptation of Jen Sacks' darkly comedic novel. The book itself sounds great, and definitely the kind of material we need to see Witherspoon taking on again. Nice is said to center on a gal who is overly nice. She's so nice, in fact, that she can't even break up with her boyfriend. So, instead, she decides to kill the guy -- and when she gets away with the murder, she decides to keep doing it. Um, nice!

Witherspoon first showed she could really act in the dark comedy Election, which, if you haven't seen, I might need to kill you myself. But ever since she became a household name, the gal has pumped out dull romantic comedy after dull romantic comedy ... with a random drama thrown in to show you she's got the acting chops. Don't get me wrong, people love to see her locking lips with whatever actor is hot at the moment, but I personally have been itching to see her go back to her dark comedy roots and get a little daring with a role. What say you? Anyone read the book?

And for your viewing pleasure ...

There may be trouble with the on-set paradise between Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn in Four Christmases, but for the film as a whole, things just got kookier. The Hollywood Reporter says that old Vaughn friend Jon Favreau has joined the mix, along with Tim McGraw and Dwight Yoakam. Yeah, not exactly the two names that I expected to follow. But it gets even better. McGraw and Favreau will play Brad's (Vaughn) brothers called Denver and Dallas. Talk about feeling on the outside -- not getting another Texas name like Austin or something. Anyhow, they're "siblings who delight in tormenting their brother" over the holidays.

As for ol' Yoakam, he'll play "Pastor Phil, the overly zealous partner of Brad's new wife Kate's (Witherspoon) mother (Mary Steenburgen). He persuades the young couple to act in his church's nativity play, one of the many chaotic events during their visits to different sets of parents." Okay, now considering my own history with the holidays, and other people I know, one or two house/party visits makes for a hectic holiday, let alone visiting four different parents and acting in a nativity play. Hopefully all of this craziness stays on the comfortable side of comedy, and doesn't become a Meet the Parents sort of film where stupid character decisions leads to just as much discomfort as laughs. Still, this is sounding like it could actually be some Christmas fare that's worth the time.