I can tell you a thousand things that Scrooged, director Richard Donner's 1988 updating of A Christmas Carol, gets wrong. It features Bobcat Goldthwait, for one example; it's silly and sketchy and has the attention span of a fruit fly, for another. Carol Kane's Ghost of Christmas Present is amusing for a millisecond and annoying for every moment thereafter. The script veers between brilliance and bathos, there's at least four too many sub-plots and the film is littered with those little Donner touches -- left-leaning posters as set dressing, acting in his own film -- that mark Donner as one of the more competent and terrifying hacks of our time.

But there's one thing that Scrooged gets right -- and indeed, it gets that one thing so right, that moment of perfection turns it from a diverting cable standby to compulsory holiday viewing. Mitch Glazer and Michael O'Donoghue's script gives a modern makeover to Dickens's classic story, and also mocks the Scrooge tale even as it re-enacts it. Frank Cross (Bill Murray), the youngest network president in the history of television, is harried and hateful as the holiday approaches; his network's spending $40 million on a live production of A Christmas Carol (which, for some reason, the film calls "Scrooge") that'll run Christmas Eve. The live shoot is going to be a mess: Buddy Hackett's playing Scrooge, and isn't great with his lines, at one point asking in dress rehearsal "Why am I surrounded by these sea urchins?" John Houseman's doing the narration; Mary Lou Retton is playing Tiny Tim. It's going to be horrible. And, most importantly to Frank, profitable.

No Christmas is complete without at least one viewing of the opening scene of Lethal Weapon, in which the happy melody of Jingle Bell Rock fades into the vision of a coked-out, topless Amanda Hunsaker preparing to pay for all the sins of 80s excess with one perfectly executed swan-dive off a high-rise balcony and onto the waiting windshield of a car below. I won't be so brash as to call it the best scene in the entire Lethal canon -- the 'death by surfboard' sequence in Lethal Weapon 2 is tough to beat -- but it's certainly up there, and fun for the whole family. It's also one of several Christmas-focused scenes throughout the film, another favorite of which would be the coke-deal gone bad in the Christmas tree lot, with Martin Riggs unwisely revealing himself as a cop to the bad guys before he has the drop on them -- what is he, suicidal or something? -- and then getting into a full-blown gunfight with several hoods amongst all those pine needles.

Lethal Weapon has some similarities with another Christmas classic, Gremlins, in that it draws a lot of its negative energy from the idea that if your life sucks, it's going to suck a lot worse during the holidays. The film's most resonating scene -- the one for which a set trailer reportedly had to be ready-made at all times for whenever Mel Gibson felt like he could act the scene -- comes with Riggs being overcome by the absence of his recently-deceased wife (those South African bastards) and putting a hollow-point bullet into his 9mm and putting the 9mm in his mouth. Just as he's about to depress the trigger, you can hear Bugs Bunny shouting Christmas tidings on the television opposite, and it looks like it's all over. It's easy to overlook how good the acting is here -- Mel is really firing on all cylinders in the scene. I have no idea if he's ever done a DVD commentary for the film, but if he has I'd probably want to listen to hear what he has to say about that scene.

Welcome back to The Write Stuff! I'm thrilled that there is such a strong interest in screenwriting out there. Thank you all so much for your comments last week, both here and on my site. All of your questions and comments will be addressed in the coming weeks, so stay tuned and keep them coming!

The first interview for the column is with red-hot screenwriter Adam F. Goldberg. Adam is living the dream. He writes for both television and film, and his upcoming movie projects include Fanboys, the live-action Jetsons movie, and They Came from Upstairs. Cinematical spoke with the incredibly busy Goldberg about his scripts, his process, and Goonies: The Musical.

Cinematical: You said you were being "enslaved by a director," what are you working on? And should I call the authorities?

Adam F. Goldberg: Perhaps call them for my hacky writing! It's called They Came From Upstairs for Fox. It's a family movie, kinda like Gremlins -- but with aliens. The spec was written by Mark Burton and was sold for like $1.7 mil. I believe I am making about .0001212 of that. It's been a really cool project. The movie was in pre-production and the studio realized the script wasn't ready and shut it down pretty late in the game. I came aboard to get the train back on the tracks which is always high pressure and very difficult to do. I handed in 40 pages and they re-greenlit the movie and we're casting and location scouting now. I'm on draft two currently, working next to the director and bringing his vision into it.

Cinematical: Is that an awkward process at all -- being brought in to re-write a fellow writer? Do you ever run into hurt feelings or bruised egos? I guess the $1.7 million makes the pill easier to swallow.

AFG: Well, I come from the TV world, writing on sitcoms and that's very collaborative. You have to sit in the room and watch 10 other writers tear apart your script right in front of you. That bruises your ego. As for movies, more often than not a writer can only go so far and it's your job to bat clean up. It's never a great feeling to have your screenplay rewritten, but hopefully you've moved onto your next project, so it doesn't sting so much. And believe me, that $1.7 payday is like winning the lottery. I hope I can sell a spec one day. I've had little luck in that department.

I was working at a movie theater in the summer of 1998, the summer Lethal Weapon 4 was released. One of my job responsibilities was to stand and wave goodbye to people as they'd leave their movies. (Armageddon came out the week before LW4, and I got a lot of mileage out of the line, "With all this waving, my Armageddon tired!"). I was excited about Lethal Weapon 4. I hadn't loved the previous installment, but Mel Gibson and Danny Glover were back, I had come to terms with the fact that Joe Pesci wasn't going anywhere, Rene Russo is about as solid a love interest as an action movie can get, I think Chris Rock is hilarious and I had heard amazing things about Jet Li. Plus, this would be the first Lethal I saw on the big screen. How could it go wrong?

Answer: In just about every conceivable way.

Lethal Weapon 3 was a mess, but it was a fun mess. LW4 isn't fun at all. It's downright boring. Everyone looks tired and uninspired (rhyme). The laughs aren't there. The action, aside from a great highway chase, is run-of-the-mill and confusingly shot. And there's a downright icky sentimental streak running through it -- a sappy side that is light years away from screenwriter Shane Black's original vision for these characters.

Watching Lethal Weapon 3 in the middle of this season full of big, bloated "threequels," it almost looks quaint. It's also -- and again, this might be due to the dreary current state of the summer blockbuster -- somewhat better than I remembered. Somewhat.

Don't get me wrong, it's a hot mess. They tried to cram way too much into this movie, which is why you get a lot of scenes of Riggs and Murtaugh coincidentally standing next to crimes as they break out. There's not a whole lot of police work going on here. Basically, wherever Riggs and Murtaugh are hanging out -- action will materialize. Witness the unbelievably unbelievable scene where Murtaugh takes Riggs to a hamburger stand and gets behind the counter to make him the world's best hamburger. Why is this scene in there? So our boys can "stumble" upon a crime in progress -- right in the middle of Los Angeles' notoriously dangerous "Hamburger Stand District." It's all pretty damn lazy.

Mel Gibson and Danny Glover should teach a class in chemistry. Their natural, lovable work remains the real draw of the series. These guys could play these roles in their sleep, and indeed there's a bit less spark in their performances this time around. The Riggs character continues his unfortunate watering down, but Glover is given a little more to chew on outside of running around yelling "Riggs!" The "8 days from retirement" bit is beyond played out, but having Murtaugh deal with aging works well for the film. Scenes like the one where Murtaugh accidentally fires his weapon in a locker room and Riggs covers for him are pretty touching.

We're back, we're bad, you're black, I'm mad!

That about sums it up.

When I mentioned that I'd be writing about this series, I was surprised by how many friends cited Lethal Weapon 2 as their favorite. It's an extremely entertaining film, but for me, it doesn't pack anywhere near the impact of the original. There's much to love about this sequel, and Mel Gibson and Danny Glover ooze chemistry once again, but I do have some issues with it.

The way the original was set up, a sequel was hardly necessary. The Riggs character had an immensely satisfying arc, and no longer wants to die. The "suicidal hero" element was the main hook of the original, so taking it away presents what must have been a real problem for screenwriter Jeffrey Boam. It's sort of like being told you have to write a Robocop movie where Robocop is no longer a robot. The best part of the original essentially had to be removed. If LW2 opens with Riggs inexplicably suicidal again, you're making an action movie about coping with depression. If it opens with Riggs upbeat and completely sane, the character will be watered down and disappointing. Boam does a pretty good job of keeping the Riggs character edgy and off-balance, but that batshit crazy quality Riggs had in the first one is sorely missed here. And, it must be noted, it's in even shorter supply later in the series.

I was technically not allowed by my parents to see R-rated movies until I was seventeen. Luckily, I had friends whose parents weren't as concerned about maintaining the innocence of their children. My best friend had an enormous collection of the action extravaganzas I craved as a boy, and many a Saturday night was spent in the company of forbidden friends like John McClane, John Rambo, and John Connor (lotta Johns). And I'll never forget the night I met Sergeants Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh.

I knew right away Lethal Weapon was special when it opened with nudity! (Keep in mind, I was about eleven). It kicks off with a half-naked girl jumping to her death and just doesn't let up from there. Lethal Weapon didn't create the "buddy movie," but, for better or worse, it helped make the genre what it is today. Lethal more than earns its place alongside the glorious Midnight Run on a very short list of the eighties' finest blends of action, character, and comedy. It's been endlessly ripped off, (and did some minor ripping off of its own -- see William Friedkin's fantastic To Live and Die in LA, released two years earlier. Even Murtaugh's immortal line -- "I'm getting too old for this shit," was used there first), but, as is the case with all rip-offs, the heart and soul tend to get forgotten. Hell, the heart and soul were forgotten as the Lethal Weapon movies went along -- but I'll get to that later in the week.

Like most people of my generation, I really loved The Goonies when I was growing up. I was the perfect age for the flick when it first came out, and although I still enjoy the movie, I'd be lying if I said, well, the flick's a bit louder, goofier and dumber than it was in 1985. Still, a fun little confection that I do pop into my DVD player from time to time -- and like most of you, I'd be very curious to see Richard Donner bring the whole cast back together for a sequel. Apparently it's almost happened once or twice, but now it looks to be a completely dead project.

The final nail in the Goonies 2 coffin seems to have arrived in the form of a Richard Donner interview over at IESB.net. It's there that the very successful director of Superman, Scrooged and the Lethal Weapon series mentioned that Warner Bros. might be mounting a direct-to-video (shot in 11 days?) sorta sequel to The Goonies. Because that's what's popular and profitable these days: Delivering a bunch of in-name-only follow-ups to popular films and then unleashing them directly to video. (Anyone out there rent The Sandlot 3 yet? Didn't think so.)

Mr. Donner hints that he might soon be directing a Western movie, but it seems a foregone conclusion that a "real" Goonies sequel will never happen. But hey, we now have a DTV release to "look forward" to! Maybe they'll get Josh Brolin and Kerri Green to come back as parents whose kids go on a mega-cool subterranean adventure that involves pirates, gold and a budget of about $2.1 million. Sheesh. More details as they ooze out of WB's chintzy sequel division.

I'm well aware that it's a thoroughly nerdly hobby, but I'm a sucker for a good commentary track. Not those dry and painful ones or the self-adoring love-fests in which everyone was "awesome" and "like, so talented." Nope, I dig the laid-back tracks from the directors who are cool enough to relax, but informed and passionate enough to share some illuminating insights -- but mainly I just like the fun ones. As you scan through my admittedly fluffy list, it's important to remember that, while I do listen to a lot of "grown-up" commentaries, I generally tend to remember the more "entertaining" ones. (Then again, a good film noir with a historian talk-track ... fun stuff! And I'm not kidding!) But since most of my DVD collection consists of action, comedy, sci-fi and (lots of) horror, my selections will run towards that direction. My apologies to the Criterion junkies, but you already know those commentaries are high-end stuff.

1. John Carpenter and Kurt Russell on Escape from New York, The Thing and Big Trouble in Little China -- Yakking away like the two old pals they obviously are, Carpenter and Russell chit-chat non-stop through all three of the geek-beloved genre collaborations. Whether they're chuckling about embarrassing moments, enjoying the old movie memories or asking one another about their kids, this pair makes for an exceedingly entertaining audio experience. And yes, they pay attention to the movies, too. (Also recommended: Russell, Bob Gale and Robert Zemckis on Used Cars or Carpenter on Halloween and The Fog.)

2. Terry Gilliam on Brazil -- One of the best audio commentaries I've ever heard. Brutally honest and endlessly fascinating, Mr. Gilliam goes on about the troubled production, the screenplay, the studio interference, the critical reaction, the uproar, and on and on. The fact that Gilliam's a naturally fantastic storyteller certainly doesn't hurt. And get this: The audio commentary isn't even the best supplement included in this stellar three-disc set. (OK, so I had to get one Criterion disc in here. Also recommended: Gilliam and Terry Jones on Monty Python and the Holy Grail or Gilliam on 12 Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.)

First, the news we've all been waiting for, and by "we" I mean "hardcore Superman geeks." The long-awaited "Donner Cut" of the super-sequel will hit DVD on November 28th -- and it'll be surrounded by a ton of sparkly new Special Editions of Superman (1978), Superman 2 (1980), Superman 3 (1983), Supergirl (1984), Superman 4: The Quest for Peace (1987), and Superman Returns (2006).

I'll try to break this down as simply as possible. If you walk into a DVD shoppe on 11/28, you'll be greeted by:

• A 4-disc Special Edition of the original Superman, which contains both the theatrical and the 2001 extended cut, a new commentary with producers Ilya Salkind and Pierre Spengler, the 2001 commentary with Richard Donner and Tom Mankiewicz, three documentaries, some restored scenes, screen tests, archival materials, nine old-school Superman cartoons, and the 1951 feature Superman and the Mole-Men.

• A 2-disc Special Edition of the Superman 2 we already know and love, only now it comes with Salkind/Spengler commentary, two old TV specials, a Fleischer featurette, and more Super-cartoons.

• The single-disc Superman 2: The Richard Donner Cut, which comes with a new featurette entitled Restoring the Vision, a new Donner/Mankiewicz commentary, and (of course) the highly-anticipated retroactive facelift that the fans have been clamoring for.